Human Nature
by MadamePlume
Summary: Nominated in The Moonlight Awards for Best All-Human. The Cullen family stumble across a naked and bloodied young woman in the forest. She has no apparent memory, cannot communicate, and seems to be completely primal. Who is the girl they now call Bella?
1. Human Nature

**Hey guys! So welcome to my very first Twilight fic! I'm excited and terrified, and I really hope you guys enjoy this. I'll be updating weekly, and I'm not sure how long this will be yet but please read and review!

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"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain... and an athlete... and a basket case... a princess... and a criminal... Does that ans-"

"Emmett, I swear to god..."

"Sincerely yours, The Breakf- OUCH!" Emmett sat looking at me, rubbing his head with an expression on his face that would have convinced anyone that I had just stabbed him without reason instead of just throwing a book at his head for annoying the shit out of me. "What the fuck, Edward?"

"I warned you," I shrugged. He really _did _have ample warning. He had been ignoring my threats for ten whole minutes of reciting that goddamn movie before I threw the book at him.

"You couldn't just let me finish?" he asked, looking personally offended that he hadn't gotten to utter the last one-and-a-half words of the film. "Dick," he muttered, low enough that he probably thought I didn't hear him. Jasper sniggered from the floor below me, his hat disrupting my view of his face. Emmett reached over and tossed his hat across the room, interpreting his snigger as a declaration of his loyalty towards me. "Laugh now, Jazz, when you have to look me in the face," Emmett sneered, though his eyes were playful.

"Emmett just go fetch my fedora hat and nobody has to get hurt," he drawled, looking bored with the entire exchange.

"Fine," Emmett muttered, throwing the fedora at Jasper's face. He caught it skilfully and placed it back on his head.

I was just about to alert Jasper to the fact that he must, in fact, be gay if he knew that his hat was called a fedora – his relationship with my sister Alice wasn't fooling anyone – when my father walked in. He hadn't been due home for several hours yet, meaning he'd forgotten the lunch mom made for him – again.

"Boys, are you just going to lie there all day?" he gently chided. "Jasper. I take it you'll be here for dinner once again?" he asked, a small smile playing on his lips. For some reason, he was always nicer to Jasper than he was to Emmett and I – his own sons.

"Yeah, thanks Dr. Cullen," Jasper replied. Carlisle beamed at him and a felt that all-too-familiar pang of jealousy towards my best friend.

"Get out of the house. We are surrounded by all this forestry and you boys just stay inside all day. I don't care how much you work," he said, holding a hand up to silence Emmett's protests. "I work five times as much as you do and I would _love_ the opportunity to explore. Edward," he began, turning the full force of his paternal disappointment on me. "You don't work at all. I know you don't know what direction you're taking yet, but maybe if you get out there you might be inspired," he suggested. It made no fucking sense to me how 'exploring nature' could possibly inspire a career choice and I personally thought that Carlisle should just be happy that at least _one_ of his children was going to college after the summer break, but I would argue with him about it many times in the future and now just wasn't the time to start shit – not when I knew he had to walk out the door in about thirty seconds.

"Maybe we'll pack some sandwiches and have a picnic," I responded instead, hoping my voice wasn't too thick with sarcasm. No luck. Carlisle sighed, plucked his lunch from the kitchen bench and headed out the door. I threw a cushion at Jasper and continued popping gummi bears into my mouth.

***

The rest of the afternoon went by as normal. The three of us guys just bummed around the house, doing whatever we damn well pleased, and generally just not giving a fuck because the women and Carlisle weren't around to nag us.

Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend and Jasper's twin sister, was busy working to get the bar she was opening with Emmett off the ground. She and Emmett has an agreement that she would be the brains of the project – taking care of accounting, design and all the general business-minded stuff – and Emmett would be in charge of running the bar once it was open.

Alice was at the office with our mother Esme. The two of them ran an event management business which had really taken off during the year while Alice had still been at school and helping out only on weekends. All three of us Cullen kids had graduated together, and I was the only one who didn't have a job to go to or any idea where a job might come from any time in the future. I didn't really care for trying to think about it at present, either. I just wanted to enjoy my summer – my freedom.

Out of nowhere there was a high-pitched wailing noise that made all of us perk up and turn our attention to the window. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard, metal scratching metal, branches on a window, babies crying and intense agony. Without realising it, we were flying out the door and into the forest that surrounded our house with an enthusiasm that bordered on psychosis.

"What...?" Jasper's question was caught in his throat as we ran, the trees whipping past us, our feet not even touching the ground. We were flying, and we had no idea what we were flying to but we couldn't stop. There was no way of knowing exactly where the noise had come from but there was something magnetic pulling us towards the heart of the forest – the very centre of the thick greenery that I had often stared into but never really been interested in.

We came to a halt at exactly the same time. We had reached a spot where the sound that had pulled us towards it still resonated in the air. A spot that seemed to glow, though it looked no different than any other part of the forest. No different except for the small heap of limbs covered in leaves right in front of us.

"Fuck..." I wasn't sure who had spoken – it may well have been me – but the word summed up the scene perfectly.

About three feet from us was a person, both beautiful and terrifying to behold. She was completely naked, but covered in blood and foliage. She was writhing on the damp, soft ground – a soft whimpering sound coming from the mouth none of us could see for her wild hair was covering her face.

"Are you okay?" Emmett asked in a voice that seemed to boom in the quiet of the forest. Three heads snapped towards him, and two snapped back to the young woman at our feet. She scrambled, rolling over, sitting up and drawing her knees to her chest. At least now I wouldn't be distracted by her nudity – the worst of it was covered. Her eyes were as wild as her hair and her eyes matched the terror that was swelling in my stomach.

"She's afraid, just take it easy Em," Jasper whispered, crouching down to try and meet the girl's eyes, which were darting around and between us. "Hi there," he smiled when he caught her gaze. "I'm Jasper. Do you know where you are?" The girl slid backwards and let her hair fall into her face once more. She remained unresponsive as we spoke to each other wordlessly, wondering what to do next and how to help her – she was clearly disturbed and it looked as though she'd been attacked very recently.

I stole glances at her as we decided who would go for help and who would stay with her – I could see her bright brown eyes peeking through her hair. My stomach rumbled, and I felt around my pockets for something to eat, finding the gummi bears I often kept on my person. With a triumphant smile, I popped two orange ones into my mouth and hummed in satisfaction. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the girl peering curiously, and I decided that if she was going to be responsive at all it was going to be now.

"Want one?" I asked, trying to seem casual though my traitorous voice shook a little in my anxiety. I crouched down and shuffled towards her, holding out an offering of four gummi bears. Red ones. _Everyone likes the red ones..._

She straightened up a little and pushed her hair out of her face. I could practically hear the boys behind me vibrating with anticipation of her spilling her story to us, but she didn't make a sound. Those big brown eyes darted viciously between my own eyes and the gummi bears in my palm and it was in that moment that I realised she had no idea what I was offering her. _What kind of person has no fucking clue what a gummi bear is?_

To make matters easier, I pinched two between my fingers and placed them on my tongue. I sighed contentedly as I chewed and swallowed, exaggerating a little. "See? They're good," I assured her, having noticed how carefully she had been watching me eat – no doubt waiting for me to keel over from the poisonous gummi bears. I patted my stomach and smacked my lips, exaggerating again. She frowned a little, looking confused, but hesitantly reached forward and mimicked exactly what I had done with my two gummi bears – she even hummed softly. I heard Jasper chuckle softly behind me, and felt Emmett's intense gaze boring into the back of my head. I turned to flash them both a grin, but was startled when I felt something touching me. The girl had lurched forward and was searching my hand for more food. I watched her in shock, my jaw almost hitting the earth under my feet. _What the fuck is she doing?_

"She's primal," Jasper breathed, answering my question. "Where did she come from?" he asked, his thoughts mirroring my own as they often did. I would have joined in the speculating that followed but I still had a jungle girl searching my hand for food – I was a little distracted to say the very least.

"Hang on, hang on," I gently chided, not moving the hand she was searching but reaching into my pocket with the other. I retrieved the gummi bears and held them in front of her. Immediately, the frantic girl was still. I couldn't help but think that this may be the calm before the storm – was she going to try and fight me for them? My question was answered when – faster than lightning – she swiped the packet from my hand and scrambled backwards, cramming gummi bears into her mouth as though they were the last morsel of food on earth. Emmett roared with laughter at the sight, startling the girl and sending her flying even further backwards and back into her foetal position, eyes once again panicked and peering out from the curtain of hair spilling over her knees. His laughter ceased the very second Jasper's fist connected with his shoulder and he cursed as he rubbed the sore spot.

Jasper joined me on the ground – I hadn't moved throughout the entire ordeal – and just kept smiling softly at the girl. "Dude, you're probably creeping her out."

"I don't see you doing anything to help."

"I just fed her!"

"Yeah and now you're not doing anything so I'm gonna try to reassure her-"

"By looking like a paedophile?"

"Shut up, both of you!" Emmett hissed. "That's no way to speak in front of Leeloo!"

We both turned at stared in utter bewilderment. Did he know this girl?

"Do you know this girl, Emmett?" Jasper asked, once again speaking my thoughts. Emmett shook his head.

"No, but isn't it obvious? She's the fifth element," he said, his voice full of reverie. He approached the frightened jungle girl and held his hands palm up in surrender. "I'm not gonna hurt you, Leeloo. Okay? I'm gonna get you t-" Emmett was interrupted as 'Leeloo' whimpered and hid once more, shaking her head in protest.

"Emmett, I don't think she likes you," I warned, trying to pull him back.

"You're pretty big, dude, she's terrified of you," Jasper said at the same time. "And stop calling her Leeloo," he mumbled. "You should go get help."

"No," Emmett argued firmly. "I am not handing her over to any authority. What if I'm right? We're gonna hand her over to police and they discover what she is and the FBI takes over, then the CIA, then she's in a pod somewhere being poked and prodded. We found her! We have a responsibility to take care of her! I don't wanna leave her here all bloodied and confused and scared and I'm definitely not going to hand her over to the police!"

"Let me get this straight," I began after a moment's stunned silence at Emmett's outburst. "You think that she's the fifth element?"

"Yes."

"Isn't the fifth element love?"

"Leeloo was the embodiment of it," Emmett replied, catching on to what I was getting at. I mean, really the entire thing was ridiculous. "Look I know it sounds crazy but we don't know where she's come from and look at her!" he gestured towards the girl and the three of us finally just took a moment to appreciate her.

'Leeloo' was small and thin, her skin not quite creamy white and not quite warm brown. She had wide eyes the colour of chestnuts and dark hair cascading down her back in waves and curls. Her cheekbones were high and angular, her small nose a perfect straight line down to her full red lips. She was, in short, perfect.

"I mean okay she's not pure perfection," Emmett continued, and I raised an eyebrow at him – what he said couldn't have been further from the truth. "But she clearly has no idea about anything. She's pure and innocent and... She's wild and primal and..." he trailed off, knowing he didn't need to continue. It was pretty obvious that we were dealing with something way beyond our means.

"Okay this is what we do," Jasper began, assuming the leader role once again – he always took charge in these kinds of situations. Not that we'd been in a situation anything like this before. "We take her home. We try to clean her up the best we can. When Carlisle gets home _I_ will talk to him and explain the situation. We don't call anyone else unless we're in danger. We tell no one – Rose, Alice and Esme excepted."

"I'm not sure we should even tell the girls," I argued, not even liking the idea of taking her home. I kept my eyes on her and she kept hers on me as the boys listed all the reasons why their girlfriends should be involved in this mess. I tried to figure her out from my position six feet away. Was she going to be a danger to us? Where did she come from? Why was she here? Why did we have to respond to that stupid noise? What the fuck _was_ that noise anyway? Why wasn't she talking to us? Why didn't she know anything? No, I definitely didn't want to take her home with us. I just wanted to call emergency services and have her off our hands. But from the planning I could hear going on beside me I was outnumbered so we were going to take her home regardless. "Can we at least give her a better name?" I asked, grimacing every time they called her Leeloo. "She's not a fucking movie character."

"What do _you_ wanna call her then?"

"Why don't we ask her?" Jasper suggested, sinking fully to the ground and sliding forward until he was just inches from the girl. She moved quickly to the side, uncomfortable with Jasper's proximity. "What's your name, huh?" he asked in a tone that I'd heard him use only once before – in front of a baby. "You got a name, beautiful girl? What do they call you, honey?"

"He's gone back into paedophile mode," Emmett snickered. I frowned and moved forwards to sit Indian-style next to Jasper, suddenly inspired.

"Her name is Bella," I told them matter-of-factly.

"Why Bella?" Emmett asked, clearly as perplexed as he was thick. Wasn't it obvious?

"Because it suits her that's why," I answered. He seemed offended by my harsh tone, but I didn't care. I kept moving forwards until we locked eyes like when she took my offering. "Do you like that name?" I asked her, fully aware of Jasper's revered stare and Emmett's shock. "Do you like your name, Bella?" I repeated, afraid to breathe other than speaking. She calmed down again, straightening up like last time and pushing her hair completely out of her face. "Bella..." I tested her name out on her, trying to get a reaction – an approval – anything. She didn't respond; she only kept gazing right into my very core. "Let's go home," I tried, moving closer once more and holding my arms out to her – I wasn't sure if she was well enough to walk and I sure as hell wasn't going to have Emmett or Jazz carrying a naked chick into a house that may well contain their girlfriends by now. Besides, if Carlisle was home, I wasn't going to let either of them get the glory of being the hero in his eyes. "Come on, my Bella," I coaxed, holding my arms out wider. She eyed me sceptically, as though she thought I was offering her something more than just my arms – something she couldn't see and didn't trust.

"Edward..."

"Shut up. Look." I barely heard the exchange between the other two, because Bella was moving closer. She moved into the space between my arms, allowing me to scoop her up. I huffed a little as I stood; deciding then and there that I needed to work out more if lifting an eighty-pound girl elicited any kind of noise from me.

The walk home was silent, Emmett walking ahead and clearing the path of any obstructions as Jasper examined Bella from a short distance, practicing for his budding career in medicine or whatever the fuck it was he was going to do that was making my dad so proud. Bella simply buried her head into my shoulder and stayed perfectly still aside from her tiny fingers weaving in and out of the hairs on the nape of my neck. "Almost there," I whispered to myself, tightening my hold on her as she began to shiver – the return was a hell of a lot longer than the initial journey had seemed, even taking into account the decrease in our speed. Finally the house was in view, the lights still on inside signifying that there was no one home – both of our parents were energy-saving Nazis and would have turned off any lights, probably muttering something about the purpose of the house being made almost entirely of glass for a reason. This didn't do anything to lift my spirits. The sooner they were home, the sooner they could convince the two idiots panting ahead of me that Bella needed to be handed over.

***

When we reached the bathroom, I sat Bella down on the toilet and Jasper draped a robe over her shoulders. She was back to being the wild woman, her head reeling around and her eyes jumping about the place as she tried to take her surroundings in. She tried to draw her knees up, but lost balance on the toilet lid. As Emmett and Jasper both tried to steady her, she slid backwards, making her first real noise - Bella screamed in sheer terror sending me flying forwards to catch her and calm her as she toppled off the toilet. "It's okay, it's okay!" I chanted, holding her head against my shoulder the way it had been as I walked with her. She tensed at first, then relaxed into me as Jasper and Emmett padded backwards towards the door. "We can't keep her," I told them, Bella whimpering into my shoulder. This was going to prove to be far too complicated at dangerous.

"I don't think she'll feel safe anywhere else," Jasper argued, and I was thankful that he didn't want to keep her for the same reasons that Emmett seemed to want to keep her. Emmett seemed to want to keep her on a hunch that she was some kind of supernatural being.

"She doesn't even feel safe with _us_," I retorted, placing her back on the toilet seat and reaching for the wet cloth Emmett had intended to clean her with.

"She seems fine with you," Emmett reminded me, and I silently wiped her face down. I didn't want her to feel safe with me. I wanted her to _be_ safe in a hospital or with police or with people who could find out where she came from, because it was obvious to everyone in the room that this girl wasn't quite... well, despite my distaste for Emmett's reasoning, she didn't seem quite _human_. There was nothing normal about this girl, who sprang up from nowhere, knowing nothing but pure instinct.

As if she could feel my hesitation, my unrelenting desire to have someone else take her off my hands, she reached up and halted my movements with the wet cloth. I looked at her, a silent question in my eyes, and then she smiled and pressed the cloth more firmly onto her skin. "She likes it," Emmett grinned, his voice thick with amazement. Jasper laughed softly and leaned against the bathtub, just watching. Even I couldn't resist smiling back at her. _Yeah, you're pretty adorable when you're not freaking out..._

"That nice?" I asked, pressing harder as I wiped more blood off her forehead. She kept smiling and for a moment I was pulled into her eyes the way I was pulled into the forest – I couldn't look away and I didn't even notice when Carlisle walked in and started asking questions.

"Who _is _she?" Carlisle demanded, having been ignored for quite some time as I just stared into those two big chestnut eyes and the guys just stared at my head.

"This is my Bella," I replied. "I found her."

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**So there we are, the first chapter is complete! Let me know what you think and please please please show Stripped by punkfarie some love and vote for her in the Indie Twific awards! Reviews are as sexy as Rob carrying you through the forest ;)**


	2. No Such Thing

**Hey guys! Thank you all so much for your reviews! Here is the second chapter... it went in a slightly different direction than originally planned but I like where it is now, and I've got a much clearer vision of where this is going now.**

**I just want to clarify that Bella IS NOT the fifth element, Emmett just thinks she is because he watches too many movies LOL. Please keep reading and please keep reviewing, because I really value your input. **

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The room steamed up around me as I stared at the walls. The sound of my foot rhythmically tapping in annoyance reverberated off the tiles, my scowl increasing by the second.

"I really do not see the point of this," I argued for the umpteenth time.

"She's getting _naked_, Edward!" Alice reiterated, as if that made all the fucking difference in the world. I let out a frustrated huff and pressed my forehead against the wall, hoping the cool stone would calm me down a little.

Alice had come bounding into Bella's life with a squeal and a hug – effectively scaring the crap out of her – just about an hour prior to this little exchange. She actually seemed _excited_ that we had found this unknown young woman. Maybe she felt like she could relate somehow – Alice _had_ been mute herself when Carlisle had adopted her. Emmett had been frightened of everything when _he'd_ been adopted. I had completely lacked in social skills when I'd been adopted. She was like all three of us put together.

"Alice, she was naked when I _found her_!" I growled through my teeth, my jaw locked tightly in frustration. She ignored me and kept doing whatever it was she was doing with Bella, who was completely silent and docile, probably just letting Alice position her like a marionette. She had taken quickly to all three of the girls, after an awkward moment where she'd gone into a defensive crouch and outright growled at them. I'd never seen anything like it. Esme, Alice and Rosalie rushed into the bathroom after they'd received phone-calls from their respective partners and Bella had leapt into that defensive position instantly, prompting them to halt and stay staring warily from the doorway.

Esme moved first, slowly raising her hands into the common pose of surrender and shuffled towards Bella, speaking in soothing tones. Surprisingly, Bella looked up at me as though for approval and I did the only thing I could think of at the time – I stepped forward and enveloped Esme in a hug, flashing Bella a reassuring grin when I moved back again. From then on (aside from the squeal/hug incident), she was happy to be with any one of them without the screeching that ensued when either Emmett or Jasper were left alone with her.

Finally, I heard the shower curtain being drawn shut and I turned around, now glaring at Alice.

"Oh relax, Edward, she's _fine_," Alice sighed, sitting down on the toilet lid and smiling serenely over at the shower as if she could actually see the girl in it. "Where do you think she came from?" she asked. I shrugged, hoping I might be able to have a definitive answer to that question soon. Carlisle would be able to find out exactly what had happened to Bella and where she had come from, and I was thanking my lucky stars every goddamn second that Jasper had managed to talk him into keeping her with us and away from authorities until we knew more about her. It had perplexed Carlisle that she had been covered in blood yet utterly unscathed and whatever Jasper had spoken to him and Esme about had them convinced that being with us was the best thing for her at this point. I hated to admit it, but I had to agree.

"I'm still not sure that this is a good idea." My head snapped around as Rosalie swept past me and sat against the wall, drawing one knee up to her chest and resting her chin on it. I cursed her silently both for fuelling the doubts I had about my Bella and for reminding me of her while she did it.

"But if she's-"

"Emmett, for the thousandth time she _is not_ the fifth element!" Rosalie cried, throwing her hands in the air and letting them fall to her sides with a loud slapping sound.

"You don't know that!"

"I'm sorry but it just doesn't make any sense at all. It's not logical and it's just not possible!"

I let those two argue and went over to check on Bella – I could hear little splashing noises but she was silent as ever and it made me curious. _What are you doing in there?_ I pushed the shower curtain back just enough that I could peer in slightly. She was crouched in the middle of the shower, up on the balls of her feet, her heels digging into her butt – the balance of the position almost amazed me as much as the way she was just gazing down at the water with innocent wonder. Her palms made the little splashing noises I'd heard as they patted the small film of water on the tiles beneath her.

"What are you doing?" I asked softly, causing her to look up at me. The pure glee in her eyes was nothing short of mind-blowing. Her entire face was lit up like she had just gotten a cute little puppy dog for Christmas. I laughed softly as she continued to pat the water, then moved on to tracing the tracks the drops made on the frosted glass. "That's water," I told her, eliciting yet another mind-blowing grin. "Yeah it's pretty cool," I chuckled, patting the floor right next to her. I hadn't thought it possible, but her grin grew wider. She patted twice, and then looked up at me expectantly. I patted right back, smiling at the absurdity of the little game we had going and not even caring that my hair was getting wet. She let out a happy little noise and patted twice more. I mimicked her actions again. She giggled this time, and it was the happiest sound that had ever graced my ears – it bubbled and chimed, like a breeze and a stream. Without thinking, I reached over and stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. She leaned into my touch for a fraction of a second, then took my hand and traced some patterns on the glass with it. "Water," I repeated, just before the curtain was drawn all the way open.

"Okay let's take a look." Carlisle wriggled his way into position next to me and took a good long sweeping look at Bella. "Still not a single sign of injury. No grazes, no cuts, no abrasions. You're sure she was covered in blood?" he inquired. I rolled my eyes.

"You saw it for yourself," I reminded him, and he sighed.

"I know... it just doesn't make any sense. She's not even showing any signs of internal injury. She's not in any pain... She likes you," he smiled as Bella growled when my hand retreated and she pulled it back to trace more water tracks.

"Yeah I think it's like a baby duck thing. I fed her first so she's attached or whatever."

"Don't you like her, Edward?" Carlisle's brow furrowed and he studied my face, watching for any sign of a lie when I answered him.

"I like her, sure. I'm just not entirely sold on us taking care of her. I don't know if we're the right people to do it." Carlisle seemed to weigh up his response carefully, his eyes boring into mine for some time before he spoke.

"Well if she _is_ like a baby duck and has grown attached to you then I don't think there is any other group more fitted to taking care of her. She likes the girls. She likes you. She seems comfortable enough with me," he reasoned, and I knew all of this was true, but I couldn't stop the nagging in the back of my mind.

"Emmett and Jasper..." I trailed off, shaking my head. If they were going to be a problem...

"I'm sure she'll grow to be comfortable with them as well." Carlisle patted me on the back before standing and retreating to his office, no doubt making notes and doing research, labelling the samples he'd taken with fake names and addresses so we could find out more about Bella and if she had anything wrong with her.

"She'll be okay," I sighed to no one in particular, shaking my head fondly as Bella continued to pat the floor and run our fingers along the wall, not washing at all and not paying any attention to the water falling into her eyes.

***

Night fell quickly and having Bella around began to prove itself both challenging and a little gross. I'm glad I wasn't present for the incident where she soiled the bathroom floor and had to have another shower – I was picking out some of Alice's pyjamas to give to Bella at the time – but Esme didn't even complain as she cleaned it up. Carlisle tried to explain toilet rules to her and about an hour later she proved her understanding by suddenly sprinting up two flights of stairs to the very same bathroom.

We spent the next hour discussing just how much we thought she could understand, and how to find out. Trial and error seemed to be the only reasonable method of teaching her anything considering the fact that she had no means of communication with us aside from grunts, growls and giggles. While we discussed her, she remained seemingly oblivious of the conversation, looking around and observing her surroundings at the same time as warily watching Emmett and Jasper. I didn't know what it was about them that made her uneasy, but Carlisle's theory was that her only experience with them had been in tense situations, so she wasn't confident about them. Rosalie watched her with the same wariness as she watched the boys, still unsure and still not sold on the idea of keeping her. She made her feelings clear several times during the discussion, expressing that she believed Bella would end up being a danger to us – we didn't know anything about her let alone what she was capable of. She made her sound like a spy who was refusing to talk rather than a lost girl who couldn't.

By the end of the discussion, Rosalie was a little less hesitant due to Jasper's gift of the gab – he could talk someone into believing the sky was red instead of blue. He convinced her that at this particular point in time, Bella was completely harmless and assured her that the minute she posed any real threat to us we would give her up. Beside me, I heard Bella's stomach rumble and the next thing I knew; she was searching my hand again. Esme, Carlisle and the girls watched in awe as Bella turned my hand about and even dove into my pockets. She pulled out my wallet and promptly proceeded to shove a dollar bill into her mouth.

"No!" I cried, lurching towards her and prying her mouth open to retrieve my dollar bill. She protested, leaning over and trying to pluck the money from my hand with a grunt and a scowl.

"No, Bella," Carlisle scolded firmly, crouching down in front of her and pointing a finger. She shrunk back into her seat looking defeated and pulled her knees up to her chest, hiding again. Straight away, Esme started organising dinner, putting everyone to work while I tried to salvage my dollar. A minute passed while I straightened it out and blew on it to dry it before I heard Bella sniffle. I looked over at her and my heart broke – she was crying silently in her robe, holding her stomach. The poor girl was starving. I reached over and pushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears.

"It's okay," I soothed, wiping her tears away. She tried to hide behind her knees. "It's coming soon. There's food coming really soon." I knew she couldn't understand me – or at least I suspected as much – but I continued to reassure her and wipe away her tears. She shifted her gaze to my wallet, her expression turning to longing and I couldn't help but chuckle. I pulled out the dollar and her eyes lit up at the site of it, her expression shifting to greed this time, and for a second I thought she was going to attack me. "This," I began, pointing at the dollar. "Is not," I shook my head. "Food," I rubbed my stomach. "Not food," I repeated, shaking my head and rubbing my stomach. "It's gross," I added, making a face at it. She giggled her bubbly giggle and I just shook my head. "You don't understand a word I'm saying," I sighed, and she just kept smiling at me, mimicking the face I'd made at the dollar bill and giggling again.

***

Dinner was served and Bella dove into her food with her hands after carefully watching me pop a spear of broccoli into my mouth. Carlisle was going to scold her again, but Esme urged him to just let it go this once – she had been ravenous by the time it came out and we would have time to teach her table manners in the future, it wasn't as essential as toilet training or explaining the different between edible and inedible. When she was finished, she lifted her plate, evidently searching for more food. She spotted a piece of chicken on Emmett's plate, and began growling at him.

"What is she growling at me for?" he asked incredulously, holding his hands up and backing up in his chair. Jasper broke into a grin.

"Are you scared of her?" His voice was dripping with amusement, and everyone else stifled their laughter.

"Baby I think she wants some of your dinner," Rosalie laughed, looking between then two of them and thankfully not feeling like Bella would do him any harm. Emmett pulled his plate closer to him, narrowing his eyes slightly and eliciting louder growl from Bella.

"No," Emmett protested. Bella leaned forwards. "No!" Her eyes darted to his food. "Mine!" he cried, pulling his plate even closer. "This. Is. Emmett's. Food."

"Just give her some of it, Em," I laughed, reaching over to pluck a baby carrot off his plate. He opened his mouth to argue but laughed instead when Bella took the carrot, munching on it and gurgling happily.

"I wish all women were this easy to please," he joked, nudging Rosalie. Alice launched a dinner roll at his head and an argument ensued. I wasn't paying much attention because I had offered Bella gummi bears again and was far too occupied by watching her eat but the basic gist of it was Alice screeching that the boys weren't allowed to teach her anything sexist and Emmett growling that Alice wasn't allowed to teach her to be a 'Regina George' or whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.

"You like those?" I asked Bella, who responded by holding a handful of gummi bears out to me. "Thanks," I smiled, taking a couple and popping them in my mouth. "Yellow are my favourite," I told her, fingering a yellow one. She fingered it as well, looking it over before eating it.

"Jasper agrees with me!" Emmett suddenly boomed, breaking us out of our little world as he rose from the table angrily. Bella let out a startled squeak, her eyes wide with fear. "_We _found her! _We_ wanted to keep her and _we_ have been taking care of her and will continue to do so! I _don't care_ what you feel you're entitled to! The only reason you're involved in this is because you live in this house too! She's _ours_!"

"She doesn't belong to anyone! She's her own person!"

"Alice..." Jasper pleaded, placing a hand on her arm in an attempt to calm her.

"No! He doesn't understand! There are things that he _can't_ teach her! There are things he couldn't even _begin _to understand-"

"Esme can take care of all that female stuff! _You_ are not getting your claws into her! You can dress her or something, but don't go putting ideas into her head!"

Everyone began yelling at once, myself included. Bella's head kept reeling around so that she could look at whoever was the loudest at any given point in time, until she let out a wail so loud we all stopped in our tracks. The argument had driven her to tears. She looked up at me pleadingly, but I didn't know how to make her feel better. I just stared back with the same pleading look in my eyes – pleading her to tell me how I could fix her; how I could stop her tears.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered, scooping her up and holding her close. She sniffled and buried her head into my shoulder. "I'm sorry..." she frowned and pointed an accusing finger at Emmett.

"What did _I_ do?"

"She doesn't understand you, she just hears that you're loud, Em," Esme told him sympathetically. He sighed and grumbled something about being tired. Rose followed him upstairs, glancing apologetically at all of us and cringing slightly as we all heard his door slam.

***

Bella bounced lightly on the couch, the springs rusty and squeaky underneath her. I sat opposite and Jasper sat beside her with Alice on the floor between his legs – he was playing with her new shortly cropped hair.

"I like it like this, Al," he was telling her, Bella's ever curious eyes on them. "It suits you. Though I'll definitely miss our braiding lessons." Alice pouted slightly, probably because she hadn't considered the loss of their lessons when making the decision to cut her previously waist-length hair.

"You braided her hair?" I asked mockingly, raising an eyebrow at Jasper. He rolled his eyes.

"I was bragging one day that I used to braid Rosalie's hair. Alice called my bluff. My punishment was learning how to braid for real... and it was kind of fun," he shrugged.

"Gay," was all I said in response, smirking.

"Hey you can braid Bella's hair!" Alice chirped, standing up to clear the way for her.

"I don't think she'll let me..." Jasper replied sceptically, looking over at Bella, who bounced a little more vigorously and grinned widely when he caught her eye. "Come on Bella," he coaxed, his tone as though he were calling a puppy over. "Come on and sit with Jasper..." he patted the space between his legs and Bella made her way over. She sat in the space facing him and he tried to get her to turn around. His attempts lasted five hilarious minutes as she kept twirling in a complete circle when he made spinning gestures with his hands. I finally caught her mid-spin and held her still when she was facing the right way and she just smiled as though we were playing a game of hide and seek and I'd just found her. "Fuck you're adorable..." Jasper cooed as he began braiding.

"Language," Esme scolded as her and Carlisle returned from setting up a bed for Bella. They eased onto the loveseat and watched with Alice and me in amusement as Jasper tried and failed to braid Bella's hair. She kept trying to turn her head and watch what he was doing, which frustrated both of them to the point where all that could be heard were annoyed grunts from Jasper and Bella and laughter from the rest of us. "Okay that's enough, Jasper," Esme chuckled, standing and indicating that it was time for bed.

I lead Bella up to her room and Alice met us there with some of her pyjamas. She insisted again that I turn around while she helped Bella change and I begrudgingly obliged, turning my attention to the crappy painting Carlisle had bought four years ago at some charity auction. _Such a waste of money, regardless of the cause... ugly piece of shit..._

"There we go! She's all yours, Edward!" Alice hugged Bella goodnight, who just stood stiffly and frowned in confusion as Alice left. I made my way over and pulled the blankets down for her, gesturing awkwardly.

"Uh... in you get!" I announced, knowing the accompanying smile would be unconvincing. Bella just looked at the bed, then at me, and then sat on the floor. "Bella..." I sighed, sidling up to her and running my hands over my face wearily. "Bella, I am so fucking tired.... I really want to sleep now and you need to sleep too and this is your bed and you don't understand a word I'm saying to you so just follow me, okay?" I hopped into the bed and patted the spot next to me, hoping to god or whoever was up there that she would just fucking.... get in. "Come on..." I urged gently and my prayers were answered – she jumped up and into the bed cheerfully, bouncing her legs before I stopped her and shushed her. I reached over and switched off the lamp, slipping out of the bed and turning to leave. She growled and yanked on my arm. "I'm too tired for this," I mumbled, pulling my arm away and pushing her back down onto the mattress. I got to the door before she spoke her first word.

"No!" she scolded, her voice holding the same tone as Emmett's had when she was going to take his food. She was actually trying to tell me off! I flipped the light switch and stared, open-mouthed at her.

"What did you say?" I breathed, edging closer. She smiled as I came towards her, and I realised she thought her plan was working even though she still didn't comprehend everything. I backed up and stepped out of the room.

"No!" she cried, her voice more desperate this time; her throat sounding tighter. I stepped inside again and saw that tears were welling up in her eyes. I wanted to test my theory once more, so I switched off the light and left, shutting the door but staying right behind it. "NO!" her scream was ear-splitting and I flung the door open just in time for her to crash into me, all tears and hysteria. Carlisle was by my side in an instant, worry and excitement battling for dominance on his face.

"Was that her?" he asked frantically.

"Who else could it have been?" I retorted, stroking Bella's hair as she wept into my neck.

"So she knows! She knows how to talk!"

"She knows one word, Carlisle."

"But that means she can be taught! She learned one word, she can be taught!" He sounded as though he'd just discovered Atlantis or some shit, he was that excited now. "Oh I have so much research to do... I have so much to teach her... of course she has to sleep now but tomorrow..." he took off in the direction of his office, talking to himself.

"Come on, Bella, back to bed..." I tried to steer Bella back into her room but she wouldn't let me. Stubborn as a mule, she planted her feet firmly on the ground and screeched in protest every time I tried to get her closer to the doorway. Eventually I took her hand and lead her to my room, sitting her down on the lounge. "Stay," I warned her, walking over to my bookshelf and picking out an old childhood storybook that I'd kept just to fill the last shelf. I began reading the works of Hans Christian Andersen to her and pointing out the pictures as I went along, she rested her head on my shoulder and watched blankly, the colours of the pages and my varying tones keeping her entertained. She was asleep within minutes, completely unaware that when she woke she would begin a series of lessons that would change her forever. I found myself hoping she didn't change too much – the world looked different and more fascinating through her eyes. Everything took on a new light and a fresh perspective. It was both liberating and frightening to think that she could have such an effect on me in less than twenty-four hours, but I wouldn't change it. Not for anything. "Goodnight, my Bella..." _Tomorrow is going to be very interesting..._

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_**Okay so again I'm going to urge you guys to check out punkfarie's fic Stripped and also vote for her in the Indie Twific awards. If you're looking for some other goodness I highly recommend The Blessing And The Curse, which is also nominated in the Indie Twific awards!**

**Love to you all! You're all awesome!  
**


	3. Unwritten

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry about the lateness! I've just taken on a second job so I'm still getting used to my schedule and whatnot... anyhow here is Chapter 3! It's a little short but I have another on in me that I can get out in the next couple of days so it'll be a 2-bie this week! Hooray!**

**Thanks so much for all your support! Keep reading and reviewing, I love you all!**

**And please please keep reading Stripped by punkfarie, because its awesome!  
**

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Sunlight poured in through the window and I groaned, turning over and pulling the blanket over my head. Still groggy, I struggled to remember why my extra pillow was missing, as it would have served well blocking out the noise from downstairs. Slowly, the events of the previous day flitted back into my consciousness and I shot out of bed, whirling around only to find that Bella was missing from my couch. "Fuck!" I cursed, shooting a glance at my clock as I sped downstairs. It was nearly ten, and she'd been awake for god only knows how long. Where was she? Was she afraid? Was she hungry? A myriad of other questions flowed uneasily through my mind before I collided with something that made a gruff grunting noise and held me by the shoulders. "Carlisle..." I rasped out, trying to find the right excuse to give him if Bella was missing but he was just smiling at me knowingly. I sighed with relief, and felt a chill on my still-bare chest.

"She woke up at six. I was in my office and she found me. We had some lessons and now she's with Emmett watching TV," he explained and I nodded, sighing again, letting warm relief spread throughout my entire body. She was okay.

"Edward! You'll catch a death, go get dressed!" Esme chided, ushering me back towards the staircase.

"But-"

"Bella is _fine_," she insisted. "Alice and I are making everyone breakfast. It'll be ready in five."

I begrudgingly went back to my room and threw on whatever I could find before rushing back down only to have Carlisle stop me again.

"Sit," he commanded, and I obeyed, taking a seat at the breakfast bar. "She's learning so fast," he whispered hurriedly. "I'm not sure if she's just imitating words she hears but we'll find out soon enough. She knows 'yes' as well now and she's learning to identify each of us by name but she doesn't speak them yet," he continued, his voice full of reverie. "'No' is her favourite, I suppose because she's heard it so much from us. But I dashed to the hospital to look at her blood work when Emmett woke up and she's perfectly healthy, Edward! She's just perfect. Nothing at all wrong with her, and we have no idea who she is or why she was in the forest..." he trailed off with a sigh and a shake of his head. "We need to find these things out before we do anything else, understand?" I nodded. "She stays with us and we assimilate her and teach her until she can perhaps explain something."

"What if she can't?" I asked, and Carlisle pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously knowing already that this was a huge possibility.

"I don't know," he admitted, and we both looked over to the living room. For the first time that day, I saw her. She was curled up to Emmett, her small frame tucked nicely against his large one. "I don't understand why she changed her opinion of him so quickly," he chuckled, "but Emmett is rather enjoying her company." I looked over at the television screen and rolled my eyes. They were watching The Fifth Element, and Emmett was talking away, probably explaining why he wanted to call her Leeloo.

"Can I...?" I asked, gesturing towards them. Carlisle wordlessly stepped back and I hopped down from my stool and made my way over. Bella's hair was all I could really see of her besides her little hands, in which she clutched several pieces of paper. She held one out to Emmett; I couldn't see what was on it. He sighed and shook his head.

"No," he told her and she huffed, tapping the paper impatiently. "Not here," he told her, making some ridiculous gesture with his hands that no person could ever interpret as 'not here'. I heard Carlisle chuckle softly from close behind me. She pointed at the screen as there was a close-up of Leeloo and made an attempt to talk, but it was wordless garble. It was adorable. "Yeah, that's Leeloo!" Emmett praised, ruffling her hair like she was a baby or something. "She's like Bella. Bella and Leeloo are the same!"

"Don't tell her that," I said, frowning at Emmett's head. They both turned around and I didn't get time to register Emmett's reaction properly because Bella's face did the puppy at Christmas-time thing again and she squeaked happily, shoving the crumpled piece of paper in Emmett's face. It was a photo of me.

"Yeah, it's Edward," he replied with a roll of his eyes. "She's been asking for you all morning." But Bella was already flying into my chest, her arms wrapping around my waist, the photos forgotten. I held her to me – one hand on her waist, the other in her hair – and laughed softly as she squeezed me a little too enthusiastically.

"Okay, ouch..." I pushed her away gently and she beamed up at me, rushing to gather her photos and showing me the crumpled one. "Edward," I pointed at the photo. "Edward," I repeated, pointing at myself. She showed me Carlisle's photo and pointed at him. "Yes – it's Carlisle." Emmett was next. "Yes – it's Emmett." She pointed at Leeloo on the TV screen then at herself. Emmett roared with laughter and I scowled at him. "No," I told her. "Leeloo is not Bella and Bella is not Leeloo." Before I could explain more, we were called to breakfast.

***

"Bella would you like some eggs?" Carlisle asked, all of us seated at the table – Bella with her knees pulled up as usual.

"No!" she replied happily. Carlisle pulled her plate away. "No!" she protested, reaching for the plate.

"Would you like some eggs?" he repeated slowly. Bella considered him for a moment, her eyes darting between the plate of eggs and his eyes. She was looking a little mutinous for a second, probably thinking about snatching the eggs and scarfing them down before Carlisle could do anything. I'd be the same if someone were trying to take away my breakfast.

"Yes!" she replied this time, in the same tone her first 'no' had been. Carlisle slid the plate forward as Bella murmured "Yes, no, yes, no," her face smiling with every 'yes' and frowning with every 'no'. Esme smiled fondly at her.

"She's so _cute_!" Alice cried, forgetting her own breakfast as Bella continued her little murmurs.

"She's awesome," Emmett agreed, his mouth full of food. "I just want to hug her all the time!"

Bella tried to dig into her omelette with her hands but Carlisle stopped her, pulling the plate away again. "Bella..." he warned when she growled at him.

"No," she muttered, clearly not happy with the food-stealing situation.

"Show her how you do it, Edward," he instructed and I tapped Bella on the shoulder.

"Like this, see?" I held up my fork for her to see, dipped it into my omelette and ate off it. Hesitantly, she held her fork the wrong way as Carlisle replaced her plate. I positioned her hand properly, dipped, and then moved it up to her mouth. She greedily accepted the food, but bit down on the fork. I tried to gently remove it and she seemed to understand because she let me. Then I moved my hand from hers. "Bella's turn," I announced, nodding encouragingly when she looked confused. "Go on..." She was still shaky with her fork by the end of the meal, but it was progress so no one really cared how long it took her to eat.

***

The rest of the day proved that Bella was simply an eating and hugging machine. Carlisle and Esme both had to work late so lunch was simple. She really loved the sandwiches we had, probably because she could eat with her hands. She had four PB&J sandwiches, and then proceeded to eat peanut butter out of the jar with me while we watched TV. By the end of the jar, she was a pro with the spoon. Her reward was gummi bears.

Bath-time was different. She was actually afraid of the bubble-bath that Rosalie drew for her, and screamed like a maniac when being encouraged to step in. We all gathered in the bathroom again and argued while Bella stood there in a robe shivering with cold. I argued that we should just turn on the goddamn shower and forget the bath – Jasper and Alice agreed with me. But the others thought that there was no better time to get her over her fears than right now, while she was still learning things. "Besides," Emmett argued. "I _know_ she's gonna love the bubbles once she's in there."

"She's been learning well by example...?" Rosalie suggested, looking at Alice.

"Why are you looking at me? I'm not the one who wants her in the bath!" she squawked, backing up as though Rosalie were about to tackle her, strip her down and throw her in the bath.

"Well _I'm_ not doing it! She kinda creeps me out."

"Babe, she's harmless!"

"She's already staring at me!"

"Christ!" I interrupted. "Everybody out, I'm doing it." Every set of eyes was on me and there were three jaws on the floor. "Seriously, I just want to prove that she's going to be scared either way and this seems to be the quickest way of getting her in the fucking shower so everyone out unless you all want to see my dick." Without further warning, I took off my shirt and the others scurried out, closing the door behind them. "Okay Bella, turn around," I said softly, making a turning motion with my hand. She did an adorable little twirl and giggled. I sighed and physically turned her until she faced the wall. "Stay." She huffed a little but we both knew she understood that word so she didn't move at all. I stripped down and headed over to the bath, tentatively stepping in before realising that she'd need to watch in order to really _get it_. "Fuck," I breathed, before saying her name. She turned around and was confused to see me standing there covering my dick with my hands. She aped the position, standing opposite me with her hands covering between her legs even though she had a robe on. "Uh, Bella you've gotta... the robe has to... you need to take..." I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that she'd have to see me completely naked in order for this to work. _Why did I put myself in this position?_ With a deep breath, I uncovered myself and pretended not to feel her curious eyes on me as I headed over and disrobed her. "Okay, like this," I said, showing her how to get into the bath. She watched carefully as I lifted one leg in, then the other. I halted there, even though I just wanted to lower myself the fuck into the water fully so she couldn't see me, but I had to be ready to help her in properly. Instead of following, she pointed at my dick, then at her..._dear god_... "Yes, it's different," I mumbled hurriedly. "Come on..." she pointed at my chest, then at her breasts. "Different," I repeated. "Come _on_, Bella," I urged. She frowned but followed, using my hands as support to lift herself into the bath.

When we were both sitting, she discovered the joys of bubbles and I was once again awed by how amazing everything was through her eyes. The hot and cold taps for the bath were amazing, the bubbles were amazing, the way my hair flattened when it was wet was amazing, when the bubbles were gone the water was amazing, my dick was amazing – she even tried to poke it and was met with a firm 'no'. If she could ask why it was different, I bet she would have. She also learned that hugging while naked was a big fat 'no' as well.

***

Bed time came with haste and we were both sleepy having consumed massive amounts of pizza, ice-cream and more gummi bears. We were sloshy, slovenly and perfectly content to retire to my bedroom, where she fell asleep as I read her more fairytales.

In the morning, I woke to find a rather happy face right in front of mine. I don't know how long she'd been sitting beside my bed grinning, but I didn't really care because she was happy to do it. When she saw I was awake, she giggled with all her bubbles and chimes and shoved my photo in my face like she always did when I came back to her from going somewhere. "Morning, Bella," I laughed, lifting her off the ground and into my bed. She snuggled up to me, making her little gurgling noise that meant she was happy, and we read some more. She fell asleep on my chest, snoring softly and I placed the book down on at my other side. She looked as innocent as ever in sleep, her little lips slightly puffed out into a pout, her head bobbing up and down as I breathed, her wild hair seemingly tame as it fanned out around her. Carlisle had found nothing more in the other tests he'd done – she was officially perfectly healthy – she just had some learning to do. I couldn't help but wonder, as I stared down at her, why she'd been thrust into our lives like this. What was she here to teach us? I'm not a religious guy, but I do believe things happen for a reason. What would her presence mean to us? There was still so much left unanswered.


	4. Gravity

**HALLELUJAH! We're back! **

**Here is your fourth chapter, my loves. **

**Thanks so much for the reviews and such, I'll have another chapter in a few days!**

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Bella's legs swung quietly as she peered curiously around the office, ignoring the argument occurring in the meantime. It wasn't as though she couldn't understand that we were arguing, she seemed to simply be used to it – we'd argued so much since she'd come along. I didn't resent her. I didn't even blame her. It was nothing to do with _her_, even though it was _always_ about her. It was to do with how the rest of us respond to her existence. Bella was perfect... sure, a little frustrating, but a truly perfect person is someone that you can love unconditionally despite their inevitable flaws... because nobody is really _perfect_ or whatever.

I watched her eyes drift from wall to wall; those deep pools of chocolate forever filled with wonder, and let myself drift away with her. I wondered what was going on inside her head; what she thought of the things she lingered on, what she thought of everything else, when the novelty would wear off, when she would finally understand the things she stared at with such awe and amazement.

"Are you even listening to me?!" Carlisle boomed. I was yanked away from Bella's world and back into 'reality' or whatever you want to call it. It's not as if she was in a different world than us, she just had a different point of view – our realities were one and the same but from very starkly contrasted perspectives.

"Yes, Carlisle," I droned. I didn't even know why we were 'discussing' this matter. Anyone from the outside would think that I'd made out with Bella naked in our bed. Words like 'inappropriate' and 'wildly misguided' were being thrown around and really the only words I could think of to explain the bath situation were 'stupid' and 'unthinking'. Okay, so I could have kept my boxers on... was I thinking about that at the time? No. I was thinking about the best way to get Bella clean and to teach her how to have a bath if she got over her fear. I was thinking that getting naked is all part and parcel of the entire bathing experience. I was thinking, as was mentioned at the time, that she learns by example. That meant getting naked.

Carlisle leaned back, looking slightly satisfied with himself after his tirade and that smug smirk on his face along with the exasperated look he'd shared with Jasper just made me wanna ruffle my fucking feathers a little. "Look," I started, leaning forward and gaining Bella's attention as my baggie of gummi bears was exposed. I wordlessly handed them over, not losing eye contact with Carlisle. "I got her into the bath with no screaming, no fear, and no tantrums. In hindsight, I could have kept my underwear on," I admitted, holding my palms out in surrender. "But what I really don't get is why the fact that I was naked is such a big deal. She doesn't know what naked _means_. She has no-"

"That's the point, dude," Jasper interrupted, making me want to strangle him. Of course he was siding with Carlisle, the father he always wanted. "She's not gonna learn basic social skills if we don't teach her early."

"Babies have baths with their parents," Alice suggested, not really siding anyone. Alice didn't like conflict and she didn't like it when anyone was being ganged up on. God bless her little heart. She just wanted both sides to have a fair go. I glanced up at her gratefully.

"It isn't the same, dear," Esme replied sympathetically, knowing what Alice was trying to do but obviously feeling that Carlisle and the prodigal son were right. It was all a great travesty and I should be burned at the stake for trying to help my Bella in the only way I knew how at the time. Carlisle decided to elaborate further on Esme's point.

"Bella's progress isn't normal. When she came to us she knew nothing about anything. She's progressed so fast mentally that I almost want to take her to..." he trailed off there, taking a deep breath and I could just tell he wasn't going to let himself get sidetracked again. "She isn't like a baby. She's a fully grown woman with a mind that in a matter of many hours has been through many months of development. We don't know who she'll be tomorrow; how far she'll have come – "

"What we know, Al, is that we need to teach her as much as possible now... while she's still a sponge," Jasper cut in, curing her of her confused look.

"So she's just absorbing everything?" Emmett asked, his eyes trained carefully on Bella who was still swinging her legs and chewing on gummi bears. I looked down at the bag, thinking it would surely be near empty now. It wasn't. She seemed to be sifting through them to pick out all of the red and orange ones. I smiled at her and she thrust a yellow one at me before going back to sorting.

"Yes. If she's going to learn anything with ease it will be now and I don't know exactly how fast she's developing so I can't tell you when it'll become more difficult for her. In short, we can't make exceptions for her anymore," Carlisle looked around the room; lingering longest on Esme and I. Apparently he thought we were being too soft on her. I rolled my eyes.

"So we're just going to make her cry and scream and be unhappy and scared? Fuck that."

"It's not your choice."

"The hell it isn't. I found her.

"We all did. I'm with Carlisle."

"I'm with Edward on this," Emmett said, moving to stand next to me in a display of solidarity. "I don't want to make her unhappy, and I think dad is a little too harsh on her. I just want her to be happy and safe."

"Em, she needs to be able to fit in one day," Rosalie argued, staying in her spot near the wall. I was glad she did.

"Well sure," he agreed. "Of course she does but she's not going to make any progress at all if she doesn't trust us. Can't we just go good cop bad cop on this sucker?" he asked. Carlisle's mouth twitched a little as the rest of us suppressed laughter at his painfully serious expression as he spoke.

"Edward, you're not going to do anything like that again are you?" Esme asked.

"I'll definitely think my decisions over a little more thoroughly," I nodded, not looking at anyone but her. I didn't want to see Carlisle's smug expression mirrored on Jasper's face or I might just break something. My jaw was so tight it actually hurt.

"Well then we can all agree that the best thing for Bella is to teach her as much as possible, without being too harsh, unless it isn't appropriate," Alice chirped with a definitive nod. We all murmured our agreements and dispersed. I tried not to notice that Carlisle kept Jasper back to 'have a word'.

***

"..., then _you_ say 'Leeloo Dallas multipass', okay?"

"Emmett!"

"What?!"

"I can hear you teaching her Leeloo's lines!"

It was silent for a moment, then bubbles and chimes filled my ears and I knew Emmett was mocking me in the other room. Ordinarily, I'd go in there and kick his ass for it but if it made Bella that happy I didn't really mind that much.

Okay, I minded. I just didn't want her to see me kick his ass. She'd cry and be scared of me and I never wanted her to look at me with fear. I was the only one that she trusted implicitly – the others she trusted to a degree but she was still always on her guard with them. She didn't need a shield with me. She was just Bella. I didn't want that to ever change.

It had been a couple of weeks and we were starting to doubt Carlisle's original thoughts about Bella's development. She'd learned a whole host of new social skills, but as far as speaking was concerned, she'd gone backwards. Sure, she could understand more than fifty percent of what we said to her now, but she never replied to us verbally. Ever. It had been two days after the bath incident that I'd last heard her speak. She'd said yes happily when Alice had held out a blue sweater to her. Come to think of it, she was wearing that same sweater today.

"Bella!" I called, a crease appearing forming on my forehead as I concentrated on cutting her sandwich the right way. I jumped when I felt a cold little hand on my arm. "You scared me." She gave me the look that I understood to be an apology. I didn't vocalise that I forgave her – partly because we all agreed that we would encourage her speaking with discouragement for silence and partly because I _always_ forgave her. She hugged me tightly before taking her sandwich and Emmett's to the lounge. I followed with my own. When I approached, she stood up, gesturing for me to sit in her place. I hesitated, but sat down and she promptly sat on the floor below me, leaning her head on my knee happily. She patted Emmett's knee between sandwich quarters. She was such an affectionate girl, always giving us hugs and little touches. She was eternally happy, bubbly and bouncy, lighting the dreary house up with her smiles and giggles. "You wanna play Mario Kart?" I asked her when we were done. She nodded happily, then frowned and dashed upstairs.

"Potty break," Emmett chuckled.

Just then, Esme arrived home early. "Baby shower was interrupted by the baby arriving early," she explained, seeing our curious expressions. "Where's Bella?"

"Bathroom."

"Ah. Any words yet?"

"Nothing," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I had a theory about why she wasn't talking, but I hesitated over mentioning it. It would sound both completely stupid and completely conceited, but it might make sense. Carlisle would at least consider it if Esme mentioned it to him. "I think she knows I'm leaving soon," I confessed. "That's why she's not talking. Maybe she thinks if she doesn't talk I'll have to stay and take care of her."

Esme kicked her shoes off and joined us on the lounge, putting her arms around the both of us and looking thoughtful. "Perhaps..." she mused. "Perhaps that's part of it." She was obviously being polite.

"Oh come on she's not _that_ switched on," Emmett argued.

"Yes she is," Esme countered. "She's very switched on. I think she stopped talking because she finally began to understand what we were saying and she didn't have the confidence to verbalise her thoughts. Then I think she continued to be silent because of Edward's pending absence," she acknowledged my idea with a smile and a nod. "But now..." she sighed and shrugged. "Now it's something different."

"You spoke to Carlisle about it already?" I asked, surprised she was speaking as though she'd already discussed my idea. A week earlier, I'd decided to attend a summer course in small business management to help at Emmett's bar. I couldn't afford to leave town for college now that Bella was sith us but I wasn't allowed to sit at home and be a bum. Emmett and Rosalie offered me a job if I could gain the right qualifications before it opened. Carlisle ignored the age factor and Emmett assured me he'd find a way around it all – meaning Rosalie would be looking for loopholes in legislation during her free time. The point, anyway, is that I was going to be away from Bella for a time while I studied.

All heads snapped upwards as a gut-wrenching scream echoed throughout the house. Esme was first up the stairs and into the bathroom, shocking us guys as she took a single glance and Bella and slammed the door in our faces.

"It's always the bathroom," Emmett muttered to himself, looking more pained than I'd ever seen him as he slid to the floor and prepared to wait. It was true, there often seemed to be drama with Bella in the bathroom. She was still getting used to her body.

We could hear Esme's soothing but couldn't make out any actual words, Bella's sobs only adding to our anxiety. We heard Esme on her cell and we shared a panicked look. Before long, Rosalie was sweeping past us, a paper bag in her hand. Our faces were met by the door again. I huffed and joined Emmett on the floor. Alice dropped Jasper with us as she too disappeared behind the door with Carlisle.

About ten seconds before my head imploded, Bella came flying out and into my chest. I held her close, overcome with relief. "You're okay, my Bella. You're okay now. You're alright," I assured her, even though I had no fucking clue what had been wrong. All I knew was that she could move and breathe, and that her heart was beating against my stomach. That was all that mattered.

"Well," Carlisle began, looking flustered and a little... awkward? "Bella, uh... she got her first, er... period," he mumbled, actually fucking blushing. Bella obviously now knew what this meant because she buried her head further into me in embarrassment.

"It's okay," I whispered, nodding to Carlisle. Like I said, she didn't know her body yet. It was kinda gross, sure, but she was already mortified. No need to make it worse.

"Hey, this is cause for celebration!" Jasper cried suddenly, breaking the awkward silence. Bella peered at him through her hair. He pushed her hair behind her ear and held his fist up for her. "Congratulations!" She shyly bumped his fist with her own but didn't let go of me. The girls tittered nervously.

"Alright, Bella!" Emmett laughed, joining in as usual and slapping her a high-five.

"Welcome to womanhood, sweetheart," Esme grinned, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah, you're one of us now," Alice winked.

"She was always one of us," Rosalie added with a small smile.


	5. Clair De Lune

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**Enjoy chapter 5! There's something a little different about this one ;)  
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The sounds were soothing. They filled the house. I followed them down the stairs. I was going slowly but I didn't know why. There was something about the sounds that were so... fragile? Yes, I think that's the right word. They were like the waves I saw on the TV. Waves on the beach with the moon. It was in the sky and in the water. Just like the stars. Everything sparkled when the moon came out. The sounds sparkled like the moonlight.

I walked slowly towards the sparkling sounds and as I did, I noticed that everyone in the house was going about their business. Couldn't they hear it? Why weren't they drawn to it like I was? I kept walking and when I found my sparkling sounds, I sat and listened and watched them being made.

Edward's fingers were gently touching small rectangles of black and white. The rectangles were making the sounds. I put my chin on my knees and smiled. Edward's eyes were closed. He couldn't see me. I looked around and wondered when everyone else was going to join me. It wasn't possible to ignore the beauty of this big wooden sound-making thing, and even more impossible to ignore the way Edward's fingers glided over the rectangles to make those beautiful sounds.

Beautiful.

It was a word I had heard so often; a word that Carlisle had tried to explain to me so many times. I never understood until now. It was something that made your breath stop in your throat – something that made your heart feel like it was filling up with something warm... Something that made goose-pimples stand up on your arms even though you don't feel the cold. I closed my eyes like Edward. Beautiful, sparkling noises were all around me.

I looked around again. No one else was coming. No one else was going to hear it the way we could. It made me sad for them. My eyes filled. I blinked until they went away and closed my eyes again. I listened to the waves. I listened to the stars. I listened to the moon. I listened to the beauty of it all.

I opened my eyes again when I heard a quiet thud. Edward had closed the lid on the machine – I couldn't see the rectangles anymore. I smiled at him and pointed at the machine. He smiled back. His smile was nice. It was bigger on one side and it meant he was happy. The light from outside made his hair look bright and his eyes look greener than they normally were. He shook his head but kept smiling – he was going to play a game with me. I smiled bigger for him.

"I'll play the piano again if you ask me to," he said. He held his hand out and I used it to stand. I kept holding it and took him over. I pushed him onto the chair. He shook his head and dug his fingers into my sides. It tickled and I laughed. "Only if you ask, Bella." I frowned at him, forcing my eyebrows together and pushing out my lips. He seemed to think it was funny. I didn't think it was funny. "I know you can talk, you've done it before," he told me. I frowned harder. I didn't _want_ to talk. I didn't know how. I could understand words when everyone spoke, but I couldn't do it. I tried, I really did. I tried in the shower every night. Small words were easy. The bigger words were difficult. No matter what I did those big words wouldn't come out right. I couldn't even say my own name without a struggle.

Emmett called me Leeloo when no one else could hear him and I could see why. She had trouble with words. She didn't know who she was or where she came from. Just like me.

I shook my head. I can't talk. I won't. Not until I know what I'm doing. "Then no piano," Edward shrugged, getting up and walking away. He had that look in his eyes that he got a lot lately when I wouldn't talk for him. It wasn't a look that I'd seen in anyone before, but I knew that it was a bad look. It wasn't that it was hurt or angry or sad... it was all of them at once. I didn't like it. It made my heart hurt to see him like that so I took a deep breath and tried to call him back. It didn't sound anything like his name. I closed my mouth quickly when he turned around. "What did you say?" he asked. I pulled my knees up – my face felt hot. "Bella, say that again," he urged, coming back to me. I didn't want him to. I wanted him to go away and leave me alone. I shut my mouth tighter and shook my head, hiding behind my hair. "Please, Bella..." his voice was quiet. I looked up at him and his eyes were doing that begging thing. I couldn't say no to him. I took a deep breath again.

**EPOV**

"E- waht."

As soon as she'd done as I asked, Bella went back into hiding behind her knees. I reached over and lifted her chin gently with my finger.

"Watch me. Watch my lips," I instructed. I said my name slowly, emphasizing the shapes my mouth made with each sound.

"Ehhht-wahhht," she tried again, blushing further when it still didn't come out quite right. I smiled encouragingly, telling her how well she was doing. I couldn't deny that I was completely thrilled that the first thing she tried to say was my name. I felt a strange kind of bond with her and I took her constant attention as confirmation that she felt it too. It was like she belonged to me, and I had to protect her. I hated to admit it, but it was a bit like Corbin and Leeloo... only I didn't want to bang her.

"You're doing so much better already," I smiled, sitting beside her on the piano stool. I played another song for her and she leaned her head on my shoulder, watching with that ever-wondrous stare of hers. "This is a piano," I explained as she trailed her fingers over a few of the keys. I explained music, playing examples of every kind that I could. She giggled and applauded, and then I helped her play Mary Had A Little Lamb. She was so proud of herself that she pushed me off the stool so she could make a show of it. She looked so goddamn adorable with her hands in the air at the end of the song - huge proud grin lighting up her face.

The rest of the day was spent with Bella in her lessons with Carlisle. He was teaching her to read, and trying to get her to talk again. I didn't tell anyone that she'd spoken to me that day – it was something special between us that I didn't want to share with anyone. I knew Carlisle could probably help her more than I could but she trusted me more than anyone else and even if I didn't quite know it myself, there _was_ a reason why she wasn't talking. I trusted her reasoning just like she trusted my silence.

***

"Now sweetheart are you sure there isn't anything I can get you?"

Esme was sitting on the edge of Bella's new bed. Bella had insisted on having her own for some reason. Apparently she was learning independence as quickly as she was learning everything else. She was insisting on doing things by herself a hell of a lot more since her lessons with Carlisle began to include more complex subjects. The day he taught her about sex – Esme didn't approve – she started wanting to lock the door when she showered. And it was funny as fuck when she left his office that day. I was waiting for her outside the door and her gaze fell straight to my crotch, her mouth forming a little 'O' of realisation.

"You're sure now?" Esme wasn't too confident about leaving Bella alone at night, so far away from anyone. I tried to assure her that both Emmett and I were only down the hall and Alice was only one flight of stairs down, but she was still stressing out. Bella only smiled up and her and reached up from under her blankets, like a kid looking for a hug. Esme hugged her tight and kissed her on the top of her head. "Okay baby, goodnight. Remember just call out if you need me." Bella nodded and grinned, snuggling down into her blankets. Esme brushed past me, letting me have the last goodnight.

I shuffled across the room and knelt beside the bed. She turned on her side so our faces were only a couple of inches apart. I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead, just because.

"I'm two doors down," I whispered. She nodded. "Emmett is across from me." I didn't know why I was telling her all this; she already knew where we were. I guess I was really telling myself that I wasn't going to be too far from her. The wind blew the curtains apart a little and the moon bathed her skin in a soft glow. She looked beautiful and trusting, all wide eyes gazing up at me, hair fanned out all over the pillow. "Beautiful," I murmured, stroking her cheek. She lifted a hand and stroked my cheek back.

"Eht-waht booti...full," she whispered. It was a simple compliment, but my heart melted right there on the floor. If any other girl in the entire world had called me beautiful, I'd laugh in her face. I mean seriously, beautiful is not the kind of word you use to describe a guy. But with Bella...

She could call me beautiful, she could call me cute, she could call me _pretty_ if she wanted to. As long as she was happy with me, I would continue to melt into a puddle of beautiful, cute, pretty goo right at her feet.

"Goodnight, my Bella," I whispered, when I found my voice again.

"Night, Eht-Waht," she whispered back.

***

It was three in the morning when I heard her sneak in. I know this because I heard her going into Emmett's room first, and I checked the time. It kind of bothered me that she went there first but I suppose for the sheer size of him he'd be the one I picked to shield me from whatever monsters Bella was afraid of.

But anyway.

Thank god he's a heavy sleeper.

She padded softly across the room for god only knows whatever reason because she was about to try and wake me up anyway and sooner than I thought, I felt her little fingers prodding me softly. I pretended to be deep in slumber, just to fuck with her a little bit. I heard her let out that cute little huff she made whenever she was annoyed and god bless her little soul if she just climbed on it, gently rolling me over to make room. I opened my eyes and chuckled at her, pulling her into a bear hug but soon realised that my chest was a little sticky or.... something. I pulled back and held her at arm's length, switching on the lamp. She was bleeding from her lip and crying. I scooped her up and rushed her to the bathroom, pressing a damp cloth to the wound.

"What happened?" I asked, my hands running through her hair, hoping it was soothing her. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she muttered something I didn't really understand except for 'door'. "You ran into the door?" I pressed. She nodded and after a few more uneasy questions and answers it was established that she heard something outside the window that scared her, so she went to run into Emmett's room so he could kill it but she ran into the door on the way. It didn't hurt and she was too scared to go back to bed.

So we tip-toed downstairs and into the kitchen. Still bleary-eyed, Bella lifted herself onto the counter while I made us some hot cocoa. We took our mugs to the couch and curled up together. We didn't really do anything at all. We just sat together, her head resting on my shoulder while we sipped quietly, enjoying our drinks in a comfortable silence. It reminded me of something Esme once told me; she said that the best friend that you can have is someone that you can do anything and nothing with, and still have the greatest time. I thought that I'd understood that kind of friendship with Jasper, but the truth was that when we had nothing to do we were both bored as fuck, and we entertained ourselves with trying to think of things to do. With Bella, I was never bored. I didn't need to find anything to do. I would have been happy to stay there forever, with our steaming mugs of cocoa, staring out the window and watching the sunrise and the blanket draped over our shoulders.


	6. Sweet Child O'Mine

**Hey everyone!**

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**A special thanks to punkfarie for her help in deciding exactly where to go with some of this. 333 **

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**This is the last chapter before Edward leaves for his course. From here on in Bella's going to have to survive without him.  
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"Sweetheart..."

Esme's voice brought me out of sleep and I was quick to notice that I wasn't in my room and my neck was stiff. I also had something attached to me. With a deep yawn, I remembered that I was in the living room with Bella. She was still sleeping on my shoulder.

"She didn't make it?" It was more of a statement than a question, and Esme looked both concerned and relieved at the same time. I shook my head, gently easing Bella down and covering her with a blanket as I stood to stretch.

"A noise scared her."

"Why is there a cut on her lip?"

"She panicked and ran into a door." Esme looked shocked at first, and then burst into light giggles. She led me out into the kitchen, her arm around my waist, and hugged me gently before making a pot of coffee. I could hear Carlisle rifling around in the pantry and I called a good morning over to him. His cheery face appeared as he shut the door and he patted my shoulder before moving to stand beside Esme, a box of Cap'n Crunch in his other hand.

"Bella panicked and ran into a door last night, honey," Esme informed him, evidently still amused by it. Carlisle didn't share this amusement.

"She ran into a door?" he frowned, pouring milk over his cereal.

"Yeah she heard something that scared her and she went to run and get Emmett to kill it or something, but she ran into a door."

"She told you this?"

"As much as Bella ever tells us anything, yes," I lied. She told me a lot more than she ever told anyone else, but that was our little secret. I leaned over and peered around the corner at her, still sleeping peacefully on the lounge. After a second my view was disturbed by Rosalie and Emmett making their way into the kitchen for breakfast. "Do you live here now?" I asked Rose – a response to her glare in Bella's direction.

"If _she_ gets to live here, so do I," she retorted.

"Bella doesn't have anywhere else to go, babe," Emmett argued, rolling his eyes and biting into an apple. I wondered why she bothered to come here if all she was going to do was complain about my Bella. Secretly, I think she resented the fact that it had taken all of us a while to warm up to her when Emmett introduced her, and we all so willingly embraced Bella – the difference between the situations mainly being that Rosalie is a bitch and Bella is the sweetest most innocent person in existence. She muttered something about a vet and Jasper caught my hand before I could throw my bagel at her.

"Dr. Cullen, am I coming with you today?" he asked, not having bothered to knock at the door or anything. Carlisle nodded, smiling warmly at him. "Awesome, what are we doing?"

"You know I don't discuss my work at home, Jasper," Carlisle replied and Jasper's face morphed so quickly to one of complete seriousness that I almost laughed. Almost. This rule of Carlisle's was obviously new – he'd never had too much of a problem discussing certain aspects of his work with us. It made me curious. "I'll explain everything with you in my office, where I can show you all of the reports we'll be doing further research on."

"Right, sounds good," Jasper nodded, taking a seat next to me. "Where's Alice?"

"Probably buffing off a layer of skin," I smirked. Jasper chuckled next to me.

"Dude, she really does that!"

"Yeah I know! Calls it exflating or something..."

"_Exfoliating_, moron."

"Fucking whatever Rosalie, does it look like I really care?"

"Language, Edward."

"Really, Edward, watch your mouth around your mother."

"Sorry."

"Hey where's Bella?" Emmett asked and my head snapped up. She should have been clearly visible from his position in the kitchen. I dashed to the lounge room and looked around. I called her name, but she didn't respond. Esme alerted me that she was going to check the bathroom and when she called down that there was no sign of her, I began to panic. The others broke away to look for her, everyone begging her to show herself.

Then I heard it.

Bubbles and chimes.

From behind the curtain.

That sneaky little minx was playing games with us!

A smile crept across my lips and I tiptoed around the lounge room, wondering aloud where on earth Bella could be. Another giggle sounded.

"Is she under the blanket?" I lifted the blanket so she could hear the noise. A stifled giggle this time. The others bustled inside, looking distressed, and I motioned them over, wordlessly warning them that she was hiding and pressing a finger to my lips for silence. Carlisle and Rosalie were unimpressed as each other, and they both stormed off in different directions. Alice joined Jasper and at her confused look he explained in whispers what was going on. She too looked on with amusement. "Is she under the coffee table?" Another stifled giggle. "Oh no! I can't find my Bella anywhere! I have to go find her; she might be lost and scared outside!"

I exaggerated my footsteps, stomping loudly as I slowly made my way out of the room. With a delighted squeal, Bella revealed herself and came flying at me, launching herself onto my back. If she wasn't such a lightweight I would have fallen flat on my face. Straight away, I hooked my arms around her legs and ran around the lounge room, weaving around the furniture. "There you are! Bella you're flying! Put your arms out!" She obediently flapped her arms like she'd seen birds do and giggled happily as we flew around until I was exhausted, flopping on the lounge with a disappointed Bella's legs still locked around me. She wriggled impatiently, flapping her arms. "We'll fly more later if you ask," I winked. She scowled and pushed me onto the floor. I didn't care; I just laughed at her as she stomped away and buried her head in Alice's sympathetic shoulder. She'd forgive me later – after all, I was the one with the gummi bears.

***

Bella had been up in Alice's room for hours. It was concerning because the last time I'd seen her she'd been upset with me. I thought she'd come around sooner than this. I clutched my bag for gummi bears uneasily, debating whether or not to knock on the door and apologise or just wait for her to come back down.

I was just deciding to go back downstairs when I heard something that made me stay.

"Its okay, Bella. Its alright. I was just like you, you know. Did anyone tell you that?" I imagined Bella shaking her head and gazing curiously up at Alice, her head tilted quizzically like a puppy's. Alice launched into her story and I stayed there listening like an idiot, because Alice's story would forever haunt me.

She was born Mary Alice Brandon to a pair of twenty-year-olds in Mississippi, their real names still aren't known to this day. They travelled the country stealing from people and living as squatters to pay for their drug habit – heroin was their drug of choice. Alice's father would put on a fake cast and ask for help carrying various items to his car. He always chose business centres, as the people would most likely be wealthy in a business centre. Once the unsuspecting good Samaritans were busy with their heads in the back of the car, he would knock them out and strip them of any cash or valuables. Alice's mother was an expert pick-pocket and a master of tricking lonely old men that she'd do their shopping for them. When they handed over the money for a week's worth of groceries, she'd leave with the promise to bring back the goods, but would never be seen again.

One day, when Alice's little family made their way to Seattle, Alice was playing about the house like any regular five-year-old. She had a Barbie doll and was braiding its hair, talking to it and making voices for it to talk back to her. Her parents hadn't been very successful in their operations thus far and were on their way into withdrawal. Withdrawal for heroin addicts was never the prettiest thing in the world, but I never thought anyone would do what her father did that night.

In a fit of rage – no one was sure why, though Alice was sure it was the noise she was making – her father turned on her and threw her across the room. Her mother spoke up and yelled at him to leave Alice alone. Well, that was enough for him to completely snap, and he beat Alice's mother to death. Alice screamed and screamed for him to stop, to leave her alone, but it only made him turn on her again.

He put his hands around little Alice's neck and choked her until she passed out, yelling at her over and over to shut up. Poor little Alice struggled and pulled, but he just kept telling her to shut up.

So she did.

And from the day she was found dumped at the hospital Carlisle was working in at the time, she wouldn't talk. Because the last thing she remembered was being told to shut up, and thinking she was going to die for being too loud.

It was only after two years of Carlisle and Esme's constant encouragement that she finally spoke again, catching up quickly for everything she'd wanted to say but not felt confident enough to.

Now the pesky pixie wouldn't shut the fuck up and was probably upsetting Bella.

I knocked.

"We are having a heart-to-heart here!"

"You're talking her ear off is what you're doing," I retorted, entering the room despite not being given permission to. "Don't you have a boyfriend for that kind of stuff?"

"Doesn't she look pretty?" Alice gestured grandly in Bella's direction and I smiled widely when I took her appearance in. She was wearing a pink sweater and matching pink tights under a white miniskirt. She loved bright colours, so she was wearing a bright aqua-coloured scarf loosely around her neck. With the purple barrettes in her hair, she looked positively adorable.

"Very pretty," I agreed. "Gummi bears?" I offered, holding the back out to her. Bella's face lit up and she hurried over, taking the bag and kissing my cheek before skipping out – probably to sit in the kitchen and sort them by colour like she always did. On my way out, I stopped at the doorframe and turned back to face Alice. "You okay, Al?"

She smiled knowingly.

"Never better," she winked. Jasper brushed past me and greeted her with a kiss and I knew I wouldn't be needed to comfort her this time, but I would be if she ever needed it. Us Cullen kids were tight like that. No matter how crazy we drove each other.

***

"I'm not hiding her."

"You're talking like she's our daughter and that just isn't the case, Esme, how many times do we have to go through this?"

"Keeping her safe until we know more about her is different than hiding her. I won't hide her from him, she's-"

"She's not ready for normal interaction!"

"He'll understand!"

"He's not Billy!"

"Well he knows everything! He knows about the kids and how they were-"

"This is different to that, she's fully grown! She's their age!"

Esme and Carlisle were doing that thing where they move into the room next door to yell at each other, like we couldn't hear them through one fucking wall. I mean what was the point of having a house that was called a mansion by most if they weren't going to utilise all the goddamn space?

Anyway, Esme had a staff member of hers coming over soon to pick up some equipment that they needed for an event the next day. Her and Carlisle were currently debating whether or not to hide Bella.

"If I just _explain_ to him..." Esme trailed off, knowing full well that explaining things would only lead to more questions.

"Esme, we need to keep her safe."

"Jacob Black is no danger to anyone, Carlisle and you know that. I'll just explain that we have a new family member, and that she's a little fragile. I'll tell him to keep his distance. He'll understand." I heard Carlisle sigh and I pictured him pinching the bridge of his nose like he did when he was about to cave, even though he was still stressing about something. Beside me, Jasper mocked the gesture and we all chuckled quietly. Except Bella. She was too busy eating gummi bears and listening to Alice's iPod – we didn't want her to hear the argument.

"He's not to tell anyone."

"She's a foster child for the moment and we want to keep her presence quiet until we're sure we can keep her," Esme replied in a smug tone, knowing Carlisle was about to agree.

"Fine, Esme. You speak to him before he even walks through the door."

The doorbell rang right that very second and Esme darted off, smiling triumphantly.

"Jacob! Let me talk to you out here for a second..."

Minutes later, Jacob strolled in trying to look casual even though he was clearly searching for Bella. She wasn't hard to find, sitting on the kitchen counter with her gummi bears, swinging her legs happily to the beat of some pop song. He waved at her and she stared at him warily as he made his way past. She didn't take her eyes off him until he'd turned a corner and vanished from sight. She pulled the earphones from her ears and pointed in the direction he'd just gone, a question in her eyes.

"He works for Esme. His name is Jacob. He's been a friend of the family for a long time," Jasper explained. She frowned a little, then nodded, apparently happy enough to trust him on the basis that we obviously did.

"Ready, Jasper?" Carlisle called from the front door.

"Yeah!" he called back, kissing Alice quickly before sweeping out of the room. Emmett and Rose had left for the bar-site a little earlier. Jacob called Alice over to help him go over a seating plan or something and Bella jumped a little at the sound of his voice. I took her hand and smiled reassuringly.

"He won't hurt you," I promised her. "He's a nice guy. We used to hang out a lot but he lives out on the Reservation, got a different bunch of friends. We don't get along with them, so we only see him when he helps Esme and Alice, but he's cool."

It was all true. Billy Black and my father were good friends. Billy was a resident doctor down on the Reservation near La Push beach – took care of all the Quileutes. He consulted with Carlisle quite a bit and if anyone from the Reservation had to be admitted to hospital, it was Carlisle who took care of them. Whenever we took trips to the beach, we would inevitably be joined by Billy and Jacob. We grew up together, but in the more recent years Jacob took to sticking by his friends at La Push. It didn't bother me any because I didn't like those guys – they were like a pack of wolves, to be honest – but I was happy to hang out if Jacob ever wanted to.

Right then, the phone rang and I left Bella eating her gummi bears to answer it. Carlisle needed me to write a few messages down for him so he wouldn't forget some extra research to do at work. It sounded like garble to me, but he assured me he'd understand what the notes meant. How anyone could understand "secondary layer" without further explanation I'll never know.

When I got back, Jacob was sitting next to Bella on the counter sharing her gummi bears in a comfortable silence.

"You don't talk much, do ya?" he asked. She shook her head. "Why not?" She shrugged at him. "That's cool you don't have to tell me," he winked. "These are good. I like the green ones," he told her. She made a revolted face at him and pushed all the green ones towards him. Smart move. I hated green as well. "Are you serious? You don't want them?"

"You sound shocked," I laughed, heading over to them as Bella shook her head. No, she definitely didn't want them.

"Bella, dude, green is the _best_. You are missing out, my friend," he insisted, holding one out to her. She made a face and popped a red on into her mouth instead. "Oh whatever, you food snob," he chuckled, and even though I was sure Bella had no idea what a food snob was supposed to be, she just smiled and pushed the green gummi bears closer to him. When she noticed me standing there, she held out a handful of yellow ones.

"Thanks, Bella," I grinned, taking them and popping one into my mouth. Suddenly, she stood and fled the room, passing Esme and Alice on the way.

"Bathroom break," I laughed when Jacob asked if he'd offended her.

"Oh, right. Okay," he nodded. "So where's she from?"

We all took a moment looking at each other. _Good fucking question, man. Too bad we can't answer it._

"Bella wasn't raised in a normal family."

"Vague it up a little for me, Esme, I didn't quite need that much information," Jacob replied, rolling his eyes.

"Edward found her," Alice blurted out and Esme made a squeaking kind of panicky noise, slapping her with a wad of colour charts she'd been holding. But it'd been said now and there wasn't really any way of taking it back. Jacob was staring at me with such deep curiosity that I couldn't deny him the entire story. I jerked my head towards the door and he led the way out into the back yard.

***

"So you don't know anything about her?" he asked for the millionth time.

"Not a fucking thing," I answered once more, taking a deep drag of the cigarette we were sharing. He ran a hand through his shortly-cropped hair and dropped to the ground, leaning against a tree. He'd stayed silent through my story, just nodding in encouragement as I explained the entire sordid deal to him. "And you can't tell anybody. The only reason you know the truth now is because Alice couldn't keep her mouth shut. And honestly you're lucky you even know about her existence at all. Carlisle didn't want you to even see her. Esme's gonna have to butter him up real good before we tell him you know the truth."

"I can't believe it. I wonder who she really is," he sighed, looking back towards the house as I passed him the cigarette. He took a drag, staring pensively between the house and the forest behind us – no doubt trying to make some sense of everything. "She's fucking cute, though. You guys should keep her."

"Dude, she's not a puppy."

"I know, but I mean... she's sweet and stuff. She doesn't know anything else. Do you think she's like... a Dark Angel clone thing?"

"What like a super human genetically modified... clone?"

"Well yeah, why not?"

It was my turn for a drag now, and I considered the possibly of it until I remembered her inability to even use a spoon and the fact that she still sometimes tripped over her own feet.

"I don't think so, man. She's not even used to her body."

"Maybe she's an alien or something cool like that. Oh!" Jacob slapped me as he remembered something. "What about if she's like in that movie with the hot chick. The one with the orange hair! And Bruce Willis is in it-"

"She's _not_ The Fifth Element!"

***

The rest of the day passed without much to report. Emmett and Rose stayed at Rose's place, Alice locked herself in her room with charts and plans, Carlisle and Jasper returned home only to spend all night in Carlisle's office, Bella had some lessons with Esme and I fucked about on my guitar for a while, mentally preparing myself for what was to come. I glared at the suitcase on my bed, refusing to pack it until the very last minute. I knew I had to go in order to stay with her in the long run – and staying with her was my number one priority – but leaving her now was the very first thing on my list of things I didn't want to fucking do.

When I put her to bed that night, I didn't tell her I was leaving for the course in the morning. I didn't tell her I'd have to say goodbye for a long time. I just told her to sleep tight and have sweet dreams. Because I wanted her to be happy. And I wanted to believe I'd find a way to stay.


	7. Fall At Your Feet

**Hello my loves!**

**Again I am so so so so so sorry for the wait! This chapter was extremely difficult for me to write. I enlisted the help of several friends to finish it. It just... guh...**

**Anyhow, you WILL have the next chapter either today or tomorrow so never fear! I will make it up to you! I am so excited for this chapter and the next. Especially the next so STAY TUNED!**

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The moon peeked through a crack in the drapes, bathing everything in shadows and an eerie blue light. I was lying on my bed on top of the covers just looking around. It'd be a couple for months before I slept on this bed again. The community school was running the course through the summer for people like me who were eager to get into the workplace as soon as possible without having to go to college. There were boxes around the room – only a few, for I didn't have very many possessions that I wanted to take with me – and there was my suitcase packed with the essentials in case I couldn't unpack for a little while.

I kept telling myself that I'd only be in Seattle and in the grand scheme of things a hundred miles and a few months weren't all that important. But then I thought of how she came into my life in barely an instant... couldn't she then be taken away that quickly? And time for her was different; I had 18 years of experience and 15 years of memories to draw on for comparison to a lifetime. She only had months. I would away from her for a lifetime.

With a small groan, I lifted myself into a sitting position and ran my hands through my hair, tugging a little in my distress. I spent the remainder of the night staring at my bedroom door, trying to think of the best time to tell Bella I was going.

The best time presented itself as the sun began to rise. A small click from my door tore my gaze from the window. Bella looked surprised to see me awake, and I wondered what she would've thought it I hadn't climbed under the covers about an hour earlier.

"Hey Eht-waht," she greeted me, sliding in next to me and curling up close.

"Can't sleep?"

"Not tied."

"Tired."

"Tie-ed."

"Very good," I praised, squeezing her with the arm I had draped around her shoulder. "Bella," I began, lying us down. She rested her head on my chest, her arm across my stomach. "I have to go away."

"Where you go?

"School... kind of."

"What is it?"

"I need to learn something important," I tried to explain. She nodded, and then shifted so that her chin rested over my heart, where her ear had just been, and she looked me in the eyes. "So I need to go when everyone wakes up. But I won't be back."

Bella frowned. "Eht-waht sleeps here."

"No. Not anymore. Not for a long time."

"What?" she asked, confusing 'what' and 'why' in the adorable way she always seemed to.

"I'll sleep at school." She frowned deeper, her hold on me tightening. That's when I knew she understood me.

"Eht-waht..." she started, shaking her head and squeezing. "Eht-waht not go."

She looked desperate. I wanted to shoot myself.

"I have to," I whispered, shutting my eyes as though the blindness would also block out the desperation in her voice.

"No. Eht-waht not go. Eht-waht sleep here. Eht-waht be home. Eht-waht be home w-w-..." she trailed off, close to tears. She buried her head into my stomach and I ran my fingers through her hair as it cascaded down her back.

"I'll write to you," I promised, hating the way my voice cracked and the way she was trembling beneath my fingertips. "I'll write every day. Emmett can show you on the computer," I continued, just letting a tear or two fall without caring, because I could feel her own tears soaking my shirt and nothing else mattered but the fact that I was causing her pain.

"I can read," she mumbled, her muffled voice sounding even more miserable.

"Esme can read them for you," I assured her, knowing she meant 'can't' rather than 'can', trying to turn my body so that I could lie down and look at her properly. She kept hiding in my chest, holding too tightly for me to move. I tried again and she whimpered, thinking I was trying to get away.

"No! Mine!" she protested. "My Eht-waht!"

"Bella I'm so sorry," I sighed, managing to move enough to cup her cheek and rub her smooth skin with my thumb.

"You not go," she mumbled, sniffling a little, but possibly coming to terms with it. She was settling down slowly, her grip relaxing.

"The sooner you let me go, the sooner I can come back," I tried, lifting her chin once again with my finger. "And when I come back I don't have to ever go away again, okay?"

She considered this for a while, looking up at me – scrutinizing my expression, searching for lies – and not speaking.

"Come back," was all she said before she moulded her frame to mine. We didn't move for hours.

***

I had been in Seattle for three weeks now. The weather was uncommonly warm, and I thought of the lazy summer days I was missing out on with the boys and Bella. Esme told me the weather was the same in Forks, and I wondered if they took Bella to the beach to play in the water that she loved so much. I thought of her every day, every hour, every minute. Looking up from my books for what felt like days, though it could only have been hours, my eyes found the small pile of gifts that I'd accumulated for her. There were bags and bags of gummi bears – of course – along with a few items of clothing that I'd seen on some of the girls around the community school, and a few other small items that I thought she'd find fun.

Tanya emerged from my bedroom and sauntered over, climbing onto my lap and providing the distraction I so sorely needed. She was good at that, Tanya was. I'd met her in class and we were both missing people at home. The sex was amazing – probably because we expected nothing of each other. We both knew that once we'd done our courses we'd part ways, never see each other again, and neither of us cared in the slightest. We just... needed each other. Just to get through. I didn't really know anything about her. We rarely spoke; we mostly just studied and fucked. Emmett was jealous, as I expected him to be, and he asked for all the gritty details in the emails I sent him. Dirty prick.

"Tense, babe?" Tanya asked, sensing my need for her. "Come to bed for a while."

"In a minute, I've just gotta finish these questions," I muttered against her lips. My hands slid down her sides and she giggled but it didn't sound right. It didn't bubble and chime like it should have. I sighed and shook that thought out of my head. "On second thought, let's go right now," I amended, lifting her and carrying her back to our sanctuary.

***

The sounds of my guitar floated through the box-like apartment, filling the room with the lilting chords of some song I'd heard being played frequently in Alice's room. I stared out at the busy street below, idly plucking at the strings and thinking about how things would have been going back at home that very moment.

It was around the time of evening when Esme would be returning from work. It was a Thursday, so Carlisle would have been home all day with Bella, teaching her everything she needed to know. Alice and Emmett would undoubtedly be in the kitchen, fighting over which take-out menu was going to be used for dinner that night with Rosalie and Jasper waiting, used to the conflict and generally just bored with the entire situation. Carlisle would be finishing his notes on Bella's progress for the day. What would Bella be doing? Ordinarily, the two of us would be sitting at the piano.

The day before I'd left we had been doing just that when she tried to talk to me about something that had happened after her lessons with Esme that I was still trying to understand completely, but with Bella's lack of vocabulary it was hard to gather the entire story and she'd given up in frustration with herself even though I knew it was still bugging her.

"Aspa talk ni Carlisle," she'd spluttered.

"Jasper talks to Carlisle?"

"Yeah. Aspa talk to Carlisle an ni caw da-"

"Slow down, Bella," I instructed, encouraging her to take a few deep breaths before she continued, because I could tell she was getting worked up. "Are you talking about when you went to say goodnight?" I asked. She nodded. "Jasper was talking to Carlisle when you went to say goodnight?"

"Aspa caw-"

"_Jasper_," I corrected. She huffed and pursed her lips, and didn't say anything more about it.

It wasn't until today that I gave it any more thought. What was she trying to say? Was it important? If it was, would she try and tell anyone else?

I'd spoken to her a couple of times in the beginning but she was averse to the phone, and was mostly silent and in a hurry to hang up. Emmett later explained in an email that she was afraid of bugs coming out of either end of the phone and scurrying into her ear and mouth. They had all tried to explain how ridiculous that particular notion was, but she was adamant about staying away from the telephone – even when it came to me – so they decided to let it go and I was left sending unanswered emails for her to Esme's personal account.

I kept telling myself that I only had to get through tomorrow, and then I could go home. Home to my bed, the rest of my belongings, my family, my piano, my Bella. I'd already said my goodbyes to Tanya. It wasn't very emotional – we just fucked one last glorious time before she gathered her things and left, telling me that I was welcome to call her any time I was in town.

***

I watched the paper burn, the embers and ash floating away just like the hope I had held so desperately onto.

He wasn't ever going to be happy with me. I wasn't ever going to be good enough for him; good enough to call myself a son of Dr. Carlisle Cullen.

I stared long and hard at the smoking remains of the letter he'd sent me, my Volvo waiting for me – enticing me with the thought of Bella but forcing me away with memories of what I'd just read.

_Edward,_

_Congratulations on completing your course. It has been strange without your presence in the house, especially in relation to the newer presence we have. Bella has been missing you. She asks about you every day and we have been in the habit of having you around for so long..._

_So yes, it has indeed been strange without you in the house. However, I cannot pretend that I am not more than just a little disappointed about the circumstances in which your absence was caused. _

_Edward, I know I have pushed you into choosing a career (with only your wellbeing and livelihood in mind), but this is not what I had in mind. For Emmett and Rosalie, the bar is perfect. They have never wanted to be far from home and, in all honesty, Emmett has never proven to be the intellectual kind. Alice is well on her way to being a celebrated events co-ordinator state-wide. _

_I have always wanted the best for all three of you, as I am sure you already know. I would not have taken you in had I not wanted to give you all the best possible life I could, and lead you in the direction to have the best possible life you can then give yourself._

_Being a barman, not even in your own establishment, is not the best life for you._

_Whatever you believe of your relationship with Bella, the fact remains that she is now __my__ responsibility. She is not your responsibility, no matter what the circumstances of her discovery and initial growth may have been. She is living under my roof, she is learning from me and she will continue to do so because it is my wish for it to be that way._

_Now, I will continue to support your brother and sister because they need help getting on their feet while they are establishing themselves. I have always believed that to be a parent's role. _

_In your case, Edward, I regret to say that I do not wish to support your cause._

_If you choose to be a mere barman (as opposed to a journalist, or a professional of any kind, which is what I always thought you would want) then you are free to do so off your own back. Once you are working, I expect you to save enough money for bond. I will not have you leeching off of your mother and I for the rest of your life because you feel some strange bond with a girl who may not even be in our lives much longer. She has grown, Edward, and may not choose to stay with us. _

_That being said, I do look forward to your return. And I do love you, son. _

_Carlisle. _

***

The familiar streets of Forks felt like a godsend after such a long drive. In the main strip I saw some old school friends who waved at me, a couple of ex-girlfriends who scowled. It felt great. It felt like home.

The swelling green trees looked warm even though the weather forced me to wear a jacket. The sky was grey and low, but instead of suffocating me it felt like a blanket on a cold winter night. I turned the radio off and rolled my windows down, listening to the sound of the air rushing past, mixed with the birds who were hiding in the trees and the distant sound of people shouting hello to each other.

Finally, I turned into the drive and it was like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. This was my home. Esme would never let Carlisle kick me out, especially not while Bella was still with us. The sun broke free of the cloud blanket and glinted off the windows of the house, making it glitter. I could hear Alice screeching as I stepped out of the Volvo, shutting the door behind me.

"He's home! Edward's home!"

I smiled to myself, shaking my head a little as I grabbed a couple of my bags and started heading up to the door.

"Edward's back!" boomed Emmett.

Then there was a new voice, a voice I'd heard before but never like this. It intensified as the front door opened and something small, soft and warm collided with me.


	8. Everything Part One

**Hello hello!**

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**You may have noticed that it is short. This is because of two reasons: 1) I promised a certain amount of people that I would update before they woke up and time is running out and 2) My fiance wants me to get off the damn laptop already!**

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"EDWARD! EDWARD IS HOME! IT'S EDWARD! HE'S BACK! EDWARD!"

It was all I could hear before Bella basically crash-tackled me into a warm hug. She smelled so fucking good. She smelled like that flower that chicks dig the smell of... that little white one... jasmine. She smelled like jasmine and roses. And Doritos. I held onto her waist and dug my fingers in; just waiting for that noise I'd missed so much.

She giggled and my life was complete.

"Hey Bella," I greeted her, pressing a kiss to her hair before pulling back to get a better look at her. I barely noticed everyone else standing around, and the banner Alice had made to welcome me home.

"Hey Edward!" she chirped, grinning widely. "I talk now!" she informed me, looking proud. "I learned real quick, and now I talk to everyone!" she started tugging at my arm, leading me further into the house, looking like she was just about ready to talk me to death.

I was dumfounded. She was speaking fluently. I had missed so much.

"Bella give him two minutes to breathe," Esme scolded gently, prying her fingers from me so that she could envelop me in an embrace. "Welcome home, son," she sighed, evidently just as relieved as I was to have me back.

"Thanks mom," I smiled, kissing her cheek. Alice leapt on me with a squeal and gestured grandly at her banner. I chuckled and swatted Emmett over the head. He punched my arm. Carlisle smiled and gave me the dad-hug.

"Good to have you back, bro," Jasper winked, tossing me a bag full of new guitar picks.

"Dude, I'm touched," I joked, wiping a pretend tear from my eye.

"You guys are all assholes," Rosalie muttered, fighting a smile.

"Love you too, Rose," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"It's been two minutes and he's BREATHING!" Bella cried impatiently, taking my hand once more and dragging me up to my bedroom. She bounced over and sat on my bed, grinning and patting the space near her. "Tell me everything, and then I'll have my turn," she instructed, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them in patient curiosity. I sat in front of her and just stared. She waited patiently as I took her in. I was right in thinking they would take her to the beach – her skin was darker, and it glowed – she looked... older... but still young. And she had this air about her. She'd changed so much. Did I still know this girl? She certainly knew me.

"Did, uh... did you get my emails?" I asked, clearing my throat, though it still cracked in shock.

"Yeah, but I still don't read very well so Esme read them to me. I can't write well either so I didn't write back. Are you mad?"

"No of course not. Uh..." I drew in a deep breath and ran my hand over my face, trying to get used to having a conversation with Bella that was fully comprehensible. "I don't really have much to tell aside from what I've already told you. The drive home was boring until the weird homeless guy who lives on the main strip here in Forks got so excited to see my car again that he lost his shoe," I chuckled. She giggled along with me. _God, I missed that sound..._

"Did he find it?" she asked, eyes sparkling with amusement. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm not sure; I was only passing him in the car so I didn't see much. Hey," I started, reaching over to one of my bags. "I got you some stuff." Her eyes lit up and her smile widened.

"Really?"

"Yeah, let me get it..."

Just then, Esme called Bella's name from downstairs.

"You have a visitor, sweetheart!"

I looked up, confused. Bella had a visitor? I'd always thought we were going to keep her a secret until we knew where she came from. How could they reveal her to the public without even telling me, let alone without discussing it with me?

"Jake!" Bella squealed, jumping up and streaking down the stairs, pulling me in tow. I was more relieved than anyone could ever imagine. It wasn't a _real_ visitor; it was just Jacob picking stuff up for Esme and Alice. They probably knew each other well by now.

"Hey Bells! Ah, Edward's back. That's why you weren't waiting for me at the door," he winked, eliciting a frown from me. Why would she wait for him at the door?

"I don't wait for you at the door!" she argued, frowning just like me. This amused Jacob, and he yanked her into a bone-crushing hug.

"Didn't you miss me?" he laughed, with Bella being just the right height for her head to be completely lost under his arms.

"Get off, Jake! You're so STINKY!" Jacob continued to laugh at her muffled protests until she smacked him hard on the back.

"Ouch! That's not fair!"

"I couldn't BREATHE!"

"Whatever, you're just a wimp," he teased. Bella clearly didn't like this. She scowled nice and deep and pointed a finger at him.

"I'll show you one day, Jacob Black," she threatened. He only laughed again and threw an arm around her shoulders. Her scowl melted away and she wrapped her arm around his waist. "Yes I missed you," she admitted. "Now go away, Edward was about to give me presents. Weren't you, Edward?"

I shook away the look of shock that had been securely planted on my face and nodded.

"Yeah, uh... yeah lets- lets go back upstairs," I stammered.

"No way, there's a party happening!" Alice called to us. "You're not locking yourselves up there! Not when we have nachos and hot dogs and burgers and chips and all the good stuff just waiting to be eaten!"

"I got foosball!" Emmett called, and I could just imagine him waggling his eyebrows as though I could actually see him and as if that would actually entice me. Although foosball and nachos...

"Not in-ter-ested!" Bella called back, rolling her eyes. "I want to cuddle Edward!"

"Aww you big cuddle bear, what I'm not good enough anymore?" Jacob teased.

"You stink," Bella retorted. "Edward is my awesome man of total awesomeness." At that comment, I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Your awesome man of awesomeness?" I repeated in between hysterical cackles. "Jacob, stop teaching her stupid words!"

"Awesomeness is totally a word, and it's not stupid."

"Yeah!"

"What? You're siding with him?"

"I side with whoever thinks I'm awesome."

"Okay stop saying awesome," I teased, pulling her close to me. She sighed and snuggled into me. "I can't believe how well you're talking. Honestly. You've done so well, Bella. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Edward," she breathed, tilting her head up. We stayed like that for a moment, just letting everything else disappear and being there with each other and no one else. Until Bella jumped back with a startled squeak.

"JACOB!"

"What?"

He tried to look innocent, but the ice-cube falling out of Bella's shirt implicated him. She shuddered gently and glared, moving into the crouch position I'd seen back in the bathroom what seemed like a lifetime ago. A growl rumbled in her chest.

"You're gonna pay..."

"No pouncing, Bella." Carlisle's voice was stern from the doorway to the living room. "She's got quite a deadly pounce," he informed me, smiling as though he hadn't been such a goddamn prick to me in that letter – like the letter had never even happened. "Come get some food."

"Can I just have one minute with Bella?" I asked, intending to give her the gummi bears. I could hardly wait to see her face when she saw that I had 10 pounds of gummi bears, already sorted by colour. It had taken me all night, but I had done it for her. We could serve the reject colours along with the other treats downstairs. Red, yellow and orange would be for us.

"Please, Carlisle?" Bella begged when Carlisle looked like he was about to protest. His disapproving frown melted away as she turned on the puppy-dog eyes and I knew that no matter how strict he tried to be with her, she would always win. Because she owned every single one of us.

"One minute," he conceded. Her face lit up like that very first day in the shower and she showered his cheek with kisses before pulling me upstairs.

Okay so she hadn't changed that much. She was still my little Bella. She was still a bouncy, happy, affection-filled bubble. She still loved me. And when she spotted the bag of red gummi bears in my hand I knew she still loved those, too.

"So many..." she breathed, turning the bag about in reverence. I couldn't help but laugh little at her expression. It was as though I'd handed her diamonds.

"I have ten pounds in total, all sorted by colour."

"Ten pounds?!" she exclaimed, pushing past me to see them laid out on the bed. "I've never seen so many! This is so cool!" She scooped up all the bags, then decided against that idea and placed the red, yellow and orange ones back down. "I'll share _some_," she said sheepishly, intending to take down the clear and the green, and I think we both knew we'd spend many evenings with our hidden stash. Just the two of us. But then she surprised me by replacing the green with the orange. She must have seen the question in my eyes because she explained as we made our way back to the party. "Jake likes green the best."

Suddenly our two had become three.


	9. Everything Part Two

**Wow its another update!**

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**I am feeling all the Carlisle and Tanya hate! Poor Tanya, she's a skank but she doesn't deserve the hate. And please rest assured that you won't be seeing any more of her. She was just an illustration of Edward's lonliness and lets face it... he's an 18-year-old hottie with needs, people!**

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The party was already in swing when we found ourselves in the living room. The foosball was set up with Jasper and Alice locked in a furious battle – much cussing ensued, but Esme pretended not to hear it. She stood chatting animatedly with Rosalie about decorations and interior design regarding the grand opening of their new bar, recently named The Grizzly, while Carlisle stood beside Esme sipping on a martini and listening intently.

"Bella!" called Emmett from across the room.

"Apipoulai!" Bella responded, raising one hand in a small wave. He dropped his hotdog at the precise moment his jaw hit the floor. Even Rosalie stopped her conversation and whipped her head around to face Bella, who just kept smiling.

"What did you say?" Emmett asked, his voice matching mine the very first night I'd heard her speak. He inched towards her, and then darted at her at full speed when she repeated herself. "I love you so freakin' much! You are the best little Supreme Being ever!" He spun her around effortlessly and she squealed and giggled, bubbles and chimes at full volume, while I struggled to figure out what the hell was going on.

"It's a move quote. Three guesses which one," said a voice in my ear, I turned my head slightly to find Jacob standing there and rolling his eyes fondly as Emmett continued to praise Bella for successfully quoting The Fifth Element.

"You even got the little wave right and everything!" he cried, mussing up her hair, much to her disapproval.

"Don't touch it!" she protested, shaking free of him and smoothing her hair down. Apparently somewhere along the line she'd learned a certain amount of vanity. Alice probably had something to do with that. Not that it was a bad thing – she ought to care about her appearance and want to enhance her natural beauty. I groaned at myself inwardly. _Enhance her natural beauty? _My inner monologue was starting to sound like some metrosexual douchebag.

The party continued in a kind of blur for me. I couldn't tear my eyes away from Bella. She was more graceful, more verbose, more confident and... Happier. She was happy. I watched her as Jacob stood behind her and taught her how to work the foosball handles, continued to watch as she took Emmett on in a burger-eating contest and lost, clutching her stomach in a comical manner and struggling to breathe. She flopped down on the lounge beside me and as she laid her head in my lap I played with the loose tendrils of her long brown hair. Jacob approached us, and as much as I appreciated him keeping her company I just wanted him to fuck off for a while. She must have shared this sentiment because she outright told him to go away.

"Ouch, baby Bells," he laughed, pretending to be hurt but being that infuriating kind of understanding about it all. I didn't want him to understand. I wanted him to be mad and I wanted him to walk away without an intention of coming back. Because I was back now, and there was no need for him to take care of her anymore.

"I'm just tired!" she reasoned, and the thought of her reasoning at all brought a smile to my face. It was like watching a child grow and learn. Jacob just mumbled something or other and rejoined the crowd. "Missed you," she whispered, and when I looked down at her, she had tilted her head back to see my face better.

"I missed you too. I missed you the most out of everything," I told her, reaching down and caressing her soft little cheek. She shut her eyes and leaned into my hand. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jacob watching us with a peculiar expression. By this time the parents had gone to bed, warning us not to stay up too late and to keep it to a reasonable noise level – as if that really mattered in a house this size, we could scream bloody murder and they wouldn't hear – and the girls were dancing while Jasper and Emmett dominated the foosball and Jacob pretended to referee even though I could see him watching us. She sensed my unease and turned to Jacob, but ignored his gaze and promptly turned her attention to Alice and Rosalie who were bumping and grinding away to some Beyonce song.

"What are they doing?" she asked me, and a part of me rejoiced because it was moments like this – that had been few and far between tonight – that assured me that she was still my little girl. My sweet, innocent and naive little Bella.

"Dancing. People move their bodies along with the music," I explained, swaying along with the beat just to illustrate my point. Honestly, I hated this song. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to encourage women to badger men about putting rings on their fingers ought to be shot.

"It looks hard," she frowned, her lips pursing as she concentrated on their bodies popping and locking and whatever the hell they were trying to do. "I don't think I like it."

"I bet you would if you knew how," I contradicted, nudging her gently and smiling encouragingly.

"Will you teach me?" she asked, sitting up and straightening her shirt.

"I don't think so... I'm not a good dancer. I wouldn't be able to teach you."

"But you're the best teacher I ever had!" she argued, pouting a little. And thank fuck Alice interrupted us because that girl had me so tightly wrapped around her finger that I would have gotten up and made an ass of myself just to see her happy.

"Bella your hair is ruined!" she cried in dismay, hurrying over and starting to fix it. Bella shot Emmett an angry look that he didn't see, but Jasper did.

"She's not happy with you, dude."

"Well now that makes two of us, huh?" Emmett chuckled, shaking his head. I was about to ask what they meant when Jacob came over and enticed me to go outside with the prospect of a cigarette. Oh how I needed one...

***

"She's really something, huh?" was Jacob's conversation-starter. I took a long pull and nodded my head. "She missed you so much. She cried for a little while, but then your emails started coming. Made her feel better to have that contact, you know?" I nodded again, not particularly wanting to discuss Bella with him, but going along just to keep the peace. "She's like... the best little sister in the world, isn't she?" he said, and I agreed, but the second the words left my mouth I knew they weren't right.

I turned my gaze to the window and peered inside, where Bella was being shown how to dance by Alice and Rosalie. They both looked so encouraging, and I felt a kind of relief at the fact that Rosalie seemed to be warming up to her. Probably made it easier now that she could hold conversations and Rosalie could plainly see that she wasn't any threat to us. But looking at Bella, I knew that I didn't think of her as a sister. She was more than that. She was more than anything. She was everything to me.

"Cause, I dunno she's cute and shit. She's like a little kid stuck in a teenage body and she's got this ultimate adorableness about her..."

"See its words like adorableness that makes me want to ban you from being around her," I joked, throwing a pebble at him. We laughed, but in the back of my mind I knew I'd just come to a crossroads. I could be her friend, her protector, her big brother – just like Jacob was doing – or I could try to be _her_ everything. Would she ever feel that way about me? Would she understand it even if she did one day feel something for me? "Dude, are you even here?"

"Yeah, sorry. I think I see Emmett feeding her some kind of drink... we should go inside," I said distractedly, passing my deep thought off as concern for Bella. In truth, I _did_ see him take a cup to her, but there wasn't any way he would be giving her alcohol. That would be just plain stupid.

"Was that VODKA?!" Rosalie screeched just as we reached the living room. Both of our heads snapped around to Bella, who was pulling a face that no one could deny was a post-vodka face. "We don't even know if that's legal!"

"She's clearly our age, Rose!" Emmett justified, but Jacob just scoffed beside me.

"You don't know that! You don't know anything about her! She could be sixteen! She could be _fourteen_ for all you know!"

I rushed to her side, she was holding her head.

"Bella are you alright?" I asked, cupping her face in my hands.

"Room is moving," she rasped, throat still raw from the drink. I kind of wanted to kick Emmett's ass. And from the looks in Jasper and Jacob's eyes, it would be a team effort. "Edward, you're pretty," she grinned after a time. Everyone cracked up. "Well he IS!" she huffed, crossing her arms in an exaggerated pout. "You can let go of my face now, I want to dance to this song," she slurred, and then I knew she was definitely drunk because she closed her eyes and swayed with a goofy smile on her lips. Jacob evidently decided just to go with it, because he waltzed on over and lifted her from the couch, dancing with her. I watched them dance and it came to me that Jacob never had any intention of being anything to her but a good friend. Not from what I could see tonight. It made a weight lift from my shoulders, because the last thing I wanted was to toss Bella into some sort of twisted love triangle. I just wanted her to know that if she wanted me, I would be hers in an instant.

But how would I explain something like that to a girl who didn't even know what dancing was?

"I'll be telling Carlisle about this," Jasper said in my ear as he sat beside me. I didn't look away from Bella and Jacob, but I nodded. "He's not going to be happy, you know. Rose and Jacob are right. I might stay with her tonight and keep an eye on her."

"You don't have to do that Jasper, I can look after her," I told him, finally turning to face him, but he wasn't looking at me. He was watching Bella waltz drunkenly.

"I've got the training to deal with it if she's got alcohol poisoning," he challenged, raising an eyebrow at me. And that just fucking pissed me off. As if it wasn't enough that my own father liked him better because he was going to be a doctor now he was going to use that shit against me to steal my time with Bella.

"Yeah well if she doesn't fucking like you, dude, she's not going to be very responsive to you is she?" I countered. "What did you do to make her upset?"

"I don't know," he answered, but I knew this was a lie. In fact, I knew Jasper's lying faces so well that I knew that it wasn't a complete lie. He had an _idea_ why she was upset with him, but didn't know definitively.

"Right," I muttered with a roll of my eyes, but I let it go for now. "I'll look after her. If she starts throwing up I know exactly where to find you, alright?"

"Why are you so insistent, Edward? It's not as if you're gonna get some and you don't want to miss the opportunity. This is Bella, not one of your Seattle skanks."

"Okay there was only one girl in Seattle and I've fucking missed her. I'm her best friend. I know she'll want me. She's always been attached to me."

"Unhealthily attached."

For some reason, those two words just really got to me. Who the fuck was he to say how healthy or unhealthy our relationship was?

"Alright Mr. I-Come-From-A-Fucking-Perfect-Background... why don't you tell your perfect fucking girlfriend that the way she used to be attached to Esme was unhealthy then? Why don't you tell Carlisle, your closest buddy, that he let his three kids grow up unhealthily attached to each other? You might know how to fix someone after a physical trauma but you haven't got a fucking clue how to deal with anything emotional, do you? I thought you did because you were so good with her in the beginning, but you can get fucked Jasper if you think I'm going about this the wrong way. Bella's done just _fine_-"

"Without you," he interrupted, holding his hands up as though he knew I wanted to fucking shoot him for saying that. "No offence, Edward, but she progressed a lot further while you were gone."

"That was a timing issue, Jasper."

"If you say so... look whatever, you take care of her tonight because its obviously a big deal to you."

"Good," I grumbled, standing and making my way over to the table under the pretence of grabbing some food. I wasn't hungry. I just needed to get away from that moron. I stood at that table for the rest of the night, letting Bella's carefree nature calm my seething mood, munching absently on long-forgotten snacks and reminding myself that it _had_ been a timing issue, nothing more. I would never hold her back. After all, it was _me_ who she spoke to in secret when she wasn't confident enough to let anyone else hear. It was _me_ who she trusted enough to carry her back her from the forest. And it was me – of this I was absolutely certain – who was meant to find her. Because she was my Bella, she was everything, and nothing was going to tear us apart.


	10. Wonderful World Part One

**Hey everyone! I'm back and I hope you're all ready for another couple of updates because I've finished this one but I've got another right up my sleeve just itching to come out!**

**I want to give a special shoutout to Canoo and Nat who are two of my RL besties reading this story. HEEEEEEY! Especially Nat (she keeps my ass in top gear for writing)**

**Also to all the new people who in the past couple of days who have alerted me. Thank you so much! **

**WE MADE IT OVER 100 REVIEWS, PEOPLE! **

**You guys own me.**

**A special thanks to GetDrunkOnVictory who totally pwned my inbox with reviews this morning! Dude, you read and reviewed every single chapter! I totally heart you!**

**Don't forget to read Stripped and This Sort Of This Just Doesn't Exist. They are two very awesome fics by the lovely punkfarie and ihearthedoctor respectively.**

**This chapter begins in BPOV. And for everyone who has said they miss the "old" Bella... there will be flashbacks so she WILL return ;)  
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Two whole weeks. It had been two whole weeks since Edward came home.

I remember that I heard Alice and Emmett shouting that he'd arrived and I flew down the stairs as fast as my legs would let me, straight over to the front door and right into his arms. It was the best feeling in the whole world. He hugged me tight and when I heard him breathe nice and deep, just like I was doing, I knew he thought it was the best feeling as well.

Now it had been two weeks and it was like he never left, except that I had another best friend as well. Jacob was great. When Edward was gone, he saw that I was sad and he made me feel better by telling me jokes and teaching me cool stuff like how to blow bubbles, whistle and snap my fingers. I still couldn't whistle properly; I did it backwards – I didn't blow the air out of my cheeks like I was supposed to, I sucked air into my mouth. But it still made the right sound.

Edward and I spent most of our days together – work was busy for Carlisle and he was always muttering to himself when he was at home, locked away in his office often accompanied by Jasper. I didn't like it. Before Edward left I heard them talking, and Jasper was on the phone to someone talking about me. I don't know who he was talking to, but I did know that I was supposed to be a secret and everyone who was in on it was already in the house. Who else knew about me? It made me feel scared because even though I didn't know why I was meant to be a secret, I was being kept a secret for a reason. Edward wouldn't let them keep me a secret if it wasn't good for me.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because even though I knew in my heart that they were talking about me, they never really said so. In the office I was only ever known as 'The Girl'. How could I convince anyone else that it was me when they never even mentioned me by name? And why would they do anything to hurt me? They took care of me.

***

It was early. So early that the sun was only just visible in the pretty orange sky. I loved the sky. It changed colours every day. Once the sky was pink and it was the prettiest I had ever seen. That was at the beach when I was with Jacob and Esme. I didn't know how to swim in the water, but I liked standing in it and letting the waves crash on my legs. And Esme taught me how to make sandcastles.

I could hear her in the kitchen now, and I wondered why I couldn't hear Carlisle talking to her like he always did when no one else was awake yet. Maybe he already knew I was on my way down. Sometimes I thought Carlisle didn't like having me around.

Esme gave a start when I pulled out a chair at the breakfast bar. With her hand on her chest, she whirled around and took deep breaths when she saw that it was only me. She smiled and came over to give me a hug and a kiss on my forehead.

"Morning, sweetheart."

"Morning, Esme," I said, giving her my best smile. She pushed a glass of mango juice to me – she always knew exactly what I wanted every morning – and announced that pancakes would be ready soon. I watched her cook, sipping my juice quietly. I knew Edward wouldn't be up for breakfast so I didn't wait for him. Ever since he got back from his school he didn't have breakfast anymore, but I always went to him after I ate and we stayed in his bed for the longest time just talking and cuddling. Edward gave the best cuddles in the world. If I could be anywhere in the entire world, I'd want to be in his bed getting cuddles. There was just something about the way his arms felt around me, the way it felt when he kissed my hair or rubbed my shoulder... it was amazing.

"Where are you, darling?" Esme chuckled, passing over my pancakes. I frowned at her. Couldn't she see me?

"I'm right here," I told her, waving in case she still couldn't see. I didn't know why I had disappeared... maybe she was going blind.

"No, what are you thinking about?" she explained. I didn't understand a lot of their little 'slang' or whatever Carlisle called it.

"I'm thinking about how confusing slang is," I admitted, pouring syrup all over my pancakes and looking around for the butter. Everyone thought I did the butter and syrup backwards, but butter after syrup made perfect sense to me. It was just as tasty as well. Esme held out the butter with a smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, but I meant what were you thinking about when I first asked?"

"When you asked where I was?" I asked, frowning again. Talking was so confusing sometimes. Esme nodded, cutting some strawberries over her own plate of pancakes. I picked a piece of my plate and popped it into my mouth.

"I like cuddles," I told her. She smiled and we didn't talk any more for a little while. I was left alone with my thoughts of cuddling Edward and how I could possibly get even more cuddles than I was already getting. Then I had a thought. "Esme why do I have my own room?"

"What do you mean?" Esme asked. I could tell by the frown on her face that my question had confused her. I didn't understand why it would confuse her because to me it was a simple question. I had another mouthful of juice.

"I mean why do I have my own room," I repeated. Esme still didn't understand because she just kept frowning and chewing. I decided to keep explaining. "You don't have your own room and Emmett and Alice always have people in their room. But I always have to sleep alone. And Edward too. Wouldn't it make more sense if Edward and I kept each other company?"

"No," she answered quickly and sternly, as though I'd done something wrong. I lowered my gaze and pushed a piece of pancake around my plate. Why was I in trouble?

"It was only a question," I mumbled, stuffing the last of my pancake breakfast into my mouth. Esme's hard expression turned soft and I breathed a sigh of relief when she reached over and took my hand.

"I sometimes forget how little you know, Bella," Esme said gently. "Sweetheart young men and young women don't share beds unless they are a couple."

"A couple? That means two. I don't-"

"Do you remember when I told you about love?" she asked, leaning closer. I sighed. Yes, I definitely remembered that. It was the most confusing day of my life.

"Love is when you trust someone and want to be around them all the time and you want to protect them from all the bad things in the world," I recited, nodding my head but frowning. "I feel that way about everyone, Esme," I admitted. Instead of being confused like me, she smiled and hugged me tightly.

"Of course you do, Bella. You are the most loving person I've ever come across," she whispered, kissing my temple. "Now when you love someone, you choose them to be your partner in life. One person you want to spend all of your time with, someone you like to hug and kiss. That makes you a couple," she explained. But I still didn't understand.

"But how do you choose? I mean, I love all of you so how could I pick just one person? I like to hug and kiss all of you! How do you know which person is meant to be your partner?" I asked, dropping my head onto the bench. This whole talk was going to kill me. It was too confusing! Esme lifted my head from the table and smoothed my hair back, watching me carefully.

"Bella, sweetheart... its something you just _know_. In here," she placed her hand over my heart. "You feel all warm inside, and you feel safer than you've ever felt, you feel happier than you've ever been, you smile all the time and you get butterflies in your stomach when you see them," she went on, closing her eyes and smiling as though she were remembering something pleasant. "You just love them the most out of everyone. You know that they are the one person in the whole world that makes you feel that special way. And that's how you know you love them the most. Do you understand?"

I nodded my head, still absorbing it all but getting the general idea. Except that whole butterfly thing. With a grimace, I looked down at my stomach and covered it. I didn't want bugs in my belly! As Esme was explaining that it was just a 'figure of speech', Alice joined us in the kitchen and was soon met by Jasper. I didn't want to be around him so I made my way upstairs to cuddle my Edward.

***

**EPOV**

The soft click of the door shutting roused me from slumber. Rubbing my eyes, I automatically scooted over and pulled the blankets down to let Bella in. This had become our morning routine – she would wake and have breakfast, then climb into bed with me and we'd talk for what seemed like forever. Sometimes we didn't even talking, we just laid there all comfy and warm, just the two of us.

I felt the mattress dip and the smell of roses and jasmine drifted over. Amazingly, she still smelled slightly of Doritos. I often found myself finding ways to explain this mysterious scent that seemed to constantly be on her skin, but maybe it was better that I just accepted that Doritos was just part of her natural smell.

"Hey," she whispered, wriggling into place and squeezing me around my waist. I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, still trying to wake up. "Esme taught me something cool just now," she told me, rolling over so she was on top of me – this was her preferred position when we were talking because she liked the more direct eye contact – supporting all her weight on her little arms. I tied her hair back for her when it fell into her eyes.

"What did she teach you?" I asked, securing the elastic and tucking a stray strand behind her ear.

"She taught me what a couple is," Bella chirped, grinning proudly. "Its when two people love each other more than they love anyone else and you feel safe and happy and you get bugs in your belly," she continued, still grinning like a fool. I was still half asleep so I didn't quite share her enthusiasm when I responded.

"That sounds just about right to me. Except I think you mean butterflies in your stomach," I teased, tickling her stomach. She giggled and lost the strength in her arms, dropping onto my chest. The sound of those bubbles and chimes woke me up completely, warmth washing through me. An all-out tickle fight broke out then, Bella squealing and laughing as she thrashed about, trying to get away from my relentless fingers. "Say uncle!" I commanded.

"I don't have an uncle!" she replied, trying to writhe free.

"Say it!"

"But I don't have an uncle! Jake plays this stupid game too! I won't say it! I'm not giving up!"

"Aha!" I shouted, tickling harder. "You're just playing dumb, you _know_ what uncle means!" Bella laughed harder, trying to deny it but I kept on tickling.

"Okay uncle! Uncle UNCLE!" she screamed, trying to slap my hands away. "You butthead," she panted, catching her breath as I did a victory dance beside her. "No dancing!" she pouted, throwing my pillow at me. Satisfied with the outcome of our game, I sat on the edge of the bed – I had rolled off moments before as she was slapping me – and she immediately came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my stomach, her cheek resting against my back. I sighed contentedly when I felt her lips brush against my skin. "Edward, will you take me to the beach to see Jake?" she asked, and my content little bubble burst right there and then.

"Sure Bella, we can do that today if you want. We're supposed to be in a heat wave starting today anyway," I replied, standing and shuffling over to my window, ripping the curtains open. Sunlight poured in, the heat already blazing through the glass. "Woah," I muttered, squinting against the brightness. Bella came up from behind me and wordlessly took my hand, just looking for affection. When my eyes adjusted to the light I saw that she was watching Emmett and Rosalie kissing by their car.

"What are they doing?" she asked, her head tilted curiously. She didn't take her eyes off them. The way her little brow furrowed as she watched them was almost comical. It was like she was trying to figure out a puzzle.

"They're kissing."

"That's not a kiss," she argued, turning to me and looking at me like I was some kind of idiot. She leaned over and pressed her lips to my cheek. "That's a kiss."

"You're right," I nodded, moving away from the window to save myself feeling nauseous. "But there are different kinds of kissing," I explained, pulling the covers back over the bed and smoothing them out. Bella joined me, putting my pillows back in place.

"Like there are different kinds of love?" she asked, handing me the shirt I'd been searching for.

"Exactly. They're kissing the way couples kiss."

"So kissing someone means that you love them, and the different ways you kiss them means you love them a certain way?" she asked, trying to make sense of it all.

"Yeah I guess so. Bella I'm not good at explaining this stuff to you."

"But I wanna know!"

"I'll tell you another time – when I've had coffee," I promised, hoping she would drop it for now and forget to bring it up again. I wasn't entirely comfortable with the subject. Not when I felt this way about her. "Are we going to see Jake or what?" I asked, distracting her before she could argue with me.

Bella squealed excitedly and showered my cheek with kisses before turning on her heel and calling out to Alice – her personal stylist. I picked up my cell phone.


	11. Wonderful World Part Two

**Okay people, I promised it and here it is! The second part of Chapter 9! **

**This chapter was particularly hard to write... and I still have bugs in my belly about it ;)**

**Enjoy!**

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Bella stood waiting at the door with a picnic basket in one hand and our towels in the other. She was bouncing with excitement at the prospect of going outside after long lecture from Esme about the conditions of her leaving the house with me. There was no way we were going to have any problems; we called Jacob ahead of time and because his father was the unspoken leader of the Quileutes they would all heed the warning to stay away from the beach today. Their blind obedience has always amazed me and I'll never stop being feeling that way – there's hardly ever a time I obey something that isn't explained to me first.

Bella skipped over to Esme's car and waited patiently, swinging her arms and looking up at the sky. I took her by the shoulders and steered her over to my car.

"What is this?" she asked, running a finger over the passenger-side door.

"This is my car, hop in," I grinned, opening the door for her and placing our things in the back seat. She grinned back and slid in, still bouncing and examining the interior of the Volvo happily.

"Ready?" I asked, switching on the engine.

"Yes!"

"Let's see how fast this car can go," I winked. She smiled impishly and we took off, bubbles and chimes bouncing off the walls of my speeding car.

***

"You're getting it in my mouth!"

"Be quiet and stay still! You are my toy!"

"Why couldn't Edward be your toy?" Jacob whined, now up to his neck in sand. Bella ignored him as we patted on top of his shoulders. He sighed, submitting to her wishes yet again. "And when am I allowed out, Bells?" he asked with a grumble.

"Never!" she cackled, skipping away and planting herself on the blanket Jacob had brought with him. "Its lunchtime!" she called, waving me over and poking her tongue out at Jacob.

"How am I supposed to eat?" he shouted, frowning at her even though I knew he secretly loved watching her being this mischievous. Who couldn't love it?

"You're not supposed to! You don't get any food! Food is only for people, not for toys!" she replied, not missing a beat. I doubled over with laughter until I saw the lunch she'd packed for us.

"Bella what is this?"

"Lunch!" she chirped, passing me a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. Apparently her idea of a picnic consisted of gummi bears and peanut butter straight from the jar. Jacob broke free and shook the sand off, plopping down on the other side of Bella and taking his jar with a look that said 'just roll with it'.

So we ate our jars of peanut butter and drank our soda, then Bella brought out the gummi bears for dessert. She had the red bag, the yellow bag and the green bag ready for us. She handed Jacob and I our respective bags of green and yellow and cheerily dug into her own as we chatted about everything and nothing.

A few minutes in, Jacob asked Bella for a red one and was met with a scandalised 'NO'. Looking mutinous, he reached towards her bag.

"Don't..." she warned. He inched closer. "You'd better not!" she warned again, moving the bag closer to her stomach. He quickly swiped a gummi bear. "Don't eat it!" she cried, looking positively terrified as Jacob raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth. "Don't!" she cried one more time before the gummi bear disappeared into his mouth. Jacob threw Bella a smug smirk as she let out a horrified squeak. "THAT IS NOT MY FRIEND!"

The two of us guys roared with laughter as Bella sat there pouting, arms folded over her chest looking completely and utterly offended at the entire situation.

"Stop laughing at me!" she demanded, her pout growing with every snort of ours. After a minute to compose ourselves, we were still giggling slightly.

"That's not your friend?" Jacob repeated, failing to keep the laughter from his voice. Bella just glared at him and the sight of her trying to evil eye someone made me laugh again.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" she screeched in a perfect impression of Esme. "You stop laughing at me right now!"

"Or what? It won't be your friend?" I teased, smirking at her and standing to shake some of the sand out of my hair that'd found its way in while I was rolling around in hysterics.

Without warning, Bella moved into a crouch and pounced right onto my chest, pinning me down. I had always thought of sand as a soft thing. It's not all that soft when you're knocked down on it. She held me down by my shoulders, and I could see in her the jungle girl I'd met what seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Apologise," she growled.

"Bella don't be mad, we're just playing," I said, a little worried by her tone and expression. She seemed genuinely angry, and man was she _strong_! I couldn't move beneath her.

"Don't laugh at me," she warned, pushing down on my shoulders until it really hurt before releasing me and storming off towards the water. Jacob and I shared a stunned look.

"What the fuck?" he asked, helping me up.

"I have no idea," I breathed, gaping in her direction. She was standing with her arms folded; glaring at the waves as though they'd personally offended her in some way. "Has she ever...?"

"Not ever. She's pounced before but it's always been a playful kind of punishment. That looked painful, dude."

"It was," I admitted, wincing slightly as I rubbed my left shoulder. I sighed and made my way over to apologise to her.

"Go away," she grumbled, though she didn't protest when I took her hand.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I said as sincerely as possible. She turned to face me and her expression was pained. I wanted to stab myself in the foot for doing that to her, no matter how hard she'd just pinned me to the ground.

"Everyone always laughs at me," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "I still can't speak right."

"Well it takes everyone a long time to learn how to speak, Bella. It takes babies _years_ to learn," I told her, pulling her into a hug and thanking whoever was up there that she wrapped her arms around me too.

"But I'm not a baby," she countered.

"I know, Bella, but you're learning everything like it's all brand new. And until we can figure out who you are and why this happened to you-"

"Jasper knows who I am," she blurted. I pulled out of our hug and held her at arm's length. What the hell did she mean by that?

"What-?"

"Hey are we feeling better, baby Bells?" Jacob called, tackling her and throwing her over his shoulder. I wanted to make him go away, but the sound of Bella's squeals and giggles as he spun her around were too happy for me to do that. But I wouldn't forget. And I wouldn't let it go.

***

"Can we talk to you for a moment?"

Esme had me pulled aside in the hallway. I followed her silently into Carlisle's office where they assumed their 'serious talk' positions. I didn't like the look of it.

"What's up?" I asked, eyeing them both suspiciously.

"Where are the keys to your car?" Carlisle asked; his expression sombre. I didn't quite get how my car had become the topic of conversation. As far as I knew, I had been given the all-clear to take Bella to the beach.

"In the key bowl by the door. What is this-"

"I'll be hanging onto them for three weeks," he interrupted. My jaw hit the floor.

"What? Why?"

"Edward I saw the way you took off with Bella," Esme said softly, looking disappointed in me. I rolled my eyes. This whole thing was ridiculous.

"Okay so I drove a little too fast. I won't do it again. I'll consider myself warned," I argued, standing to leave. Carlisle called me to attention.

"Edward, this is not a warning. That is _my_ car that I allow you to use and if you don't use it _responsibly_ you don't use it at all. Are we clear, son?"

I stared at him with the fiery hate of a thousand suns. I wanted him to burn on the spot. I knew what this was about. He was just asserting his power over me – reminding me that he was in every position to take everything away from me. And I knew that I just had to suck it up otherwise I'd have to leave Bella sooner than I absolutely had to.

"Yeah," I answered. "We're clear, _Dr. Cullen_."

***

Later that night, Bella snuck into my room with a tub of ice-cream and two spoons. She had heard somewhere that people use ice-cream to cheer other people up. It would have been a lie to say that my moody wasn't completely sour since the talk with Esme and Carlisle, and only Bella's efforts made me feel even remotely better. She told me stupid jokes, she made faces at me... she even pounced Emmett just for my entertainment.

I leaned over and switched on the lamp, making room for her on my bed. She looked so adorable in her little grey Mickey Mouse shorts and green tank top, her hair all loose falling down to her waist in chocolate spirals. I found a shirt on the floor and slipped it on but didn't bother to do up the buttons, it covered enough to save her the discomfort she felt since she'd learned all about nudity and sex and all that junk.

"Does ice-cream fix it?" Bella asked, licking her spoon and not looking at me for all the concentration it required.

"Yeah, it does," I lied, putting on a smile because it was just so goddamn beautiful of her to try and make me feel better even though she had no idea why I was upset in the first place. And she didn't ask because somehow I knew that she sensed that I didn't want to talk about it.

"Good," she grinned. "I wanna ask you something about what we were talking about before," she said and I did my victory dance in my head because that meant I didn't have to bring up the Jasper thing with her. She was going to bring it up herself.

"Go ahead," I said, scooping up another spoonful of cookies'n'cream.

"This whole love/kiss thing is still confusing me," she began and I had to stop myself from groaning. So she wasn't going to talk about Jasper but she was going to bring this up when I already told her I didn't want to talk about it? "Don't be mad, you're the best teacher I have. Carlisle is grumpy and Esme just doesn't word things the same way you do," she said, holding up one hand even though I was never going to argue. I gestured for her to continue. "I've decided that we should be a couple."

I choked on my ice-cream.

"What?" I spluttered while she patted my back, completely unphased by my outburst.

"Well I love you the most out of everyone," she said, matter-of-factly. "And that's how you know you should be a couple. Today on the beach when you held onto me while you were swimming in the water I got bugs in my belly. So we should be a couple," she finished, nodding definitively and taking a mouthful of ice-cream.

"You got butterflies in your stomach?" I asked, my heart beating so hard in my chest that I could hear it echoing in my ears. I never thought, not in a million years, that she would ever say something like that to me. Especially not the way that she just did. It was like it just was and it made perfect sense and that's all there was to it. No shy. No blushing. Nothing like that at all. It just was. It was so perfectly innocent, and so perfectly Bella.

"Yeah," she nodded, paying close attention to her spoon again. "And I know that if the whole world went away and you were still here with me then I'd be okay, which means that I love you the most. Do you love me the most?" I tore my eyes away from her spoon because she was looking at me now with the same curiosity as when she asked me what we were going to do on any given day.

"Yes," I answered softly, looking down into my lap.

"Why does that make you sad?" she asked, scooting closer and lifting my chin just like I'd lifted hers so many times.

"It doesn't make me sad, I just..." I trailed off, sighing and brushed her hand away. She dipped her head to catch my eye.

"You should be happy. Alice said sometimes people don't ever find the person they love the most. But you found me," she said softly and I straightened up because she was right. In all her simplicity and innocence and naivety she was absolutely right. I should be happy, not embarrassed, to find one girl that I loved more than anything. And I should be more than just happy that she was sitting here telling me that she loved me too.

"You're right," I told her, nudging her shoulder softly with mine. She grinned and moved the ice-cream to my bedside table. "What are you doing?" I asked, confused as she climbed under the blankets and laid her head on my pillow.

"We should get some sleep," she shrugged, tugging on my arm.

"You have to sleep in your room or we'll both be in trouble," I told her, pulling her back into a sitting position.

"No, because Esme said-"

"Bella we can't be a couple right now," I said over her, knowing what she was getting at. There was no way in hell that Carlisle and Esme would allow us to live like a couple. Especially if they thought sex was involved. "When you're a bit older and we can have our own place, okay?"

"But you said-"

"Bella I do love you okay?" She looked sceptical. "_I do_," I insisted. "But no one is going to understand if we're a couple."

"Because I'm different?" she asked so softly that it broke my heart.

"Yeah, Bella, because you're different." I didn't want to lie to her, as much as it hurt me to tell her something like that.

"But you love me even though I'm different?"

"Definitely. More than anything," I promised, taking her hands in mine and massaging them gently.

"Prove it," she said, and when I glanced up at her she had this strong conviction in her eyes. It was like fire.

"How?" I croaked, though I already knew the answer.

"I want a real kiss," she replied, confirming my fears. Should I do this? _Could_ I do this?

"Bella, I don't think-"

"I don't think it's very fair that everyone else gets real kisses and I don't."

"Jake doesn't get them."

"Yes he does he told me there's a girl called Leah that he kisses all the time."

I cursed Jacob for being so goddamn honest with her. When did he even have time to tell her these things? Because that particular story _had_ to be new.

"Well I don't get them," I justified, but then Bella crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at me.

"What. About. Tanya?"

And I decided to add Emmett to my hit list.

"What about her?" I squeaked, looking everywhere but at Bella, who was still scowling.

"You even did that baby-making thing with her!" Bella cried, throwing her hands in the air and looking so utterly frustrated that I was playing dumb that it was funny. Her eyes were huge and her cheeks were red and her eyebrows had shot up so fair they were barely visible under the hair that had flown into her face. I shushed her, chuckling and putting a hand over her mouth. She grumbled something incoherent, scowling again. I removed my hand and she gave a huff before pushing her hair behind her ears. "That is gross, Edward Cullen," she scolded, pointing a finger at me. I laughed and pulled her into my lap. She rested her head on my shoulder and played with the buttons on my shirt. I was forgiven, I could tell. "She's really not gonna have a baby, is she?"

"No there are ways of doing that without making a baby," I mumbled, not at all comfortable talking about sex with Bella. The way I felt about her was purely... pure, I guess for lack of a better word. I didn't want to throw her down like I did other girls. Not that I ever thought of other girls when Bella was around. She was just simply the love of my life. End of story. Nothing sexual about it.

"But why would you?"

"Because it's fun."

"It doesn't _sound_ fun," she argued, pulling a face as she continued to play, now with my collar.

"Change the subject, Bella."

"Fine. I want my kiss now, please," she grinned, spinning in my lap until she was facing me. I rolled my eyes and lifted her off me, repositioning her opposite me. She wasn't going to let this go. And whatever, I wanted to kiss her anyway.

"You don't tell anyone about it, not even Jacob," I stressed, bopping her nose with my finger for emphasis. She nodded and leaned forward. "Shut your eyes," I instructed, and once she did I looked up to the heavens and I fucking prayed. I don't know what for. I just felt the need to beg for... something... I dunno for it all to go right and for it not to be gross and for us not to get caught.

Then I looked back down at her and she looked just as nervous as I did, leaning towards me with her eyes shut and her cheeks flaming red. She touched her stomach briefly and I knew she had bugs in her belly again. Smiling at that thought, I took her flushed little face in my hands and I brushed my lips against hers. She gasped slightly, but relaxed after a second and returned the pressure. I pulled away a little and went back in, and I felt her sigh, her fingers finding hairs at the back of my neck. I sighed too, because it just felt so... _right_. I didn't do anything more, pulling away after a couple more seconds. Bella was smiling into her lap – it was the first time she'd ever been shy. She glanced up and took my hands, holding them over her heart.

"Feel that?" she asked. I nodded, it was racing beneath my fingers. "You made the butterflies move up to my heart."


	12. Funhouse Part One

**Hey everyone!**

**I can't believe the amount of support and love I'm getting from everyone! I really cannot thank you readers enough. My inbox brings me such happiness.**

**WE MADE IT TO OVER 150 REVIEWS!**

**So to celebrate I'm announcing the introduction of a playlist, which can be found on my profile. The playlist isn't really so much as playlist as it is a list of the songs the chapters are named after. Most of them are pretty self-explanatory but I've picked certain versions of certain songs because they illustrate the atmosphere of the chapter in one way or another. **

**A special shout to Nat again! You still have your five red gummi bears waiting for you, bumface!**

**Also to ToTheLastStar... I heart you so freakin' much. Your reviews make me smile. I have heaps of experience with little kids, which is where I get most of my inspiration for Bella. Also "Uncle" is a game... in some other countries they call it "Mercy". One person hurts or tickles another and when the person being hurt or tickled surrenders they shout "Uncle". **

**Don't forget to read Stripped by punkfarie and This Sort Of Thing Just Doesn't Exist by iheartthedoctor. **

**Again, I love you all! You all make my life with your reviews and support!**

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_Nothing is ever going to be the same. _

_Did I do the right thing?_

_Why did I let her talk me into it?_

_Why did it take so little for her to talk me into it?_

_Why do I feel like this is going to go horribly wrong?_

All of these thoughts and a thousand more were had been whirring through my head ever since Bella skipped her way out of my room last night. Now I could hear her stealthily making her way across to me and I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes and see her bright eyes and dazzling smile. I knew she was going to be over the moon this morning.

"EDWARD!" she squealed, launching herself at me and bouncing slightly as her legs hit the mattress. My mouth filled with hair as she buried her head into my neck, shifting slightly and getting all comfy laying there on top of me.

"Morning," I sighed, patting her unruly curls down, arms encircling her. She lifted her head and I spotted a bit of chocolate on her cheek. She'd obviously had Nutella on toast this morning. I wiped it off and kissed her forehead, and she tilted her head up and kissed me right on the mouth. There was a part of me that wanted to hold her close and just lie there all lazy, just gently kissing her and telling her how much I loved her all day... but there was a slightly bigger part of me feeling sick about it all. She was too... _young_ for this scene – too innocent. I was stealing her innocence. It was wrong. It had to stop now.

"Bella-"

"You're the _best_," she sighed, burying her head in my neck once more. I felt her smiling against my skin and I cringed because she had just interrupted me telling her that I wasn't going to kiss her anymore, and she was on such a happy buzz. I pushed the thought of verbalising those particular feelings to the side and opted for just... stopping. She would eventually get it if I just didn't do it anymore, but how was I going to stop _her_ from doing it? Would it hurt her too much if I pushed her away? The only thing I could do was try. Starting from that moment, I wasn't going to kiss her anymore. At least not until I knew she understood the concept of relationships and sex and love and all of that stuff... as much as anyone could, anyway. I sighed and breathed in that mysterious scent of jasmine, roses and Doritos and shutting my eyes in the blissful peace that only she could bring me.

"You are too," I whispered, shifting to kiss the tip of her nose. She went to give me a 'real' kiss but I pulled away. "I love you," I told her, hopefully distracting her enough to forget to be hurt by the fact that I rejected her kiss.

"I love you," she echoed pressing her forehead to mine and holding my face in her hands. We stayed like that for a while – I lost track of time and only paid attention to the feeling of her soft skin against me, her warm breath on my face, her heart beating against my chest.

Someone broke us out of our world with three hard wraps on the door. In a panic, I shoved Bella away. She gave a squeak and tumbled in a mass of limbs onto the floor. She stood and grumbled, rubbing her head as she made her way to the door and flung it open.

"Go and wait for me in the office, Bella, you're late for lessons." I saw Carlisle's stern expression from behind Bella and I wanted to jump up between them – to protect her from his malice. The way her head hung broke my heart and she brushed past him and glided away. Carlisle turned his gaze on me. "Don't make her late again."

***

**BPOV**

"I'm not sure this is the right time. She's formed relationships here."

"It's now or never. We need to know how much she remembers."

"I don't think she remembers anything at all."

"Well we need to know for sure."

I leaned against the doorframe, staring in with the door only open the tiniest bit. I wanted to call Edward down so he could hear this. Jasper was talking on the phone again, and now I could hear who was on the other end. It was more than one person and it sounded busy wherever they were – there was a lot of background noise.

"We're going to question her right now."

"Let us know."

Jasper turned off the speakerphone and I waited a couple of seconds before knocking on the door. He still jumped in shock – like he'd been caught. If only he knew how caught he really was. Edward wasn't going to stand for this once I told him. I gave him a look that told him so, but of course he didn't understand.

Carlisle came in a couple of minutes later with three mugs of coffee. I didn't like coffee, but I took the mug anyway, blowing on the steaming liquid and taking my place across the deck from him and Jasper.

"Bella today isn't much of a lesson. I won't take up too much of your time," Carlisle promised, smiling over at me. I didn't like his smile. It wasn't honest. "Today is more of a quick quiz for you."

"Okay," I nodded. "What's the topic?"

"You are."

"Well that's easy," I smiled, thinking maybe today wouldn't be so bad. All I had to do was answer some questions about myself and then I would be free to see Edward and then Edward would kick Jasper's butt for talking to people about me. Carlisle reached under the desk and pulled out some kind of machine. Jasper came over to me and started sticking white circles on me. "What are you doing?" I asked, confused. Why did I need this stuff to answer questions?

"This machine will give us some extra information," Jasper said. I still didn't get it.

"I don't understand..."

"Bella, this machine will make sure that your answers are right."

"Can't _you_ tell me if they're right? You know me." The idea of this whole thing was starting to bother me. Carlisle ignored me and turned on the machine. Little pens started scribbling on paper, but they only made patterns, not words. I couldn't understand how this was supposed to tell them anything, but then again I didn't understand how they could read my blood either.

"Okay are you ready?" Carlisle asked.

"I guess so..." I mumbled, looking into my lap. I didn't like this one little bit. I saw him turn to Jasper and Jasper nodded, holding his own pen and paper.

"What is your name?"

"Bella." That one was easy. I even knew why my name was Bella. It was because that is what Edward decided suited me best – because he thought I was beautiful.

"What is your last name?" I frowned at Carlisle, who simply stared expectantly. What did he mean my last name? I didn't have one!

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Cullen, I guess."

"What was your name before you lived with us?"

"I don't know. I guess I didn't have one."

"Where do you live?"

"I live here, in this house."

"Where did you live before you lived here?"

"Carlisle you know I don't know that!" I cried, leaning forward. What was _wrong_ with him today?

"How old are you?"

"I... I don't know!"

"Who are your parents?"

"You and Esme," I mumbled, tears falling from my eyes and down my cheeks. I didn't like this. The way he was asking these questions was like he didn't know me at all! It was like we had just met and I was trying to lie to him. Jasper kept glancing down at the machine and scribbling notes down. "What is Jasper writing?"

"You're here to answer questions today, not ask them. You ask questions every other lesson we have."

"But this isn't a less-" Carlisle slammed his fist on the desk, making me jump. I cried. "Stop it!"

"Stop talking, Bella and just answer these questions! Can you do that or not?" he boomed, making me shrink back into my chair. I wanted to fold myself up and disappear.

"Not without talking," I whispered. Jasper chuckled and rolled his eyes, Carlisle sighed.

"Moving on," he muttered, clearing his throat. "Who are your parents?"

"I already told you. You and Esme."

"Who were your parents before you met us?"

"I don't remember any parents before you."

"Why were you in the forest?"

"I don't know."

"How did you get there?" I closed my eyes and thought hard. I thought back to the earliest thing I could remember. The first thing I remember is pain. A lot of pain. I screamed, my back arching off the damp ground and then curling into itself. I cried. Then my boys came. That is all I could remember.

"I don't know. All I know is that I was hurt."

"Who hurt you?"

"I don't know. It just hurt a lot."

"What hurt?"

"Everything."

"Why did it hurt?"

"I don't know."

"Where did you come from?"

"I don't know."

"Who are you?"

"Bella."

"_What_ are you?"

My heart stopped. My heart broke. Dr Cullen and the rest of my family had always worked so hard to make me feel like I was one of them, but in the back of my mind I was always so sure that I was different to them. I _had_ to be different to them because it was the only thing that made sense. But they always assured me that I was just like them, but that something very wrong had happened to me and that's why I _seemed_ different.

Now that he had asked me that question, I knew he never truly believed that I was like them at all. He always thought I was different, and he was trying to find out how different I was so he could tell those people and they could take me away.

"I am Bella," I answered, because my name was the only thing I was sure about.


	13. Funhouse Part Two

**OH MY GOD, IT'S ANGSTAPALOOZA!**

**Yeah you can use that one if you want ;) LOL**

**So here is part 2... a little longer than I thought it would be which is awesome. Also gone in a different direction that I thought but hey that's how these things go. My original plan wasn't dramatic enough for my liking so Carlisle decided to... be a dick, I guess LOL**

**Also, please let me know what you think of the playlist!**

**So go ahead and enjoy this chapter! Enjoy it like I would enjoy Rob shirtless at the beach on a hot summer day... **

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I let the steam and hot water running down my back calm me. My eyes were set on the floor tiles as I leaned against the wall, my forehead resting on my arm, but I didn't really see them. I was lost in my thoughts, and eager to see Bella again. She had become an addiction. Every time I wasn't with her, I felt pulled to her – just like the day I was running out into the forest. It was her all along that pulled me there. There was an invisible rope holding me to her and right now it was too stretched. Without realising it, my free hand had reached out and twitched in her direction. I pulled it back and stood upright, running both hands through my hair and over my face before turning the water off.

There was a knock at the door.

"Naked!" was my gruff call. I didn't feel like talking to anyone unless it was Bella, and I knew she'd still be in her lesson. It had only been ten minutes since she left.

"Edward it's important, get dressed."

Alice sounded upset on the other side of the door and I paused to think of why she would come to me rather than anyone else, and then I heard another voice and I realised that she wasn't alone. Frowning, I pulled on some jeans over my boxers and opened the door, still drying my hair with the towel. Rosalie, Alice and Emmett were all standing there, worried as fuck. That made _me_ worried as fuck.

"What's wrong?" I asked. They pulled me into my room and shut the door. Emmett leaned against it, ensuring I couldn't leave. What were they planning? Did they know about Bella and me? Were they going to collectively kick my ass for it?

"Something is going on in that office with Bella," Rosalie started.

"There was a bang in the office-"

"And Bella's crying," Alice finished. I jumped up from my bed and headed to the door, only to be stopped by Emmett.

"Get out of the way," I growled, just itching to get in there and kill someone.

"Edward, Jasper is in there as well..." Alice's quiet voice stopped me and made me turn to face her. She sounded so helpless. "He knows something about her, I know it. I know him too well for him to hide anything from me. But he doesn't want to hurt her, he cares-"

"Alice if he cared about her why would he hide it?" Emmett asked, and I dropped to the floor, knowing they were here to discuss the matter rather than let me kick some ass over it. I let out a disappointed sigh and glared in the general direction of the office. "I'm worried for her," he admitted, sliding down the door and sitting on the floor as well. Rosalie joined him and wrapped an arm around him.

"At home, he's always locked in his room. Look what I found," Rosalie added, holding out a sheet of paper to me. It had Bella's picture stapled to it and a whole bunch of information about her. It had a bunch of dates, probably approximating the date we found her – they were all around that date but I knew which one was right. It had her measurements, her hair and eye colour, and a bunch of other numbers that I didn't understand. On the bottom it had a Seattle address.

"He's sent this to someone, Edward," Alice sniffled. I shuffled over to her and held her close.

"It's okay," I told her, even though we all knew that it was a total lie. I turned to Rose. "When did you find that?"

"A few days ago."

That was a relief. If he had sent it before that, then whoever received it would have taken her by now if that were their intention. But if their intent wasn't to take her from us, then why was Jasper contacting them? Why was he keeping it from us?

"Bella heard him talking to someone on the phone," I told them, stroking Alice's hair as she cried on my shoulder. It must have been hardest for her, who loved Jasper more than anyone could care to imagine. He had helped her through her darkest times and supported her when she needed him the most. He adored her and practically worshipped the ground she walked on, but for him to be treating Bella like this and putting us all in danger... it would be hardest for her to accept that. But she had, probably because she knew how easily the people you love could turn around and slap you in the face with betrayal. "She says he knows who she is."

"Fuck," Emmett breathed, his hands curling into fists. "What the fuck is going on?"

Another knock on the door. I was sick to fucking death of people knocking on my doors today.

"What?" I barked.

"It's me."

It was Jacob. Emmett stood and let him in. He took one look at the lot of us and his usually cheery face fell.

"Tell me everything."

***

**BPOV**

"That'll be enough for today, Bella," Carlisle told me. Jasper started pulling the white things off me and I just sat there, still crying. They didn't care. They'd asked their questions and gotten their answers and that was all they had wanted from me.

I wanted to run upstairs to Edward and never let him go. I didn't understand any of this. I didn't understand why they were treating me this way when all I had ever done was try and be good for them – try and learn and understand everything as fast as possible and mostly to try and remember things that seemed important, like why I had no idea where I came from or who I was before Edward and Emmett and Jasper found me. It didn't make any sense to me.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked Jasper, who stopped and looked me in the eye. I don't know what he saw, but he turned away from me cringing. Was I a monster? "I know you know what I am, Jasper Hale. Tell me," I demanded, getting up and following him to the other side of the office as he threw away the sticky white dots. He didn't answer me. It was as if I didn't even exist. "Jasper!" I yelled, trying to get his attention. "Tell me right now!"

"Stop that!" Carlisle cried. "That is no way to speak to him!"

"He's ignoring me!"

"He doesn't know what you're talking about!"

"Yes he does! And so do you! You know as well, don't you?" I accused, glaring at him now. I was so angry I couldn't even control my body. I was shaking from head to toe. How could they stand there and lie to me? They thought I was smart enough to fool the family but stupid enough to believe that I had them fooled as well. They thought I was trying to trick them, when they were the ones tricking everyone else. "You both know what I am and you're making me answer all these stupid questions because you think I know the answers! Well I'm not a liar, you are! I hate you!" I spat, pushing him by the shoulder when he came towards me with his hand out, probably to put over my mouth to shut me up. Suddenly there was a rush of air and a great stinging pain on my face as his hand collided with my skin. I fell backwards into my chair, knocking it over and falling with it to the floor. I felt blood trickle down my chin, but I couldn't move. I just sat there while Carlisle continued to scowl at me, panting in all his rage. Even Jasper was shocked. He hurried out of the room as if I hadn't just been hit. My eyes followed him in a silent plea. I wanted Edward.

"Clean yourself up," Carlisle muttered, turning on his heel and walking out.

***

**EPOV**

"So why aren't we in there?" Jacob repeated, causing Alice to sigh in an exasperated manner.

"What can we do, Jacob?"

"I can think of a few things I'd-"

"Jacob we'd all get kicked out of this place, told never to return and then Bella would be stuck with them all alone," Emmett explained. I didn't think I would ever get used to him being the voice of reason. Jacob and I were both seeing red, but he at least could look at the situation rationally.

There was a loud bang from downstairs. I jumped up and so did Emmett – he held my shoulders and steered me to the bed. Rosalie quickly dashed out of the room, ignoring Emmett's protests.

She was gone for only a minute when Jacob called us over to the window he was looking out of. I stopped my furious pacing and joined him along with everyone else. Carlisle and Jasper were getting into my Volvo. I watched, seething as they drove away and then I sprinted over to the office, but Bella and Rosalie were nowhere to be seen. Bella's chair was overturned.

"If they hurt her..." Alice's voice was in my ear, and she was on the brink of tears again. I reached back and took her hand, just staring at the legs of the chair my Bella would have been sitting in only moments before.

"I'll find them," Jacob murmured, quickly turning around and heading upstairs again, calling Bella's name.

***

**BPOV**

When Rosalie found me I was still on the floor. Without saying anything, she helped me up and took me into the laundry.

"They won't find us here," she said softly, and for a moment I was scared. Why wouldn't she want anyone to find us? But then she wet a towel and pressed it to my lip. She brushed my hair back and tied it with her own hair tie. "Was it my brother?" she asked, and it took me a second to realise she was talking about Jasper. I had forgotten that they were twins because they were so different and Carlisle had told me that twins were the same. Kind of. But not.

"No, it was Carlisle," I answered, knowing she meant to ask who had hit me. She only nodded. We sat in silence for a little while, with her just pressing that cool cloth to my lip. It felt nice and I wasn't sure why she was doing this for me. I thought she didn't like me.

"Bella, I'm sorry I haven't been the nicest person to you," she began, answering my thoughts. "It's really only because it was so easy for you to be here when it was so hard for everyone else. Do you understand?"

I shook my head. Nothing about that made any sense at all. Rosalie sighed and wiped away some more of the blood from my chin.

"You know that Esme and Carlisle aren't their real parents, right?"

"Right."

"Well, when they moved here... all of them found it really hard to fit in and adjust... to get used to one another, you know?" she continued. I nodded. That sounded like how I felt. "Especially for Emmett," she went on. "When Emmett lived with his parents, they used to beat him up. Did you know that? They used to beat him so bad that he could barely walk. Then one day he was camping with them, and a bear came close to their tent and his parents took off. Just left him there. He thought he was going to die! But the bear, by some miracle, didn't even notice him. And he ran and ran and ran as fast as his bruised little legs would take him and then.... well, you know the rest," she shrugged. I had no idea that Emmett had been beaten up by his parents. I would be too scared to even try and hit him. Pouncing was different – pouncing, I was good at. "Anyway when he came here... he was so afraid of everything. And then with Alice and Edward... it was so hard for him. To be frightened of everything you're supposed to call home. That's why he works out, I think. To make sure he looks as big as that grizzly so that no one thinks to beat him ever again. That bear saved him... that's why we've called the bar the grizzly," she grinned. "But deep down we know he's a teddy, isn't he?" she laughed and I laughed too because Emmett didn't remind me of a grizzly bear at all! Rosalie was right; he was like one of those giant teddy bears you see on TV – the ones that boys win for their girlfriends at the carnival.

"So you didn't like me because it was hard for them but not for me?" I asked, still trying to grasp it all.

"I think that's the easiest way to explain it, yes," she nodded, frowning a little. "But for a while now I've been watching you and you struggle just like them. Only you don't let it show very much. You try to keep it all inside. But Bella if you ever feel scared or anything, you can talk to me okay? I promise I'll be here for you just like today... any time you need me."

She hugged me and I sobbed into her shoulder. I didn't want to let go of the new friend I had, but sooner rather than later we had to move because we could hear Alice screaming for us. It sounded like she was crying and we didn't want to make her upset.

"We should go," I suggested, sliding off the top of the washing machine. Rosalie held me in place.

"Hang on just one sec, I'm gonna cover up that cut for you," she said and she lead me quickly to the bathroom where she raided Alice's make-up to make sure my lip looked normal. As she did it, she urged me to stay quiet about being hit for at least a little while so that the boys didn't... 'go ballistic' is I think the term she used for it. She didn't want them to beat Carlisle up or be too mean to him otherwise none of them would be allowed to live here. That would mean I would be alone with him, which I definitely did not want.

When I looked normal again, aside from my 'puffy' eyes, we emerged from the bathroom found Alice.

"Oh thank god!" she cried, yanking me into a big hug. "Are you okay? Why weren't you two answering me?"

"Sorry," I mumbled, looking down at my feet. I wasn't very good at the whole lying thing so I left it to Rosalie to make a story up for us.

"We were just having a talk to make Bella feel better. And I needed to clear some things up with her," she winked and Alice nodded as if she understood that to mean something special. I admired Rosalie's talent. She was a pro at being dishonest. I learned that it wasn't all about telling lies, but about leaving out certain bits of the truth as well. In any case I knew who I would go to for lessons if I ever needed to lie about anything.

"Were they horrible to you?" Alice asked me and I looked to Rosalie. I didn't know whether or not to answer that truthfully.

"They were unreasonably harsh with her, but she doesn't want to talk about it. We didn't even talk about it, really, did we?"

"No," I answered, shaking my head. "I don't feel like talking right now, Alice. I just want my Edward. Where is he?" I asked, sad that he wasn't here to cuddle me and make me feel better in that special way that only he knew how to do.

"He got upset when we couldn't find you. He went into the woods."

***

**EPOV**

"Edward, just chill for a second!"

I could hear Jacob and Emmett coming up behind me, and I just wanted to be left the fuck alone. Or to be with Bella. Either way, they weren't part of the goddamn equation, and I was in a dangerously foul mood. Where the fuck was Rosalie? Why had she taken my Bella away at a time when I so desperately needed to see that she was okay? I groaned loudly – actually it was more like a roar than a groan – and kicked at a fallen branch. It barely moved and it actually hurt my foot. Great. Now I was turning into a complete pussy.

"Here, let me move that for ya, bro..." Emmett said in a tone that I supposed was meant to be soothing. He moved the branch well out of the way and found a moss-covered log to sit on. Jacob sat beside him while I paced around, too furious to stay still.

"I'll fucking kill anyone who harms a single hair on her fucking head. I swear to god, I will murder anyone who even so much as-"

"Chill, Edward," Jacob cut in, rolling his eyes a little. It was so easy for him to be calm – he had his little fuck-stick waiting back home ready to give him all the love and affection in the world. Bella was my best and only source of love and affection – she was the only one I wanted to give my love and affection to. "I'm sure they're inside somewhere."

"Why are they hiding, then?" I dropped to the ground and started stabbing at random leaves with a twig. In my mind they weren't leaves, but something far less pleasant than that.

"They're probably doing something girly... eating ice-cream straight from the tub and bitching about how nasty and evil boys are," Jacob suggested. I looked up at that, suddenly reminded about the previous night. Before I could do anything about it, my cheeks flushed a deep scarlet colour.

"Dude, are you blushing?" Emmett asked. I frowned and stabbed more vigorously. "What the fuck?" he laughed. "Are you worried she might be bitching about her precious Eht-waht?" I ignored him and Jacob both while they chuckled away at my expense without even really knowing what the fuck was on my mind in the first place. "Come on, man, she totally worships you."

"I think he worships her, too," Jacob teased, throwing a piece of leaf at me and missing by a very fucking long way.

"Shut up, Jacob," I mumbled, causing them to laugh harder as my blush grew deeper.

"What are you gonna do when she's all grown up and wants to start dating boys, huh?" Emmett asked, waggling his eyebrows in that moronic way that he always did. "You won't be the only man in her life for long, she's gonna be a hottie and you know it."

"Shut up."

"Emmett, maybe you shouldn't-"

"And she'll come home and it'll be like she's asking her dad to go on a date with a boy from school and you'll be staring him down, polishing your proverbial shotgun-"

"Shut. The fuck. Up."

"-and then she'll come crying to you when he dumps her and she'll be telling you how you're the only guy she can trust but you're all like 'woah, back up' because thinking of her that way is kinda just sick and dirty and _wrong_-"

"I SAID SHUT UP, EMMETT! JUST SHUT UP!" I yelled, leaping to my feet and launching my stick to the ground. I started pacing again while Emmett sat in bewildered silence and Jacob just shook his head.

"I knew it," he smirked, and I knew exactly what he was talking about so I just fucking scowled in his direction. "Hey whatever, dude. I don't care. I just think it's a little bit on the weird side."

"What's on the weird side?" Emmett asked. I ignored him.

"It's not even like that, Jacob."

"What's not like that?"

"Then tell me how it is, Edward, because I'm very curious as to how you can justify something like that."

"Something like what?"

"Shut up, Emmett. Look, it's just... different."

"How?" I dropped back down to the floor, Jacob passed around cigarettes.

"The way I feel about her... it's just like... have you ever wanted to be with someone so much that nothing else matters? Nothing at all. It's like she's my air, my water... she's like... she's just _everything_ to me. I don't know how else to explain that and I know I sound like a big fucking pussy sitting here talking about _love_ or whatever but that's what it is. And it has nothing to do with sex. I wouldn't even _think_-"

"Wait, are you talking about _Bella_?" Emmett asked, momentarily dropping his cigarette but hastily picking it back up.

"Of course he is, idiot. Go on, Edward."

"Just take my word on it that I don't have the ability to even _think_ about taking advantage of her. She's innocent and naive and fragile and until she learns the important lessons that need to be learned I'm not going to be pursuing her in any way that could be deemed as inappropriate... anymore."

"Anymore?"

"Did you _deflower_ my little sister?" Emmett boomed, standing red-faced and looking like he was about to rip my head off. At least he was being passionate about something... too bad it was about killing me rather than Carlisle or Jasper.

"No!" I responded quickly, motioning for him to sit back down. "She told me that she loved me the most out of everyone in the entire world... then she asked me to kiss her. How was I supposed to say no to that?" I explained, sighing and feeling sicker the more I thought about it.

"So you made out with her?" Jacob asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"No it was just like... a prolonged peck on the lips."

"Prolonged?"

"I dunno... it lasted a few seconds."

They both looked at me, then looked at each other, then back at me, then back at each other. To anyone else it would have been like watching a very boring tennis match.

"Well... you're not gonna do it again, right?"

"No. My problem is stopping her from doing it."

Emmett burst into laughter at that and then went into insane descriptions of awkward moments where Bella might try to kiss me. I kept glancing behind me, hoping to hear bubbles and chimes through the trees so I knew it was okay for me to go home. I didn't want to go back there without her.

"I wonder if she even knows what making out is..." Emmett pondered.

"Thanks to you and Rose she does. She saw the two of you doing it."

"Did she want a demonstration from her love muffin?"

"Fuck off."

"Edward?"

It was Rosalie's voice. I had never been happier to hear it.

"Over here!" I called back, getting to my feet and heading in the general direction of the noise. Seconds later, Bella flew into my chest. I cursed at the force of the impact, immediately holding her close and burying my head in her hair. Rosalie smiled fondly at her before taking Emmett's hand and leading him back home. She would tell him everything, no doubt. I felt my shirt grow wet and I knew she was crying. "I'm here," I assured her. "I'm gonna make it better for you, Bella. No matter what it is that needs fixing, I'll take care of it," I swore, my fingers playing loosely in the ends of her hair. She sniffled and wiped her nose on me, which was kinda gross I have to admit, but whatever.

"They asked me all these questions and I had these sticky white dots-" she began and I stopped her right there.

"They made you take a lie detector test?"

"I don't know what it is. There was a machine making scribbles and Carlisle said it would tell him if my answers were right."

"What did they ask you, baby Bells?" Jacob asked, having come up behind her, holding onto her shoulder.

"Stupid questions that I don't know the answer to. Stuff about myself that I don't know. Stuff about before I lived with you. Carlisle yelled at me and punched the table," she mumbled, leaning against my chest and holding onto me tighter. I had a feeling there was more to it than that, but I would question her later when we were alone.

"How about I go get us some gummi bears and we can have a fun day?" Jacob suggested and Bella nodded , still hiding in my shirt and clinging to me. I hoisted her up by her waist and she wrapped her little legs around me so I could walk us home. As the leaves crunched under my feet and she played with my neck hair, I was brought back to that first day once more. I held her closer still, and she pressed tiny kisses to the spot on my collarbone where her lips were resting. She twisted her head to whisper in my ear.

"Don't let them get me."


	14. Nobody Knows

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Darkness and pain. It was all she could remember before the blinding light, the ground underneath me and those three sets of eyes – 'curious blue, tentative hazel and piercing green'. From the very first second she laid eyes on me she felt like we understood each other on a level that no one else could reach. She felt as though I knew her, and she knew me enough to know that I would be the one to take care of her. Just from a second's glance at me she knew these things – and every single second thereafter I just continued to prove her right.

All of this understanding, paired with the deep affection we felt for one another made it the hardest job in the world to keep a distance from Bella. But it was for the best. The closer I got to her, the deeper in love with her I was falling and I knew that she was in way over her head as well. Head over heels, as they say.

She gazed at me with such intense adoration it nearly knocked me off my feet. And I wasn't the only one who noticed the intensity of her stares, either. The entire household was watching in amusement at Bella's 'crush' on me. Everyone except Emmett who, along with Jacob, knew the truth – that I felt the exact same way about her. The only difference was that I could hide it well and I had the will to keep it from escalating.

I had taken certain measures to keep things under control – for example, she didn't come to my bedroom in the mornings anymore. As much as it killed me to miss out on our lazy morning kisses – to miss out on holding her close and burying my nose in her sweet-smelling hair – it wasn't fair to her to be thrown into the whole romance thing when she didn't really understand it.

Of course I didn't tell her that was my particular reason for keeping her away. She would only protest and insist that she did understand – then launch into an explanation that is deep and meaningful by Bella's standards but infantile and basic to the rest of the general population. In short, she would only further prove my point the more she tried to prove me wrong.

I tried not to be alone with her at all, which was hard because I would have to think up new excuses to have other people with us at all times. I mean, Emmett and Jacob were easy but the rest of them weren't so easy. And the truth would only upset them. How could I expect them to understand that my feelings for her weren't perverse in the slightest when all of my past history indicated that my interest in girls was purely sexual?

Bella didn't seem hurt at all by my behaviour. Mostly she just seemed confused. Her little brow would furrow and she'd tilt her head curiously when she snuggled against me on the couch and I wouldn't wrap my arms around her like normal. I started working at the bar and when I was gone Alice and the others kept her company. None of them ever said that she was feeling down or anything so I could only conclude that she either understood my distance or didn't mind. Neither of those options made a lot of sense considering that was _Bella_ we were talking about but nothing ever indicated her feeling any other way.

Until now.

***

**One day before...**

When I returned home from work Bella was in her room, apparently sleeping. I had a shower to wash off the smell of beer, smoke and sweat that lingered after a night mixing drinks for the young party animals of Forks and fell into bed feeling both refreshed and exhausted. I was sleep within seconds.

Sometime later – I don't know when – I heard the telltale sounds of Bella sneaking over. I rolled over, exaggerating my breathing and pretending to be in a deep sleep, but it didn't deter her – in fact I actually think I heard her sigh with relief when I let out a fake snore. She climbed in next to me, gently lifted my arm and secured it around her waist as she curled up to my chest. I must have tensed or something because she shushed me and told me it was okay, and to keep sleeping, but I couldn't let her spend the night so I sat up and turned the lamp on. I swivelled around to tell her to go back to bed but my voice caught in my throat when I saw the look in her eyes. It wasn't scared, surprised or angry; she simply looked sad. So heartbreakingly sad that I couldn't breathe or move or think.

Without saying a word, she stood and went back to her room. I was paralysed for a moment or so, but I eventually got up and followed her so that I could take that pain away. I hated myself for putting that look in her eyes – she had done nothing but what I had always encouraged her to do and what the hell was going through my head that I would just rip it all away from her without proper explanation? She needed and deserved to know what was going on because none of this was her fault and she was the one suffering the most. On top of that, I knew Carlisle and Jasper were still bothering her during her lessons but she never breathed a word – something or someone had her scared to open up to any of us and it was wrong. But how was she supposed to feel like she could trust me when I was keeping secrets from her? I opened the door, steeling myself as I closed it behind me. I heaved a sigh and turned to face her.

Bella was sitting on her bed in her fluffy pale pink robe. Her hair was in a long loose rope hanging over her shoulder and she was hugging the big stuffed wolf Jake had bought for her after that first bad experience in the office. I think she'd called it Korben after that guy in The Fifth Element.

"Hi Edward."

Her voice was thick and full of sorrow. She didn't look at me.

"Hey Bells." I crept over and sat opposite her. She still didn't look up and I wasn't about to force her to look at me if she didn't want to so I trained my eyes on her purple blanket and fiddled with the embroidery. "Look, Bella..." I began, trailing off because I had no fucking clue how to start this conversation.

"I'm sorry," she interrupted. I was stunned by her apology my eyes darted up but they didn't meet hers because she was still staring at the wolf. "I shouldn't have snuck in," she continued, taking advantage of my silence. "I only wanted to cuddle with you. You never cuddle me anymore. I miss it," she finished, the last part so soft that I almost didn't hear it.

"I know I haven't been cuddling you enough, Bella, but I just don't-"

"It's okay, I get it," she cut in.

"You do?" I asked, frowning. She looked up at me then, hugging her wolf just a little harder and biting her lip at she nodded at me. She looked scared now, and I wondered what the hell could be going through her innocent, childlike mind that would have her looking like I was about to jab her with a giant needle.

"You don't love me anymore," she stated, her voice cracking slightly. Her eyes fell back to her fuzzy toy as my heart shattered right there on the bed. In a way it made complete sense because she expressed her feelings through her affectionate gestures and lately I had totally deprived her of affection. Why wouldn't she draw that conclusion? But if she had, why hadn't she been bothered by it? "Alice told me that sometimes boys stop loving you. She said sometimes they change and decide not to love you anymore. But that's okay," she assured me, looking up and trying to look cheery with her watery heartbroken eyes. "You can find someone better than me, and as long as you let me hug you sometimes I'll be fine," she smiled. "And if you decide to love me again that would be the best thing ever in the entire world. But you don't have to. I know I'm different and-"

"Stop, Bella," I spluttered, holding up my hands to silence her. A few tears had escaped and were streaking down her cheeks. "Bella _I love you_," I stressed, plucking Korben from her grasp and tossing him over my shoulder before scooping her up. She shouldn't have her get her affection from a fucking toy. She was crying now and she moulded her tiny frame to mine, wrapping her arms and legs around me and burying her head wherever it would fit. "I don't know how to explain this to you because it's so stupid and complicated but please don't ever think for one second that I don't love you because I do. I really, truly, honestly and very deeply love you. I love you more than anything and everything in the whole world. You are _everything_ to me," I promised her, running one hand through her hair and just holding her to me with the other. She sniffled and even though she didn't say anything, I knew she was listening because she held me a little tighter and pressed her lips to my neck. "I haven't been cuddling you because when we're this close I want to kiss you."

"Then kiss me," she mumbled into my shoulder, only lifting her head to noisily wipe her nose on the back of her hand. I chuckled at the childishness of her tone and gesture.

"I can't kiss you the way I want to."

"Like couples?"

"Right."

"Did you forget how?" she asked. "Because I can show you some of Emmett's movies. There's lots of kissing in those."

"Uh, no thanks. I didn't forget," I replied, slightly amused by her willingness to show me such educational scenes from Hollywood.

"Is it because we're not a couple?"

"Yes," I lied. I would regret the day she figured out that being a couple didn't get rid of some magical kissing barrier.

"Then make us a couple," she chirped in a 'problem-solved' kind of way that made me laugh. Everything was so simple for her – black and white, yes and no, easy and hard, right and wrong.

"I can't do that."

"Why?" she asked again. I wanted to groan because she wasn't going to let it go. Of all the things she chose not to let go, of course it was this one thing that I knew I was going to fuck up explaining. I lifted her off me despite her little grumble of protest and held her hands.

"Because. Remember how I told you no one would understand?"

"Yes. Because I'm different."

"Right. Well, you're still different. And there's still so much you don't know."

"Like what?"

"Well... like sex," I replied, cringing. She straightened up and took a deep breath.

"Sex is an act also known as intercourse or, sometimes, fucking," she began and I lifted a hand to my head. This was horrifying! She was going to try and prove her knowledge about sex! "A man and a woman get all naked and the man's penis gets hard and the woman's vagina-"

"Bella-"

"Let me finish! The woman's vagina gets all wet and the penis goes in the vagina and the people move around a lot until the man um... _emasculates_. And then the little seamonkeys find the egg and it makes a baby. But there are ways to do it without making babies like the pill and condors and... the Rob?"

"Rod."

"Right! And it's really fun and it feels nice for everyone and when it feels really, really, _really_ nice you have this heart attack thing called an organism." She stopped to draw in another breath. My head was in both of my hands now, to hide my grimace. "And you can do it more than just mission-ray, like puppy-style or 79," she finished with a nod. She looked so goddamn proud I almost decided to agree that she knew enough... but it wasn't enough by a long shot.

"Bella, that's... I mean, there's more to it than that."

"I know, I know," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "You only have sex with people you really love otherwise you might get really sick and die from HIB."

"_HIV_, Bella."

"Right."

"And it's ejaculate, and semen, and condom, and orgasm, and missionary, doggy-style and 69."

"You knew what I meant," she mumbled.

"But you don't even really know what those things are."

"So what?"

"So, Bella, if you don't understand it properly then people are going to think bad things about us as a couple."

"Bad things?" she asked, swivelling around and laying her head in my lap. Despite myself, I began rhythmically brushing her hair back from her forehead.

"Bad things like... we have sex."

"But we don't."

"But other couples do. _Normal_ couples do."

"Then maybe we should. When we're a couple, I mean."

"When we're a couple it _might_ be an option," I acquiesced, shrugging.

"So what's the problem?"

"You want us to be a couple."

"Yes, very much."

"But we can't be a couple until you grow up more."

"Because I don't know about sex?"

"It's more than that, Bella," I groaned. We were going around in endlessly frustrating circles.

"Then explain it," she groaned, mocking my tone.

"If you saw a couple that was a teenager like me and a little toddler, what would you think?" I asked her, hoping this example would help her understand without offending her.

"You think I'm a baby?" she asked, sitting up and scowling. So much for my inoffensive scenario.

"No, but-"

"Then I have a stupid baby brain?"

"Bella that's not what-"

"That's exactly what you're saying!" she cried, pushing me off the bed and standing over me, hands on her hips. "You're saying that people will think you're a p-pe-p-_pedoflile_! But I'm _not a baby_!" she went on, stomping her foot.

"Then stop acting like one!" I yelled back, surprising myself by getting up and standing toe-to-toe with her.

Esme, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett burst into the room just in time for the explosion that was to follow.

"Stop acting like one?" Bella echoed, her voice rising a few octaves. "I don't know how to be any other way!"

"Sweetheart?"

"No!" she sobbed, pushing Esme's comforting hand away. She spun around back around to face me, eyes blazing. "You want me to stop acting like a baby? Then _teach me_ to be normal! Stop feeding me candy and reading me picture books!"

"You _like_ that stuff!" I argued, dropping down onto her bed, completely annihilated by the situation. Her chest was heaving, her face was flushed and her tiny little body was trembling with her tears. She turned her fury on to the rest of them, who were watching in a sleepy state of shock.

"Stop dressing me up like a Barbie! Stop pretending that I'm an alien woman! Stop hiding me from everyone and protecting me from everything! How am I supposed to grow up when none of you will even give me _room_ _to grow_?"

"Bella, honey, calm down," Rosalie soothed, stepping out in front of the group, holding her hands out like Esme had done when Bella had been ready to attack.

"It isn't fair!" she wailed, stomping her foot again and looking more like a child than ever. I couldn't believe this was all coming out... how long had she felt this way? Did she really believe that we were all holding her back? Or was she only changing her mind because she wanted us to be a couple?

Emmett stepped forward now and wrapped Bella in one of his famous bear hugs.

"I know it isn't fair, little sister. We'll help you now," he said softly into her hair, and glaring at me over her head.

"I spend every day with them, Emmett, and they aren't helping me," she whimpered, voice muffled by his shoulder.

"Who, darling?" Esme asked, rubbing her back. Alice and Rosalie each took a seat next to me, their hands on my knees. I must have looked just as shitty as I felt.

"Carlisle and Jasper. All they do is ask me stupid questions!" she blew up again, pulling away and beginning to pace. As I watched her I realised she had picked up so many mannerisms from all of us, and one of the things she'd picked up was my anxious angry pacing. How many times had she seen me do it for her to pick it up like that? "I haven't done any learning in _weeks_! They think I'm pretending to be stupid! Can you believe it?!"

"Honey, keep it down," Esme warned in a whisper, anxiously glancing over her shoulder but obviously wanting to know more. "What do you mean you haven't been learning?"

"They strap me to that scribble machine and they ask me questions all day! And they take my blood and they listen to my heart and they do all these other weird tests where I have to-"

"ENOUGH!"

Carlisle's booming voice startled all of us, most of all Bella. She went white as a sheet and backed up until she hit my knees. I caught and steadied her on my lap, but there was no real need to hold her there – she was stiff as a board.

"What is going on?" Carlisle's voice was much quieter now, and the tone of it even scared me a little. Bella trembled slightly, and her voice quavered as she tried to explain. "How _dare_ you stand here and lie to this family?"

"I-I'm not lying!" she sobbed, wiping sloppily at her nose. I placed a supportive hand on her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder.

"Bella we've been having very productive lessons," Jasper said, coming up from behind Carlisle and wrapping his arms around Alice. "I'm hurt that you would make up these kinds of stories."

"I'm not!" she protested, and I believed her because Bella didn't have the capacity to lie at all, let alone do it so convincingly. It seemed like the others weren't convinced either except, most importantly, Esme. She was frowning with a disappointed look in her eyes, shaking her head.

"I think we've all had a bit of a long day and we're all tired," she suggested, sighing and pulling her kimono around her a little tighter.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow," Carlisle muttered, before ushering everyone out of the room. I stayed behind with Bella, intending to tuck her in just like every other time she went to bed, but she just stood there with her arms folded.

"Goodnight," she scowled.

"Come, let me-"

"No. I don't want you to. I don't forgive you."

"Bella-"

"Goodnight, Edward."

Without my realising, she had steered me out of the room and while I was still trying to figure out how she'd done that she slammed the door in my face.

***

**Present**

Now I was sitting in the kitchen with her as she sorted the gummi bears Jacob had brought over and I was starting to notice that I still might not be forgiven. The first telltale sign was her glaring at me over Jacob's shoulder as she hugged him to thank him for the treats. The second came when she separated the gummi bears by colour like she normally did, swinging her legs on the kitchen bench with Alice's iPod in her ears.

She was humming along completely out of tune to one of the songs, making it sound more like a carnival ditty than a pop song, and when I glanced up from my discussion with Jacob I noticed that weren't enough piles on the bench. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that she hadn't separated the yellow ones – they were in with the red. Instantly, I felt a sharp pang in my chest. Wasn't she going to share with me? Was she that upset that she didn't even want me to be part of our gummi bear tradition anymore? Had I hurt her that badly?

Jacob watched on as she skipped right past me with two bags in her hand instead of one. I followed the two of them to the couch and when I sat beside her, she twisted her body to face me. I thought for a moment she had changed her mind, because she appeared to be holding one out to me but before I even had the chance to reach out her cheery smile morphed back into a glare and she popped the yellow gummi bear into her mouth before turning her back on me.

My jaw hit the floor as I slowly caught on to what had just occurred. The bitchy little thing had offered me a gummi bear only to watch me suffer when she took that opportunity away. I looked up at Jacob, pleading him with my eyes to talk to her or something... _anything_. This couldn't go on. But Jacob was too busy eating his own green gummi bears with a disgustingly amused looked on his face. He was trying too hard not to laugh to concentrate on much else. Three times more she did the offer and much move before he sniggered, only to be met with a rumbling growl from Bella.

"You're grumpy today, my little glare-bear," he noted, ruffling her hair.

"Yes, because of _someone_," she mumbled, turning and giving me that all-too-familiar scowl.

"I said I was sorry," I sighed, raking a hand through my hair. I didn't know how much longer I could take this. I would just give in if it meant getting out of a lifetime of this crap from her.

"What did your awesome man of total awesomeness do?"

"He was _mean to me_!"

"Well sometimes people do mean things," Jacob justified, finally responding appropriately to my pleading glances. "But if you're mean back then it makes you just as bad."

"I'm not bad!"

"Well you're being pretty mean, not sharing your gummi bears with Edward who looks after you and gives you your favourite cuddles."

"He _doesn't_ cuddle me!" she exclaimed. Jacob jumped slightly as she leapt to her feet and threw her bag of gummi bears at me. "Here, take your stupid candy! I'm too grown-up for candy!"

She stormed off leaving Jacob and I stunned on the lounge. When I explained everything to him and Emmett later on in the day, while Bella was in her lessons, we decided we would have to collectively come to a decision about what I should do that night – or sooner rather than later anyway – because there was no way any of us were going to live with her being this moody.

***

In the end, it turned out that I didn't have to say or do anything for her to forgive me. She disappeared into her room after her lessons and didn't resurface. When it came to dinner, she simply mumbled through her door that she wasn't hungry and wanted to be left alone. Concerned with her behaviour, Esme asked me to check on her and I very willingly obliged. I went under the pretence of trying once more to tuck her in, but I didn't bother to knock on the door – she would only tell me to go away like she did everyone else.

I found her sitting at her vanity with a powder-puff in her hand looking utterly defeated. Her head was hung low and I knew she knew I was there because she turned away slightly, wiping at her eyes.

"Need a tissue?" I asked quietly, holding them out to her. I wished more than anything that I could have my Bella back – the Bella that would curl into me and tell me everything that was bothering her in her simplistic, black-and-white way. She would tell me what was good and what was bad and how it made her feel. Now I knew she was feeling messed up because she didn't talk. She didn't know how to feel about her situation or herself as a person. She didn't know anything anymore, and I had let her down so badly. And now I was standing here with a box of tissues like an idiot, hoping that it would fix everything.

She shook her head slightly, looking up at me. When the light hit her face, I dropped the tissues and scooped her up. I hate to admit it, but I cried into her hair a little bit as she wept into my shoulder.

She was black, blue and bloody all over .


	15. Washing of the Water Part One

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They hit her.

More than that, they _beat_ her.

Her beautiful face was in warped shades of purple, blue, black, and yellow. There was crusted blood under her nose and on her lip, and a little bit of it was sticking a piece of hair to her face. She had discarded a wet cloth, and I used it to lift that little piece of hair and wipe off the dried blood. We didn't talk – we barely even moved – she just let me clean her battered face. She was crying as I did it, and I think I probably was as well, but all I could focus on was her breathing. She was breathing, and she was okay, and that was the only thing that was keeping my intense rage at bay. My Bella needed me to be calm so that I could get her to sleep, safe and warm in her bed.

Cleaning her up took longer than expected and she actually looked worse by the end of it. Her eyes were swollen, her lip was split and there were just bruises all over. It was like they'd used her as a punching bag. Those fucking douchebag shit-sticks decided that because she wanted to tell the truth about their suspicious behaviour during what was meant to be her learning, they would teach her a lesson she would never forget. And it was so convenient that Carlisle had moved her to a room with an ensuite – there was no reason for her to leave. Carlisle would probably have planned to send Jasper up with food so that the two of them were the only people who saw her. The sneaky fucks were going to keep her from us under the guise that she was sulking because she was caught out on a lie.

"Edward?"

I shook my head slightly, broken out of my thoughts. "Yeah?"

"You didn't hear what I said," Bella mumbled, looking relieved.

"You didn't want me to hear?" I asked, confused. I set the cloth back down and helped her up. She winced as she stood, and I didn't even want to think about what harm they may have caused to the rest of her body.

"No, I was afraid that you were ignoring me." Her voice was thick, like she had a blocked nose and a sore throat, but the truth was right in front of me. Her nose was probably broken and she'd been crying for hours. She must have felt so betrayed and so confused. Who was I kidding? I had no idea how horrible she must have been feeling. I couldn't even comprehend it. Only Emmett would. "

"What did you say?" I asked, trying to look apologetic but throwing quick glances towards the door. I was considering getting Emmett but at the same time if I left now, there would be nothing to stop me from going into Carlisle's room and just outright murdering him in front of my mother. I had to stay and look after Bella, or I would do something regretful.

"I love you."

Those three words broke me. If there had been any question of me crying before, there was absolutely no question about it now. She had just been savagely beaten by two men who were supposed to love, teach and care for her and the first thing she thought to do was cover it up for them, and then she expressed her love for me – the one who was supposed to protect her and failed.

"C'mere," I blubbered, pulling her to me and burying my face in her hair. She struggled a little against me and as much as I wanted to hold her tight and just never let her go, I eased my grip and looked down at her. "I love you so fucking much, Bella. I really do," I whispered, wiping at my eyes. She brushed my hands away and gently dabbed at my tears. I don't know when she'd managed to get her hands on a tissue but there she was, drying my eyes all confused-like.

"Why are you sad?" she asked, pushing some hair off my forehead, one hand lingering on my cheek.

"I'm not sad, Bella. I'm just... overwhelmed. You are the most loving and caring person I have ever met in my entire life."

"Don't be sad, 'kay?"

"Okay," I chuckled. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I asked her, leading her over to the bed and peeling back the covers. She asked no questions when I slid in with her – she was probably overjoyed that I was going to stay all night – and told me that she didn't want to talk. I let her take her time curling up to me, as it was hard for her to get comfortable with all the cuts and bruises, and then I switched off the light.

I didn't sleep at all.

***

It was six in the morning when I heard it. The first stirrings in the household could be heard from underneath Bella's door as she snored lightly on my chest. I hadn't had a single wink of sleep, preferring to just comb through her hair and listen to her breathing – watching as her chest rose and fell in perfect time with mine.

A pair of footsteps lingered outside the door and the rage in me starting bubbling up as I thought of Carlisle standing there, plotting how best to keep this travesty a secret, but then I heard Esme's gentle sigh and the footsteps retreated. Sometime later, the front door shut and the gravel was crunching under someone's feet. I gently rolled out of bed and looked out the window to find Carlisle leaving in my Volvo. Immediately, my fists balled up and I had to train my eyes on Bella's sleeping form to calm down.

I crouched beside the bed and shook her awake. She grumbled something about morning cuddles that I didn't understand and she reached out for me and nuzzled into my shoulder. I smiled and kissed the top of her head, caressing her cheek softly.

"How are you feeling?"

"It hurts," she rasped, sitting up and stretching. She grimaced, the pain bothering her, and ran a hand through her forehead.

"Let's get you in the shower, okay?" I suggested, helping her up and guiding her over to the bathroom. I helped as she gingerly undressed and what I saw made me so full of blind, red fury that I almost took off on foot to the hospital. Carlisle would definitely pay. My Bella had grip-like bruises on her arms along with a myriad of pinpricks – no doubt results of all the tests Bella had been talking about. The rest of her body was painted with bruises, fresh purple covering parts of older faded yellow ones.

I couldn't talk. My jaw was clenched so hard that it was already starting to give me a headache. So I just switched on the water and helped her in. The only words I managed to get out were a promise that I would be back soon. I raced out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Esme's hand flew to her heart in surprise.

"Edward! You're in a hurry, where are you going?" She asked, turning back around and stirring her coffee.

"Nowhere."

"How's Bella?"

"I need to show you something," I said, trembling with anger. Something about my tone must have really gotten to her because she looked frightened as she agreed to come upstairs with me. "She wasn't lying, Esme," I told her, leading the way. Esme panted behind me, trying to keep up.

"Edward, I think she's just upset," she argued as we arrived in the bathroom.

"Really?" I asked, pulling back the shower curtain. Esme fell to her knees at the sight of Bella sitting in the shower like she always did, except covered in those horrific marks. "Look what they did to her."

"Honey I'm so sorry," Esme sobbed, but I didn't know who she was talking to. It didn't really matter. Maybe she was talking to the both of us. I left and got my cell, leaving Esme to care for Bella as I called Jacob. I was going to need every possible kind of reinforcement to help me get her out of here.

"Edward this isn't the best time." He sounded tired on the phone, but I didn't care. And I knew he wouldn't care in the end, either.

"It's Bella," I sighed.

"I'm on my way."

***

An hour later, the four of us were on Bella's bed. She didn't want anyone touching her but me, and I didn't want anyone else to touch her so we were both perfectly happy to just be in each other's arms. We let her explain everything that had been going on and I was disgusted with myself for not seeing it all sooner.

They had her strapped to a lie detector test every day, asking her questions about the past that she had never been able to remember. They took her blood and tested it. They strapped her to machines that monitored her brain and heart and asked her to do strange things like interpret inkblots or guess the suit or number of a hidden playing card. She told us all about the conversation she heard between Jasper and the people in the 'busy place' and from all we'd heard it became very clear that they all knew exactly what Bella was. They also thought that she knew what she was and was trying to hide it. They were trying to break her, and like the strong girl she was, she wasn't allowing herself to be defeated. She was holding on and not making things up just to satisfy them.

"You've been so brave," Esme whispered.

"I've been scared," she mumbled back, playing with my wristwatch. "Esme I have something else to tell you," she said, looking down into her lap as though she was ashamed.

"What is it, darling?"

"Edward stayed with me last night and I'm sorry for breaking your rules," she blurted out, blushing furiously. Jacob threw me a warning look, which I deflected with a quick shake of my head to indicate that nothing had happened between us. Esme merely tittered with soft laughter.

"That's alright, sweetheart," she assured. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'd like him to stay every night, please."

"I think that's out of the question, Bella, even with current situations in mind."

"What?"

"No, he can't stay every night. Maybe for a little while until you fall asleep," she compromised when Bella turned puppy-dog eyes on full power. "But he leaves once you're asleep," she clarified, looking at me more than her. I nodded in agreement. Did she know how hard it was for me to agree to that? Did she know _why_ it was so hard for me to agree?

"Hey it's a Bella love-fest in here!"

Alice came skipping in from the hallway and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Alice, you need to leave."

"What happened to her?"

"Come on, Alice." Esme had gotten up and was trying to steer her out of the room, but Alice's feet stayed firmly on the ground where she stood.

"Alice?"

Jasper's voice sent a wave of hot fury coursing through my body, but Alice got to him before I could even pry myself from Bella's grip.

"What did you do, Jasper?"

"Alice-" Jasper couldn't even finish. He just held his hands up and kept shaking his head, backing up because all of us were killing him on the spot with our eyes. Out of the corner of my vision, I saw Alice's gorgeous little pixie face contort with rage.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" she shrieked. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO HER!"

"Alice, I-"

"NO! There isn't ANY excuse for this! NOTHING, not ONE thing you can say is going to make this better."

"I didn't do this to her!" he spluttered, and Bella just whimpered into my chest, trying to hide from the conflict.

"GET OUT!"

Alice's words reverberated through the entire house. She stood there crying, pushing him away, beating at his chest with her little fists before weeping into Jacob's shoulder as Jasper backed out of the hallway and flew down the stairs.


	16. Washing of the Water Part Two

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**This chapter begins in Jasper's POV.**

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I flew down the stairs, slipping on the tiles as I went through the kitchen and out the back door. I fumbled for my cell, only to have it ring as soon as I had it in the palm of my hand.

"Carlisle."

"I need you to do something for me."

"What did you do to her?" I asked, startled a little by how pained I sounded. It was true – we needed to get some answers from The Girl but I thought it had been made clear by the third time we'd questioned her that she knew nothing at all. _We_ knew more than she did. And to go that far... to try and beat the secrets out of her... it was too much.

"She wouldn't comply, Jasper. It went a little too far, I realise that. I lost my temper with her."

"Dr. Cullen it looks like you've tenderised her with a mallet!" I ran my hand over my face and tried to get the images out of my head. She was completely battered, the poor thing. Clueless, confused and battered.

And Alice...

"That's why I need you to keep her out of view until she heals. You'll be in charge of that, I don't need you here that much I can do the tests myself and when you hear from the Swans just call me."

"Carlisle, I think..." I trailed off, not knowing how to tell him that they all already knew. I wanted to call him a moron for thinking Edward wouldn't be in there straight away to check on her. Evidently he was. How could Carlisle have thought otherwise? They were joined at the hip. They couldn't breathe without one another. It was clear from her behaviour and some of her other test results – particularly the answers we'd gained while she was under that hypnosis-like state Carlisle had managed to put her in once – that she was hopelessly in love with him. Even if he didn't go to her, she would have gone to him – frightened or not.

"Yes?"

"I think Edward knows," I amended. I needed him to know part of the truth. Edward, over any of the others, wouldn't be able to restrain his anger. The others, if I could get them to listen, would keep quiet for the time being. And I would need to tell the Swans about this. It was all going to fall to pieces. This was all a huge mistake from the very beginning.

"He can be taken care of. Call the Swans and get back to me."

***

The hospital looked foreign to me. In truth I hadn't been here at all. Not once. All those days Carlisle and I pretended to be coming here were a lie. My entire life since Bella had come around had just turned into one gigantic lie. I've put off college to live a life based around secrets and lies. All for what? I know the money is good. The money is fantastic. But at what real cost am I doing this? She doesn't know anything. She has no clue about her past and if she did it would have come out while she was being clobbered by Carlisle. Couldn't he see that? Or was he just going to keep on like this?

I couldn't let him.

"Carlisle?" I poked my head into his office and saw that he was on his computer, glasses on, concentrating on a report of some sort.

"Jasper. Did you call them, son?"

"Yes. They want us to discontinue," I lied. The beauty of it was that the Swans didn't even trust Carlisle enough for their contact information. There was no way he could catch me out on this.

"Did they say why?" he asked, looking both disappointed and sceptical.

"Because she doesn't know anything."

"She's hiding it," he insisted. "Look at her test results. Her IQ is phenomenal! She's capable of so much more than she's letting on! She's strong and flexible-"

"And emotional, Carlisle."

It was the snag we always seemed to hit. No matter what he thought or anyone else thought about Bella and what she was, she was still emotional and that threw everything else out the window.

"That could be calculated," he reasoned.

"She's in love with Edward," I argued, pretending to play Devil's Advocate like always.

"A ploy."

"To what? Make you sympathetic? It clearly isn't working, Carlisle."

"Well that's why she's playing harder at her little games. I think we should continue. I want you to go home and make sure she's fed. By now Jacob Black will probably know all about the little incident. Thankfully everyone else is working today so it'll be their word against ours. Think something up, will you?" he said dismissively, turning back to him computer and continuing with his report.

***

**EPOV**

It was amazing to me how Bella could just forget her problems – her pain – and just get on with her day.

Sitting in the lounge room, all purple and sore, she was engaged in conversation with Emmett, whom Rosalie had called home from cleaning and restocking the bar. Esme was on the phone to the hospital in the kitchen and I went to her – her expression was alarming.

"Well I am his _wife_ and I need to speak with him this very instant, rounds or no rounds. Page him. Get him on the phone to me right now," she snapped at the poor receptionist on the other end of the phone. I reached over and rubbed her shoulder and she turned away from me, subtly wiping a tear from her cheek. "Carlisle," she began after a minute or so of waiting. "I checked on Bella this morning, to see if she was too upset to have breakfast."

Silence. She was waiting for him to answer, but apparently he said nothing.

"Don't come home tonight, Carlisle. In fact, don't consider this your home. You are welcome however, when Bella is asleep safe and sound in her bed, to come and gather some of your belongings- I don't _care_ where you go, Carlisle!" she spat, having been interrupted. "You can go to the other side of the earth for all I care! She walked into a door, did she? Did the door have hands that _beat her_? Because she sure looks like she was punched and slapped and god knows what else by _your hands_! You're lucky I can't tell the authorities about her. And I want a divorce."

She hung up then, and when I went to hug her she pulled away and disappeared out the door. Sighing, I turned to head back to Bella and I saw Rose standing in the archway.

"She'll be alright," she assured me. I wasn't so sure. It must've shown on my face. "I'll go talk to her," she amended with a gentle smile, catching my hand and giving it a squeeze as she passed me.

"And then... picture this..."

Emmett's face was bright and full of wonder as I sat beside Bella, who was listening with a look of awe on her face. Alice looked slightly worried and Jake's mouth was twitching, trying to hold back hysterical laughter.

"There's dirt all over the stage, see, and then we _know_ he's not dead because this hand – this _gloved hand_ comes out from under the dirt!" he went on, illustrating with his own hand.

"Yes!" Bella nodded, enthusiastically.

"So Michael Jackson is pretending to be dead because he wants to do an awesome piece in his new concert?" Alice asked, rolling her eyes.

"It makes perfect sense!" Emmett cried.

"Yes, it does!" Bella agreed, nodding with even more vigour than before.

"Right? And then Thriller starts playing and all these other fake zombies come out and they do the dance like-" Emmett got up and started performing for us and all of a sudden Bella was on her feet begging him to teach her. "Okay it goes like this..."

"Watch, Edward!" Bella commanded. I obeyed, just for a minute... then I checked my phone to see what the time was. "Watch!" she yelled.

"I'm watching!" I argued.

"You were not! You missed my awesome hip movements!"

"He'll catch up on that later, Bella," Jacob winked. I slapped him hard upside the head while Bella stood looking both confused and irritated.

"Just watch me dance!"

"Okay! I'm sorry."

She continued to learn the dance and perform it badly, and I decided to shoot a text to Jasper, asking him if he was going to be here for dinner. I pretended that Bella wanted to cook so we'd have to know how many people there were going to be. Just to get the fucker over here. So I could beat the living shit out of him, like he did to my Bella.

"You. Are. Not. Watching."

I looked up to find Bella's face just inches away from mine, scowling. She snatched my phone away before skipping back over to Emmett and finishing the dance. When she was done, Esme joined us and suggested that Bella take a bath.

"But I already had a shower," she frowned and I was reminded of small children who detested bath time. Bella loved the water, though, so she was probably just confused. And rightfully so – she had no need to get clean. Even I was a little confused by the suggestion.

"Please Bella, don't argue with me," she sighed, sounding exhausted. "Alice will keep you company."

"I don't want company, I'll be naked!"

"Okay then don't have any company just go up and take a long bath."

"Why?"

"Because I said so, Bella."

"But why do you say so?"

"Bella, _please_..."

"_Okay_!" Bella whined before trudging upstairs, muttering something about pushy parents ruining her fun all the time. When she was out of hearing range, Esme turned her attention to all of us.

"Carlisle is on his way."

"Fantastic. Best news all day," Jacob grinned, balling up a fist. Esme held up a hand.

"No fighting, please."

"Fair's fair, mom."

"Emmett, I said _no_."

"Just one kick in the groin?"

"Alice!"

"You're right, I'll save it for Jasper."

"No violence! Period!" she exclaimed, stomping her foot for further emphasis. "I will not have any more violence in this house! He is coming to pick up some clothes, that's all. Edward, go upstairs."

"What did I do?" I asked, bewildered by her sudden aggression towards me.

"Nothing yet, but I know you."

"I won't fucking hit the stupid prick," I mumbled.

"Upstairs, Edward. Wait for Bella in her room. If Carlisle sets foot in there you have my permission to kick him out."

"Literally?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow and eliciting several chuckles from around the room. We all heard the car pull up and Esme began pushing me out. Rosalie took Emmett to their room and once I was safely headed up the stairwell Esme took Alice's hand. Jacob stood behind them, arms folded over his chest. He looked like a bodyguard. He glanced over his shoulder at me and I mouthed thanks to him. He smirked, praying Carlisle would start something.

With a gust of air from my lungs, I landed on my back on Bella's bed. My jaw clenched hard and my fists baled up angrily as I heard the dickhead walk past to get to his room. He had paused at the door and when he did I stared at the doorknob, willing it to twist so I could beat the fuck out of him. When he walked away, I held solace in the fact that he'd have to walk back past here to get out of the house.

In the ensuite, I could hear Bella splashing about and singing softly to herself. The sound of it sent a wave of calm through me and I felt myself getting up off the bed and walking to the door. I sat on the floor there and to my amusement I discovered that she was humming the Scooby Doo theme-song as she washed. I couldn't help but grin as she just kept humming that same song over and over, splashing in time with the rhythm of the song. I could just picture the little smile on her face. Maybe today she was covered in bubbles.

I remembered the time she completely covered herself in bubbles. It was the second time we'd ever put her in a bath, and the first time she did it alone. Esme left her in the bath to continue cooking dinner and a couple of minutes later a completely thrilled and bubble-covered Bella came bouncing into the kitchen. We'd all turned away from her, because under the bubbles she was naked and that's just what people do when there's a naked person in the kitchen, and Esme escorted her back up to the bathroom explaining that we don't leave the bath until we're nice and clean and we don't leave the bathroom until we're dressed or covered in a towel. In my reminiscence, I had once again lost track of the time and before I knew it Bella was opening the door and nearly tripping over me.

"Were you spying on me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You were singing so nicely," I teased, getting up off the floor. She didn't understand the teasing and took it as a compliment.

"Thank you, Edward!" she blushed, looking at her feet. "I was gonna go get Alice... I need some help."

"With what?"

"I'm very sore and I need help getting dressed," she mumbled, sighing a little.

"I'll go get Alice."

"Its okay, you can help me," Bella said, taking my hand and pulling me into the bathroom.

"This is not a good idea..."

"Why not?"

"Because you're naked, Bella."

"I'm wearing a towel, silly!" she laughed, bopping my nose lightly. "Besides, you helped me in the shower before." She didn't even wait for me to protest this time because she was already out of her towel. "Esme let you so we're not gonna be in trouble. I need your help, Edward," she pleaded, holding a pair of panties out to me. Shutting my eyes, I turned around. Panties were just _too much_. Bella wearing _lace panties_? Did she _always_ wear those? Even though my eyes were shut, those lacy blue fucking panties were still swimming in my mind's eye. They were taunting me and then my mind completely fucked me over by putting them on Bella and there she was, in panties, and it just wasn't what I needed to be thinking about because lace panties really just did it for me and I _needed_ to keep those kinds of feelings far, far away from Bella. But my mind was completely betraying me with those images.

"How about we just put your robe on for now and then Alice can help you with the rest of your clothes later. We did that before, didn't we?" I choked.

"I had my underwear on under the robe, Edward, I _need_ my undies! Help me!" she whined, trying to turn me around and huffing in frustration.

"Just the robe," I repeated, and I swear to god I would have gotten down on my knees and begged to the heavens if it wouldn't have scared her to see me so insane.

"You are so _weird_ lately!" she muttered, relenting and fetching her robe. Turning back around, I helped her into it, then tied her hair back for her. "Thanks," she smiled, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around me.

"You're welcome," I sighed, melting like the pussy I was when it came to her. We stilled there, just holding onto each other and swaying slightly, like in a dance. "Scooby Dooby Doo..." I sang, teasing again.

"Where are you? We've got some work to do now," she continued, and I could feel her smiling on my shoulder. I laughed and kissed her forehead. And that there was my mistake. Because she pressed her lips to my collarbone in response right as my eyes found those goddamn motherfucking panties. A wave of electricity coursed through me and hit me in a place that had never _ever_ reacted to Bella before.

I prayed she didn't notice.

She noticed.

There is no God.

"What's that?" she asked, looking up at me with her curious puppy expression. I jumped back and turned my back on her.

"Nothing," I replied, thinking about maths and history and science and no, not science because biology means sex and... Okay, back to history. Socrates. Socrates is a very unsexy fellow. Socrates and algebra. Pythagoras and Hitler. Very, very unsexy.

"That was your-" I whirled around and covered her mouth just in time to completely muffle the end of her surprised outburst.

"No it wasn't," I lied.

"Then what was it?"

"My phone," I replied, pulling it out of my pocket and waving it in front of her.

"Edward?"

"What?"

"I feel weird without any panties on."

I sighed and was about to give in to seeing her in those gorgeous little blue panties when Alice knocked at the door, asking to come in.

So maybe there _is_ a God.

"We're all decent!"

"Oh, you're dressed already! Good!" she smiled, brushing past me and fixing my job on Bella's hair. She bit her lip in concentration as she roped those brown spirals into a plait to smooth it all out and Bella just stood patiently, the both of them yammering away like it was any other normal day. I've found that Alice and Bella are similar that way... the world can be going into complete chaos around them and they'll just keep going on as though it weren't. It's deliciously calming. "Why are you holding your underwear?"

"Edward wouldn't help me with it."

Alice turned and frowned at me, questioning with her eyes.

"She's naked!"

"Never bothered you before."

"Well it always bothered everyone else."

"You never cared about what anyone else had to say about it."

I threw my hands in the air. "So I do, for once, what people want me to do and I get treated like I'm doing something wrong!"

"Not wrong just... weird.

"He _is_ weird today," Bella agreed. I shot a look at her and she smiled apologetically.

"Well get out then, weirdo, so I can help her."

"I need to talk to you about something when she's dressed."

"What should I do?" Bella asked, pouting at the idea of me leaving her. That was the only way to tell that she was affected by what had happened to her – she didn't want to be away from me unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Jacob and Emmett are waiting for you downstairs, Bells," Alice smiled, guiding me out of the room and closing the door. "Jacob wants to see you do the Thriller dance again," she went on, voice muffled through the door.

"Can we make pizzas for dinner?"

"Sure, just ask Esme."

"Pizza is Edward's favourite. Ham, pineapple, pepperoni and lots of cheese and chilli flakes."

"That's gross," Alice chuckled, opening the door again. "Where do you wanna talk?" she asked as Bella clung to me one more time before slinking out of the room.

"Here's fine," I replied, plopping down onto the stool by Bella's vanity. Alice stood waiting. "Uh... you're in charge of Bella's clothes, right?"

Alice's patient curiosity transformed into confusion.

"Right," she replied slowly, dragging the word out as she nodded her head. I didn't even know how to continue with my questioning. I mean, the questions were all there buzzing my head – the main one being why in the hell she was buying Bella lace panties – but I couldn't think of a way to word them without seeming like a control freak.

"You know what? Never mind," I sighed, getting to my feet.

"Are you serious?" Alice asked, her tone irritated. I turned to face her, confused, and she let out a bark of laughter that sounded more annoyed than amused. "Here I was thinking you were going to ask me how I was feeling and you ask me some inane question and then don't bother to elaborate. You really are brother of the year, Edward."

"I'm sorry, Alice," I replied sincerely, pulling her into a hug. She sighed into my shoulder and slapped me playfully. "I've had heaps of other shit on my brain as well as all of this, you know... It's been a really tough day for all of us, not that it's an excuse-"

"Yeah I know... it's just a reason. By the way, I buy them for her because she thinks they're pretty," she smirked, bumping my hip as she linked arms with me and walked us down the stairs. "Besides it's either that or granny panties."

"I'd prefer she wore granny panties," I confessed, laughing. It would make my life just so much easier if I knew she was wearing granny panties under her jeans every day.

"No problem. I'd organise a chastity belt as well, Father Edward," she joked, rolling her eyes and taking a seat with Rose. Bella wasn't anywhere to be seen in the living room, but I quickly found her in the kitchen, chopping up red peppers with Emmett and Jacob flanked on either side chopping other various pizza ingredients. Esme was bent over the oven, adjusting the temperature.

Right then, my phone beeped. It was a text from Jasper.

_B there 8. Pls let me tell u the whole truth. I can explain._

"Jasper is coming in half an hour," I called out, wanting everyone to hear. I looked to Bella, to gauge her reaction to the news in case I needed to tell him not to bother. If she was frightened, he wouldn't be coming anywhere near our house. She just nodded and continued chopping, scraping the seeds into her palm and emptying them into the sink.

"What does he want?" Rosalie asked from the other room.

"To explain."

"There isn't any excuse," Esme muttered, shaking her head and sighing. "We have to let him tell his side of the story. He used to be such a gentle soul," she sighed. Emmett nodded along with her, and I knew he was thinking of the time we first met.

It was at school, and there were some kids who were giving me a hard time. Pale-skinned, thin and awkward, I was a textbook loser and the bullies in the schoolyard had no problem telling me so – an adopted loser whose parents didn't want him, who wasn't smart or good at sports either. They didn't even know that I never knew my father he didn't know I existed. They certainly didn't know that my mother had died of cancer a couple of years earlier. But they were right in a way because the rest of my family didn't want me. Living in England, my mother's sister and her family refused to take me in, preferring to sign me over to be a ward of the state.

While I was being carted from foster home to foster home, I fell sick with pneumonia. That was when Carlisle found me. I was his patient.

Anyway, I was being picked on and I was about to go into what Esme used to call "Hulk Mode" – where I would shake with anger until I finally exploded and started laying into the idiots – when Jasper walked right into the middle of the conflict and just dispersed it. I don't know what he did or what he said, but he stood in front of me – all curly hair and hazelnut eyes – and the boys went away. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was okay – and for the first time in years I _did_ feel okay. We were best friends from then on.

"Yeah well gentle souls change, clearly," Jacob retorted, glaring in the direction of the driveway. Bella gently removed the knife from his hand.

We continued to wait, designing our pizzas and putting them in the oven. Jacob and Bella got into a floor fight, Esme surprising us all by egging Bella on instead of discouraging her. The door flung open as the oven timer beeped, but when we turned – Bella and Jacob sweeping flour off each other's shoulder – it wasn't Jasper that we saw.

It was Leah.


	17. If You Could Only See

**It's another chapter! It's a short one but I've got another brewing ;)  
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**I'd like to take this time to remind you all to read and review for punkfarie and iheartthedoctor who both have brilliant fics – Stripped and This Sort Of Thing Just Doesn't Exist respectively. **

**Stripped has also been nominated for the Moonlight Awards, but won't be available for voting until the second round, which actually should start today.**

**Finger crossed that Human Nature makes it into the second round!**

**Thank you again so so much for your ongoing support. Answers are on the way! Oh and thanks so much to the people who pointed it out - yes, I did mean FLOUR fight, not floor fight in the last chapter LOL  
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**Please don't be afraid to make suggestions or anything! You're more than welcome to!  
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**JPOV**

The night air shot straight through to my bones as I waited. I checked the piece of paper in my hand once more, though it was hard to see what I'd written given that I'd wrung it in my hands for the last half hour. The Swans had landed from Phoenix and were about to meet me in the parking lot having just gotten off the ferry. I didn't know exactly what they wanted to do, but they were the only people who could put an end to this mess once and for all – whether it was in Bella's best interest or not.

I couldn't read them as they came towards me, but maybe it was because I was so shocked. They didn't look at all how I'd pictured them. They looked warm – a stark contrast to their tone on the phone just hours earlier.

"Jasper," Charlie greeted me, holding out his hand. I shook it, and then politely stooped down to greet Renee with a kiss on her cheek.

"An hour to Forks, is that correct?" she asked as she slid into the passenger's seat. Charlie looked comfortable in the back, removing his jacket and gazing out the window. "It's been so long since we've been."

"Yes, about an hour," I replied. "I'll have to stop for gas, though."

"That's fine, right hun?" she asked, looking over and smiling serenely over at her husband.

"What? Yeah sure, fine. Take your time, kid," he winked. I wondered how they could be so calm.

I started the engine.

***

**BPOV**

My first instinct was to hide. There was a new person in the house, and I didn't like the way she was looking at me. I took a step back and to the right, hiding behind Jacob's big shoulders. Edward came up behind me, wrapping one arm around my waist and pulling me gently away from Jacob. The new person narrowed her eyes at me and marched towards us, yanking Jacob away. I lurched, arms reaching out for him as I growled in her direction.

"Bella, no," Edward hissed in my ear, restraining me as the others quickly left the room. They were probably going to save the pizzas, which I could tell were already burning.

"Is she the reason you're never home?" the new girl asked. She was very upset with Jacob and it made me scared for him, but I was even more scared because she knew I existed. I was still supposed to be a secret! I hid behind Edward now that Jacob was gone from directly in front of me, clutching the hem of his shirt. I needed her to not see me. "Is she?"

"Yes but Leah it isn't what you think!" Jacob answered, speaking very quickly. He took her hands in his but she yanked them away. I frowned through the gap between Edward's side and his arm. If that really was Leah, then why was she being so mean to Jacob? Leah was the girl that Jacob loved and kissed all the time! He said she loved him too! What was she thinking that was making her so mad? "Bella's just a friend, I swear. Like a little sister, Lee, I promise," he said softly, taking her hands again and pulling her closer.

"She doesn't look like a little sister to me, Jacob," Leah sighed, shaking her head and looking back over at me. I shrunk back behind Edward. "Why is she hiding if there's nothing going on?"

"She's hiding because you burst into her house looking like you were about to murder her best friend," Edward answered for Jacob. I could hear in his voice that he was rolling his eyes. He wasn't scared of Leah, she just annoyed him. Maybe I shouldn't be afraid, after all. I stepped out, so I wouldn't get Jacob into more trouble.

"Hi Leah," I greeted her, waving slightly. Jacob smiled reassuringly beside her, but she glared at me. When she caught his smile, she pushed him away.

"What do you want with my boyfriend?" she demanded, stepping closer to me. I didn't like her being so close – I could feel the heat of her stare all through my body. Every instinct I had was screaming at me to pounce her, but Edward's cool hand on my arm told me it wouldn't be a good idea.

"Leave her alone, Leah."

"No. It's a very simple question. Are you stupid or something?" she asked me. I was hurt. I just didn't understand what she meant, but that didn't mean I was stupid.

"I'm not stupid," I said softly.

"She speaks!" Leah laughed, but it wasn't a very happy sound. "Well what the fuck are you doing with Jacob?"

"We were having play fight with the flour because we were bored waiting for pizzas to cook," I answered, shrugging my shoulders.

"Why are you play fighting with my boyfriend?"

"Because he's my best friend."

"Your best friend?"

"Yes."

"What happened to your face? Someone beat you up for being a home-wrecker?"

"Leah, quit it."

"Shut your fucking mouth."

Both Edward and Jacob spoke at the same time, but Leah pretended not to hear them. I was glaring at her as hard as I could. She was _not_ a nice person. Why would Jacob want to hug and kiss and protect this girl? She was so _mean_!

"I don't wreck homes!"

"Just relationships, right?"

"What?"

"You think you're so cute, playing all stupid. Like you don't know exactly what you're doing."

"What am I doing?" I asked, really truly confused by her line of questioning. It was starting to remind me of my sessions with Carlisle and Jasper. She was asking me questions about things that I didn't know how to answer and it was really frustrating me.

"She thinks you want to be with me," Jacob explained and I nodded in comprehension, quickly turning back to Leah.

"Of course I want to be with Jacob! He's the best friend I have!" I smiled, thinking she might see that we have something in common and hoping it would make her a little nicer to me. I was wrong, but I soon found out that it was because we didn't understand each other. Just as she began to yell at me, Edward interrupted.

"Bella she thinks you want to be a couple with Jacob," he said, sounding bored. "Maybe Jacob could take Leah outside and explain everything."

"No, I want _her_ to explain," Leah spat, now so close to my face that I had to step back so I could see her properly. She had been just a blur of copper skin.

"Jacob keeps me company when I'm lonely. I don't know who I am or where I come from or anything and there's lots for me to figure out. Jacob helps me learn stuff. He taught me how to whistle and blow bubbles and he's my best friend. I don't want to be a couple with him. I want to be a couple with Edward."

"Why are you talking like that?" she asked, and I frowned in confusion. I didn't sound different to anyone else in the room, really. I mean, everyone has different voices but I didn't know what she meant.

"Lee, babe, come outside and I'll explain everything," Jacob pleaded, leaning in and kissing her lips. She seemed to melt under his touch and agreed to talk outside. They left, and Edward and I were alone.

***

**EPOV**

Everything was falling to shreds. If we were in space, I'd be on the radio to Houston, screaming that we have a problem. But like in space, no one could help us.

Leah was now going to know everything, and that was all well and good for Jacob and his relationship with her but what would it mean for Bella? I knew she was the kind who had a deep respect for her tribe – she didn't keep anything from the other Quileutes – so her knowing meant the entire reservation was going to know.

And more people still were guaranteed to find out about her. And Jasper was on his way, and I just knew he was going to drop a bombshell on us because I was going to fucking force some answers out of him.

But for the moment, everyone was gone, and I was so proud of how Bella handled herself in front of a hostile stranger. It gave me hope that – all going well – we could leave this place and just live a normal life. No bullshit, just us. I smiled at the thought and drew her to me, pushing her hair behind her ears. She held onto me, tracing soft little patterns on my arms and looking right into my very core. No one on earth had ever looked at me that way, and I knew no one else ever would because no one would ever love me as unconditionally as Bella did.

And no one would ever love anyone as much I loved her in that moment.

I cupped her soft cheek in my hand, being as gentle as possible, leaned down and took her lips in a soft but deep kiss. She responded with a sigh of contentment, one of her hands finding my cheek and caressing it the way mine was caressing hers. I had never kissed her the way I was kissing her now, and I was pleasantly surprised at how she just seemed to know what to do. I let go of every reason I had given myself to hold back, because it all seemed like it was about to fall apart. And if she was taken from me, I didn't want to have to go through that knowing I never really showed her how I felt. I didn't want to have denied her the opportunity to show me. I crushed her against me, forgetting about her injuries, but she didn't complain. She fisted her hands in my hair and kissed me even deeper. Everything else disappeared when I brushed my tongue against hers and tasted her for the very first time. She tasted like red gummi bears.

She surrounded me, intoxicated me, captured every fibre of my being. Yet the smallest, most delicate sound tore me out of the rapture. Alice cleared her throat. I jumped back, my face growing hotter.

"Uh... d-dinner is getting cold," she stuttered, the shock visible on her face.

"Okay!" Bella chirped, skipping past her into the kitchen, her features bright and happy. She was walking on air. I watched her until she was out of sight and then turned back to Alice, pleading.

"Look, Alice-"

"I'm just going to pretend I didn't see it, Edward," Alice interrupted me, shaking her head. "We already have enough to deal with today," she muttered, though it was clear she wasn't happy with me.

Jacob and Leah made their way back in, but Leah only went into the dining room to wave goodbye before leaving again. Jacob informed us that he'd told her everything, and she would be back in the morning to help with anything she could. Apparently she was 'sympathetic and understanding', but in my experience those two words weren't even in her vocabulary. I didn't argue, though. As long as she was gone, I had nothing really to complain about.

Bella ate her pizza in silence, swinging her legs happily, apparently lost in pleasant thoughts. When I wasn't watching her, I was glancing at the clock. We all were. It was 8.16 already – Jasper was running late.

"Bella let's have a girl's night tonight," Alice suddenly suggested, breaking her out of her daydreams.

"I don't feel like a girl's night," she replied, crinkling her nose as though she'd tasted something funny. It was no surprise that Alice had suggested an alternative to the current sleeping arrangements, and again no surprise that Bella had rejected the idea.

"I think it might be just what you need. Get away from those nasty boys," Rosalie winked, in on the idea but not on the reason behind it. I shot a look at Alice, wordlessly telling her to drop the idea, but she ignored me.

"Exactly. Us women need to stick together," she grinned.

"I've got a good stash of ice-cream with our names on it," Esme giggled, clearing our plates even though half of us weren't finished. Emmett was about to point out this fact, but I saw Rosalie pinch his side and his face scrunched up in disappointment. We'd have to raid the cupboards later, clearly, because we couldn't pull poor Esme out of her pre-occupied state just yet.

"Here's fuckface," Emmett leered, looking out at the headlights glaring the driveway. I rose from my seat, alarmed at the fact that there was more than one figure in the BMW. There were three. Two of them stayed behind as Jasper crunched his way to the door. Bella beat me there, pulling it open with a wide smile. She had seen something I hadn't, because she reached out greedily and before I knew it she was holding a pack of gummi bears and a bunch of flowers.

"Can you ever forgive me?" he was begging when I reached them. Protectively, I reached for Bella and pulled her behind me. She pushed her way back over to Jasper and led him inside, not even noticing the additional people in the car.

"I wasn't even very mad at you," she smiled. "I was just... very sad because you didn't even get help for me. I thought that's where you were going when you walked out. I know you knew what he was going to do and I thought you were going to get my Edward to help me. But you didn't and that made me very sad, Jasper." I stopped dead in my tracks. He hadn't been lying. He never laid a hand on her.

"You didn't hit her?" Jacob asked, sounding just as disappointed as I was that there wasn't much of a reason to fuck him up.

We gathered in the living room, Bella already digging into her new stash of gummi bears and leaning against Jasper's shoulder as she held my hand. He stared into his lap sheepishly, but was somewhat calm – no doubt a result of Bella's gesture of solidarity.

"I've been involved with some things..." he began, sighing and rubbing the back of his shoulder as though he was carrying a huge weight there. If he had any trouble letting all of that information go, I had some ideas in mind about how to get it all out. "Bella is very... unique."

"No shit."

"Emmett, please," Esme scolded. "Go on and tell us, Jasper," she encouraged.

"It all started with the first tests Carlisle did..."


	18. Ave Mary A Part One

**Hello hello hello!**

**I am so totally fail! I'm so sorry for making you all wait this long! It wasn't my intention, I swear… Work just got crazy (hahaha ohhh I amuse me) and I have had zero time off. Also, my laptop has failed so I'm currently borrowing the fiancé's laptop (thanks, baby!)**

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**The answers are FINALLY here!**

**I had more to add to this chapter but I decided to post what I have now and make it a two-parter. I'm starting immediately on the second part. I just wanted to alleviate the suspense for you all! **

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"I don't want to go with them," she whispered to me, her beautiful face troubled. I brushed her hair back from her forehead in gentle strokes, my other arm rubbing small circles on the arm she had draped over my torso.

"You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to."

"I just want to be with you."

"Don't think about it right now, Bella."

"Don't leave me."

"I'm right here," I soothed, my forehead pressing against hers. Her breath on my face was sweet and warm.

She drifted off then into peaceful slumber. I watched her as she slept, littering her face with kisses when her brow would furrow – a result of her dreams. I found myself wondering – not for the first time – what it would be like to be in her head.

If I could have any superpower, I'd want to be able to read minds. That way I could never be deceived again, and I could understand Bella better. I could know exactly who she was inside, and how she felt. With all that I already knew of Bella, she'd want to protect everyone from harm. She'd want a projectable force-field to cover those she cared about.

Jasper's story had been hard to swallow. I didn't believe him at first, until he brought in Charlie and Renee Swan. They confirmed everything, offering up proof – as if just being here wasn't proof enough – and wanted to take Bella with them.

Looking at my Bella, I thought about how much she really _wasn't_ _mine_. Things went from bad to worse as reality continued to sink in. She wasn't mine, she was going to go away, and she was everything they said she was. It made perfect sense. And I had been so wrong about her. I had been so hopelessly wrong about Bella, and I had invested my entire soul into a girl that now had to go.

Would she find me again?

Even if she did, I don't know if I could have it in myself to be with her.

It felt all wrong.

***

**JPOV**

"Do you remember Cystemaco?" I asked them all. There were nods all around. Of course they would remember – Carlisle had worked for Cystemaco for years before working at the hospital.

Cystemaco was a scientific research and development facility located in Seattle. They did a lot of genetic research, stem cell experimentation, DNA mapping and neurological research. Carlisle left Cystemaco because they began working with the government after a particularly huge breakthrough – not only had they developed what they called IVG (_In Vitro Gestation_) but had also made significant progress in designing DNA as well as accelerating growth in the womb. Carlisle didn't agree with some of the government's suggestions as far as accelerated IVG was concerned. They wanted to create soldiers to work on the frontline in the Middle East. The way the Pentagon saw it, people bred by IVG weren't real people – they had no parents and were programmed for no other life. Cystemaco could specially design hundreds and thousands of emotionless, fearless soldiers right down to their musculature and the tone of their voice – if Cystemaco gave them the ability to speak at all.

So where does Bella fit in?

"The big guys up in DC decided that IVG soldiers would be easier to pass through and justify if they used IVG in a way that could assist the 'everyday American'," I explained. They remained silent, holding on to my every word, the cogs in their heads just whirring and trying to make sense of it all. "They decided to experiment with... designer babies, I guess is what you would call them," I went on, sighing. This next part was the hardest of all...

***

**BPOV**

"Designer babies?" Jacob asked. I was clutching onto him with one hand while I leaned against Jasper's arm and Edward held me close to him. I didn't know what Cystemaco was, but I didn't like the sound of it. Why would anyone make someone solely for the purpose of using them in war?

"Parents who are unable, for one reason or another, to have children would be able to use IVG," I told them. "They take their ability to map DNA and design DNA, just like the soldiers. People can pick and choose the features of their child right down to their general temperament. They can make the child look just like them, or how they would have wanted to look as a child, or like someone else completely. They can _design_ their babies. They can even choose the age at birth."

"They can choose _age_?" Alice echoed, her voice filled with a horrified kind of awe. I nodded.

"You can choose exactly what age you'd like your child's life to begin at, beginning at 40 weeks after creation of course."

"You've been working for these people?" Esme asked, her usually pretty face creased with worry. I didn't like seeing her so upset. Everyone was upset. I just didn't understand. I mean, I understood his story but what did that have to do with me?

"I've been... kind of... not really," Jasper answered, obviously unsure of how to explain his connection to Cystemaco. I didn't really care. I wanted to know _my_ connection to them.

"What does this have to do with me?" I asked. Everyone just stared at me. Their faces were full of worry, full of sympathy. They knew already – they had figured it out and I was the only one being left in the dark. I looked to Edward, but he looked away from me. He'd never done that before. "Edward?" He shook his head as I tried to turn it to face me. I wanted him to look at me and tell me it was okay, and that he loved me no matter what. No matter what I was.

"Bella, I think what Jasper is trying to say is that _you_ are one of the IVG babies," Rosalie explained softly.

I felt as if my world was being torn apart and put back together again. Everything looked different now. If I was an IVG baby, the reason why I couldn't remember my parents because I _had no parents_. But there was still one question that stood out more than all of the others whirring around my head.

"But why can't I remember anything?" I asked. Esme sniffled, making me wonder why she was crying. It made no difference to our relationship – I would always think of her as my mother. Edward tightened his hold on me, protecting me. But from what? I didn't understand.

"Bella..." Jasper trailed off, looking at his feet again.

What wasn't he telling me?

***

**EPOV**

"This is exactly what we all warned you about," Alice hissed at me when we managed to get a minute alone. Everyone was sound asleep except myself, her and Emmett. We sat in the kitchen drinking coffee and fretting about the entire ludicrous situation before us.

"You don't understand, Alice."

"We all love her, Edward for crying out loud. But you've gone and gotten yourself and Bella into a huge mess. It's just a huge mess and-"

"Look, _I know_ all of this, okay?" I cut in tersely. I didn't need all of this crap reiterated. I _knew_ that I had done something disgustingly wrong by getting involved with Bella and for encouraging her to let her feelings get out of control. I didn't need reminding that she was going to be a wreck when she had to leave me. I didn't _want_ to think about how I already knew this was going to happen – because selfishly I had wanted to let myself feel what it was like to be truly in love with a person. I wanted to know what it was like to be with your soul-mate, or whatever.

"Lay off, Al... he feels like shit already," Emmett defended, throwing me a concerned look and passing me one of his cookies. Emmett didn't often show his feelings in a direct way, opting instead to do little things like offering food and favours when he wanted you to know he had your back. The only people he was directly affectionate to were Rosalie, mom and Bella.

"She's going to put up a fight," Alice sighed, holding her head in her hands. Emmett nodded, patting her shoulder.

"We're just going to have to make it as easy as possible for her."

"How easy can it possibly be? We're talking about _Bella_ here," I argued, gulping down my coffee. "I feel like a monster."

***

**JPOV**

"When Cystemaco decided to extend their IVG program to the public, they targeted a few specific couples – couples who had been trying unsuccessfully to conceive via IVF," I began.

"What's IVF?" Bella asked.

After a lengthy explanation of IVF and how it all worked and why it may not work for some couples, I continued on even though I wan't sure Bella fully understood it all. It didn't really matter anyway.

"Bella you were created for certain couple that Cystemaco offered their services to," I blurted, opting for a more direct approach this time. "The names of the people who wanted you are Charlie and Renee Swan."

"You know who they are?" Jacob asked. I nodded, but kept my focus on Bella who was frowning deeply.

"They made me?" she asked, her eyes searching my face. She was looking for a tell – a sign that I was lying to her.

"Cystemaco made you, yes."

"So I'm not even human," she whispered, a statement more than a question. I could see that it broke Edward's heart to hear those words. But they couldn't be more wrong.

"No, Bella. You are entirely human. There is nothing about you that isn't human, I swear," I assured her. I wanted to reach out and hug her, but I was afraid that she was afraid of me or in too much pain to handle it. She noticed my twitch and smiled – she never missed a damn thing for all of her observational skills. "You were made to be a daughter for Charlie and Renee."

"I… have parents?" she asked, looking completely lost and bewildered. The poor thing's world was coming crashing down around her and rebuilding itself in a completely different light. I couldn't imagine, not for one second, how confusing it must have been for her.

"_I'm_ your mother," Esme hissed, and we all knew the malice in her voice was directed at the Swan's rather than Bella herself.

"They own her," I told them. "They _ordered_ and _bought_ her. She belongs to them."

"Human trafficking is highly illegal," Alice pointed out. "It is a basic human right. It's part of International Law."

"Alice I'm sure they've found their way around that," Rosalie laughed, rolling her eyes. She was right. Cystemaco had, indeed, found loopholes that made IVG legal.

"But I still don't understand why I don't remember anything. If I was made to be a daughter for these people then I still have at least 16 years worth of memories missing."

"They wanted you this age, Bells," Jacob said softly, his eyes shut against the stress of it all. He swallowed and looked away. "You don't remember because you were born this age."

***

**EPOV**

My head snapped up for the first time that evening. My eyes had stayed trained on Bella's from the beginning of the conversation. I watched as her face went through a myriad of emotions, and I kept her close to me. I couldn't speak. My eyes darted rapidly between Jasper and Jacob. I waited for what seemed like forever to hear whether or not that was the truth. When we found her, was she just a newborn?

"That's partly right," Jasper nodded. I shut my eyes and leaned back against the couch. To anyone who didn't know me it could have been seen as a gesture of relief – but I was very far from relieved. My heart had just dropped into my stomach.

There were three tentative raps on the door. They echoed through the mansion and before I could stop her, Bella was jumping up and bouncing over to the door pulling me in tow.

Bella wrenched open the door without a second thought. I pulled her behind me immediately, having already known that the two figures from the car must have grown impatient.

The porch light revealed a man and a woman, tall and short respectively. From who I could guess they were, they didn't really look like Bella at all. They must have opted for choosing specific features unlike their own. The seemed just as taken aback by the appearance of their 'daughter' as she was by them. She didn't know them, after all, and with everything she'd just been told she must have been terrified.

Renee was the first to speak.

"You must be Isabella," she smiled. I recognised the way her nose crinkled and the way her upper lip almost completely disappeared. It looked impish, just like Bella did when she grinned. I felt Jasper behind us as I began to reply.

"It's Bella. Just Bella," I corrected, feeling Bella tug anxiously at my sleeve. She wanted to leave.

"Hey Bells," Charlie greeted. I didn't like how he used our nickname for her, but it sounded so natural coming from his lips. It was like he knew her, though he'd never met her before. Then I remembered he probably knew more about her than any of us knew about them. Bella shrunk further behind me and when I glared at Charlie's chuckle I recognised the deep chestnut eyes smiling back at me. She had his eyes, and she had her smile. The colour of her hair was a perfect mixture of Charlie's brown and Renee's red highlights. She looked more like them than I originally gave credit for.

I hated them.

"Charlie, Renee," Jasper greeted them. They nodded at him before trying to get a better look at Bella. I shielded her more – not only did I not want them to look at her, I particularly didn't want them to study her in her current condition. They would do better to see her when she was her natural, normal, stunningly beautiful self. They couldn't see properly what they paid for. "This is Edward Cullen and his mother Esme." I hadn't even noticed that Esme had joined us. She and Renee looked each other over, ruffling their feathers and puffing up like birds showing dominance. They both had claims to Bella in a maternal way and were sizing each other up.

"Please come in. I expect you have a lot to tell us," Esme greeted them, gesturing into the living room with one hand and pushing Bella and I both behind her with the other. Charlie and Renee followed us all in, looking slightly perturbed by the four other people glaring at them as they took seats near the fireplace. I sat with Bella opposite them. She still kept trying to hide behind my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry for the intrusion," Renee began. No one responded. "We don't mean any harm to Isabella."

"Her name is Bella," Jacob corrected this time.

"I'm sorry?"

"It's just Bella. Not _Isa_bella."

"Point is," Charlie interrupted. "We just need to know a few things about Bella here."

"For what purpose?" I asked. I wondered how they kept so polite when we were all being so hostile. I wanted them to be rude. That way I could hate them more legitimately. Charlie stratched his nose and I saw Bella staring at it. She touched her own nose, drawing the comparison and realising they were the same. Renee drew her legs up to her chest.

"For the purpose of coming to a decision. We need to know more about Bella to ascertain what we're going to do with her."

"What you're going to do with me?" Bella echoed, getting to her feet. I recognised the furious rumble in her chest, but her growl was new to the Swans and they looked to Jasper with alarm.

"Bella, honey…"

"Esme they want to take me away!"she cried, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I won't be able to have breakfast with you anymore! And I won't be able to watch movies with Emmett or read magazines with Rosalie or play with Alice's makeup! I won't have Jacob to play with and Jasper won't be able to teach me anymore-"

"Bella, please."

"Please what? Please just shut up and let them take me? What about Edward? What will I do without my Edward?" she sobbed, turning back and flying into my lap. "I'm not leaving. I want to stay here. I want my Edward forever. You can't take him from me," she mumbled into my shoulder.

"Do you see what you've done?" Alice asked, pleading with the Swans. "She's a normal girl that you've just had dumped into the world. She has been so confused for her entire life and now you want to rip her away from the only world she knows. You can't do this to her. Please, if you have any heart-"

"Just let us explain the truth," Charlie insisted, heading over and placing a hand on Bella's head. She flinched away from him slightly but eventually looked up, puffier than she already was.

"You won't make me go?"

"We haven't decided what's best yet, kid," he said. His words would have been comforting to her because she wouldn't see the lie underneath it. They were going to take her whether she wanted it that way or not. "Come sit with us and we'll tell you everything."

"I want to sit with my Edward."

"Okay. We'll come to you," he smiled. She hesitantly smiled back, but it didn't reach her eyes. Charlie beckoned Renee over, who sat cross-legged beside him and in front of Bella.

"What has Jasper managed to get out so far?" she asked, glancing up at Esme once more. Esme took them through the story up until they'd knocked on the door and Renee nodded slowly. "Well this is probably the most important part of all, because it explains so much."

"Let me just start out by saying one thing – we didn't want this for you, Bells," Charlie promised. "We can't have kids, see. We wanted a little girl so bad…" he sighed. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

"If you wanted a little girl then why did you order a teenager?" Emmett asked, his expression frightening to the newcomers. Even I was seeing the grizzly in him tonight, rather than the teddy bear that he was so often referred to as.

"There was a mix-up at Cystemaco," Renee answered, sighing. "One of the technicians didn't mark off an IVG chamber after it had been prepared to host a soldier. That is, it had already been injected," she explained.

"When our techinicians went into the room they saw an apparently empty chamber and injected the DNA that had been prepared for our case," Charlie went on, telling Bella more than he was telling anyone else. "They didn't realise that our chamber wasn't ready yet. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

Bella shook her head.

"You were meant to be our baby girl. Our perfect little miracle," Renee said with a watery smile.

"The man who previously injected the chamber came through and wheeled you over to where the other soldiers were being kept. Our own technicians had gone to lunch. What a shock they got when they got a page telling them that the Swan chamber was ready," Charlie snorted. "So they went looking for you, Bells. But they couldn't figure out which one of the chambers had the wrong person in it until each soldier had been in there long enough to survive a DNA test."

"Funnily enough, you were the first one they tried to test. The needle was so long – we were there to oversee it," Renee continued. Bella squeezed me. She hated needles. "And when they pierced the chamber your eyes flew right open. I'd never seen anything like it. Well they panicked, and they went right ahead and tried to stick you with it but the chamber just burst open. Everyone was in such a frenzy because you were still a couple of months away from being ready. You're physically 17, not yet 18 like they make the soliders. You were born too early."

"Then you just stopped breathing, kid," Charlie sighed. "And I just kept thinking 'there goes another one'."

"James and Victoria, the couple that runs the show over there at Cystemaco, they completely freaked out. It was the first one they'd lost. Laurent, the public liason was already there getting ready to spin a story about a genetic mishap rather than a grave miscarriage of care on the shoulders of Cystemaco. They told us they would refund our money."

"As for after that, we can only guess that they dumped you in the forest thinking you were dead. No one would know who you were and the case of the strange dead girl in Forks would be long forgotten when Cystemaco was eventually successful in their creating a child," Jasper finished for them, his hands twisting in his lap.

"Never did get our money back, either," Charlie chuckled.

"So why are you here? And what's been with all the questioning?" Rosalie asked in her usual frank manner.

"Well," Charlie started, getting to his feet and stretching before making his way back over to the obviously more comfortable lounge. "We figured we should find out how much of her is the girl we wanted versus how much of her is Cystemaco's soldier."

"Judging by her looks, she's all Swan," Renee grinned. Bella curled into me. "But from her medical results she has a great deal of soldier-like qualities about her. We wanted to get to know her personally, and through Jasper we've been able to do that to a certain degree."

"Then why not just leave it at that?"

"If we left it at that, son, she'd be the property of Cystemaco. See it all comes down to who owns her," Charlie told Jacob. "If she's ours then it's our call where she goes. James and Victoria are in close contact with us – they know everything and trust us enough to make a wise deduction. If we can see that she's theirs…" he trailed off, shrugging.

"Edward, I need you to buy me," burst Bella, sliding away slightly and taking my arm. She looked at me with such a desperate need I almost wilted on the spot. "I need you to buy me, okay?"

"I-I can't afford to buy you, Bella."

"But you work! You get money! You need to buy me and then I can be yours. Then we can have our own place and we can be a real couple-"

"What?"

"Esme I want to be a couple with Edward," she pleaded. "If you buy me, maybe-"

"Bella it doesn't work like that. The Swans have paid millions of dollars. We don't have that kind of money. We'll talk about this couple business later."

"But there might not _be_ a later!" she protested. Esme silenced her with a raised finger.

"We're not talking about you and Edward being a couple. Period."

"This is what I've been telling you," Jasper said to the Swans. Charlie nodded, looking amused by the exchange.

"She's definitey emotional," he chortled, scratching at his nose again. Renee rested her chin on her knee, watching Bella's every move.

"She only seems to have certain physical and mental advancements that Cystemaco designed for their soldiers. She's mostly Swan."

"Stop calling me Swan. My _name_ is Bella," she grumbled at them. Renee giggled. To say that I was relieved when it didn't bubble and chime is a total understatement.

"Well Bella Swan, it's very nice to meet you."


	19. Decode

**OKAY! So I know there is no excuse for my lateness so I'm not gonna bother to try and do the whole reasoning thing.**

**I shouldn't have left it there and made you all wait so long.**

**BUT!**

**I have managed to push out an 11k chapter! So please enjoy and thank you all so much for your ongoing support.**

**This chapter is called Decode and I know I did a Part One before but this isn't Part Two to Ave Mary A. Part Two is next chapter. Confusing, I know. That's just how I roll...**

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**EPOV**

There's something in the way that she looks at me that makes me think she knows exactly what's going on in my head. The way she hesitates, the way she's stopped throwing herself on me when I walk in the door after work, the way she clings desperately to me when I draw her close, the way her eyes go dead when she sees her friends being affectionate with their partners, the slight flinch I see when she hears those three words she aches for being said to someone else by someone else. I hear her crying at night and like an idiot I wait with my hand on the door until she falls asleep. She doesn't even know I'm there. No one does.

She knows I'll never kiss her again, and I think she knows why.

I'm killing her, but all I can think of is the fact that she's a baby. She is 6 months and 2 weeks old. Jacob was exactly right when he nicknamed her Baby Bells. She's a baby. My Bella, the love of my life, is a baby.

And I'm breaking my little baby Bella's heart.

But I have to. Because this is the only way she'll grow up right.

**BPOV**

"How are you?" Esme asked quietly, not wanting to wake Leah and Jacob who had fallen asleep on the lounge. I shrugged, sitting at the breakfast bar and quickly drinking some juice. I had learned that shrugging was better than telling people how you actually felt. I didn't feel very good at all. My heart was hurting and I was scared of losing my family.

Just like I'd lost Edward.

The thought of him sent a fresh wave of pain through my blood. I had gotten so good at hiding my tears – I thought I'd cried them all out before coming down to breakfast, but I was obviously wrong. They welled up and threatened to spill over quicker than I could distract myself. Luckily, Esme was busy rummaging in the fridge for something, so I excused myself and sat out on the deck. I stared into the forest and let the tears trail down my cheeks. I didn't bother to wipe them away.

I don't know how long it was before Jacob came out. He startled me and I didn't have time to hide – he saw that I was crying. He didn't ask me why I was crying; he didn't say anything at all, he just put his arm around my shoulders. He patted my hair when I lost control and sobbed harder than ever. I was making such a noise – I must've sounded like a wounded animal. He just shushed me and let me cry for Edward.

"I'm broken," I whispered between deep breaths.

"I know," he whispered back.

"I can't fix it."

"I wish I could fix it for you, Bella."

"I need Edward."

"Do you want me to get him?"

Part of me wanted him to run and get Edward, but the other part of me knew that if he went he would bring me the Edward who didn't love me anymore. I wanted the Edward who used to tuck me in, kiss my forehead and tell me every night how much he loved me. Not this Edward – the Edward who was afraid of what I was.

"No. I just need you to hug me, Jacob."

He nodded, shutting his eyes and pulling me closer. His deep breath shuddered a little, and he pressed a shaky kiss to my head. It didn't comfort me as much as Edward's kisses did.

"Come inside," he whispered, helping me up when my sobs had died down to sniffles. I pressed my palms to my eyes before standing. We both came face-to-face with Edward when we reached the door.

**EPOV**

"How long have you been there?" Jacob asked. I barely heard him.

Bella's tear-stained, heartbroken face was staring up at me with an agonized kind of desperation. Her wounded eyes and her heart-wrenching sobs would forever haunt me. More than her bruises at the hands of my father, her heartbreak and pain at my hands would forever be ingrained in my memory as the most devastating memory in history. She was searching for something in me, trying to work me out like the puzzles Charlie and Renee had taken to giving her every evening. They never took her very long, and I had a feeling she was going to crack me eventually as well.

"Are you okay?" I asked Bella, hating the way her eyes hopefully darted to my hand as it twitched instinctively towards her. She didn't answer me, she only moved closer – so close that her toes bumped mine. With that same wounded, agonized look in her eyes, she reached out hesitantly and took one of my hands. A tear slid down her nose but the pain seemed to alleviate slightly when I didn't pull away. I even allowed her to take my hand and place it around her waist, then repeat the motion with my other hand. She lifted one of her hands and rested it on my cheek, caressing with her thumb and letting out a shaky but somewhat relieved breath. She smiled a small, hopeful smile like she was asking for something. I knew what she was asking, and I wasn't going to say those words to her so I drew back. Her breath hitched ever so slightly as I broke our contact and her hands clutched at empty air before dropping to her sides. She was broken again, her lip quivering as she pleaded with those chestnut orbs that did me in every time. I turned to leave.

"Don't," she croaked, lurching forward but stopping short of holding me back. I glanced at her over my shoulder but said nothing. "Please," she whispered.

"Please what?" I asked. Jacob glared at me from beside Bella, he didn't like the coldness in my voice. He didn't understand that this is what was best for her.

"Please don't go," she begged.

"I need coffee," I lied. "Just wanted to see if you're okay but you've got Jacob so you can talk to him about it."

"Don't go," she repeated, tears falling freely now. I turned away from the sight and began walking to the kitchen. It was killing me, too. I heard her whimper before the sobs took over her fragile little body all over again.

***

"A quick word about Christmas, everyone," Esme began, only to be interrupted by Bella straight away.

"What's Christmas again?" she asked, clutching Korben. She had taken to carrying him around lately.

"It's a holiday where we celebrate life, love, birth, miracles… all of the good things in life. We give gifts to each other and we decorate the house-"

"We stuff ourselves with awesome food," Emmett added.

"And we sing Christmas Carols," Alice grinned. Bella smiled half-heartedly.

"Esme, do you think we could take Bella Christmas shopping? She missed out on shopping for birthdays – and I don't really see the harm now we know everything now," Rosalie asked, trying to find something to cheer her up.

"You don't have to," Bella shook her head, holding Korben tighter.

The doorbell rang. The Swan's were back.

"We'll talk about it later. Bella, do you want to go upstairs and get dressed?"

"Okay." Bella rose slowly and when she reached the staircase she bravely turned to face me. "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you please?" she asked. I was taken aback by her approach – she was learning more and more social skills every single day. Before, I would have been proud and found it endearing, humouring her and following her up the stairs so she could talk to me in private. She probably would have just wanted to tell me something inane that I found completely adorable. But things were different now. I was still proud of her progress, but I pushed any other feelings away.

I was going to say no. I was going to walk away. But Esme was standing close by and out of the corner of my eye I could see her watching, urging me to go with her. She was completely against our relationship – or whatever it was that we'd had – but she was even more against the way the light in Bella's eyes was dying out. I wasn't the only one who had noticed the change in her behaviour and general demeanour.

"Sure, I'll be up in a minute."

"Promise?"

She looked so desperate that I wanted to scoop her up and give her all the love and affection she needed to feel better – and I was also afraid that I was too late and that nothing was ever going to pull her out of this. Everyone goes through heartbreak, and I don't know of anyone who has ended up being with their first love forever – but Bella wasn't like anyone I'd ever known. She loves so intensely.

"Yeah I promise, Bella."

***

I shut the door behind me and was instantly reminded of the last time I'd hurt Bella by pushing her away. She had been in a similar position, hugging her little stuffed wolf and looking sad.

This time, even in her depression, she looked simply stunning. Her hair was falling in perfect spirals and… everything was just working for her. Her dress set off the brown in her eyes, the blue eyeliner smudged around them highlighted the small sections of blue near her hips. Her skin glowed against the cream coloured neckline and hem. Her lips were the perfect shade of pink.

Her legs were tucked under her body and her arms encircled Korben as she peered up at me, half worried and half relieved.

"You came," she breathed.

"I said I would," I replied, sitting beside her.

"The Swan's are going to take me away," she told me, getting straight to the point. I nodded at the floor then looked to her, silently asking what she wanted me to do about it. I mean, really, what was I meant to do? I couldn't stop them. They had legal papers stating that they were her parents. She belonged with them according to the court – at least until she was 21. "Before they do, they want to take me to Cystemaco." I nodded again. I knew all of this already. "Will you come with us?"

"I don't think I'm welcome."

"I'm afraid," she admitted, holding Korben so tightly that I feared he would break or something. She met my eyes and took in a deep, shuddering breath. "I know that… you, um… I know you don't… love me," she began, her voice cracking as though the words themselves were causing her physical pain. "But, um… I really need someone there that cares and… I mean, you still care about me, right?" she asked, her breathing becoming more and more erratic with every word. It was like she was being repeatedly stabbed in the chest. "Right?"

"Right," I nodded, swallowing my own grief.

"So you'll come?"

"The Swan's aren't going to hurt you, Bella," I assured her, staring at my hands. They had made it clear that they weren't comfortable with Bella's attachment to me – they found it unhealthy and they definitely would not want me being her safety blanket at Cystemaco.

"Edward?" I looked up at her, and the look in her eyes had nothing to do with the conversation at hand. "I love you so much," she whispered, placing Korben to the side and climbing into my lap. She didn't let me get away this time, in a rare display of her true physical strength. She wrapped her arms around me and snuggled into my chest, her legs locking around my back like the child she was. "I miss you," she sniffled, playing with my hair like her normal self. I left my arms at my sides but didn't struggle. "Hold me," she pleaded, her tears staining my shirt.

"Your parents don't like us cuddling this way."

"I need _someone_ to cuddle me."

"Jacob can cuddle you, Bella. What's the difference?"

"I don't love Jacob like I love you."

"Well I don't love you like you love me," I blurted, instantly regretting it. I heard the sharp intake of breath and felt her freeze. I swear I heard her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces.

"Bella?" Renee opened the door but when her eyes fell on us she didn't look as upset as I thought she would be. She looked more sympathetic towards me than anything. Thank goodness I'd kept my hands on the bed while Bella clung to me. "Baby, we're gonna do some more puzzles now. Come on." Bella slid off my lap without meeting my eyes. Picked Korben up and when she faced the door, Renee's face dropped. "Oh Bella, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Bella lied, pushing past and heading down the stairs.

"What happened just now?" Renee asked me. I just shook my head – I wasn't going to go into my private life with this stranger who had come to fuck my life up in a million different ways. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," I replied icily, pushing past like Bella did but heading outside instead of into the living room.

From outside, I heard Charlie's cheery greeting to Bella. Like everyone else, they were falling in love with her. They would have loved her even more if they had known her when she was happy. I suppose they did, through Jasper, but it was different seeing it for yourself. She hadn't giggled in the longest time – if it wasn't the sound that I lived for, I would have forgotten it by now.

"You look upset, kid," he commented. I spied through the window and saw him place an arm around her shoulder.

"I feel sad," she told him, quickly swatting a tear away.

"Why do you feel sad?"

"I just… do."

"You can tell me, its okay," he assured, squeezing her gently. She looked at her fingers as they fiddled with the bracelet Esme had given her when she was confused at Alice's birthday. She hadn't understood why she didn't get any gifts.

"There isn't one person in the entire world who loves me – not one," she stated sadly. Charlie studied her face, then sighed and rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Who said that?"

"No one. I just… figured it out."

"Like our puzzles?"

"Yeah."

"What was your biggest clue?"

"Edward."

"What about him?" Charlie asked, looking so confused it would have been comical in any other circumstance. He clearly wasn't used to being any kind of father figure. I wondered how well he was going to deal with having someone as high-maintenance as Bella with him all the time – always depending and relying on him for every kind of support.

"He said he didn't love me." Charlie gazed at her questioningly and she sighed before explaining more. "He used to, but he doesn't anymore. He just told me."

"And that makes you sad?"

He was obviously still in awe of her emotional capability.

"I feel like my life means nothing. I'm a mistake. I was okay with that, because Edward promised me that he loved me no matter how different I was. Since you came here and he found out the truth, he hasn't been very loving because he's afraid of what it means to love me. But I thought he still did, deep down. I thought he would eventually still want to be a couple with me. Now I know he doesn't love me at all. And there isn't any reason for me to be here. I'm not the daughter you wanted. I'm not the soldier Cystemaco wanted. I'm not the girlfriend Edward wanted. I'm nothing. I'm broken. I'm just a mistake."

***

**BPOV**

Esme was last to tuck me in tonight. Even though I did like being tucked in, I missed Edward doing it. I could hear him shuffling around in his room and Esme must have noticed my eyes wandering in the direction of the sound because she smoothed my hair down with a sorry look.

"You'll be okay, sweetheart," she promised, kissing my forehead.

"I don't like this," I admitted. I didn't like any of this. I didn't like that Edward wasn't spending time with me, I didn't like who I was, I didn't like what was happening to my family, I didn't like my new parents.

"I know."

"I don't like Renee, mom," I whispered.

Something about what I said put a very sad look in Esme's eyes. She teared up a little bit and scooped me up, pressing her lips to my hair.

"She's going to take care of you, Bella," she choked.

"I want _you guys_ to take care of me. You're the best at it. You know all of my favourite things and you know all the stuff I don't like, and she doesn't even know my _name_."

"Don't think about it," Esme soothed. "You're going to have a wonderful time with your parents and you'll still get to see us. They're talking about living here in Forks."

I nodded in agreement. I wasn't going to think about it right now. I needed to sleep and I needed to clear my head of all this junk that was just flying around in there, distracting me and making me feel horrible. "And tomorrow you're going to go shopping. That'll be fun for you," she smiled. I knew she didn't really like the idea of me going shopping, but she was going to let me go anyway, which made me really happy. I was finally going to see the outside world for real instead of on the TV. I was going to see elevators and fountains and shops and mannequins!

"I wish Edward would come say goodnight," I sighed, thinking aloud. Actually what I had been thinking was that I wished he would come shopping, but I _did_ wish he would come say goodnight as well. Esme rubbed my shoulder.

"He's in a very difficult place right now, Bella."

"He's in his bedroom," I frowned, looking over and seeing the shadow of his feet under the door.

"No I mean his mind is playing some very nasty tricks on him."

"Well that's not very nice," I grumbled, holding my toy wolf close to me. Korben had become my best friend since Edward had left me and Leah was hanging around more.

"He doesn't want to hurt you."

"Well he does. He hurts my heart very much," I sniffled, wiping a tear away quickly. Esme frowned at me like she was trying to work me out.

"Bella, what do you and Edward do when you visit him in the mornings?" she asked. I shrugged my shoulders and told her that I didn't visit him in the mornings anymore, which was the truth. I hadn't spent a morning with Edward in a while. "But what did you used to do, when you did visit him?"

"Nothing, really," I answered, shrugging again. I didn't understand why it would matter what we did, anyway. "Why?"

"I'm just curious. Tell me."

"Well he was usually sleeping when I went in there, so I would hop into bed with him."

"You would sleep there?"

"No, we're not allowed to sleep in the same bed. We would just cuddle and talk about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

I told her everything. I told her that we would talk about my breakfast, about what we were going to do that day. I told her that we would sometimes talk about my lessons and sometimes he would tell me about his work. I told her how I would ask him questions about things that Carlisle didn't explain properly like couples, dreams, feelings and sex. Her eyebrows shot up at that and she asked me why I would ask him about sex.

"Edward is really good at teaching me stuff. He knows how to explain things differently."

"Did he ever show you anything?"

"He showed me loads of stuff!" I nodded, grinning. "He showed me how to wink and he showed me how do rude finger signs and he showed me how to raise my eyebrow."

For some reason, she looked relieved. All I could think was how weird everyone was being lately. But then I understood – this was what Edward was talking about when he said we couldn't be a couple. Esme thought we had sex. "We didn't do sex stuff because we're not a couple and he didn't want people to think he was a pedoflile."

"Paedophile."

"Right. But Esme none of this matters," I sighed, shaking my head. None of it mattered because no matter what we used to do in his room when we were alone was, we were never going to do it again because he didn't love me anymore.

"It doesn't?"

"No, because Edward doesn't like being near me anymore. He doesn't love me."

"We all love you, Bella."

"Edward told me he doesn't."

"Well honey that's just his mind playing those tricks I told you about. Honest."

"You really think so?" I asked. I really hoped that Esme was right – she was hardly ever wrong about these things. Moms are really cool that way – they always seem to know things that other people don't know.

Renee didn't know anything about me, really. That's why I didn't want to go with her – she wasn't my mother.

"I really think so, Bella. Now get some sleep."

"Okay, mom. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie."

She kissed my forehead and left the door open a little bit – just the way I liked it.

***

**EPOV**

"Edward?"

Esme's tentative knock startled me as I fucked about with my guitar on my bed. She came in at my request and sat beside me, a determined but sympathetic look on her face. I knew that look. She was going to talk to me about Bella.

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"You've really hurt her."

"I know that, but it's for the best."

"How do you know that?"

"She's gonna grow up and forget about me and-"

"Not if they stay here in Forks. She'll have to look at you every day and wonder what she did to warrant the great loss she's feeling right now. The poor girl is using a stuffed toy as a replacement for the affection she used to get. As if it wasn't already enough that-"

"I really don't need this right now," I groaned, pushing my guitar to the side and raking my hands through my hair. I didn't need the only person who hadn't pried to be in here telling me what to do and how to feel and how to handle this – I really didn't. No matter if she was my mom or not.

"Well nor does Bella," she retorted, her eyebrow arcing defiantly. "I left the love of my life because he hurt that girl. You've managed to hurt her worse and she hasn't deserved either of your actions. Please think about that."

"What, you're threatening to kick me out as well?" I asked with a prickle of self-righteousness.

"No, Edward. I fought to keep you here. Just like I fought to keep Bella here. I thought you were on my side, honey. I thought you just wanted her to be safe and happy and healthy."

"I _do_ want that. That's the entire point," I clipped, rolling my eyes. Why didn't anyone just get it? Why couldn't anyone see that the reason I was pushing her away was because I wanted her to be able to form normal, healthy relationships that she would be safe and happy in? That's all I wanted for her.

"Well son, in case you haven't noticed, she's miserable."

"You don't want us in the kind of relationship that she wants us to have."

"Do you?" she asked, her eyes boring into mine. My answer to that particular question had the potential to destroy my relationship with my mother – but lying to her would be worse.

"I love Bella, mom," I confessed, my voice cracking a little as every emotion I was feeling began to bubble to the surface. "I really do. I love her so goddamn much. And I _know_ she loves me too, okay?"

"Okay, son."

"But the thing is, ma, I can't just…" I trailed off, groaning and flopping down onto my back, rubbing my fists on my stinging eyes. "I can't _do_ this. She's just a baby."

"Not in her heart, Edward."

"I don't know that."

"No one will ever know for sure except Bella. And she's pretty sure that she loves you as much as you love her. Now, I'm not going to pretend that I had hoped this wouldn't happen. I was scared for this, to be completely honest. But it's happened and you're going about this the wrong way."

"I don't know that it is the wrong way. I think this is the only way."

"That's because you're looking at it wrong."

I sat up then, pleading with her to tell me. I needed her to show me things the way she saw them because she seemed so sure where I was so completely unsure.

We talked for hours, and for the first time in a very long while I understood. I had to take things slow with Bella. I wouldn't completely deny her, but I wouldn't go back to the intensity we once shared. I would wait for her to come to me when she was a little more grown up, but I wasn't going to deny my feelings anymore.

***

The big day had come. Bella was leaving the house and going into the wild world of Christmas shopping. Esme had insisted that it might be too much for her first ever outside world experience but she was just so damn excited, and Renee and Charlie hadn't seen anything wrong with it. So she was going to go to the mall with myself, Jacob, Charlie and Emmett. The girls were going to stay home and decorate the place, much to Alice's disappointment. It was just easier for us guys to handle it if anything were to go wrong.

She waited excitedly by the door all rugged up and looking completely adorable. Even Emmett commented on how cute she looked in her white coat, red hat and blue scarf. Both Renee and Esme kissed her goodbye. I wondered if she felt as uncomfortable as the rest of us, having the Swan's act like her parents with Esme _right there_. It was kind of… well, it was kind of fucking rude if you ask me. But whatever. They have all the power, so…

"Ready, kid?" Charlie asked, smiling fondly as she practically bubbled over with excited.

"Yes!" she cried, wrenching the door open and flying over to Emmett's car. Charlie headed over and took the front seat.

"Christmas shopping!" she squealed, twirling under Jacob's arm before she got into the car. I slid in on her other side and her eyes widened in a happily surprised kind of way. "Hi Edward!"

"Hi Bella," I replied, fastening my belt and helping with hers. "What?" I asked as she kept grinning at me.

"You're coming with me!" she chirped, throwing her arms around me in an unexpected expression of pure glee. Charlie chuckled, watching from his mirror as I awkwardly patted her back. It was the first sign of affection I'd shown her in the longest time and she lapped it up, squeezing me tighter and pressing her cold nose to my neck. I jumped back, letting out a startled noise as her icy skin touched mine. Then it happened.

She giggled, and the bubbles and chimes filled the entire car. Everyone's faces lit up as she laughed into my shoulder and I couldn't stop myself from tickling her to keep that wonderfully joyful sound coming. I needed to hear her happy, I need to see her smiling and feel her little shoulders shake with laughter to know that she was going to be okay.

Out of nowhere, Bella gasped and pulled herself away from me. She looked around the car in total amazement, her mouth in a little "o" of wonder.

"There's music in this car!" she cried, immediately bouncing to the song on the radio.

"Most cars have music, Bells," Charlie grinned, shaking his head a little. He'd have to get used to her little outbursts – there wasn't much that she wasn't shocked by.

"Well the two other cars I went in didn't have music, did they Edward?" she said, asking for my support with a gentle prod in my side.

"My car has music," I informed her. She frowned and shook her head indignantly.

"_No_ I would remember if it had music! That was the funnest time I ever had in a car!"

Jacob cracked up at that, his dirty mind obviously playing up again. Emmett caught on to the joke, laughing along as Charlie looked curiously at us. Bella only looked confused.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing, Bella."

"I wanna know!"

"No you don't," I told her, rolling my eyes. Charlie looked back out his window.

"I definitely wanna know," she insisted.

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and just opted for telling the truth.

"They thought you meant we had sex in my car," I explained, effectively ending their laughter.

"That's silly! You don't have sex in a car!" she giggled. I laughed along because she was shaking her head like I told her they thought I was from another planet and because like most of our other conversations about sex, she was totally wrong. Charlie had his head in his hands.

"Welcome to our world, Charlie," Emmett grinned. Charlie grimaced and glanced at Bella through the mirror, who was still bouncing to the music and now gazing out at the snow.

"Besides," she added. "You wouldn't even let me have sex with you in the bed!"

At that, Jacob burst into laughter right as Charlie whirled his head around in shock. My hand flew up to my head in shame. _Jesus Christ, they'll never let me see her again…_

She mistook my reaction, quickly defending herself. "Well you wouldn't! You told me that we couldn't have sex because we weren't a couple and that I didn't really understand anything about it and that-"

"OKAY! That's enough from you," I exclaimed, covering her mouth with my hand. She kept talking, words muffled and incomprehensible. Eventually she gave a huff and settled for leaning on my shoulder.

"But I still love you even though you're mean to me," she sighed. Jacob chuckled and patted her knee.

"So you and Edward talk about sex?" Charlie asked, obviously quite disturbed by her outburst.

"No, not really," she amended, smiling at him and playing with the loose threads from the hole in the knee of my jeans. "I asked him why we couldn't be a couple, he told me that we couldn't because if we were people would think we had sex."

"Huh," he replied, eyeing me suspiciously. "And did you?"

"Did we what?"

"No!" I interrupted, shaking my head vigorously. "Of course we didn't! Christ!" Instinctively, I pushed Bella away as if to prove we had never been close that way. She looked wounded and Jacob took her hand offering her a small reassuring smile.

"Relax, Edward," Emmett called from the driver's seat. "You didn't have to push her." I looked over at Bella, who was looking down into her lap with her lips pursed. She was trying not to cry.

"Sorry Bella," I said, placing my hand on her knee. She just nodded. "Hey…" She looked up at me. "I'm sorry," I told her sincerely.

As though she were physically compelled to do so, she leaned back over and rested her head on my shoulder and linked arms with me, slipping her free hand into mine. I looked down at our entwined hands and I couldn't help but think how _right_ it felt. I felt like a yo-yo when it came down to our relationship. One second I couldn't even consider being with her because of her condition and the next I couldn't think of anything _but_ being with her because it was the most natural thing in to world the both of us.

***

We ran into Leah and some of the boys from the reservation while shopping. Bella was stuck to my side, and because of her terror of strangers I didn't push her away. I kept my arm around her shoulder while she looked around in wonder and held her back when she went to run at things that she found particularly amazing – like fountains and Santa and the big Christmas tree. Seth, Leah's little brother, was the most approachable of all the boys and managed to get a small hello from her. She was scared by the sheer size of them, and she wasn't in her comfort zone so they quickly left her alone.

Money fascinated Bella. Even though she'd learned all about it, she still found it weird that people exchanged items for paper and metal. She wondered aloud several times who decided what everything was worth in terms of coins and notes, but no one had an answer for that so we all just kind of brushed it off.

"What's that?" Bella asked for the umpteenth time, shoving a coupon in my face.

"Where did you get that?" Jacob laughed.

"It was on the floor! What is it?" she asked, waving it around in front of her own face in complete awe and fascination. I halted her frantic movements, gently taking it from her and placing it in her pocket. She grinned up at me and pointed above our heads. "What's that?" I looked up and saw mistletoe hanging. Jacob cackled at the sight.

"Yeah, what _is_ that above your head, Edward?" he teased. I flipped him the bird, provoking an astonished gasp from Bella – she knew what that finger meant because I taught it to her. She giggled and covered my finger.

"Don't be rude!" she reprimanded, wagging her own index finger at me comically.

"It's mistletoe. A Christmas plant."

"Why is it hanging there?"

"When you stand under it with someone, you have to kiss them," Emmett grinned.

"You don't _have_ to," Charlie amended, rolling his eyes and pulling Bella away from it. I thanked him with my eyes.

"Oh!" Bella responded, gazing above my head. Then she skipped over and planted the sweetest little kiss on my cheek. "Merry Christmas!"

"Yeah, uh… Merry Christmas, thanks," I mumbled, feeling awkward.

"I like Christmas," she sighed, taking my arm as we moved on.

***

We had loaded the car with the gifts and were heading back towards the food court for lunch when someone called my name. And I would recognise that voice anywhere.

"Jane," I nodded when she approached us. Emmett slyly ushered Charlie and Jacob away, but Bella wouldn't leave my side.

She looked the same as when we were dating, except her blonde hair was shorter now. She still had that angelic little cherub face that was in stark contrast to her personality – to put it bluntly, she's a fucking bitch who enjoys watching people suffer. Her smile was sickly sweet and unkind all at the same time. She clearly never did forgive me for dumping her right before prom.

"Edward its so good to see you," she cooed, leaning forward and kissing my cheek. I felt Bella's muscles tighten.

"I thought you went to Italy," I said casually, taking a step back when she stayed close.

"We did, but we're back now," she replied, gesturing to her twin brother, Alec.

Alec was as much a prick as Jane was a bitch and I suddenly wanted to get out of there, fast. "It was very eye-opening."

"I'm sure it was." She introduced herself and her brother to Bella with that same sweet smile on her face that I wanted to wipe off with my fist.

"I'm Bella," I heard her say shyly, peeking out from behind my shoulder.

"Bella… you're new around here, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I can tell."

"You can?"

"Oh yes, you see… Edward has pretty much fucked his way through all of Forks, and it makes sense that he would jump on the fresh meat as soon as he could."

"Excuse me?"

"God Jane, just get over it," I muttered, rolling my eyes and guiding Bella away by her waist. She kept looking over her shoulder at Jane curiously.

"You'd better get tested, girlie! You don't know what diseases he's carrying!" she called. I turned on my heel and marched right back up to her. She stopped her snide laughter immediately, looking a little frightened. Bella tottered after me, looking alarmed as she tugged on my arm.

"Let's go, Edward," she urged.

"Hang on a minute," I mumbled. "Jane, you seem to have a bit of a problem with me."

"Damn right I do, asshole."

"Hey!" Bella had her hands on her hips now, looking adorably grumpy. "Don't call him that!"

"Or what? You'll set your pixies on me? You pose no threat to me, or anyone else _little girl_ so don't try to act all tough."

"Don't take your shit out on her," I spat. She ignored me and kept firing her malice at Bella.

"You just wait. Once he fucks you he'll be out of there. No matter if its just before Christmas. He doesn't care about things like that. He doesn't care about anyone but himself."

"He cares about me," she countered.

"Bella, don't," I warned. Jane and Alec were both laughing now. They were textbook bullies – something Bella didn't handle very well. She either let people walk all over her or she attacked them. Either way, I didn't see this ending well. "Let's go, come on."

"He doesn't love you, no matter what he says. He says he does, then he just takes everything away. And he doesn't even care. Because once he's gotten what he wants from you, it's all over."

Bella stopped dead in her tracks. I could tell that Jane's words were echoing around in her head, mocking her. I had done just that to her. I had told her I loved her, promised her things that were never going to come to pass because I had taken it all away. Jane had hit her in the most sensitive spot she had right now.

"And why do you think he'd stick around with a girl like you, anyway?" she added, just twisting the knife.

I couldn't hold Bella back as her face twisted with rage. She flew over to Jane and took her by the throat, pinning her against a column. People started to take notice of the scene as I rushed to them. Bella was growling more fiercely than I'd ever heard before.

"A girl like me?" she sneered as Jane gasped for breath. "You have no idea what kind of girl I am. You have no idea what I'm capable of. And you have no idea about Edward and me so just shut up, you stupid little-"

"Bella!" Charlie pried her off Jane as Emmett held Alec back. "What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Security had arrived by then and Jacob held his hands up.

"We're leaving, we're leaving," he told them defensively, shooting a hate-filled glance at Jane before leading the group to the exit. People were staring, pointing and murmuring. Bella just followed us, her head hung, breathing slowly in and out as if to calm herself.

***

"Can you tell me what in the hell that was all about just then?" Charlie bellowed once we were in the car, heading back home.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Bella mumbled, burying her head in the new teddy bear Emmett had bought for her. Charlie wrenched it out of her hands.

"You _are_ going to tell me, Isabella."

"It's _Bella_!"

"What. Happened?"

Bella huffed, crossing her arms and looking out the window. I had never seen her this stubborn before and the only conclusion I could come to was that she was perhaps going through the adolescent stage in her accelerated yet stunted life.

"Young woman if you don't answer me right now…" Charlie threatened from the front seat. She turned her heated stare on him.

"What? What will you do? You said it yourself, I'm built to kill. I can kill you if you hurt me," she shot back. Emmett pulled over suddenly and faced her angrily.

"What has gotten into you?" he asked.

"Nothing!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," she responded, glaring at him now. She was in the foulest of foul moods, and even _I_ didn't understand it this time.

"Well I'm taking my teddy bear back," he mumbled, restarting the engine. "Because people who threaten to kill other people don't deserve any teddy bears."

"That's not fair!" she protested, looking to Jake for support but only finding disappointment. "What so people can treat me any way they want and as soon as I say one thing wrong everyone is really mad?" she asked, looking around. None of us would look at her even though her words must have struck a chord somewhere. "That is so not my friend," she added in a grumble.

When we got home, Bella announced loudly that she hated Christmas and that everyone was no longer her friend before stomping upstairs. At the stop of the stairwell she paused to look down at everyone – we were all staring up at her confused by her moodiness.

"And that Jane girl is the meanest person in the entire world and _I hate you_ Edward Cullen!" she added before turning on her heel and marching to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"Well," Jacob chuckled. "That was one hell of a tantrum. Guess she's the jealous-type."

***

It really wasn't funny, so I didn't know why everyone was so amused by it. I mean, there were important issues at hand like the fact that Bella had _attacked_ someone in plain pubic view… but then again, copious amounts of egg nog had been consumed so that would probably explain their lack of concern. I downed my fourth glass and let sweet intoxication wash over me.

"Maybe we should take Bella some of this. Loosen her up," Jasper joked, gesturing to the pitcher of eggnog that had just been replenished by Emmett. The Swans and Esme had already crashed out, weaklings that they were. Alice was well on her way because she was a fucking lightweight but she was battling the sleep fiercely even though she knew she would eventually lose. Jacob and Leah were sitting by the fire pretending that they knew what they were doing in a game of chess.

"Oh god remember when Emmett fed her vodka?" Rosalie giggled, leaning against his legs. He played tenderly with her hair as we laughed at the memory. It has been pretty funny to watch her waltz around happily.

"She chucked four times that night," I contributed, earning a playful scowl from Jasper.

"You said you'd get me!"

"Yeah it was necessary that _you_ be the one to hold her hair back," I shot, throwing a cushion at him and rolling my eyes.

"She's awesome," Emmett grinned. "Edward, go cheer her up!" he demanded, slamming a fist on the coffee table and spilling some of his drink. He looked at it forlornly and Rosalie warned him not to lick it up, recognising the longing expression on his face.

"Why do I have to?" I whined, pouring myself another glass and downing it in one.

"Because its your ex that upset her and its your fault her your exes upset."

"It is not my fault that she feels this way about me. I didn't tell her to and I didn't want her to in the first place but the thing is that she does and that therefore makes me responsible for her feelings," I argued in full circle, confusing myself by agreeing with Emmett in the end. I stood with two glasses and made my way upstairs, hoping to apologise and give her noggy goodness. Noggy goodness makes everything better. Halfway up the stairs, I turned back and grabbed the entire pitcher. I took it up and tapped on her door with my foot.

"Go away. I hate you," was Bella's pleasant greeting to me. She's a real charmer sometimes. I held up the pitcher and glasses to her.

"You can't hate the bringer of eggnog. It's a rule," I informed her, ignoring her scowl and plopping down next her o the bed.

"What's eggnog?" she asked, eyeing the pitcher as thought I'd put drugs in there. If I wanted to bang her, I wouldn't need any damn drugs – she'd just let me do it. I didn't understand her suspicion.

"An awesome drink of total awesomeness," I replied, twisting her own description of me. She quirked an eyebrow at me. Fucking adorable little bitch – I shouldn't have taught her how to do that.

"I'm not allowed to have silly drinks, remember?" she reminded me. her body was only seventeen, even though she wasn't one yet or… something. What-the-fuck-ever. The law considered her not yet eighteen so she couldn't technically drink for another six months or so.

"You've had one before," I shrugged, pouring her a glass and offering it to her. She took it but didn't drink – she just kept staring at me. "What?"

"You're drunk," she accused, narrowing her eyes. It was really cute. I told her so. "Thanks but I'm not having this stuff. I didn't like it last time I had silly drinks and I'm still mad at you," she pouted, crossing her arms and looking away from me. I groaned and took her drink, placing it next to the pitched on the bedside table. I noticed that she'd recently added a photo to her collection.

There were photos all around the room of our family and Jacob, but the one that she'd had of Carlisle had been replaced. In a little heart-shaped frame was a picture of the two of us. We were at the piano and our heads were resting against each others as I played for her. I absently picked it up and studied it more closely. Bella noticed and scooted over to look at it with me.

"That's my favourite picture ever," she stated, running a finger over my two-dimensional duplicate. I realised that I was kissing her had in the photo and both our eyes were closed blissfully. It was a perfect representation of the peace and happiness our love brought each of us.

"You look beautiful," I said without thinking. She really did, though. In that photo, there was no complication – she as simply a beautiful, happy girl who was in love with a boy playing piano for her. No IVG, no weird baby stuff. Just us.

"Will you play something for me?" she asked, tracing my shape some more. I could see that longing in her eyes that told me that she missed our happily ignorant existence before all of this happened. The adoration in her eyes didn't fade when she tore her eyes from the picture. She looked right into me with those huge eyes of hers and it may or may not have been the rum in my blood but I saw a kind of beauty in her that I'd never seen before.

Sitting there on the bed with her and her expression, I saw a girl who was more grown up than I gave her credit for. She wanted to be with me and I could tell that she wanted to kiss me and I could tell that she wanted to drag me downstairs and make me play her music all night but while I child would demand and pout and stomp their feet, Bella simply waited for my answer without saying all of the things she probably wanted to say in that moment. So I took her downstairs with me, making her hold the pitcher. I lead her into the living room and sat her next to Emmett, who was the only one who hadn't passed out. I took the liberty of waking Jasper and thrusting my guitar into his arms while informing Emmett that he was in charge of percussion.

"What are we playing?" Jasper asked, yawning as he tuned up sloppily.

"Let's do Iron Man!" Emmett suggested enthusiastically, banging the coffee table with his chopsticks and somehow managing to fall over even though he was sitting down. "I. AM. IRON MAN! DUHNUHNUHNUHNUHNUHNUH DUH NUH NUH!"

"We're not doing Iron Man!" I exclaimed, dropping my music book. I stared at it for a long while, willing it to come to me… I really couldn't be bothered getting it.

"You're all drunk! I am so not touching that nog stuff…" Bella said, shaking her head with strong conviction. I smirked at Emmett, who smirked back. We both knew he was going to make her drink a 'non-alcoholic' glass by the end of the night.

But the music book was still on the ground and Jasper was done tuning. I needed it!

Bella came to the rescue, shuffling over and propping it up on the stand for me. She took her place next to me on the stool and began flipping through the book curiously. I gently halted her movements and assured her that I knew what I was looking for when I took the book back into my hands.

"You can't look, go back to Emmett."

"But I always sit with you!" she protested, her bottom lip sticking out as she pouted at me. I bopped it with my index finger.

"Go sit with Emmett."

"Fine," she sighed and obediently took her place.

I started to play her song – the song that Alice played all the time that we all knew and that reminded me of Bella so much it made me want to sing along. I knew she loved it so tonight would be the first time I would sing along to that song. I would sing it for her – because that's what sappy drunken assholes do. They sing for the girls they love.

As the opening chords rang out, Bella's face lit up. She already knew what I was playing for her. But she didn't expect it when I opened my mouth and began to sing the words.

"_You're a falling star, you're the getaway car, you're the line in the sand when I go too far. You're the swimming pool, on an August day. And you're the perfect thing to say…_"

I thought about the words and how true they rang for us as she swayed along, bopping net to Emmett who was tapping a little beat with the chopsticks as Jasper played the guitar along with my piano. It didn't sound awesome because we were all drunk off our asses but she seemed to love it anyway, and that's all that mattered. I took a deep breath and kept going, getting more into the song, my eyes shutting as memories of us flitted into my consciousness.

"_And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute! When you smile at me you know exactly what you do. Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true. Cause you can see it when I look at you._"

I looked at her then, and she was gazing up at me with adoration, mouthing along with the words.

"_And in this crazy life. And through these crazy times, it's you, it's you. You make me sing. You're every line. You're every word. You're everything._"

Emmett gave up the percussion and swept Bella off the floor, dancing with her. She didn't take her eyes off me, and I smiled at her, trying to show her how much I loved her and hoping and praying that she would never forget – that she would never let herself believe that I didn't love her, even if I said so. I needed her to be the strong one, because I wasn't strong enough to stay true to my feelings all the time – I had figured that out only recently, and if she couldn't be the one to bring me back to the reality of us then we'd lose each other.

And I couldn't lose my everything.

"_You're a carousel. You're a wishing well. And you light me up, when you ring my bell. You're a mystery, you're from outer space. You're every minute of my every day._"

"Sing it, brother!" Emmett chimed, dipping Bella.

"_And I can't believe that I'm your man! And I get to kiss you, baby, just because I can! Whatever comes our way, oh we'll see it through. And you know that's what our love can do._"

I kept singing even though Swans had padded out to see what all the noise was about I moved away from the piano – leaving Jasper to the guitar – and took her into my own arms as I continued to serenade her. She giggled as I lead her, twirling and dipping and dancing badly but with a joyousness that I hadn't felt in a while.

"_You're every song. And I sing along. Cause you're my everything._"

I ended the song holding her close. She practically vibrated with happiness and threw her arms around my neck, hopping up on her tiptoes to crush her lips to mine. I wound my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. Emmett made disgusting noises behind us and I'm guessing Jasper was just too shocked or too drunk to say or do anything.

But Renee wasn't.

The bitch ripped her away from me, eliciting a growl out of the once-bubbly-again Bella.

"Don't you growl at me, young lady!" Renee snapped.

"Easy Renee," Charlie chided. "You wonder where Bella gets her temper from."

"Don't touch me," Bella warned, looking slightly dangerous. I took her hand, knowing my touch would calm her.

"Don't you touch her," Renee warned in the same tone as her daughter. The air crackled with both of their tempers flaring – the electricity of two women defending people they cared fiercely about. I stepped back obediently, only to have Bella step back with me and take my hand once more.

"He can touch me all he wants," she said; her words only adding sparks to their bad energy.

"I just said I don't want him touching you. He's not to touch you."

"Why do you get to choose who touches me?" Bella asked, the beginnings of another growl resonating in her chest. I rubbed her hand gently with my thumb, trying to smother her anger with my affection.

"Because you're mine," Renee stated simply, as though that were the end of the matter. I don't know why she thought Bella would just accept that – until the Swans came along she was raised to believe she was her own person. Anyone who told her different were painted as brutal abusers – which they were, of course – so there was no way she would just accept that someone else was in charge of making choices for her.

"I'm not yours. I'm Edward's Bella. He found me, he named me. I'm Edward's," she argued.

"I am way too drunk for this…" Emmett mumbled, plopping down next to Rosalie and Alice's sleeping forms. They must have been _really_ drunk to sleep through all of this crap.

"Wrong!" Renee laughed. "You are _mine and Charlie's_. We ordered you. We made you. We paid for you. And now we get to keep you. And we can make you believe _Edward_ never even existed, so watch yourself," she sneered. Bella flinched at her words, holding my hand tighter. Renee turned and marched upstairs. As she did, Bella bent low into a crouch. I knew that position and damned if I was going to stop her from pouncing the evil bitch.

"Don't do it, Bells," Charlie warned, looking more concerned than menacing. He came closer once Renee was up the stairs and looked Bella square in the eyes. "I'm gonna talk to her about all of this okay? She's still a little buzzed and when she's not the nicest person in the world when she's been drinking," he explained with a sad smile. "She's still getting used to you, kid," he assured her. I liked Charlie. "I promise you that when you live with us, you can call and visit Edward all you like. I might even let him take you on a date when you're a bit older," he winked at the both of us. I was gonna hold the fucker to that. I definitely liked him. "But for now, don't let your mom get to ya."

He ruffled her hair and walked out, waving goodnight to the rest of us. Emmett sighed with relief when they were gone.

"Thank fuck that's over!" Jasper cried, plucking random notes on my guitar. I looked down at Bella and asked if she was okay.

"I would like… some nog," she nodded, taking the pitcher and drinking straight out of it.

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" Emmett chanted, laughing giddily as she took several large gulps of the stuff. She shuddered after, making the same post-alcohol face as she'd done the first time. "More singing!" Emmett demanded, not waiting before bursting into Eye of the Tiger. Jasper tried to keep up on the guitar, but gave up after a few seconds, opting to just sing the music instead.

The night carried on with the four of us singing every movie theme song we could think of. Bella's giggles were out of control while we attempted to remember the Superman theme and getting mixed up with Indiana Jones or Star Wars every time.

"Hey, what's the theme song from Leeloo?" Bella asked, slurring her words adorably.

"It's called The Fifth Element, _Isabella_," Emmett corrected a little harshly. Bella glared at him.

"Don't make me angry," she warned.

"You wouldn't like her when she's angry," I teased, cocking an eyebrow.

"BELLA POUNCE!" she cried in a rather weak impression of The Hulk before pouncing onto me with a giggle. "What's the theme song from The Hulk?"

"It doesn't have one."

"Every movie has one!"

"Well the one from The Hulk is so crappy that no one remembers it," I answered, feeling rather confident when Emmett nodded in agreement.

"I know one! I know one! Guess the movie this one is from!" Bella chirped, sitting up in my lap and facing the others, taking a deep breath ready to sing as I slipped my arms around her and rested my lips on the back of her shoulder. "_Baby look at meee!_"

"It's Fame!" Emmett answered immediately. Bella frowned.

"You're too good at this game – "

"It's not my friend," we chorused, already knowing what she was going to say.

"Yes!" Bella laughed, clapping her hands gleefully. "I made my own slang!"

***

**BPOV**

I had never felt like this before. When Esme had told me about heaven and hell I thought I had understood what she meant. Until now. I _had_ to be in heaven. There was no other explanation for all of these wonderful, warm, tingling, fantastic, delicious feelings.

Edward's kisses were everywhere. I mean _everywhere_. And it felt _good_.

He dragged his lips up my stomach and chest to my mouth. We kissed slowly and lazily, but things weren't calming down – they were only getting better. I could feel the calluses on his fingers as his hands began running all over me. His teeth were grazing my neck, showing me a whole new side to biting. A side that I _really_ liked. I could see our clothes all over the room and the door wasn't locked but I didn't care. I wasn't going to let anything stop me from feeling like this.

He laid me down and as he hovered above me I knew what was going to happen. He leaned down and kissed me once, softly and tenderly. He told me he loved me and I could feel his hand gently nudging the inside of my thigh so he could settle between my legs…

"Bella?"

I woke with a start and grabbed the sheet straight away. I needed to cover myself!

Or did I?

I looked down, confused at my fully dressed form, and then over to Edward.

"What were you dreaming about?" he asked, smirking. He looked very amused. I wasn't.

"I wasn't dreaming," I lied. He could tell because I suck at lying. I blushed.

"Now you have to tell me because you've never been that red in your entire life," he laughed, pulling me close. His finger grazed my breast accidentally and my breath hitched as it sent a jolt of heat through me.

"Did you stay with me last night?" I asked.

"No, you stayed with me. We're in my room," he replied, rolling his eyes. "You're avoiding my question."

"You're gonna get in trouble."

"You're leaving in three days, I really don't care how much trouble I get in. I don't want to throw away any time with you," he reasoned, kissing my lips. My mind took me back to the dream and it made me pull away quickly. I leapt out of bed and checked myself again for clothes. They were definitely still there.

"Dreams suck!" I muttered, tying my hair back and sitting back down on the bed. Edward slid over and fixed my hair, pressing little kisses to my shoulder. It made me feel all funny. I stood back up. "Don't do that," I pleaded.

"Why not?" Edward asked, looking a little bit hurt.

"It makes me feel weird."

"Good weird or bad weird?"

I hesitated before answering honestly. It was _definitely_ a good weird. But that didn't mean I wanted him doing it!

"Okay, come here," he chuckled, waving me over. I raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not gonna do anything," he promised. I went over and sat with him and he hugged me tight. "I promise not to do anything that makes you feel weird."

"Thank you."

"But I gotta tell you… it's really fucking funny that you feel like that. Because now I know what you were dreaming."

My eyes widened. He couldn't know!

"No you don't!" I said quickly, turning red again.

"Oh yes I do," he laughed. "Little Bella is having sex d-"

"No I'm not having sex dreams!" I denied, feeling my face growing hotter.

"Sorry, you're right. You're not having sex dreams."

"Thank you," I sighed.

"You only had _one_ sex dream," he amended, laughing harder as my expression went from relief to horrific embarrassment in a split second. "Relax, Bella."

"Its embarrassing," I mumbled, burying my head into his shoulder. He pressed his nose into my hair and breathed in deeply, rubbing my back.

"Everyone has them. It just means you're growing up," he promised.

Ever since that night with the eggnog, Edward had been letting me be close to him. He was happier with me, kissing me and cuddling me every chance he could. It was perfect. It was as though he'd decided to turn everything around on its head but in the best way possible. Instead of him holding me at a distance because I was leaving, he was keeping me closer than ever. He told me how much he loved me several times every day and I showed him how much I loved him in every way I could. I didn't want to leave, but Charlie said he was even thinking of letting Edward come with us for a little while, so there might not even be a need for us to say goodbye in the end. And even if I didn't live here anymore, I was promised that I could call every day. And I could visit on special occasions.

"I want to stay with you," I whispered, squeezing him tight. I felt him smile against my skin.

"I might still be able to come to Phoenix until you move back, remember?" he reminded me, pulling back to look me in the eyes. "Don't even worry about it. Even if you have to go without me, you'll be back really soon. Sooner than when I was at school. We made it through that."

"You're weird when you're being happy."

"You're weird when you have sex dreams," he replied, winking. I pushed him away and growled playfully. He was the only one that let me growl anymore. Something about social skills.

"I love you," he chuckled, pulling a shirt on and ignoring my fake anger. He scooped me up and threw me over his shoulder, taking us down to breakfast.

"I love you too, butthead!" I giggled, trying to pants him from my upside-down position.

I had my Edward back.

Things couldn't get any better.

* * *

**This is not where I wanted to end this chapter originally. I wanted it to end somewhere else but I kept getting idea after idea after idea so it's had to end here. So rest assured I have plenty of inspiration for next chapter. **

**I am separating Bella and Edward, sorry, but it **_**WILL NOT**_** be a permanent separation. I could never do that to them! Or to you all! Or to myself! Edward and Bella NEED to be together, so they will be!**


	20. Ave Mary A Part Two

**I know this is a short one, but I do have the next chapter started already!**

**Can't wait to hear what you all think of this one! **

**Enjoy!**

**Also, please read Stripped by punkfarie! It is just deliciously awesome!**

**EPOV**

"So we'll be back in three weeks?" I asked again, zipping up the last of the luggage. Renee nodded, marking off a checklist with Bella to make sure she'd packed everything that was necessary. She pulled out a few bags of gummi bears with a stern look and Bella grinned sheepishly, taking them and hugging them to herself.

"I need them," she tried. Renee shook her head and pointed to the table, still going through the checklist. I snuck them into my bag with a wink.

"Bella I want you to get an early night okay? No staying up to ungodly hours with Edward. Asleep by eleven," Renee said, folding up her list and putting it in her pocket. Bella frowned at her.

"I don't really control what time I get tired," she argued, shrugging.

"You need lots of sleep for the trip."

"But if I'm not tired at eleven I won't be able to sleep."

"Well trying to sleep is better than behaving like a crazed monkey with Edward," Renee muttered, rolling her eyes. "It's not negotiable, Bella," she called over her shoulder as she walked out of the room.

"Your face is not negotiable," Bella mumbled, scowling after her. I tugged her over by her waist, my nose diving into her hair as soon as she was close enough.

"I'll come keep you company," I promised. She looked up at me with a smile.

"Will you stay?" she asked, knowing the answer already by the sparkle in her eyes. I had spent every night with her lately and I wasn't about to change that just because I was going with her.

"You know they're going to kill me," I joked, leaning in for a kiss.

"I won't let them," she smiled, closing the distance between us, her eyes fluttering shut at the same time as mine.

Kissing Bella wasn't like anything else I'd ever experienced. Her lips were soft, warm and sweet – and my hands fit perfectly in the curve of her waist. Her fingers were gentle as they weaved through my hair and she always, _always_ tasted like gummi bears.

"I love you," she breathed, lingering so close that her lips brushed against mine as she spoke.

"I love you," I echoed, pressing a small kiss to her nose. Eagerly, she reached up on her tip toes to kiss me again. I chuckled softly as I kissed her back, but we were interrupted as always by someone just barging into Bella's room. They really had to learn to give her some privacy if they were hoping to raise her like a normal girl.

Charlie cleared his throat uncomfortably, averting his eyes. Bella pouted as I pulled away and turned to him, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

"Dinner's here," he mumbled, staying put when she brushed past him. His eyes were trained on me as I pretended to look over my luggage one more time. "Edward."

"Yeah?"

"Dr. Cullen called Cystemaco and reported Bella a hazard," he blurted. When I turned around his face was a twisted expression of worry and confusion. "He knows she attacked that young girl in the mall. He wants them to take her back. They called us today and want us to take her for an evaluation."

"No," I said simply. There was no way she would get out of that place unscathed. I wasn't going to have her there – it was like dragging a steak into a lion's den.

"We don't really have a choice-"

"There's always a choice," I clipped, cutting him off. They could hide her, they could keep her safe and away from those vultures who were on Carlisle's side – trying to make her out to be an emotionless soldier so they could experiment on her guilt-free.

"They have power, Edward. More power than you can imagine. If they want her, they will find her and they won't let anything get in the way. I'm only letting you know about our detour out of courtesy, and so you can prepare Bella tonight."

"You can prepare her tonight."

"I'm not the one who's going to be spending the night in her room," Charlie challenged, raising an eyebrow. I figured this was his way of saying I could stay the night so long as I gave Bella a talk about going to Cystemaco. It was going to completely ruin our last night in this house.

"Our dinner's gonna get cold," I muttered, pushing through the doorway and heading down the stairs with Charlie close behind me.

***

Bella's steady breathing was hypnotic. She clutched my shirt gently, her lips pushing out with each exhale. She looked completely at ease sleeping on my chest. I didn't ever want to wake up to anyone else. She was just perfect.

As I looked down at her, I couldn't help but trail my fingers down her arm. I smiled as her skin formed goose bumps under my touch. She reacted to me even in sleep.

"Edward…"

The corners of her mouth turned up into a small smile.

"Morning, Bella," I whispered, brushing her hair away from her face and kissing her forehead like I did every morning.

"Not yet," she protested, snuggling into me and sighing with content when she found her little niche again.

"We have to leave in an hour," I grinned, digging my fingers into her ribs and tickling. Immediately, her body seized up and she began to giggle. She pushed me away playfully and sat up, blearily rubbing her eyes and stretching.

"I don't wanna go to stupid Cystemaco," she complained, yawning loudly. "They're gonna ask me stupid Carlisle questions and stupid stinking Carlisle is a douche. I hate him so much. I thought he was a nice dad but Charlie is a better dad than Carlisle. Carlisle is such a-"

"You guys dressed?" Emmett yelled from the other side of the door. I rolled my eyes as Bella looked at the door as if it had just asked her what sound a dog makes.

"Why the hell would we be naked?" she asked in response, her tone hilariously confused.

"You might wanna… leave with a bang," he replied, pushing the door open and grinning at me with a wink.

"And you've gotta be naked to do that?" she asked apprehensively. Right before she was leaving, she was finally figuring out that Emmett's mind was not always to be trusted.

"Well, I suppose you don't _have_ to be naked."

"I don't think being naked around anything that explodes is a good idea. Just saying," Bella shrugged. Emmett laughed and flew over to Bella, easily throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her downstairs.

I followed after I had a shower and found Bella surrounded by my very anxious-looking family. Jacob was there too, looking more distressed then I'd ever seen him in my entire life. He was normally such a happy guy. Anyone would've thought that she'd been given a diagnosis of terminal cancer or something, when in truth she was leaving Forks for a few weeks. Sure, she wasn't going to live with us anymore, but Charlie kept assuring us that she was going to able to visit whenever she wanted as long as it didn't interfere too much with her education. If there was anyone that I thought I could trust, it was Charlie.

Esme was in the middle of giving Bella a long talk when I finally joined them. I took my place beside Bella and she reached blindly over to hold my hand. I took her little hand in mine and squeezed supportively as I noticed the tears trailing down her cheeks.

"And you'll be the best Bella that you can be, okay?"

"Okay, Esme," Bella choked, sniffling lightly. Esme leaned over and wiped some of her tears away, completely ignoring the tears that were dripping off her own chin.

"I'm so proud of you, honey. You've come so far from the girl we first met. You're a beautiful, loving, smart young woman."

"I'll never forget how much you've done for me," Bella whispered before straightening up and addressing everyone else. "You've all been so wonderful to me. I feel like I'm abandoning you all. But I promise I'm going to grow up with the Swans and make you all proud. I'm going to be the best person I can be and I'll have every single one of you to thank," she smiled.

"You're not abandoning anyone," Charlie promised, resting a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, still smiling.

"You're the best father I could ask for," she told him sincerely.

"Wh- Uh…. thanks, Bells," he mumbled uncomfortably, clearing his throat and looking at the floor. Bella turned to Jasper.

"You've been a great friend and teacher, Jasper," she told him. He shook his head and looked away, embarrassed by his choices. She wouldn't have any of that. "I mean it," she said. He looked her in the eye, thanking her. "I wouldn't know half the stuff I know now if it weren't for you. And things could have been a whole lot worse for me in the office without you there." She turned to Rosalie next.

"Rose, we haven't been close for very long but I feel like you're a sister to me. You've taken care of me in ways that no one else would ever understand. The smallest things have always meant the most to me. And I see the way you are with Emmett – I hope you have kids one day because you'd make a fantastic mother." Rosalie choked up and nodded her thanks. Bella didn't know, but Rosalie probably wasn't able to have any kids because of an illness that she'd caught when she was a kid. I didn't know all the details, but Emmett was there when she found out and it completely devastated her – she wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world. "Alice. The best sister in the world," Bella grinned. She didn't get a chance to say anything more because Alice blubbered like a baby and pulled her into a hug, sobbing into her hair. When the estrogen-fest was over Bella walked over to Emmett and took his hands.

"Emmett Cullen. My big brother. One of my best friends. My Korben," she grinned. He grinned back. "I have one thing to say to you," she took a deep breath. "My name is Leeloo Minai Lekarariba-Laminai-Tchai Ekbat De Sebat." Emmett burst into laughter and hugged her.

"Good. That... that whole thing's your name, huh? Do you have, uh... a shorter name?" he asked, going along with her little game.

"Leeloo," she answered, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Do one more," he demanded, looking a little misty.

"Um… okay," Bella agreed, trying to think of another quote from The Fifth Element. "Everything you create, you use to destroy."

"Yeah," Emmett smiled, wiping fiercely at his face. "We call it human nature."

***

Bella saved Jake for last, and took him outside to talk. I let them have their moment, helping Charlie and Renee with the bags instead. I thought back to the time when I thought Jacob would be a threat to me, and it occurred to be in that moment how ridiculous I had been about it. From the very beginning, it had been obvious that she was mine. My Bella. She didn't want to be with anyone else. She had always preferred me over everyone she met, and without any known reason. I would have to ask her one day, when she was more likely to understand her reasoning.

They came back looking puffy-eyed and linking arms. She hugged him warmly and he clutched the back of her shirt, begging her to come back soon. As if it weren't final. Of course we were going to be back soon.

"Love you, Jake," she sighed, kissing his cheek.

"Yeah, I love you too," he sighed back, pulling her into one of those hugs she hated – the one where he buried her head in his arms. Instead of fighting him off, she simply giggled and tried to tickle him but he wasn't ticklish. "Say it," he smirked, one arm holding her in a headlock while the other tortured her side with flutters that sent her into hysterical giggles. Playing one last game of Uncle.

"I'll pounce you!" she warned, gasping between laughs.

"You're not allowed to pounce," he reminded her.

"I'll break one last rule for you, stink-ass!"

"Stink-ass?" he echoed incredulously, tickling harder. She was giggle-putty in his arms. I leaned against the doorframe, smiling at the sight.

"You stink like a dog!"

"Say uncle!"

"I'm gonna pounce you so hard!"

"Say it!"

"No!"

"Say it!"

"You say it, stink-ass!"

"Say uncle or I won't stop!"

"FINE! Uncle!" she gave in, pulling away and clutching her sides while she caught her breath. Jacob was too busy laughing at her to notice her move into her crouch. She pounced him lethally, Jacob falling straight back onto the floor. I heard the wind being knocked out of him right before Bella erupted into evil little cackles. "Suck it!" she teased, wiggling her butt at him. He slapped it, causing her to squeak and run over to me. "He slapped me!" she complained, pointing at Jacob and pouting.

"You deserved it," I chuckled, bopping her nose gently with my finger.

"I kinda did," she admitted, grinning impishly.

"Ready to go?" Renee asked. I heard Bella gasp slightly. The time was here. She was leaving home.

We did the rounds, hugging and kissing everyone before making our way outside.

There was no way I expected to see Carlisle standing in our driveway. We froze in between the door and the car. Renee and Charlie, Bella and myself all in before Carlisle, a united front. He looked mad. Not angry – insane.

"You can't take her," he rasped. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. He was still in his work clothes even though we knew he hadn't been to work in days. I looked over my shoulder to find Esme and the others gathered just outside the door. It was us versus him. he had no chance if he tried to start anything.

"You have no right to be here," I told him. His eyes, which had been fixed on Bella, darted over to me.

"Edward," he begged. "Son, don't take her over there."

"Why should I trust you?" I challenged. He was obviously trying to make us believe he'd seen his wrongdoings and was trying to make up for it. Well, I wasn't going to fall for any of his shit. I saw Jacob move forward slightly and I went to tell him to stay where he was but Bella beat me to the punch.

"Jacob, its fine," she assured him.

"Bella," Carlisle began. I felt her tense and take a step closer to me. "You cannot trust James and Victoria. They want you to be a soldier. They know what you did to that girl. They think you're too dangerous to be a normal girl."

"Edward…" she breathed, worried by his words.

"It's alright, Bella," I whispered, rubbing her hand softly with my thumb. "It's fine. I've got you."

"Carlisle, thank you for your warning but we're fully equipped to deal with Cystemaco and their potentially ill intentions," Renee said politely. She continued her walk to the car then, taking Bella in tow.

"Dr Cullen, I suggest you leave now," Charlie warned when he didn't move.

"You can't take her," he rasped again, looking more manic by the second. It scared me.

"Get in the car, Bella," I muttered, pushing her further towards the car. Charlie took her from me as I went to usher Renee to the passenger seat. Bella noticed the panic in my voice, looking worriedly up at me.

"You get in, too," she demanded. I didn't get a chance to answer because a gunshot rang out. I flinched and looked around to find Carlisle pointing a gun. Charlie was on the ground.

Everything turned into chaos. I shoved Bella into the car and slammed the door shut as screams erupted from all angles. I ordered her to get down but her head whirled, eyes flying in every direction, scared for her friends. She begged me to get in the car, too. There was another gunshot and Carlisle staggered back. I ripped the gun from Renee's shaking hands as I shoved her into the car, too. I didn't even question where she pulled her own gun from – I didn't want to know. It wasn't even important. The family began running towards us. Bella needed to get out of this right now.

"Go!" I ordered.

Another shot.

Pain.

Burning, hot, searing pain. I fell to my knees.

Everything was going blurry. I could hear Bella's voice as everything else turned into a dull hum. She screamed my name as the car started. She screamed my name as the tyres spun. I could hear her screaming as the car tore away from me and everything faded to back.

**Okay so like I said… there is another chapter already in the works! It's coming very soon! I won't leave it like this, I promise! **


	21. Seasons

**Here it is! Your second chapter for the week, as promised!**

**Thanks so much for your reviews and responses - they really make me smile :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except Natalie, Chrissy and Jason. They are MINE LOL  
**

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My name is Bella Swan. Today is my 21st birthday. During the lead up to my birthday Renee – my adoptive mother – has been acting all weird. We both knew that this day would come so I couldn't understand for the life of me why she was choosing to be strange in the last few weeks of her custody. I mean, I wasn't planning to run off or anything. I had a decent life here.

Renee and I had lived in Phoenix for as long as could remember. We had a small house with a gorgeous garden and our living room had scattered pictures of us taken in our most recent years together. There were pictures of Renee's husband Charlie as well. I never knew him. He was a cop that was killed in action just after they adopted me, Renee said. That's why I couldn't remember anything. I was with him when he was attacked and we had a car crash. I had a few scars that I guess came from the crash. I didn't really remember anything before moving into this house with Renee – a side-effect of the crash.

The phone rang.

"Bella!" Renee called from the kitchen. I swept my hair up into a messy bun and slid down the banister, smiling because I knew I'd get into trouble for it. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"At least once more," I answered, taking the phone off her and pressing it to my ear while picking up a piece of toast. I glanced quickly at the caller ID. "Bumhead!" I squealed into the phone. It was my best friend, Natalie.

"Happy Birthday, Bum Bum!" she squealed back. I could hear her boyfriend, Jason in the background. "Happy Birthday, Bells!" he called.

"Thanks guys!" I smiled.

"What you doing?"

"Nothing, just eating breakfast."

"Well!"

"Indeed!"

Renee rolled her eyes at our nonsensical conversation and made a call on her cell. She was probably calling James and Victoria, the people who ran the adoption agency. The papers that gave her legal guardianship expired today. I was officially my own person. Not that I had ever felt anything but like my own person. Renee always encouraged me to be myself and do whatever felt natural to me, no matter how weird it seemed to me or anyone else.

"I have something for you," Natalie informed me.

"Don't tell her!"

"I'm not telling her anything!"

There was a scuffle on the other end of the phone as Jason attempted to wrestle it from Natalie's unrelenting hands.

Natalie was the best friend anyone could ask for. Bubbly and sweet, she had a face that matched her adorable personality. She was fiercely loyal to her loved ones and even though she was stubborn at times it was just not possible to think ill of such a well-meaning person.

"Anyway!" Nat continued, obviously having won the phone back. I smiled into my glass as I drained it of iced tea. Renee peeked in on me while speaking in hushed tones in the other room. "We have to be quick today I'm so sorry bumhead," she apologised. I frowned. They were going to miss my birthday? "Jason has to get to this place so he can finally get those shots for his film," she explained. Jason was making a short film for a competition that would hopefully fund an engagement ring for Natalie. Hopefully. Otherwise she'd have to keep living vicariously through her clients – she was a wedding planner.

"Oh, right. Of course," I said, trying to sound to cheery even though I was majorly disappointed.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "But we're coming over right now! We've just gotta pick Chrissy up and we'll be right there!" she assured me quickly. I felt a little better knowing I'd have almost the entire day with them – and especially that Chrissy was going to be around, too. She was a newer addition to our circle of friends but she was just as precious to me as everyone else. She was this hilarious, sex-crazed bubble of fun with the most gorgeous smile. My friends were the loves of my life.

"Alright I'll see you soon!" I chirped, wiping crumbs off my shirt and pondering what to wear.

"See you soon! Love you bum bum!"

"Bye bumhead!"

***

**EPOV**

"Are you freaking' kidding me?"

Kristen's voice rose an octave but it didn't affect me. I just stared and waited for her to just… get it… or get over it or whatever it was she needed to do to leave me the fuck alone.

"After everything? You're just… kicking me out?" she asked incredulously.

"That's what I said," I told her, the boredom I felt coming out in my voice. Normally I wasn't such an ass – well, that is to say that there used to be a time when I wasn't a complete ass – but the thing is… she wasn't even upset. She was _angry_ not upset. She was pissed that she'd have to find a new place to live and a new guy to fuck.

Don't get me wrong, she was great at what she did but the simple truth was that neither of us felt a goddamn thing for each other and it was about time we stopped pretending that we did. Moving in together was a bad idea from the beginning. I knew that. She knew that. We both knew one of us would be moving out sooner or later and, well, I guess I just beat her to the punch when it came to the whole dumping thing.

"Even after everything?" she asked again. I rolled my eyes.

"What everything? _I've_ been through stuff, Kristen. Not you," I reminded her, a little more harshly then I'd intended. It was _me_ who'd had to deal with my father's suicide. Not her. It'd been _me_ who'd had to eventually give up searching for…

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Look, take your time packing your stuff. I'm not saying you've gotta be gone today or tomorrow or even this week. But you _do_ have to go, alright?" I explained, absently tracing the scar that had shaped my life for the past four years. The tattoo above it was a representation of what I'd lost that day. A butterfly with drops of water on its wings surrounded by bubbles, it was the perfect tribute to her. And today, on her birthday, it meant more to me than ever.

"It's because of her, isn't it?" Kristen asked quietly, shaking her head as she began taking clothes out of the dresser and putting them in a suitcase.

"What?" I asked, unaware that I'd ever told her anything about Bella. Kristen snorted, quickly tying her hair back as she worked and blowing a stray strand out of her eyes.

"The girl in your tattoo," she clarified, jerking her head in the direction of my ribcage. My hand flew there once more and I frowned down at it.

"There is no girl in my tattoo," I pointed out, tracing the outline of the butterfly that looked like it was fluttering towards my heart. Kristen scoffed.

"How did you get that bullet scar?" she queried, nodding slowly when I glared at her in response. I never spoke about it. That was my rule. Don't fucking touch it, and don't fucking ask about it. "What was her name?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Was she the red one or the yellow one?" she asked in her acid tone, referring to my other tattoo – the one on the inside of my arm. The one of a red and yellow gummi bear facing each other and touching noses. I glared up at her – hating myself for letting her get close enough to notice the things I never talked about.

"Get out," I spat, jumping up to empty her dresser onto the floor.

"Hit a sore spot, Edward?"

"Just get the hell out. Today. Right now. Get out."

"What was her name?"

"I swear to god, Kristen…"

"What was her _name_?" she pressed, standing with her hands on her hips. I stood toe to toe with her, towering over her small frame and scowling at her with all the fury and grief washing through me.

"Bella. Her name is Bella. And she means more to me than you ever have and ever will. So get the fuck out," I growled before turning on my heel and marching out of the room. "If you're here when I get back, I'll call the cops," I called over my shoulder, grabbing my jacket and keys and slamming the door behind me.

***

**BPOV**

"Happy Birthday!" my friends chorused. Chrissy barrelled at me and lifted me into a tight hug. "May you be pinched on the ass by many hot men."

"Yeah because the selection of men in Phoenix is just amazing," I laughed, rolling my eyes.

"I would know," she winked.

"About that," Jason started, doing his trademark sleazy finger-point at me. I mimicked the gesture, giggling. "But seriously, about that."

"About what?"

"Bum bum we have a proposition for you," Natalie grinned.

"No! No more setups!" I cried, trying to hide behind the front door. Chrissy barged her way in, waving hello to Renee, who was back on the phone.

"Relax, Mother Mary it's not a setup. Christ, you'd think she didn't _want_ to get laid…" she muttered, nudging Nat. Nat grinned at Chrissy's antics and continued.

"How would you like to come on this trip with us?" she asked. I was intrigued. I'd never left Phoenix before.

"With you and Jace?" I queried. As much as I wanted an adventure, I didn't want to be a third-wheel.

"And Chrissy."

"Really?"

"Really.

"Where are you guys going again?"

"Washington."

"Huh. I've always wanted to go there," I replied, frowning. Had I always wanted to go there? It felt like I'd always wanted to go there, I just didn't know why.

"You? Miss Sunshine?" Chrissy asked. "It's hardly ever sunny where we're going. That's why Jason wants to go there. Horror movies are much scarier in the rain," she winked.

"I disagree. Horror movies are scarier in happy places. But I really wanna go. I just have to ask-"

"No you don't," Chrissy interrupted. I frowned. Had they already asked her on my behalf? "You're 21, you only need to _tell her_."

"I don't think-"

"Do it."

"But-"

"Do it!"

"Alright!" I sighed, pouting at Chrissy before heading into the kitchen. I could hear my friends chattering away, Jason's laughter rising above all others' as always. He was such a crack-up. "Hey, Renee?" She looked up from the phone. "I need to tell you something kinda important."

"Oh? Hang on," she mumbled, turning her attention back to the phone. "I'll call you back," she said quickly, hanging up and turning back to me. "What is it?"

"For my birthday, the gang is taking me on a trip to Washington."

"Washington?" she echoed, looking alarmed.

"Yeah, why?"

"You're not going to Washington. No way."

"Why not?" I asked, prickling up with self-righteousness. My friends were silent, listening.

"Because I said so."

"Well you're not my mom, so-"

"You're not going, Isabella."

"Don't call me that!" I growled. I _hated_ when she called me Isabella. It sounded all wrong! "It's _Bella_!"

"Well _Miss Bella_ that doesn't change anything."

"You're right. I'm still 21 so you can't tell me what to do anymore and if I want to go to…" I trailed off, not knowing exactly where I was going. I turned to Nat.

"Forks," she said delicately. Something about it rang a bell – my heart fluttered.

"If I want to go to _Forks_ then I'll go."

"It's not safe for you in Forks. You're not going."

"I'm going!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Natalie said quickly, breezing in and standing with me. "What's not safe? Is there something wrong with Forks?"

"No… yes," Renee sighed. "Bella… please don't go to Forks."

"I'll consider it if you tell me why."

"I'm not telling you. Just trust me," she pleaded. I almost gave in, but Chrissy's strong presence in the room fuelled my more rebellious side.

"Then I'm not listening. _You_ trust _me_ for once."

***

**EPOV**

She was gone when I got back. Thank fuck. The only trace of her was the pile of broken CDs on the floor. Spiteful bitch. At least now I could be alone for a while.

I threw my jacket without caring where it landed and flopped onto the couch, ignoring the CDs for the time being. I picked up my guitar and starting plucking at a few random notes, but they started to sound too familiar so I tried again. Over and over, the notes became her song. Our song, I guess. With a sigh, I placed my guitar to the side and went to my bedroom – to the closet that held my most precious commodities. They were pictures that were meant to be burned so that we held no trace of her in case anything went wrong. But I couldn't part with them. Her face smiled up at me and I trailed my fingers down the photograph, smiling back despite the tears welling up in my eyes. I missed her more and more every day, but I had no way of finding her. She'd just vanished. I hoped every minute that she would find me.

"Happy Birthday, Bella," I whispered.

"Edward?" Jacob's familiar husky tone drifted into my room. I hastily hid the box again, clearing my throat and wiping my face before heading out.

"Hey," I greeted. He pulled me into a man-hug. "What's up?"

"Kicked Kristen out, huh?" he asked, noticing the lack of her stuff around the place. And probably the musical carnage.

"Yep."

"'Bout time," he grinned. "I was thinking you weren't going to follow your pattern after all," he joked, but I had no idea what he was talking about.

"What?"

"Oh come on," he laughed. "You _always_ dump your girlfriends at this time of year."

"Summer?" I asked, playing dumb. I knew what he was getting at but this was my polite way of telling him to drop it.

"Yeah. You need to be free because of _Summer_," he nodded, going along with it. "You know it isn't healthy," he added in his serious tone.

"Yeah, but do I look like I care?"

"No, you don't. As long as you know, though," he grinned. "Come to my place," he suggested. "We can get wasted in celebration of _Summer_. It's a special _Summer_ this year, isn't it?"

"Yeah she's 21 today, officially," I mumbled, dropping the act. Jacob sighed.

"Come get wasted, Edward," he tried, nudging me. I shook my head.

"I have to work in the bar tonight. School's out and the high-school grads are going nuts before college," I explained.

"I still reckon that law change was a bad idea," Jacob muttered.

"Well it proved to be convenient to us when we wanted to open a bar at 18," I pointed out. "And I _do_ agree that if you're old enough to serve your country in war you should be old enough to have a drink before you die."

"Except now college students are flunking out because they're too busy partying."

"They were doing that already," I grinned. Jacob grinned back and he dropped to the lounge, eyeing the CDs.

"She took it a little hard, I'm guessing."

"I was kind of a prick. But she kept pressing me about my fucking tattoo."

"Well if you didn't want people to be curious about it you shouldn't have got one," Jacob shrugged. He wasn't as sensitive to the Bella issue as I was – she wasn't the love of his life.

"How's Leah?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Stressed out and bitchy," he laughed. I laughed along, knowing that they would be fine despite his less than affectionate description of her. They could withstand anything, including her brief affair with his friend, Sam. I wouldn't have forgiven her that but Jacob and Leah…. it was like they had some weird bond. I suppose if Bella had ever…

I shook my head of that thought and set about cleaning the place. Jacob helped, and we were soon in front of The Fifth Element, laughing to ourselves and just enjoying each other's company. A couple of times I saw him glance at the space between us with a forlorn look. _Yeah, I wish she was here, too…_

***

**BPOV**

"NO MORE PINK!" Jason cried as the next song started. Nat and I had been playing Pink songs in the car since Port Angeles.

"Seriously, guys, enough with the Pink already," Chrissy agreed, though she couldn't keep the smile off her face. "I sing it better than you guys any day," she teased.

"Well Pink is my wife!" Natalie argued, as if that ended things.

"Chrissy, sing for us!" I demanded. Chrissy made her living by going around to all the local bars and clubs singing in a band. It was completely awesome because we got free entry to all of and sometimes even free drinks. She was amazing to watch on stage – her charisma was electrifying.

"I don't sing for less than twenty-five bucks," she joked.

"You cheap whore!" Jason exclaimed, sending us all into hysterics.

"Oh here it is!" Nat squealed excitedly. It had been a long day of travelling, but we finally reached the sign that welcomed us to Forks after two plane rides and this car trip. "Forks, whoo!"

"FORKS, WHOO!" the rest of us echoed. I wound down my window as far as it would go and stuck my head out, letting the cool air hit my face. It felt great – it felt like freedom and happiness. "Where are we staying again?" Chrissy asked for the millionth time.

"The Butterfly Inn," Nat answered patiently. Chrissy frowned at her phone, obviously having looked it up.

"There's nothing here that mentions a Butterfly Inn."

"It's really new. Only a couple of years old as an inn. It's an estate – a house. People used to live there. I think the owner still does," Jason said. "What was her name again?"

"Umm… Esme," Nat answered with a nod.

"That's right Esme Cullen. Her husband owned the place but she kicked him about five years ago. Then she lived there with her kids but they all moved out. Then her husband killed himself during the divorce proceedings so she just got everything and didn't know what to do with such a huge house."

"Why didn't she just move away?" I asked, disturbed by the story. It was so sad, and it was weighing down on my heart.

"Rumour has it that the Cullen family adopted one more kid before the dad got kicked out. But no one's ever seen the kid," Nat answered. Jason always did such thorough research about his locations. I shuddered – the whole story creeped me out.

"So she stayed in Forks because of ghost baby. Interesting," Chrissy pondered. "Anyway we've had our serious moment – where are the hotspots in Forks, Jace? I need to know where we're partying tonight!"

"Uh… there's really only one place," Jason answered, glancing apologetically at Chrissy.

"Small town. One bar," Natalie giggled.

"Oh, there it is!" Chrissy laughed, pointing out the window. Just in time, we were passing the lone bar in Forks. "The Grizzly."

* * *

**Dun dun DUUUUUUNNNNN! Will Bella be reunited with her former family? Will she remember them? Will they remember her? Will I ever stop asking these questions?? FIND OUT IN OUR NEXT CHAPTER!!!**


	22. Hey Jealousy

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! Except Chrissy, Nat and Jace ;)**

**I just can't stop writing! I'm so excited about this fic and the fantastic reception I get from you guys! I know this fic has taken a huge turn – there is still so much to be answered and I swear I won't leave you guy without the answers. **

**A couple of people were wondering how long it's been since the incident with the guns… it's been about 4 years. Bella was "17" when it all happened and now she's "21". Edward, Jacob, Rosalie etc are all 22 now, as they were 18 when it started. **

**Once again, please check out Stripped by punkfarie! It's not complete with Epilogue and it is just FANTASTIC!**

**Let me know what you think ;)**

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"It's _gorgeous_," I breathed as we pulled up to the inn. The front walls were made almost entirely of glass – you could see inside to the living, lounge and dining rooms. There was a grand staircase leading to what I guessed were the rooms and bathrooms. You could see the archway into the kitchen just past the dining room. It was open and light and warm. It felt so familiar – like home.

"What an amazing place," Chrissy sighed, detaching her seatbelt.

"Pity you can't walk around naked," Jason joked.

"It is definitely my friend," Natalie grinned.

"It's my friend more," I insisted, stepping out onto the gravel and gazing up at the building. Inside, I saw a woman coming to the door to greet us. She was talking over her shoulder to someone as she opened the door. I moved around to help Jason with the bags – I was stronger than him, anyway. "Thanks for bringing me," I said, bumping his hip with mine and pulling out our suitcases.

"Oh you can thank me later," he winked, doing the sleazy finger point again. It was our thing. We pretended to be desperately attracted to each other and joked about sex a lot but the truth was that I'd never ever looked at him in that way. He was one of my best friends and as long as I'd known him, he and Nat had been so happy together that I couldn't imagine them with anyone else but each other. Least of all with me.

"You bet I will, lover," I crooned, trying to be sultry.

"You will what?" Nat asked, grabbing the last bag out.

"Satisfy your man in a way that only I can," I told her matter-of-factly.

"Oh thank fuck. She's finally going to get laid," Chrissy laughed. She always liked to make fun of my 'virginal' lifestyle. I didn't actually know if I was a virgin or not, but we pretended that I was because I couldn't remember ever having sex and as long as I _could_ remember, I didn't simply because I hadn't been attracted enough to anyone to even consider it.

"Yeah, laugh it up. Bella's a virgin," I grumbled, rolling my eyes. "For all we know I could've been the biggest whore in town before I came to Phoenix."

"I'd like to see you workin' the streets," Chrissy giggled as we headed up to the front porch.

"Hey baby, lookin' for a date?"

Chrissy and I giggled the rest of the way up and almost ran right into Jason and Natalie, who had abruptly stopped in front of us. I peered around their shoulders to see what the hold up was. The lady from inside was staring at me. She had caramel hair just past her shoulders and rosy cheeks. She looked like a perfect mother from a fairytale, and from what I'd heard she must've been exactly that.

"Hello!" Natalie greeted, a little too loudly. The lady gave a start and focussed on her, looking apologetic.

"Hello! Welcome," she smiled warmly, gesturing inside. "Please come in. I take it you are Natalie and Jason."

"Yes, we are. And this is Chrissy, and Bella," Natalie replied with an easy smile. The lady looked me over again, as if waiting for something.

"Chrissy and of course, Bella. My name is Esme Cullen. Myself and some of my family will be looking after you. If you have any queries or requests please don't hesitate to ask any one of us for help. I'll introduce you," she started, ushering us inside. She called out to the others, though I didn't catch their names because I was looking around. From all around the place, people came in. "This is Jasper and Rosalie Hale," Esme said, gesturing to two stunning blondes – they looked like twins, and had that same homely, familiar-looking face as Esme even though they didn't look anything like her at all. The girl, Rosalie was looking us all over critically – actually, more at my friends than at me. She seemed to be avoiding looking at me, to be honest. Jasper kept his eyes on the floor, but he looked spooked out. Chrissy and I exchanged a quick glance, and I wondered if she felt like this was as creepy as I did.

"Dibs," she whispered. She clearly didn't feel creeped out by the blondes.

"Jasper will take your bags up to your rooms, and Rosalie would be more than happy to describe what our small town has to offer for travellers such as yourselves. Have you come far?"

"From Phoenix," Jason answered. "The forestry outside looks amazing. Are there any clearings or anything that I could set up my film equipment?" he asked Rosalie. She looked lost for a second, but another voice chimed from behind us.

"I'll be happy to show you," said a small girl with dark brown hair. She had a face like a pixie. Something was definitely in the water – everyone was so _beautiful_. "I know my way around the landscape b-" she stopped mid-sentence, having caught sight of me. I looked myself over quickly, wondering why they all reacted to me in strange ways but found nothing out of the ordinary. Even my friends thought it was weird, I could tell. "Uh, so yeah I can show you," she finished, taking Jasper's hand. I heard Chrissy sigh beside me. "I'm Alice, by the way."

"Thanks, Alice," Natalie grinned.

"You're welcome. Natalie, was it?"

"Yeah."

"And Jason, and Chrissy."

"Yep."

"That's me."

"And Bella?"

"Yes," I answered, feeling like I wanted to hide.

"Esme! I need to grab that strobe from the shed!" another voice sounded. I felt a warm breeze as a tall, buff guy brushed past me, clearly in a rush.

"Aren't you gonna call dibs?" I joked in a whisper to Chrissy. She clicked her tongue and leaned closer to answer me quietly.

"His face doesn't suit his body. He looks like a kid."

"You say _I'm_ picky. I think he's a pretty good catch."

"Then _you_ call dibs. A nice, buff guy would do you good." I giggled loudly, unable to hold it in. The guy stopped and whirled around, looking right at me. He frowned, unsure of himself, but came closer. My breath hitched – had he heard our joke?

"What's your name?" he asked me, looking a little emotional about the entire situation and standing so close that I thought for a second he was going to yell at me… I was deeply embarrassed that these people were being like this – maybe Renee had been right all along.

"B-Bella," I stuttered. "Bella Swan." The guy looked as if his heart was breaking. Maybe he thought I was someone else. "What's yours?" I asked, trying to deflect and make him feel better.

"I'm Jacob Black," he replied. I nodded. It sounded so right and natural. Jacob Black.

"You look like a Jacob,' I smiled, exuding friendly but not flirty. The poor guy looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

"Jacob, the key for the shed is in its usual place. You'd better hurry," Esme said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. She seemed to understand his feelings so I guessed this was something he did kind of often – maybe he was 'special'.

"Right. The strobe. Right," he muttered, turning away and quickly marching off. I watched him as he whipped his phone out of his pocket and began frantically dialling. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme rush over and snatch the phone from him chastising him in a harsh whisper that I couldn't make out.

***

"I don't really like clubs," Jason complained, earning him glares from all three of us girls. He would be fine for just one night – the rest of his crew were arriving tomorrow and he wouldn't have to put up with our girl-stuff anymore. Just one night of fun for my birthday is all I was asking. I reminded him of that and he quickly acquiesced because Jason and I were buddies – we would do almost anything for each other. "I'm not driving," he announced. I was the only other one who knew how to drive a stick so I glared at him with full force glariness. "What?" he asked, oblivious to the fact that his not driving meant me having to be designated driver on my own birthday.

"Jason she's not driving on her birthday!" Natalie squeaked, slapping him with the tie she'd just been about to put on him – when Jason went out, he liked to look suave. It suited him. Chrissy rolled her eyes as they argued and we backed out to finish getting ourselves ready.

"Hey," Chrissy called before I could go into my room. I turned to face her. "Come get your birthday present," she grinned.

"I don't want girl sex for my birthday, Chrissy," I joked as Natalie joined us. Jason was bustling downstairs. Just in time, a few of his crew had arrived, thus getting him out of going to the bar under the pretence of work.

"You can help me ambush Bella," Chrissy stated, taking Natalie's hand and taking her into the room. I stayed put and waited until they emerged a few seconds later, each holding something behind their back. "Happy Birthday!"

They held out my gifts, a gorgeous but kind of scandalous black dress and a pair of glittery heels to go with them.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed, staring dumbfounded at them. They were just so beautiful, but there were two problems – one was that I could never wear that dress in public, and the other was that the shoes looked far too expensive for me to accept them as a gift. "Chrissy, I can't-"

"Yes you can!" she insisted. "21 is a milestone. You let Nat and Jace take you on a holiday, you can take a stinking outfit from me!"

"Bum bum if I could pull off a dress like that I'd wear it myself…" Nat said, addressing my remaining problem. Could I leave the house in that gorgeous, tiny, slinky thing? They both stood there nodding at my silent question, looking encouraging.

"That is _stunning_!" said the little pixie girl, Alice, who had come up behind us. "I hear you're off to The Grizzly," she smiled.

"Where else is there to go?" Chrissy asked, genuinely confused and wondering if Alice had any insider information about underground nightclubs.

"Nowhere," Alice tittered. We joined in, finding the idea of a one-bar town strange and fascinating at the same time. At least _I_ found Forks fascinating – I didn't really know about the others. They certainly agreed with me that the Cullens were acting very strange towards me. "Bella, you _have_ to let me do your makeup," she told me. Chrissy and Natalie glanced at each other as Alice stared pleadingly at me.

"Okay," I agreed before I knew what I was doing.

"Great!" she squealed. "Go put on your dress and meet me in the bathroom. I'm doing your hair, too!

"Okay," I agreed again, stunned by my willingness to oblige to this perfect stranger, who was happily skipping off to gather beauty products.

"She's friendly," Nat commented, looking a little wary.

"Go get your sexy LBD on," Chrissy chuckled, shoving me into my room, which I'd never actually been in until now.

Or had I?

For a moment all I could do was stare. Everything in the room was as if I'd picked it. From the covers on the bed to the colours on the walls, to the pretty little dresser next to the ensuite door – it was if I had personally chosen every little thing. I'd never been in a more perfectly decorated room. My own room back home wasn't even this perfect, because Renee had insisted on a number of things that I hadn't really liked all that much. They were nice, just not my pick. But here… this room… was _my room_.

"What are you staring at?" Nat asked with a small laugh. She found my awe amusing.

"This room is so totally my friend," I mumbled, looking around some more. No other room in the inn looked like this, either, so it wasn't as if their design style suited my own personal taste – it was like they'd made this room especially for me.

"It's better than my room. Mine looks like a guy's room."

"So does ours," Natalie laughed.

"Maybe you're their god," Chrissy joked in a whisper, looking around as though expecting one of them to pop up at any minute. Funnily enough, Alice popped up behind her, making her jump right out of her skin.

"You're not dressed yet!" she chided, putting her hands on her hips. "You guys are distracting her! Let the girl get into her birthday dress!"

At that, I raised my eyebrow.

"How did you know it's my birthday?"

"I heard the girls tell you Happy Birthday. And you're 21, right?"

"Yeah."

"Congrats! Now get dressed!" she commanded, shutting the door on me, leaving me with my perfect room and my little black dress.

***

**EPOV**

The perky skanks of Forks were grinding away to some Britney song about giving people more or… something. I fucking hated this shithouse music. Jacob had been avoiding me all night and as much as I didn't want to seem like a whiny girlfriend I wondered why he chose tonight of all nights to ignore me and I wanted to confront him about it before the turn in shifts. The bar was hopping tonight, though, and it didn't look like I was going to be able to get away at any point because the new guy was fucking up left, right and centre and I was having to go around cleaning up after him constantly. Idiot.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I asked, snatching a bottle of Midori from him. "She said _Malibu_!"

"I got mixed up!"

"Midori is fucking _green_!"

"I know!"

"The Malibu bottle is _white_!"

"I know!"

I shook my head and thrust the right bottle in his hand, moving to the next customer while sliding a glass over to Kate. Her tip jar was already overflowing. I grinned at her as she winked at the young guy she was serving. He tipped her five bucks.

"… and a vodka, lemon, lime and bitters," the next customer yelled at her over the music. "I think! Wait! Bella! The usual?! Yeah, the vodka, lemon, lime and bitters as well thanks!"

At the sound of the name, I instinctively looked up. I always looked around when I heard that name, just in case.

I never _ever_ expected to see her sitting at the opposite end of my bar, just absently bopping to the shit music and gazing around curiously. I dropped the bottle of gin I was holding. Emmett looked up at the noise and then over at Bella. I started towards her at the same time as him, unable to stop myself. Her hold on me was stronger than ever with her presence in the very same room as me for the first time in four years. Suddenly Emmett lunged at me, throwing me inside his office and locking the door behind him, an evil chuckle sounding from his stomach. I could hear him telling Kate to hold the bar down for a minute as I yelled for him to let me out. I needed to hold her, just for a second. I wouldn't even kiss her. I just needed to touch her, just once. I needed to know she was real – that she was really here. This wasn't the time for his racing games.

With a sudden stroke of inspiration I started for the window, but as soon as I was there, so was Emmett. Locking it. Locking me in. Keeping me away from my Bella. "EMMETT!" I cried. He dangled the keys at me with a grin and strode away. The asshole was going to get to her before I could. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!" I roared, kicking the desk and very nearly pulling my hair out. I paced for a good few minutes, seething and waiting but it soon became obvious that I was not prepared to wait as long as he wanted me to.

So I threw his paper weight at the window and climbed out.

***

**BPOV**

"Did you see that guy?" Chrissy asked in my ear, nodding towards the bar. Not guy caught my attention aside from the big brawny one rushing out the front door. "I'm calling a big fat DIBS on him."

"That guy?" I asked when he walked back in. She could have him. I wasn't attracted to him at all, even though I could totally understand why she would be. He was good-looking, definitely – with his blue eyes and curly brown hair and impish smile teamed with what looked like would be a great body, he certainly caught the eye of most of the women the bar… He just reminded me more of a bigger brother than anything else. He looked like someone who could be my brother and protect me and teach me all sorts of inappropriate stuff like dirty jokes and how to make realistic fart noises.

"No, the other one. DIBS!" she repeated, grinning ear to ear.

"He must've been something really special," I said, impressed.

"Why?"

"You're breaking dibs rules for him," Natalie pointed out, draining her drink.

"I am not!"

"You can't call dibs unless we've all seen him."

"Well you're taken and Bella _never_ calls dibs, so…" she trailed off with a shrug, obviously feeling like her rule-breaking was well justified.

"What if I feel like calling dibs on my birthday?" I challenged.

"Did you just play the birthday card?"

"I think you know I did," I replied with a smirk, pushing my nose in the air.

"Fine if you want to call dibs on him, I'll let you have him okay?"

"That's all I ask on my birthday."

Chrissy scowled playfully just as Nat began screeching into her phone.

"Jason if I get back home and you-" She stopped to gasp theatrically into the phone. "Oh I'm never doing you again! Well I'll just do myself! No, no, you are jacking off forever! THAT IS NOT MY FRIEND AND YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND JAY-SON!"

"You've made her really mad now!" Chrissy called into the phone before joining in the play fight with Jason, not even knowing what he was saying on the other end – just helping Nat yell. I leaned over and added in my bit.

"I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND RIGHT NOW!" I yelled into the phone.

"YEAH, NO ICE-CREAM FOR ANYONE!" Chrissy added with a wink. "Oh _he_ is my friend," she marvelled, nodding in the direction of the brawny bartender, who had just slid back in behind the bar. "Something very sexy is in the water here."

"DOUCHE!" Was Nat's very last hurled insult at Jason before she slipped her phone back in her pocket and turned her attention to us with a grin. We all burst into hysterical laughter.

"Can I get you anything, ladies?" the bartender asked. For some reason, Chrissy couldn't answer and Nat was texting a love message to Jason so I spoke for us all.

"Yes, we'd like a Malibu and coke, a screwdriver and a vodka, lemon, lime and bitters," I ordered. The bartender grinned mischievously, as though he was about to do something very wrong.

"You're the bitters, right?" he clarified. I frowned, nodding. How did he know? "You look like the bitters type," he smirked, starting our drinks.

"What about the other girls then? Which one is having the Malibu?"

"Oh you wanna play a game, huh?" he laughed. "Alright, little girl, we'll play a game. How about this – if I guess your name, you pay double for these drinks," he proposed, presenting our cocktails. Nat and Chrissy eyed me, wondering both what I would do and whether or not I was flirting. The truth was that I felt comfortable with the bear-like man before us. Almost like I already knew him.

"You're on!" I grinned. "But lets make it more interesting."

"How?"

"If I guess _your_ name, I get them for free," I suggested. Natalie squeaked incredulously next to me and I saw Chrissy hit her lightly out of the corner of my eye.

"No deal. You could've asked anyone in this bar what my name is. But _you've_ never been here before."

"Name and…" I trailed off, trying to think of something else that would be easy enough to guess about this guy. I already had a fair idea about his name – it was a long shot but I was confident that I'd heard it before. Somewhere. Out of nowhere, I saw him on the lounge at the inn with me. We curled up together, but it wasn't romantic or anything – we were just comfortable with each other. I felt safe. He laughed at the screen and I turned to see a very familiar scene. "Favourite movie," I amended, taking my weird vision as a sign.

"What?" Natalie snorted. "No way!"

"No, no… you're so on," the bartender laughed. "Bella," he grinned. All our mouths dropped open in shock.

"You're gonna cost us a fortune, bumhead! No more deals!"

"I haven't had my turn yet!" I reminded her. She opened her mouth to say something, but decided not to at Chrissy's harsh look. The freaky bartender raised an eyebrow, daring me to make my guess. He didn't believe I could do it.

"Your name I Emmett," I stated confidently. He frowned.

"Why would you guess a name like _that_?" he asked. I sighed – I had been _so sure_. "I mean, its so random and _old-fashioned_!"

"Just a feeling," I shrugged, reaching for my purse. He stopped me.

"Well, Bella. Nice to meet you. My name is Emmett," he grinned. The girls and I burst into surprised laughter and for a second I thought he was lying to let me win, but the new guy called his name to let him know he was going on a break, so I must've really been right. "But what's my favourite movie?"

I considered him for a moment, trying to suss him out. He definitely looked like the action-movie type, which explained why I kept thinking of Bruce Willis, but the one image I kept going back to was from my own favourite movie. He reminded me of the main character, Korben Dallas. I must've watched that movie a million times. But did _he_ love it as much as me? My instinct said yes, so naturally I went with it.

"I'm thinking action," I told him. He nodded. "And science fiction." Another nod.

"But I need a title for free drinks, Bells," he chuckled.

"How do you know her nickname?" Natalie asked, not concealing her suspicion at all. Come to think of it, he _was_ pretty creepy as well. Just not as much as that Jacob guy.

"I just made it up," he shrugged. He was lying, we could all tell, but I didn't care for more information at that point. I'd drained my rink and wanted to know if I'd have to pay double for it or not at all.

"The Fifth Element," I guessed. He frowned at me once more, looking contemplative.

"You're right," he smiled, wiping the bar absently with his cloth. He actually looked a little sad. Maybe I would pay for them anyway, if the money meant that much to him. "That is my all-time favourite movie. I knew a girl once who reminded me of Leeloo."

"You remind me of Korben," I confessed. "That's why I guessed it," I added, hoping to make him feel a little better. "Here, I'll pay for-"

"Hey," he interrupted, pushing my closed hand back towards me. "A deal's a deal," he winked.

***

**EPOV**

Frantic, I forced my way back inside. Jacob tried to stop me at the door but I pushed past him, cursing at him under my breath. I couldn't believe Emmett had just raced me to her. I looked around, searching for her, but I couldn't see her anywhere. My heart sank down to my knees and I almost cried. But then I saw Emmett at the bar, grinning to himself as he kept pouring drinks like it was any other night. Like he hadn't just spoken to the love of my life – the only reason for my existence – a few short minutes ago. It made me blind with fury. All I wanted to do was rip his fucking head off for costing me what could have been my only chance to see her again, but at the same time I couldn't kill him because if I did I'd never be able to hear how she was.

Nonetheless, I charged over to him, wanting to at least rough him up a little. Behind me, I heard something drop but I was so mad I didn't even care to check what it was. It could have been my wallet, my keys, I didn't give a fuck. I just wanted to corner Emmett and kick his ass, then drag him into the office and interrogate him. When I reached him, I grabbed him by the arm.

"Where is she?" I growled through clenched teeth. He didn't have time to answer because I felt the softest little touch on my wrist.

"Excuse me?" said the sweetest voice that had ever graced my ears. I didn't even have to turn around to know it was her. "You dropped something."

My grip on Emmett loosened and my heart sped up. Emmett gave me an encouraging look, but I still didn't know what to expect. I had seen her just before, but only briefly. All I knew was that she had looked spectacularly beautiful.

"Thanks, Bella," Emmett smiled at her. "Edward, this is Bella. She's new to the bar tonight. Bella, this is my brother Edward."

"Edward?" she repeated and the sound of my name on her lips almost killed me. Her voice was the same but so different – more grown-up. "Nice to meet you." I _had_ to turn around now. I couldn't ever be rude to her.

***

**BPOV**

He was breathtaking.

He was amazing.

He was perfection.

Edward.

Just like Emmett, Jacob, Alice and all the others, he suited his name to the letter. If anyone had ever asked me to sketch the man of my dreams, I would have coloured his eyes that exact shade of green. I would have picked a pencil in that exact tone of bronze to stroke out the messy locks of his hair. I would have kept his skin alabaster pale, his lips that freshly-bitten pink all pulled up in that heartbreakingly charming yet innately devilish smile. I would have drawn _him_, and I would have called him Edward.

Silently, I thanked whoever was responsible for this meeting. If there was such a thing as love at first sight, this would have been it for me – just looking at him made my pulse race, and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of its chest. It would have been embarrassing to stand here staring at anyone else, but he was staring right back at me with an expression that I can only guess mirrored my own. From what I could see, he didn't know whether to kiss me or cry. I didn't know why, but I felt the same. On one hand, I wanted to yank him over and kiss him like a maniac. On the other, I wanted to fall into him and cry my eyes out. Either way, I wanted to be closer. I _needed_ to be closer.

We stepped towards each other at exactly the same time. My hands tightened around the packets in my hands, one held out to him and one tucked securely behind my back. The rustle of the plastic brought me back to reality.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," he greeted. His voice was warm and velvety. It sounded like home. Emmett spoke again and his jade eyes moved away. I didn't listen. I turned to Chrissy and mouthed my dibs on Edward. No fucking way anyone else was getting this guy. Even if he already had someone. He was _mine_. Chrissy's head fell to the bar in defeat – this had obviously been the guy she'd promised to concede to me if I wanted him. I laughed a little and turned back to Edward. He was smiling, having heard my laughter. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I lied, shrugging. "You gonna take your gummi bears back or shall I take them home? Yellow ones _are_ my second favourite, you know."

"Is that a fact?" he chuckled, taking the pack from me. He slipped them into his back pocket and frowned, patting a little. "Did you see another packet on the floor?" he asked. I prayed I wouldn't flush red as my fist clenched a little harder behind my back.

"No," I answered a little too quickly. He noticed and raised an eyebrow at me. "That was all I saw, honest," I said, smiling and trying to look as sweet and innocent as possible.

"That's a shame. I hate to sacrifice the red ones."

"You lost red ones?" I echoed, hoping I sounded appropriately horrified. "Those are my favourite ever."

"I would've shared them, but now I only have half of my gummi stash so…" Edward shook his head in mock sadness. I think we both knew I had them hiding behind my back, but for some reason he let it slide.

At that moment, the sound of glass smashing behind the bar caught our attention. I cursed the new guy who had managed to trip over just as he returned from break. Edward excused himself and rushed off. I went back to my friends and sat down. Natalie was the first to speak.

"Bumhead, you look like you've seen a ghost!"

"I just fell in love with a bartender from Forks," I droned, still in a daze.

"Bella, you just jizzed in your pants, didn't you?" Chrissy laughed, passing me yet another drink.

"Did you steal his gummi bears?" Natalie asked, holding them up in front of me looking stern and amused at the same time. I grinned and opened them, guzzling from my straw then popping a few into my mouth. Next to us, Chrissy gasped.

"What's that you're eating, Bella?" Edward smirked, leaning over the bar and plucking the offending pack of red gummi bears out of my hands. "Where on earth did you get _these_?"

"Oh didn't I tell you? I always carry red gummi bears with me," I smiled.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Seeing as you lost yours, I'll share _some_."

"Okay," he chuckled. "To be fair, I'll share some of mine too," he winked, putting his yellow packet on the bar. "It's about time for my break anyway."

"HI, I'M EMMA!" screamed a voice right in between mine and Natalie's faces. I watched Chrissy's hand fly up to her heart as she mouthed curse words at the hyperactive young woman. Her face remained close, toothy and bright and slightly crazed. Natalie jumped, looking stunned and quite frankly a little frightened. Edward was unphased, rolling his eyes as he mixed some more drinks for impatient patrons.

"Whoa, hi," I replied, sounding more confused than anything else.

And just as fast as she was there, she was gone.

"That was stranger than anything else we've seen since we got here," Nat commented, staring after the young lady. "She's really something… special."

"She has a tendency to do that," Edward smirked. Chrissy grabbed my leg under the bar. I'm pretty sure she'd jizzed in her pants.

"Oh," Natalie laughed, frowning and shaking her head, still stunned. I reached over and took a yellow gummi bear.

"Guys, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Nat and Chrissy."

"How do you know my last name?" he asked me, lifting our gummi bears momentarily to wipe the counter beneath them. As he worked, I noticed two inked gummi bears on his bare forearm.

"Do you have gummi bears tattooed on your arm?" I asked, tilting my head to get a better look. He twisted his arm to show me better, a small smile playing on his lips.

"That's dedication for you," Chrissy mused.

"Red and yellow just belong together," Edward shrugged.

"That's what Bella always says," Nat grinned, taking two gummi bears herself and munching on them. Edward mixed more drinks.

***

**EPOV**

"You on your break?" asked a husky voice. I nodded, grinning to myself as I dropped a red gummi bear into Bella's waiting palm before sliding her drink over. She took it gratefully as her friends excused themselves strategically to take on the dance floor. I liked them. They were fun and kooky, just like Bella.

I glanced up at Jacob, who was sliding into a seat next to my Bella and we gave each other a look. It was a look that clearly communicated our shared elation. Sure, she couldn't remember us, but she was here and there were little signs that she might one day completely return to us. Her continued love of gummi bears, for example.

"Hello Jacob Black," Bella said, nudging him gently. She had already met him. That explained why he had been avoiding me all night – he must have met her back home. Why hadn't anyone told me that she was here?

"Hello baby Bells," he replied, slipping into his nickname for her. She sifted through the red gummis, trying to pick a juicy one like she always used to. Out of nowhere, her nose crinkled in disgust. Then her face lit up like she had an idea. She looked just like the Bella I remembered. Except dead fucking sexy in that short black dress. Did she even know what she was doing to the poor saps in this bar? They were going to go home thinking about her while they got off in a cold shower. I didn't blame them.

"You want a gummi bear, Jake?" she asked, holding one out. To my awe and amusement, it was green.

"Green are my favourite," he chirped, taking it from her.

"You can have any I find, then. Edward _obviously_ sucks at sorting his gummi bears."

"I thought you said those were yours!" I gasped with mock incredulity. She flushed red, blushing down at the counter.

"They're yours," she confessed.

"You thieving little hussy! I'll have to warn Esme!" Jacob cried. She giggled at his antics as he straightened up and pretended to look for her. Bubbles and chimes filled my ears for the first time in years.

"Fuck I missed that," I whispered to myself, sighing and running a hand through my hair. Ever the perceptive one, Bella heard.

"What did you say?" she asked. Maybe she hadn't heard as much as I thought. Her curiosity lingered even as her friends reappeared by her side.

"I said do you need a lift back to the inn?" I amended. Chrissy's eyes widened to the size of golf balls.

"Can my friends come?" she asked, blushing again. Thank god they couldn't.

"I'll take them back," Jacob volunteered, but Nat shook her head vehemently.

"No, my boyfriend is coming to get us really soon," she insisted, and I was grateful that she was being cautiously responsible. I had a feeling that if Bella has been left in the hands of the other friend she may have ended up a little worse for wear. Or maybe not – maybe I was underestimating Bella because I'd only ever known her as an easily influenced child.

"I'd really like to get to know you," I went on, addressing Bella alone. When our eyes met, something in me lit up. It was like I was waking up from a very long sleep, completely refreshed and ready for anything. I would do anything for her, I would do everything for her. I would walk through fire, I would endure another bullet… anything.

"I'd like to get to know you, too," she blushed.

"We have to go, Bella," Natalie reminded her gently, taking her arm and steering her out.

"I'll drop by the inn!" I called after her, elated when she turned to flash me that dazzling puppy-at-Christmas smile.

"I'm counting on it!" she called back, giggling as Chrissy slapped her on the ass on the way out.

***

**BPOV**

"Why must you ruin my life?" Chrissy asked, fainting dramatically into my arms. I lifted her easily, carrying her drunk ass bridal-style over to Jason's waiting car.

"I'm not ruining your life. It would have never worked between you," I informed her.

"I can tell just by looking at him that he's a freak in the sack. I would have had the best fuck of my life," she argued.

"It wouldn't have worked, Chrissy. He wouldn't have gone home with you," I insisted.

"Why is that?" she challenged as I set her down on the pavement.

"Because he's single," I shrugged, as if that explained everything. To me, it did.

"I don't get it."

"Well he's either looking for a quick fuck or looking for a long-term relationship. If he wanted a quick fuck he could've gone home with any of the whorebags in the bar. Including you," I teased. She grinned, knowing it was true. "But he didn't."

"What if he wants a challenge?" she asked, trying to blow my theory. I gestured for her to come closer, like I was going to tell her a secret. The fresh air had amplified the effects of the several vodkas I'd had that night, and I was feeling… a little intoxicated to say the very least.

"If he'd offered, I would have gone in the back room and fucked his brains out," I whispered drunkenly. We both burst into giggles at that, slapping each other a sloppy high-five while stumbling the rest of the way over. Nat was standing with her hands on her hips, looking seriously cranky and worried.

"Seriously, bub! Can't you count to five?!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. It was really adorable when she was angry.

"I didn't realise!" Jason defended, looking truly apologetic. How could she stay mad at him?

"Well someone's going to have to stay behind and wait so that we can all get home safely. I can't believe you brought both of them! You know we drove here with four people in the car!"

"Well we can squeeze everyone in. Bella's tiny, she only really counts for half a person," Jason tried, smiling hopefully. Nat wasn't having it.

"This is a small town with probably like 3 cops patrolling the streets at this time of night to catch out idiots like you who want to break the law!"

"I can take Bella back."

It was that warm, smooth velvety voice again. He'd obviously come out to see what the yelling was about. I felt my face light up as I whirled around to face him.

"Thanks!" I chirped, skipping over.

"No, no, no, Bella is coming with us," Jason insisted, looking completely intimidated by the gorgeous man standing next to me.

"It's _okay_, guys," I laughed, rolling my eyes. "I can take care of myself." To my surprise, when my friends chuckled at that comment, so did Edward. I turned to glare at him momentarily. He was going to ruin my chances of being alone with him.

"You know what? Why don't you lead the way back to the inn, Edward?" Natalie suggested, being diplomatic and safe at the same time. Gotta love Nat for her great thinking skills.

"That sounds like a great idea," Edward smiled, taking my hand and leading me down the road ever so slightly. "Here, catch," he said, throwing a helmet and jacket at me. We were standing next to a motorcycle. "Think they can keep up?" he asked after I'd climbed on behind him.

"I hope not," I mumbled, wrapping my arms around his stomach. My heart fluttered when he secured my arms around him tighter. He leaned back so that my lips were almost touching his ear.

"Ready?"

"Definitely."

The engine roared to life, and I felt safe with my cheek resting against his back as we were speeding our way towards home.

* * *

**Ooooh sexy motorcycle Edward! Thanks once again for all your support and encouragement, guys! I really appreciate it :) **


	23. All I Believe In Part One

**Hello my ladies (and gentlemen, of course)!**

**I'm back in business and I've got my inspiration machine pumping at full ball!**

**I want to thank you all once again for your amazing reviewing efforts. You guys make me smile. And if you can, everyone needs to check out one particularly epic review that was written for the last chapter, I believe. AWESOME! I laughed so hard. You own me, you really do. **

**ANYHOO! Expect another chapter within the next 12 hours!**

**Excited? I am!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except Chrissy, Nat, Jace and EMMA!**

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**EPOV**

I helped Bella off my bike, amused by the way she desperately tried to smooth her dress down over her knees in the process. She must have noticed something in my expression because she looked up at me and laughed with embarrassment.

"Turn around," she demanded, taking hold of my shoulders and turning me. I chuckled and concentrated on the gravel under my feet, scuffing at it while I heard the rustling of Bella demounting the bike. In true Bella fashion, she simultaneously dropped my helmet and tripped, falling onto my back. I reached behind me and steadied her. "Thanks," she sighed, straightening up as I turned back around to face her.

She held my helmet out apologetically, sweeping some dirt off the side of it and shrugging out of the leather jacket I'd given her. I wasn't surprised when Esme joined us, taking my jacket and folding it over her arm.

"Bella, where are your friends?" she asked, looking genuinely concerned. I glanced at her questioningly, not fully understanding the worry tainting her features. She was with me, what was there to worry about?

"They're behind us," she smiled, smoothing her hair down. "There wasn't enough room in the car so Edward gave me a ride back."

"They'll be here any minute, mom."

"Mom?" I nodded at Bella, seeing realisation dawn on her face. I wondered just _how much_ realisation there was there. "Your family, like… runs this town," she said, a familiar tone of wonder in her voice, her eyes wide and awestruck.

"Not quite, dear," Esme tittered, patting her arm before bustling back inside.

"Come on," I said to Bella, placing a hand on her waist and guiding her over to the front porch. "We'll wait for them." She followed me without hesitation and we sat on the bench side-by-side. She was still too small for her feet to touch the deck, and she swung them lightly just like she used to.

"So you and Emmett are brothers?" she asked. I had been watching her feet so intently that I hadn't noticed that she was looking right at me. We spent the next few minutes talking. Well, I talked and she listened intently as I explained my relationships with everyone she'd met so far. She smiled and nodded and giggled and all the while she swung her little legs back and forth, her hands pressed against the bench at her sides.

Headlights swung in and lit up the areas of the porch not already illuminated by the light peeking through the window. She sighed lightly, looking down at her feet again. I pushed myself up off the bench and held a hand out to her. Although she didn't really need any help standing, she took my offer and let me tug her towards me.

"You're crazy!" Chrissy called, her voice laced with adoration and amusement. Bella grinned at me before spinning around and heading over to her friends. I followed at a slower pace, shoving my hands in my pockets and concentrating on my steps – she was just so breathtakingly beautiful.

Nat stepped out of the car, hands on hips and frowning disapprovingly.

"Are you out of your mind?" she scolded. Bella simply giggled. "Oh it is so not funny and you are so not my friend!"

"I am too," she argued, rolling her eyes. "Relax, Natalie Joy."

"Oh don't even start that with me _Isabella Marie_!"

"It's _Bella_!"

Natalie ignored her protest, turning her glare to me. "I don't care if you have a death wish, but don't _ever_ take off like that with my friend ever again!"

"I'd never hurt Bella," I assured her with a sincerity that had her glare faltering for just one second. The others filed past us, leaving me alone with Natalie and Bella. I saw Chrissy wink at Bella as she stumbled by. I jumped slightly when she slapped my ass and whirled around to find her grinning at me while she headed up the steps.

"Hands off the merchandise, you!" Bella growled playfully. She blew me a kiss. One of Jason's friends mouthed an apology at me, ushering her inside while whispering in her ear. She giggled and hopped onto his back just before the door shut behind them.

"Well, you can go home now," Natalie informed me, crossing her arms. "We're all need to get some rest. Come on, Bella," she said, taking Bella by the arm and leading her away. I couldn't leave it like this – even though I was sure I'd see her at least once more. I just didn't want to take any chances.

"Wait," I pleaded, taking Bella's hand. "I'm going down to the beach tomorrow with some friends. Would you like to come, too?"

"Yes," she responded just as Natalie told me no.

"Bella! We're working on the film tomorrow!"

"I know but I don't _really_ have to be there, right? I mean, having two girls to run around and make sandwiches and coffee is enough for the one day," she justified, looking adorably pleading. "Besides, a day at the beach is totally what I need after everything…" she added softly, turning her face away from me so I wouldn't hear. I wondered what she meant by that, especially when Natalie's face softened and she nodded.

"Okay, bumhead. Just…" she trailed off, sighing and glancing at me warily. "Take my cell, okay?"

"Of course, I was gonna ask for it anyway," she smiled. "Don't tell Renee."

"Why would I tell her?"

"Just don't!"

"Okay!

"I'll meet you inside," she said meaningfully, nudging her towards the front of the house. Natalie rolled her eyes and waved goodbye, trudging inside but not shutting the door behind her. Bella turned to me and blushed. "Sorry."

"Your friends care about you a lot," I commented, feeling grateful that she had such loyal girls looking out for her. Natalie certainly seemed to have Bella's best interests at heart.

"Yeah, they're great," she smiled, watching Natalie ascend the staircase, glancing over her shoulder every now and then to check on Bella. "I'd better go in. Thanks for the ride," she said, reaching up on the tips of her toes to press the tiniest kiss on my cheek. My skin burned where she'd touched me and I was left breathless as she walked away.

"Bella!" I called when I had my voice again. She spun on her heel. "I'll be here when you wake up." It was my old promise to her – part of our nightly ritual. She didn't seem to remember.

"I wake up pretty early," she warned.

"You're on holidays," I reminded her. "Sleep in."

"See you tomorrow, Edward," she smirked, shaking her head a little.

"Goodnight, Bella."

***

**BPOV**

When the sun began to pierce through the curtains in my all-too-familiar room, I decided it as a decent enough time to rise. I hadn't slept very well at all, despite being extraordinarily comfortable in the bed I had been given to sleep in. It was just another one of those things about Forks that seemed to suit me perfectly. The room, the people, the bed… Edward. I sighed as I thought of the man who'd been haunting me ever since I laid my head down on the pillow.

As I had drifted off, my mind filled itself with fluttering images of Edward and I. He carried me into the inn from the forest and wrapped me in a robe. He laughed as we sat in a bathtub and I covered myself with bubbles. He pretended not to see me hiding behind a curtain as I giggled at his false efforts to find me. We laid in a different bed that my mind recognised as his and he held me close, pressing his lips to my hair. He knelt in front of me, his hands framing my face as I cried about something – his eyes full of worry and anger. He kissed me in the foyer of the inn, his lips fervent and adoring. He tied my hair back affectionately as I laid on top of him in a fluffy pink robe. We sat out in the backyard and he lazed against a tree playing guitar while I watched the sky, picking shapes in the clouds. I sat beside him on a piano stool, resting my head on his shoulder as he guided my fingers over the smooth keys. There were dozens upon dozens of images of us eating gummi bears together, swapping favourites and teasing each other with them. We were so carefree and light-hearted. So happy to be near each other. So _in love_.

Then despair filled my heart. A gunshot rang out and a blurred image of Edward hitting the ground, bleeding from the chest as my mother sped the two of us down the driveway of the inn. I screamed for him – a guttural cry that echoed in my mind now, even hours after I had dreamt it.

I swallowed hard and pushed the nightmare to the back of my mind, where it would hopefully dissolve during the course of the day ahead. I was going to see him again, and soon. The thought of spending an entire day with Edward put a spring in my already usually lively step – so much so that I actually found myself skipping downstairs and into the kitchen without a second thought. Several heads snapped up, a mop of unruly bronze hair among them. He hadn't been kidding when he said he'd be here when I woke up.

I was suddenly very aware that I was wearing my ridiculously childish Mickey Mouse shorts and that my hair was impossibly wild after a horrid night's sleep. I reached up and quickly knotted it on top of my head, trying to look casual about it.

"Morning," I croaked blearily, taking a seat at the breakfast table. I didn't feel at all uncomfortable joining what looked to be a family meal – I was just welcomed into it as though they'd been waiting for me all along. Esme slid over a glass of mango juice while Emmett piled pancakes onto a plate for me. "Do you all live here?" I asked, halting Jacob with the butter until Rosalie had poured syrup on top.

"No, but we like to have breakfast together," Jasper smiled, scraping half an omelette onto the space next to my pancakes.

"I'm intruding," I frowned, my comfort disappearing.

"Not at all," Esme assured me kindly.

"We're more than happy to have you here, Bella," Rosalie said. For some reason, because _she_ said it, I felt instantly better. Her acceptance mattered more to me than anyone else's. I didn't know why – by all rights I should have been fighting for Edward's acceptance, but he was right at home with me. He winked as he slipped me a bag of red gummi bears under the table. Jacob, on my other side, nudged me and subtlety showed me the green pack he had hiding in his pocket. I grinned at him. I could see myself making new friends here, fast. _Maybe even more than that…_ I thought as I stole a glance over at Edward. He looked so at ease with his family, smiling as he bit down on a strawberry.

"So what are everyone's plans?" Esme asked, daintily dabbing at her mouth with a napkin.

"I need to help down at the hospital today if that's alright," Jasper said quietly. I pretended not to notice that the other people at the table fell silent. The tension grew quickly, swelling and forming a giant pink elephant in the room. I had a feeling the elephant was wearing Mickey Mouse shorts.

"Is that absolutely necessary?" Edward asked, his tone acidic. I concentrated hard on cutting my pancakes into perfect squares.

"Yes, they said it was urgent."

"I think everything at the hospital is fine," Alice argued. "But if it'll make them happy to have Jasper's personal reassurances…" she trailed off and that seemed to be the end of the matter because Emmett piped up.

"Rose and I are gonna help clean up this place today, ma."

"Thank you, dear."

"No problem."

"I've gotta look after the bar – make sure it's ready for tonight," Jacob mumbled, his mouth full of muffin.

"Wait, how are you related again?" I asked, only just realising then that he hadn't been part of Edward's family description the night before – but he seemed to hang around like he was family.

"He's out pet dog," Emmett grinned, throwing him a scrap of bacon. Jacob shrugged and ate it despite the insult.

"He's been a very close friend of the family ever since he was born," Esme corrected, slapping Emmett lightly. "I need to do some paperwork, please excuse me." She got up from the table then, leaving us to chatter mindlessly while we finished our breakfast.

"I need to get going to the hospital," Jasper mumbled after checking his cell. Edward shook his head slightly and opened his mouth to say something but Alice spoke first.

"Bella, what are you wearing to the beach today?" she asked a little too loudly, not letting me answer before dragging me upstairs and into my room to style me for my day out.

***

**EPOV**

Fucking Renee. Fucking Renee and her fucking meddling.

Ever since the morning of Bella's emancipation, she'd been on the phone to Cystemaco trying to figure out ways to keep her under close watch without suspicion. Then, upon hearing of her trip to Forks, Cystemaco had been on the phone to Jasper directly.

Jasper didn't like dealing with James and Victoria. They were cold and uncaring towards Bella. They didn't give a fuck about her welfare – only about the welfare and reputation of their company.

Cystemaco explained that the particular technology required to modify Bella's memory, like her creation, was only just out of the experimental stages. She was, once again, one of the first people for it to work on. They decided that she needed to be kept under strict observation for at least a few years to ascertain the full effects of the long-term memory modification. They also believed that Renee was the best person to look after her during the time of her observation, and trusted that Jasper would work on getting her home as soon as possible. She was finally her own person and they wanted to rip her freedom away just as quickly as she'd gained it.

What they didn't know was that Jasper wasn't going to fall for their bribes like he had last time. He was no longer under the influence of Carlisle and we could all see that he wanted Bella back here with us – at her _real_ home. But for the sake of his own safety, he left today to meet with them and discuss certain strategies to make sure she doesn't remember anything and to make sure she gets back to Phoenix as soon as possible.

Bella returned from the car with the extra towel we'd packed. Having dropped hers in the ocean while we were searching for shells in the tide pools, she'd insisted on going to get the spare herself – all the while apologizing. Every negative thought or feeling fled far away as she glided through the sand. The wind blew her hair back, her skirt gathering around her legs as she pushed her sunglasses up on her nose – they were too big for her but she still looked perfect – and the sun glinted red and purple hues off her long dark curls. I helped her smooth the new towel down, holding it while she knelt and pressed down on the more stubborn corners.

"Where are the rest of your friends?" she asked curiously, and I knew then that I was caught out in my lie from the previous night. There were no other friends; I'd just wanted Natalie to feel more at ease with our trip. She caught my guilty look and giggled. The bubbles and chimes swirled around us in the light breeze. I let them fill me up. "I would have come anyway," she admitted. "I'm pretty adept at sneaking out. I have a really strict mom."

"Why is she so strict?" I asked, wanting to find out everything I could about the time we'd been away from each other – everything about what she'd been told her past was.

"She's just very protective," Bella shrugged. "I had a really violent past, and when Renee and Charlie adopted me they swore they'd make sure I stayed far away from anything that could put me in danger again. Then one day just after they adopted me, Charlie got shot and the car we were in crashed. He was a cop," she added, sighing. "I have a kind of… amnesia thing," she told me in a whisper. "The only things in my memory are things that have happened in the past four years."

"They adopted you when you were seventeen?" I asked, trying to poke a hole in her story – trying to make her see that it didn't make any sense for anyone to adopt a seventeen year old.

"It was a weird kind of adoption," she shrugged, frowning. "Renee told me that when I was born, the hospital didn't know who my parents were."

"How does that work? I mean, your mother at least had to be pretty conclusive…"

"I have no idea. There was a mix-up, I think. And no one came forward to claim me. It was a busy time. So I never knew my real parents. I was handed over to James and Victoria – they run the adoption agency." She paused to pop a gummi bear into her mouth and I'm glad that she didn't notice me cringe when she said those names that I despised so much. "And they sent me out to a family… I don't remember them. But Renee said that the dad in that family used to hit me and keep me hidden from everyone. I was a prisoner for a long time. Renee and Charlie got me out," she smiled, reaching for two more gummi bears. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was talking about her time with us like it was a nightmare! "The other family members were, like… devastated. Because they didn't know how badly the dad treated me until it was too late and James and Victoria had already stepped in. Renee said I was really close with them," she frowned, clearly trying to remember. My anger for Renee lessened a little with the new knowledge I'd been given.

"Do you remember who they are?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

"Nope," she replied, popping the 'p' and reaching over. She took my arm and lined up a red and yellow gummi bear with my tattoo. "Aww they love each other!" she cooed, making ridiculous kissing noises. "That is the cutest tattoo I've ever seen on a guy."

"How many tattoos have you seen on guys?" I asked, horrified by the prospective answer. It was hard – even painful – to imagine her in such close proximity to any other guy.

"I've seen heaps!" she chirped, leaning back on her elbows and soaking up the sun. "Guys in Phoenix and pretty much constantly walking around shirtless in the summer. It's kind of disgusting," she chuckled. I sighed, relieved until she went on. "My old boyfriend had four tattoos."

"Old boyfriend?" I asked, my jaw taut. This wasn't the kind of thing I wanted to hear from her, but at the same time I wanted to know _everything_ about this guy.

"Jealous?" she asked playfully, quirking an eyebrow just the way I'd taught her to. I scowled at her and she giggled. "He was a total jerk. We only dated for, like… two weeks. It was a few months ago. Two weeks of my life I'll never get back," she sighed dramatically.

"Why did you break up?"

"I told you. He was a total jerk."

"Well what constitutes being a total jerk?" I asked. "I need to know these things, so I know what to avoid."

"Are you thinking about being my boyfriend?" she teased, pushing her sunglasses up on top of her head so I could see her eyes – they danced and sparkled with amusement, and there was the tiniest glint of hope that I prayed I wasn't just imagining. "I don't think you need to worry about anything like that, Edward," she assured me, skilfully dodging the answer to my question. I wasn't going to give up.

"Well, I wanna know anyway. Just in case."

"I'll tell you another time," she skirted, standing and pushing her skirt down her legs. I nearly died at the sight of her in her little black bikini. "Come for a swim," she demanded, holding her hand out for me.

"The water's freezing," I warned. She rolled her eyes.

"Chicken."

"I'm not chicken."

"I think you are."

"Well I'm telling you that I'm not."

"Prove it," she said with that same determination in her eyes as the night she'd asked me to kiss her. This time, though, there was a hint of mischievousness. With an exaggerated sigh, I pulled my shirt over my head and stood. A gasp sounded and when I looked down at Bella she was staring at my scar. The skin was ugly; pulled and pinched together – warping the spot between my hipbone and ribs. "What happened to you?" she breathed, stepping forwards and tracing the scar with genuine concern. She was the only person in the whole world who could touch my scar without me caring, and her fingers felt so good on the marred flesh – it tingled and my entire body flushed with both relief and excitement. I was home with her hands on me, and I'd been waiting so long…

"I was shot," I told her. "About four years ago," I added, knowing that it was too much information – knowing I could be killed for what I had just told her. I didn't care. I wanted her to know – I wanted her to remember everything we'd had and to want everything we could be. She tore her eyes from my abdomen and tried to read my face. I knew she was trying to figure out what it all meant. _Please remember…_ I begged silently.

"How did you get shot?" she asked, her fingertips still running gently across the wound.

"I was trying to protect someone."

"Your sister?" she asked. I wasn't expecting that. I shook my head. "Jason said your family had another sister once," she explained.

"She wasn't a sister," I said quickly, thinking that if she did learn some of the truth then her having the impression that she was my sister was _definitely_ a bad idea. "We took her in because she needed help. There were some people that were after her…" I trailed off, wanting to say so much more, but not knowing where to start or how to explain everything she was missing.

"And they caught up to you all?"

"Something like that."

She considered me for a moment, looking back down and noticing the second tattoo – the tribute to her. "She died." It was more a statement than a question. I shook my head, too thick with emotion to talk. Everything she knew and didn't know was right here in front of her – I needed so badly for her to put the pieces together but it seemed like she wasn't going to do it any time soon.

So until then, I would win her over like any normal guy.

"We gonna go for a swim or are we gonna compare battle scars?" I asked her, reaching under her chin and tilting her head up so she'd look at me. She smiled and took my free hand, leading me down to the icy water.

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**Part Two is on it's way! Expect some fluff… maybe the teensiest but of smuttiness… **_**maybe**_**… Leave a review! Lemme know what you think! **


	24. All I Believe In Part Two

**Here it is, as promised! It's a little fluffy and a little steamy and a little bit… I don't know what. I'm tired now LOL**

**Anyways I want you all to enjoy this! I have another chapter idea already so don't expect a very long wait for the next one…**

**PLEASE read Stripped by punkfarie and don't forget that nominations for the Eddie and Bellie awards are open :) **

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except Nat, Jace, Chrissy and EMMA!**

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**BPOV**

The water really _was_ freezing. It bit at my skin like a thousand tiny pinpricks and I sucked in a sharp breath as I waded further, determined not to look like a chicken – especially when I'd accused Edward of being one.

"You're not cold?" he asked, his voice straining as he waded beside me.

"No," I lied, sucking in another breath.

"Liar," he accused. "You know it's a lot easier to get over the cold if you just dive in."

"Really?" I asked, having heard that particular piece of advice numerous times but playing dumb for the sake of the idea now swirling around in my mind.

"That's what I've heard," he smirked.

"Huh." I tapped at the water lightly with my hands. He mimicked my actions with a joyful smile, and I giggled, doing it once more.

"You're so cute," he laughed, flicking me with some water. It landed on my collarbone, making a chill course through my body. We were almost at the end of the sandbank now, where the ground would drop from beneath our feet and there would be no choice but to fully submerge in the ice-cold liquid. "Having second thoughts?" Edward queried, watching as I looked wistfully back at our waiting towels. I started to head back. He stayed where he was, which was just perfect for me, hands on his hips.

"You sure about this diving thing?" I asked him, stalling while I tried to think of the perfect way to achieve my goal.

"Pretty sure," he nodded, suppressing a grin.

"So if I dive in, will you dive in after me?"

"Sure."

"You promise?" I asked, still trying to formulate the best plan.

"Yeah, I promise I'll be right in after you Bella," he insisted. That was when the plan occurred to me. I'd always had the urge to do this, and I felt like Edward was the only person who wouldn't think it was weird.

"Turn around," I commanded. He raised an eyebrow suspiciously. I quickly stole a line from a friend from back home. "I don't want you to watch my fat jiggle when I run!" I squeaked self-consciously, covering my torso to complete the act.

"You're not fat, Bella," he drawled, but turned around obediently.

"Just stay there. Don't move. Count me down."

Edward counted backwards from ten, giving me plenty of time to get into position. I waded back a little further, till the water was just below my knees and I was right behind him. A smaller, more childish Bella took over my body and pushed me down into a crouching position – like a lioness going for the kill.

"… three, two, one!"

I let out a playful growl and sprang forth, pouncing right onto Edward's back and knocking both of us into the chilly depths of the ocean. We both came up for air laughing, and he yanked me over, kissing my forehead and leaving me momentarily stunned before he pushed my head under the water. I thrashed about, my laughter coming out in gurgles before he let me up again and I was on him, using all of my strength to shove his head down as well. I pushed him so far down that he reached for my ankles and twisted me around. When he came up I was on his shoulders.

"Okay let me down!" I gasped, the wind chilling me to the bone. It was now much warmer in the water than out.

"Not a chance," he laughed, fluttering his fingers under my feet. I was intensely ticklish and I couldn't help it when I toppled back into the water in the midst of hysterical giggles. Edward helped me out this time, tugging me closer more gently and wrapping his arms securely around me. "I can't believe you pounced me," he sighed. His tone was reverent, like I'd granted him some great honour – like he'd been waiting for that special someone to come along and _pounce him_.

"Did I just fulfil some kind of weird Edward Cullen fantasy of yours?" I asked, lifting my arms from the water to wrap around his neck. He didn't answer; he only lifted one of his own hands and caressed my cheek softly. My breath hitched in my throat and I was all of a sudden very nervous. The way that he looked at me was so intensely adoring – full of admiration and fervour – that it should have scared me. It didn't. It felt _right_, but I had never felt this way before. How could either of us feel like this about each other when we'd only met less than twenty-four hours ago? That, right there, the prospect of feeling this intensely for someone I barely knew, was what made me nervous.

"Beautiful," he murmured, rendering me helpless in his arms. His emerald eyes shone, the water glittering off his copper-tinted hair, trailing down his porcelain skin and the delicious planes of his chest. And he thought _I_ was the beautiful one.

"You can't say those things to me," I blushed, the weight of the entire situation crashing down on me. I was leaving in a few short weeks, and I was going to fall for Edward in the meantime. Then what? What would happen when I left for home and he stayed behind? Distance didn't make for a practical relationship – in my experience and the experience of my friends, it never worked out. And he deserved so much better than that, anyway.

"Why not?" His eyes bore into mine, begging for an answer. He guided us back to the sandbank to save us treading water, but kept his arms around me. I rested my head in the crook of his neck, and his hands were like velvet on my back. I shivered again.

"Because I'm going to fall in love with you," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping it wouldn't scare him away. He swallowed and pressed me closer until I was moulded against him completely.

"That's not a bad thing, Bella," he replied, burying his nose in my hair and breathing in deeply. I did the same. He smelled like a man should smell – like cigarettes, leather and cheap aftershave mixed with sea salt.

"You don't think it's weird?" I asked, shifting a little to look up at him. He lightly kissed the tip of my nose.

"I think you're the most real person I've ever met," he told me sincerely. "Not weird at all." I sighed with relief. "Completely sweet and adorable, but not weird," he added with a light chuckle.

"I'm kinda scared of this." I gestured between the two of us, silently accepting whatever it was we were about to dive into. Edward sighed, frowning and nodding in an understanding way.

"Well… I _do_ have a fool-proof way to cure your fear," he joked, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"Is that a fact?"

"Stand here," he instructed, turning me around. His lips were at my ear, his hands resting on my hips. "Shut your eyes."

"'Kay…"

He swept my hair back and let it fall over one of my shoulders. I felt the rough stubble of his chin on the newly exposed flesh. His touch left my hips and found my hands, his fingers entwining with my own. Water from his hair was dripping onto my shoulder, but I didn't care. It felt nice. Everything he did felt nice. I drew in a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed as instructed. Joke or not, I wasn't scared when he wrapped our arms around my torso. I wasn't thinking about how much this could hurt us in the end – I wasn't thinking about anything but the fact that no matter where I was, this would feel like home. Here, wherever his arms were around me.

"Are you afraid?" he murmured against my skin, his lips brushing across my shoulder blade. A fire began smouldering in the depths of my consciousness, the more adolescent part of me begging for more contact. I was feeling anything _but_ scared.

"No," I uttered, my fingers tightening over his. I brought one of our entwined hands up to my chest – a reflex response to my hammering heart.

"Butterflies," Edward whispered. I felt his smile on my neck. I very nearly groaned.

"You're going to kill me," I grinned, not minding at all if my death certificate read _Death by Edward Cullen_. He snickered, kissing a path from my ear to my shoulder. "You should be outlawed from doing this to girls, you know."

"My fear-destroying techniques must be revered, not regarded with contempt." He kissed his way back up, then down again. My breathing became more laboured with each gentle brush of his lips.

"I totally agree. Zero contempt," I swallowed, leaning into his touch.

"Uh-huh," he glowed, turning me in his arms and transferring his attention to my collarbone.

"But the thing is," I whimpered, finding it increasingly harder to form a single thought. "You can't just _do_ this to a girl, because… um… you know it means that…" I trailed off, unable to ignore the way his mouth felt on my throat. "Outlawed," I exhaled, freeing my hands and tangling them in his hair. My eyes were still shut when I blindly tugged upwards and captured his lips with mine.

***

**EPOV**

I knew I was going too far. I knew I shouldn't even be alone with her let alone be so close to her. I knew I _definitely_ shouldn't be kissing her. I knew all of these things, but unlike the first time I kissed her and I felt like it was wrong, I kissed her and it not only felt right but it also felt _good_.

Standing with her in the water, my mind had become very quickly hazy with my deep affection for her. I couldn't help but hold her hand as we waded, or to guide her by the small of her back, to tickle her feet or take her face in my hands – it had been four entire years since I'd been near her and I was going to take advantage of every little bit of contact that I could weasel my way into. If she'd shown any sign of discomfort, I would have stopped myself, but she didn't. So I kept letting myself get a little closer each time. Before I knew it, her little frame was contoured against my own and she was whispering that she was going to fall for me. How else was I supposed to react to that? How else was I supposed to feel, knowing that even now – even though she'd been given the opportunity to be away from me and grow into a normal young woman – the attraction between us was still so magnetic that she wanted to be with me despite the fact that we were strangers?

So I let my pretences slip – if only just for one day – and I treated her with the love, adoration, affection and worship that I felt for her still after such a long separation. If there were any change in my feelings it would have been that I loved her more now. She had been given every chance to be with whomever she wanted to be with – I knew the boys in Phoenix must have been falling at their feet – but she still chose _me_. I let my lips trail against her skin, now salty just like the corn chips she still mysteriously held in her scent. I felt every tremble – every goose-bump – and I etched it into my brain where they would be vaulted away in case anything ever separated us again. But I also promised her, with every connection of our urgent lips, that I would _never_ let that day of separation catch up with us no matter how inevitable it seemed.

Drunk on the taste of gummi bears and seawater, we finally parted to find that we had slowly made our way back to the towels. With a startled squeak, Bella dropped to her knees and began rummaging through her bag. She retrieved Natalie's cell – now with about a thousand missed calls – and dialled frantically.

"I'm okay!" was her apologetic greeting. I could hear Natalie freaking out on the other end. "I'm really sorry, bumhead I got… distracted…" she blushed, glancing embarrassedly up at me. I felt like a kid who'd been busted making out under the bleachers as I flopped onto my towel, I goofy smile on my face. Bella drew her knees to her chest as Natalie kept talking, Bella interrupting now and then to insist that she was fine and apologise again. I hung my jacket over her shoulders when she shivered and pulled her against me. The sun was beginning to go down. "Yeah we're just about to head back to the inn. Edward has to work at the club tonight, anyway."

We stood then and I helped Bella balance as she tried to dress, pack up and talk on the cell all at the same time. She was still reassuring Natalie as I started the car and pulled out onto the winding road that would take us home.

"Well if you'd have come looking for us you would have seen that I was completely safe. What's cliff diving? Well Jacob wasn't there! I don't know… okay we were alone! Stop it! I'm fine! I had the cell! Bumhead, relax! Ugh!" she threw her face into her hands once she'd dropped the phone back into her bag with disdain.

"She doesn't like me."

"She doesn't trust you, Edward. It isn't the same. Natalie's seen some… not-so-nice things in her lifetime. And she's saved me from plenty of situations that could have ended a lot more tragically than they did," she explained, leaning back in her seat and swinging her head around to send me a sympathetic smile. "She'll warm up, it just takes her a little while."

"At least I know Chrissy likes me," I laughed, remembering what Bella had told me about her not-so-pure intentions.

"Don't tell her I told you," she pleaded as we stilled in the driveway of the inn. I realised when I checked my watch that I was going to be late for work, but I knew I'd be forgiven seeing as my reason for lateness was spending time with Bella.

"I don't think I ever want to bring up the subject with her, anyway," I admitted. "There's only one girl around here I want to hit on me."

"Emma, right?" Bella joked, hauling her bag onto her shoulder. I tugged her closer by her waist and buried my face in her neck. She giggled when I bit down, the sound of her joy making my own swell. "Edward, it tickles!" she squealed.

"Come to the club tonight," I beseeched her, moving my lips to her ear.

"I don't think I'll be able to get away," she whispered, pressing her forehead to mine. We both saw Natalie and Esme standing on the front porch waiting for Bella to join them but we ignored them.

"Maybe I'll call in sick," I pondered between kisses, her hair silky as it fell through my fingers.

"That's the best idea you've had all day," she purred, toying with the hairs on the back of my neck. Just like she used to.

"Let me make the call…"

"No, not yet," she protested, pulling my face back to hers and taking my upper lip in another searing kiss. I couldn't back away from her even if my life had depended on it. The way her lips moved against mine, the way her tongue teased and tantalized me… it was heavenly and sinful all at the same time.

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere?" boomed Emmett from his Jeep. I hadn't even noticed it pulling up beside us.

"Edward's too sick to work," Bella informed him, leaning against me and smirking up at him.

"I can see that. He's looking real ill," he droned sarcastically, folding his arms over his chest. "I need you there, bro."

"Just one night, Em," Edward implored, tightening his hold on me. "I've never taken a night off before." Emmett's eyes darted between the two pleading sets before him.

"I'll ask Jasper to cover for you," he acquiesced. Bella beamed and threw her arms around him.

"Thanks, Emmett!"

"You're welcome, Bella," he choked, hugging her back with a little more emotion than the situation called for.

***

We spent the rest of the night just lazing around the inn with her friends. I noticed, by the third musical movie that I didn't complain about, that Nat's expression was softer and friendlier when she looked at me. Most of that, I was sure, was due to Bella's uninhibited happiness. Chrissy made comments throughout the night that her giddiness had been noticeably lacking in recent times, and I was guessing that they were all so glad to see her back to her normal self that they couldn't stay mad. I was more grateful for that than any of them would ever know – especially if they all ended up finding out the truth about all of us.

At some point during Mamma Mia, Bella fell asleep. She snored lightly against my chest and I ignored the movie, more interested in her facial expressions as she dreamed. Absently, I brushed her hair back from her forehead in rhythmic strokes and just watched her sleep.

"We'll show you her room," Natalie whispered, helping me hoist her up once the movie was done. She grumbled softly and nuzzled into my chest. I didn't bother to tell Nat that I already knew where her room was – I wanted to stay on her good side. Both she and Jason flanked me on either side as we trudged to her room. "Where are you staying?" Nat asked, pulling door shut behind us after tucking Bella in nice and snug.

"I'll just take a couch," I shrugged, running a weary hand over my face. I was beat and ready to wake up to a fresh day to spend with Bella tomorrow. "Do you mind if I steal her again tomorrow?"

"No motorcycle," was her only request.

"I'll take the Volvo."

"Where?"

"Not sure yet."

"No deal."

"Maybe we'll just hang here."

"That sounds nice. You take care of my girl."

"Otherwise we'll kill you," Jason piped up. "Bella means the world to us."

"She means the world to me, too," I confessed. Jason rolled his eyes and headed into his room. Natalie looked wary as she followed him, bidding me goodnight. _If only they knew just how much…_

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**I think I can still manage to pump out another one tomorrow night! Fingers crossed that inspiration stays fresh!**

**Leave a review! Let me know what you think!**


	25. Halo

**HELLO EVERYONE!**

**I'm back and I would like to apologise for keeping you all waiting so long! This time I did it on purpose because I wanted to post this chapter to coincide with a very special event!**

**I'd like you all to wish my Edward a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! **

**Yes, our awesome man of total awesomeness is celebrating his birthday today! Feel free to send me copious amounts of gummi bears in his honour ;)**

**Also I would like to wish Larin20, author of Treading Water, Happy Birthday as well! Have a great day, BB!**

**So without further ado, here is the chapter!**

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"You can't just_ decide_ – "

"Yes I can!"

"_No_ – "

"Yes I _can_, you butthead!"

A handful of yellow gummi bears hit my face. I scowled at the launcher of said gummi bears and retaliated by launching red ones. Bella looked shocked and offended, her eyebrows furrowed together in an expression of betrayal.

"How _could_ you?" she gasped dramatically, holding her heart and gazing sorrowfully down at the fallen gummis. I patted her head, playfully patronizing her.

"We'll hold a funeral."

"Will you deliver the eulogy?"

"Of course! I'll cry and everything."

"Well... you're _nearly_ forgiven," she smirked, leaning back against the tree. Ahead of us, Jason was directing his actors and the film crew were bustling about.

"What can I do to make sure I'm entirely forgiven?" I asked, pulling her closer. She took my hand and rested her head on my shoulder.

"I'll get back to you on that one."

"I still say you can't just decide one day that you're no longer a fan of the clear ones," I said, bringing up our previous conversation.

"I can decide whatever I want, and I've _decided_ that I'm now eating solely the yellow, red and orange ones," Bella retorted with a decisive nod.

"Ridiculous. The clear ones are delicious," I argued, shaking my head.

"I disagree."

"You're not allowed to disagree with me, you know."

"What was that? You're not forgiven for killing my gummi deliciousness?" she joked, pretending not to hear me. I chuckled, pressing a kiss to her hair. I had missed this light-hearted playfulness. I had been with other girls since Bella left – something I was just beginning to feel the full weight of regret over – but none of them had been able to provide the environment of peace and happiness that Bella brought with her. She was the most calming and grounding person in my life.

"And how do I gain forgiveness for the sacrifice of the holy red gummis?" I asked with a smirk, twisting my body to face her at the exact moment that she pulled back to look at me properly. My smirk was met with a playful grin and Bella raised her finger to tap twice on her cheek. I very willingly obliged to her silent request, leaning over and pressing my lips to her skin. I kept them there longer than normal before dragging them down across her jaw-line and over to her ear, relishing in the sound of her breath being drawn sharply in response to my kiss.

"Okay, you're forgiven," she breathed. "You don't have to... do that."

"What am I doing?" I asked, playing innocent and leaning back against the tree. I motioned for her to sit back against me and she did, wrapping my arms around her and turning her head slightly to kiss my arm. She didn't answer my question, we just kept watching the film being made and Bella occasionally had to get up and help the crew or actors. It was fun to see her in an environment where she really was just a normal girl, doing normal things. When we were on our own, her quirky older side came out – the side that I remembered – but here she was Bella Swan. It was hard to believe that my fears had come true – she had left and forgotten all about me, just like I'd thought she would when Renee and Charlie came into her life – but we were still surviving. In fact, we had more potential now than we ever did before. I loved it and cursed it all at the same time.

"This place is gorgeous," she sighed, looking around the meadow we were sitting on the edge of. "I'll have to thank Alice for showing Jason the way."

"Edward showed me," Jason called, not giving me the opportunity to say it myself.

"Really?" she asked, looking surprised.

"Why does that surprise you?"

"You just don't strike me as the kind of guy who hangs out in meadows."

"I don't hang out in meadows," I laughed, rubbing up and down her sides, memorizing every dip and curve of her body and how it felt underneath my hands. She'd gotten curvier in the last four years. Not fatter or anything, just curvier... more filled out. "This is just _one_ meadow that I happened to find when I was hiking one day."

"Do you hike a lot?" she asked, waving goodbye to the crew as the filed past to take a break from their hard day's work.

"No," I admitted, lacing my fingers with hers. "I used to, a couple of years ago. But I don't really hike anymore."

"Why not?"

"Well I never really liked hiking in the first place. I only did it to get away from stuff. I was going through a hard time after I got out of hospital."

"You were in hospital?"

Natalie and Chrissy approached, no doubt wanting Bella to go back with them.

"After I got shot I was in hospital for a little while," I reminded her. She cringed and squeezed my hands. I wondered why it had that kind of effect on her – hearing about my being shot – but I didn't get the chance to ask.

"You were shot?" Natalie queried, sitting opposite us. She looked me critically up and down, probably wondering what kind of guy Bella was hanging out with. I mean, it doesn't really bode well when your best friend's new love interest has been shot before.

"Four years ago," I nodded.

"Someone was trying to hurt his sister," Bella explained, eager for Natalie to understand that I wasn't some wild gang member or drug lord or something equally dangerous. But I needed her to get that sister thing out of her head.

"She wasn't my sister," I said quickly. "She was just living with us. She was my best friend," I amended, hoping this didn't blow up in my face when the truth eventually came out like I knew it would. The truth always comes out one way or another. It's why I hated having to lie to her – it seemed so pointless to delay the inevitable.

"Bella's dad was shot four years ago, wasn't he Bella?" Chrissy pointed out. Bella nodded. "Weird," Chrissy muttered, shaking her head. My jaw tightened and I held onto Bella tighter, knowing that it wasn't just a weird coincidence – knowing that we were both shot by the same person on the same day. How long before she remembered that she was there and saw the whole thing?

"Are you coming back with us?" Natalie asked, standing and brushing herself off. "We're all starving. Esme said she was gonna order some Chinese for everyone. She's so lovely," she smiled. Getting to know her was one of the best things I could have ever done – she was definitely beginning to trust me, and I was beginning to understand that even if Bella was taken from me again she would be safe and loved with her friends. Thanks to Natalie, Chrissy and the others, I was beginning to feel like everything was going to be okay – no matter what the outcome. As long as Bella had us, she would be safe and happy and healthy.

"I'd like to talk to Bella alone for a moment, if that's okay," I told her, slipping my hand into my pocket and fingering the gift I had waiting for her. "We shouldn't be too long."

"Is that what they're calling it these days?"Chrissy teased with a wink. Natalie slapped her playfully and they left us alone, Bella swivelling around and facing me. I frowned and pulled her back against me, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her cheek from behind.

"I've been thinking about something," I began, speaking in her ear. I felt her sigh lazily – she was limp against me, her fingers moving languidly up and down my arms. "I feel like I've known you forever... and I missed your birthday. I never bought you a gift or even said Happy Birthday or anything."

"We only met on my birthday," she smiled, laughing slightly.

"True. But seeing as I feel like I've known you forever..." I trailed off, shrugging. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I never gave you a gift for your birthday?" I asked, brushing my thumbs against the small span of skin exposed between her jeans and shirt. She was so smooth – perfect.

"Boyfriend?" she echoed softly. "I like the sound of that." It was the first time either of us had acknowledged our relationship out loud. It sounded good to me as well.

"So I was thinking after our conversation the other day that I should get you something."

"Is that where you disappeared to yesterday?" she asked. I knew she'd never bought my story about being at the bar cleaning all day. And knowing her, she'd probably stopped by just to see me to find the bar empty. It said a lot about her trust in me that she'd never brought it up until now.

"Yeah, I needed to do a lot of searching to find something perfect."

"You shouldn't have done that," she grinned, tilting her head back and kissing my chin.

"But I wanted to, so... now you have to guess what I got you."

"It has something to do with our conversation the other day?"

"Yes."

**BPOV**

_The sky was bright blue and unusually clear for Forks. The film crew couldn't work because the weather was so perfect. Everyone had gone to Port Angeles to look around but I'd stayed behind at the inn to spend time with Edward. _

_We were at the beach again, lying on our towels, which were closer on this day than they'd been the first time we'd gone to the beach. Edward was on his back, shirt off and arms behind his head. I was on my side, propped up on my elbow, tracing his butterfly tattoo lightly with my fingers. _

"_What's your favourite colour?" Edward asked suddenly. I looked up to find one of his eyes open, the other still clamped shut. His hand was shading his eyes. _

"_I don't have one," I shrugged. "What's yours?"_

"_Blue," he said simply, shutting his eyes again and settling back down properly on his towel._

"_What's your star sign?" _

"_Capricorn. And you're a Cancer."_

"_That's not a very nice thing to say," I joked, prodding him in the side. He grinned, his eyes still closed. "Yes, I'm a Cancer."_

"_What's your favourite animal?" he asked, blindly reaching out for me. I scooted closer and laid beside him, my head resting perfectly in the dip of his chest, my arm across his stomach. He pressed his lips to my hair, waiting for my answer. _

"_Butterflies are my favourite."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because they're beautiful and delicate, but they're strong enough to carry their own weight when they fly. No one ever wants to hurt butterflies. I don't know a single person in the world who doesn't like butterflies. And they're associated with romance and innocence... butterflies are just amazing," I explained, making a butterfly with my hands and flying it above us. _

"_I love the way you think," Edward sighed. I wanted to see his face, so I rolled over onto his chest. Supporting myself on my arms, my hair fell over our faces, surrounding us with a brown and red curtain of spirals. _

"_Your turn. Favourite animal."_

"_There's this really unique species of bird, actually," he smirked. I didn't know what he was getting at. I raised my eyebrow at him, gesturing for him to go on. "It's called the Bella Swan."_

"_Oh shut up."_

"_Was that the sappiest thing you've ever heard?"_

"_Yes. You're pathetic."_

_He chuckled and pulled my face down for a kiss. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but by the end of it, my lips were red and swollen. Edward's hair was even messier than usual and I swept it back from his forehead. He kissed me again gently before beginning our questioning session again. _

"_You never told me your favourite colour."_

"_I said I don't have one," I shrugged. _

"_Well you can pick more than one." I considered my choices, rolling off Edward and ignoring his little whine of protest and looking around me. There were so many colours! How could I even pick just a handful? But then I thought about the things in life that meant the most to me, and the choices were easy. _

"_Green," I listed first and foremost – for Edward's emerald eyes and the way the greenery of Forks made me feel like I was home. "Blue," was next – for the peace that the sky and the sea brought, and because it just seemed to go hand in hand with green. "Pink," was thirdly – for the way Natalie doodled little pink hearts on all the notes she wrote to me. "Yellow," because of the time Jason showed up on my doorstep with bright yellow flowers when I was feeling down. "And purple," because of how beautiful Chrissy looked when the purple lights hit her the night we met. _

"_Green, blue, pink, yellow and purple," Edward recited, playing with my fingers._

***

Natalie's cell had gone off after that, and we'd gone back to the inn. This was the only conversation he could have been talking about, but unless he'd bought me a rainbow or a crab or a butterfly I had no idea what he could have gotten me. Not anything he could have had with him, anyway.

"Um, a cancerous rainbow butterfly?" I suggested, grinning and knowing it wasn't right.

"How did you guess?" Edward laughed, reaching into his pocket and lifting my hair. Something cold and light dropped onto my chest, but I didn't get the chance to look at it because Edward covered my eyes and kissed up and down the side of my neck. It certainly felt like he'd just fastened a necklace around my neck but... there was no way that's what it could be, right? I mean, we'd just _met_... he'd only _just_ called himself my boyfriend. There was no way he would have bought me jewellery. "Tell me if you hate it," he whispered, uncovering my eyes. My eyes dropped and I gasped at the small silver butterfly resting just between my breasts. It was gorgeous, to say the very least, and the closer I looked at it the more I wondered how he could have found something so perfect.

The wings had two stones each set in the silver – blue, green, purple and pink respectively – and the body of the butterfly glittered with yellow stones. The chain glinted in the sunlight, delicately decorating my neck and collarbone.

"Edward..." I gasped, at a loss for words. How did he get such a perfect necklace? _Why_ would he get such a perfect necklace?

"Its white gold," he murmured in my ear, reaching down and resting the butterfly pendant in his palm. "The stones are different coloured sapphires – it was hard to find. Do you like it?"

"It's amazing," I breathed, gazing down at it, unbelieving. White gold and precious stones? How could he afford this? Even if he could, why was he spending that kind of money on me? I couldn't accept such an extravagant gift from him. "But, Edward –"

"I want you to have it, Bella," he insisted before I could even protest properly. I sighed and turned to face him, the pendant falling from his hand as I moved. "I'm so glad you like it." His smile was too joyful to resist and I found myself smiling back at him and fingering my new piece of jewellery.

"I love it. It's so beautiful."

"It suits you," he smiled, brushing my hair back into a ponytail and fastening it with an elastic band he had around his wrist. He always had an elastic band around his wrist even though his hair was too short to tie back. It was all very convenient, but just one of the many things that was mysterious about him. I was about to ask him about it when Jasper came up behind us. I jumped, startled by his sudden appearance. I don't know why, but I always felt a little jumpy around him.

"Edward can I talk to you for a minute?" he requested breathlessly, panting from the trip to the meadow.

"Sure, let's just get back to the inn first. It's getting cold out," Edward replied, wrapping his jacket around my shoulders as we began the walk back.

***

**EPOV**

Jasper looked tense. I sped up my pace, happy that Bella was keeping up without any sign of struggle. Her soldier DNA came in handy sometimes, as much as I hated it. Whatever it was that was making him like this, I knew that it had something to do with Bella because he was practically jogging in his haste to get me alone.

Bella's friends were packing up their van for the next day's shooting when we arrived at the inn – a new car was there as well probably for another actor, which was just perfect because it meant I could slip inside while she was parading her gift around and she would barely even notice I was gone. I heard Nat squealing as I shut the door behind me.

"What's going on?"

"Get Bella out of here," he whispered frantically.

"Why?"

"Just trust me; you don't want her here tonight."

"Alright, we're going," I muttered, turning swiftly and marching outside again. Bella must have seen me out of the corner of her eye, because she turned and greeted me with a dazzling smile when I was only halfway to her. "Bella, I have an idea." I swept her up and spun her around, hiding my unease and letting myself become lost in her perfection.

"I like your ideas," she giggled, running her hands through my hair. The others brushed past us to get the dinner Esme was calling them in for.

"I say we have dinner at my place."

"But Esme just bought dinner for everyone," she frowned, glancing towards the inn, biting her lip.

"She won't mind. I'm sure Emmett will eat our share anyway," I tried, kissing her neck just the way she liked, trying to be as persuasive as possible. She shivered, and I rejoiced. She wouldn't be able to resist.

"Okay, Casanova... I'll come just let me tell the guys that I'm going," she chuckled, prying herself away from me, trembling gently.

"I'll tell them, you should get your helmet on," I suggested, starting for inside. She shook her head.

"I'll go."

"I'll go."

"We'll both go," she compromised. I didn't back down. I didn't want her going inside at all. Not for one little second.

"Just stay here, Bella... I'll take care of it for you," I pressed, arousing suspicion in her for the very first time.

"Why don't you-"

"Bella!" Chrissy called, barrelling down the stairs and straight over to us. "You'll never guess who's here!"

"Who?" Bella asked, not taking her eyes off me. She was putting the pieces together. Whoever was here was what I wanted to keep her away from. Why couldn't she put the pieces together when I wanted her to?

"Come inside and see!" Chrissy was practically bursting at the seams, and her excitement was contagious. Bella's frown dissolved into a toothy grin, her nose crinkling, and she took my hand and dragged me along while she dashed inside. My insides were burning, protesting and telling me to get her out. But when she turned back and I saw how happy she was, I promised myself that even though I couldn't get her out of here straight away I would protect her from whatever was waiting for us.

***

**BPOV**

It only took a glimpse of flame-red hair for me to know who was waiting for me at the dinner table.

"Victoria!" I squealed, throwing myself at her. She chuckled into my hair. "James!" I laughed, wrapping my arms around her partner. He patted my hair affectionately. I couldn't believe they were here!

"Hello Bella," James greeted, pulling a chair out for me. Edward sat beside me, staring into his lap. I wondered what was wrong and why he didn't want me to see these people, but decided it was a topic best left alone for the moment. James narrowed his blue eyes questioningly. He went to ask Edward something but Victoria pulled on his ponytail playfully and shook her finger.

"What are you guys doing here? This is such a surprise!"

"We couldn't let the week of your birthday go by without seeing you," Victoria explained, her voice smooth and sweet. She sounded like kittens and bubblegum.

"I'm so happy you came! Everyone, this is-"

"We've met," James interrupted my introduction with an easy smile. I knew they already knew most of my friends, but the Cullens as well? _Strange..._

"Really?" I didn't bother to conceal my surprise, turning to Edward. "Edward, you didn't tell me you knew James and Victoria."

"We only met once. Years ago," he mumbled.

"Edward is an orphan too, Bella," Victoria explained. "As are Alice and Emmett. We've liaised quite a bit with Carlisle in the past and of course Jasper was working for him."

"Carlisle was my husband," Esme told me, but I already knew that. Edward must have told me, I just couldn't remember when.

"So tell us, Bella. How was your birthday?" James asked, passing around the egg rolls.

"Yes, tell us _everything_. That necklace is just stunning," she pointed out. I blushed, looking down at it. I couldn't wait to tell them all about Edward, but it would have to wait for a more private moment. A moment when his entire family wasn't sitting right there.

"My birthday was great," I replied, only looking up to scrape some noodles onto my plate.

"How is your mom?"

"Renee's okay. Pissed that I came here, but otherwise she's fine," I confessed, laughing a little. Victoria and James chuckled beside me.

"You should have seen the fit Renee threw, James. You would have loved it," Jason grinned.

"Oh I bet she's gonna be a force to reckon with when you get home."

"Well you guys know more than anyone that she can't boss me around anymore," I justified, shrugging and shovelling some rice into my mouth. It was bothering me that the Cullens were so silent. They were normally chatty and lively – dinner took nearly an hour because of how much we all talked. "I didn't realise that you guys were from Phoenix," I said loudly, trying to get them to talk. The silence was starting to become deafening. I wanted to know how exactly they knew James and Victoria.

"We're not from Phoenix. I would have told you that," Edward promised me, looking worried and frightened. I slipped a hand underneath the table and squeezed his knee. He seemed relieved and laced his fingers with mine. I turned to James now, wondering if it were possible that _they_ were the ones that had lied. Something wasn't adding up, but I believed Edward.

"I thought you said you only looked after the one state?"

"We do," James assured me, trying and failing to pick up a spear of baby corn with his chopsticks. I stared at him some more. That wasn't any kind of explanation!

"Bella you're from Washington, not Phoenix," Victoria admitted gently. That was news to me. I was always told that my home was in Arizona. It certainly explained why Renee didn't want me to come back here, and also explained why I'd felt the need to come despite her protests. Washington _was_ my home.

"I was born here?"

"You were born in Seattle. Your first family was in Washington, too."

"The one with the father that-"

"They took good care of you, Bella," James interrupted, glancing around the table with a certain air of nervousness that I didn't understand.

"Renee didn't want me to find my family, did she?"

"No, sweetheart, she didn't."

"If I found them, would I even know it?" I asked. For some reason, James began to laugh. I didn't think it was very funny at all. I was sitting here coming to grips with an entirely new reality and the possibility of knowing where I came from. All I wanted to know was if I saw them, would I know that they were the people who first raised me. What could possibly be so funny about that?

"Bella your amnesia..." Victoria trailed off, not knowing how to answer my question. Disappointed, I pushed the last of my broccoli around my plate.

"Eat your broccoli, Bella," Esme chimed from across the table. I smiled embarrassedly and popped the last little floret into my mouth – she was always taking care of me in little ways like that. It kind of made me wonder if Renee had called her and instructed her to mother me as much as possible. But probably not – it just seemed like it was part of her nature to be that way.

"So do you know where we can find them?" Natalie piped up, her eyes sparkling with excitement. I looked over hopefully, my leg bouncing with anticipation. Thoughts of what it would be like to be hugged by my very first mother, brothers and sisters suddenly filled my mind. I warmed up inside thinking that maybe – just maybe – I'd be able to spend time with them and get to know what my life was like before the accident. I would introduce my current friends to my old friends. And Edward could come, too. We would be a huge family – present and past together making me finally complete. Every eye was trained on James and Victoria now. We all waited with bated breath, and I swear there was a collective disappointed sigh when Victoria began shaking her head.

"No, I'm afraid not, Bella. I'm sorry."

"Well could you find out? There must be a way," Chrissy insisted. She was looking over at me instead at Victoria, offering me a reassuring smile while I played with the rim of my glass. Edward rubbed the back of my hand gently with his thumb.

"I'm afraid there isn't any way," James reiterated. Emmett suddenly pushed away from the table and stormed away, causing me to jump out of my skin.

"You'll have to excuse us," Rosalie mumbled, swiftly following in his wake. Alice whispered something to Jasper, and Jasper nodded. Esme threw Edward a look that I couldn't read properly. All in all, the Cullens were having a completely silent conversation and the rest of us were being left in the dark. It was another one of those weird Forks moments. Natalie narrowed her eyes at the scene in front of us, the cogs in her head turning. We would have to have a talk about all of this later. Together, we could figure any mystery out. We were a couple of awesome ideas women, us two.

"I remember when you were little." James broke the silence, tilting his head and offering up a small smile. "You were such a stubborn little girl."

"Remember the time we tried to give her that needle?" Victoria mused; giggling at the memory only the two of them could share. It always bothered me when they did this. It never made me feel better. It only ever made me feel inadequate for all the things I couldn't remember and for all the things I was never able to have because I never knew my parents and there was no tangible way of knowing my past.

"She screamed so loud," James laughed. "She ran away," he went on, addressing the rest of the table. "Went into the woods, screaming the whole time."

"It's a wonder nobody called the authorities," Victoria added, affectionately playing with the ends of my hair.

"It's a wonder no one found her there in the woods." Alice's voice was pleasant, but I sensed something more behind it – an attitude of sorts that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Victoria shifted uncomfortably while James gave a non-committal grunt.

"Yeah, if I heard someone screaming in our forest, I'd go in and find her. Definitely," Edward agreed. "Who knows what could have happened to her," he continued, shifting his glance from them to me. I smiled at him as he stared meaningfully at me, his eyes begging for something, but I didn't know what.

The table had gone silent again. There was so much to say, but I had no idea where to begin. Questions flew around my head like fireflies lighting up every emotion you could imagine. Beside me, Edward was still and silent. He became my stronghold without even knowing it. With him by my side, even though I could sense his inner turmoil, I felt safe and calm. The fireflies settled and suddenly I was okay. He felt me staring and looked up, his beautiful face anguished.

"Remember that time Bella asked us what the turkey baster was?" Jason cracked up.

***

**EPOV**

_Please remember, Bella. _

_Please remember me._

_Please remember us._

_Please remember them for what they are. _

Beside me, Bella was animatedly sharing past experiences with her creators. I hoped that she was only further proving the point that she remembered absolutely nothing of her life with us, but James kept stealing glances at our entwined hands under that table. It made me think that no matter how much they heard and saw tonight, he would go back with something that could make him doubt that she had no memories whatsoever. But there wasn't a chance in hell that I would pull away from her – even if it was a risk to be near her – I wasn't going to make that mistake ever again.

So I kept silently begging her to remember, all the while praying that she would keep her mouth shut if she ever did. Knowing her, she would shout it from the rooftops and go all jungle-woman on James and Victoria. I would definitely pay to see that fight. And I would definitely bet on Bella winning. She could take them both down in an instant.

It was that thought that made me smile while Bella and I sat on the front porch, everyone else having filed back inside after saying goodbye to James and Victoria. She sighed audibly, but it wasn't a sad kind of sigh. I looked over at her and she was smiling serenely back at me.

"You're feeling better," she stated matter-of-factly. I smiled wider – her perception was so spot on exactly when I didn't need it to be.

"I'm not on the best terms with James in Victoria," I shrugged, trying to make it seem like it wasn't the huge fucking deal that it truly was. Her _creators_ – the people responsible for the melange of tragedy and misadventure that defined Bella's life – had just been sitting in the place we made home for her. She had no idea how much of a huge fucking deal it was to her. Forget me. It should have been a huge moment for _her_.

"Were you a totally mischievous orphan?" she asked, a smile in her voice.

"I've definitely broken a few of their more precious rules," I hinted, not technically lying but not going into the entire truth of that particular statement, either.

"I can definitely see you tearing the place down like a bronze-haired Dennis the Menace."

"Mm... and I may or may not still have my slingshot."

She giggled then, those warming sounds making me feel safe again.

"Has anyone told you that you have the most adorable laugh ever?"

"Nat said once that she loves how my nose crinkles. I hate my laugh. I hate my smile," she frowned, fiddling with her new pedant. "It makes my eyes all squinty. And my teeth are gross."

"Your teeth are perfect," I argued, bumping her with my shoulder. "And your smile makes my entire day, that's how gorgeous it is. But I wasn't even talking about that," I went on quickly, before she could argue. "I was talking about your laugh. The way it sounds."

She waited for me to continue.

"If I could bottle it, I would. Just to hear it whenever I wanted. Forever. If I was in total despair... with nothing left to live for..." I trailed off, shaking my head. I sounded like an idiot and Bella was just sitting there frowning at me, trying to understand.

"There's always something to live for, Edward," she mumbled, completely missing the point. "Always. Don't ever think there's nothing left because if you think that then you're just looking at it all wrong."

I considered her for a moment, wondering if it was just her innocent naivety talking – the innocent naivety that I was so used to – but knowing that in the time we'd been apart she had grown and learned and experienced things. She had hinted on being involved with things that I didn't even want to think about her being involved in, and the thought that she might be speaking from any kind of experience made me sick to my stomach.

"I've been there, Bella," I whispered darkly, shutting my eyes and trying to block out the memories seeping to the surface. "Right to the very deepest pit of nothing."

I thought about those first days without her. The way her desperate shrieks rang in my ears every moment that I wasn't distracted by the intense pain of my injury. The way no one could look me in the eye for the longest time because my sunken, pallid appearance made them sick.

The way I pictured her smiling face waiting for me when I turned the doorknob after work and the way my heart broke every time I realised she wasn't there.

The way not even my favourite foods would cheer me up because I realised they were my favourite foods because she loved them too and now I couldn't share my meals with her.

The way I would double-take in the street whenever I thought I saw her, and didn't.

The way the light in my mother's eyes died out after Carlisle offed himself.

Knowing that it was all my fault.

It was like I was in hell but the heat and light from the fire would have been all too comforting; the tortured cries of the other damned souls too musical. So I was in the seventh circle of hell. It was an icy, dark and desolate pit and only my own actions had led me there. Knowing that it was my choices that had caused everything else to transpire was the worst part of it all.

But from that deep, dark and desolate pit came a ray of heavenly sunlight. A small brush of her thumb on the back of my hand. A gentle kiss on my cheek. Her fingers sweeping my hair back. She was the only one who could save me from myself and keep the nothingness away. The darkness didn't fade, it was completely obliterated by her light. The ice didn't just melt, it formed into the gentle bubbling stream that I could hear in her laugh. The desolation didn't merely disappear, it exploded into a thousand flitting butterflies being joyously chased by my only saving grace.

"Well then," she started, resting her head on my shoulder. "You'll know that it only takes one little thing to get you out again... and then you wonder why you didn't just look up and see the ladder in the first place."

I pulled back and stared at her, not believing that the wisest words I'd ever heard had come from Bella. But then again, even if she'd stayed the way I remembered she still probably would have ended up being the wisest person I ever knew. There was just something about the way she looked at the world, now as well as before, that was so _different_. I think I've said it before but if the entire world was crashing around her she'd stay still and calm, holding on to the people she loved as tightly as she could. And she would play games, trying to pick shapes in the flames like she loved to do with clouds.

"Sometimes it takes something a little bigger," I argued for the sake of it, eager to hear some more of her thoughts. She was, to this day, the most interesting person in my world.

"Bigger than what?"

"It took more than one little thing to pull me out. So your theory is shot down," I smirked. She poked me in the side and I chuckled, tightening my hold on her.

"I'm sure it was something small in the scheme of things. It just seems big to you because it pulled you out of such a deep, dark place. It's that whole Freudian male size thing," she bit back. "Men are more likely to assume that something powerful has to be big. It's actually the smallest things that make the biggest impact on our lives."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to prove it?" I laughed when she didn't elaborate. We were both looking up at the stars and I could see her smiling beside me. Her hand slipped into mine and I twisted my head to kiss her temple.

"Okay think of your last few birthdays," she tried. "I bet the best gift you got was something small but totally perfect."

For any other guy, that would have been a totally reasonable assumption to make. Any other guy would have celebrated his last few birthdays like a normal person. But not me.

***

**Three years earlier – January 9****th**

"Happy Birthday..."

I ignored Jacob as he slumped away, a ragged sigh escaping him before he could even get out the door.

I kept my eyes trained at the blue patch of sky making its way across the window – a rarity at this time of year. I suppose it was a reflection of my own circumstance – I was going to live, after all. I had been shot in the stomach and I was going to be 'just fine'.

I snorted loudly at the thought. I was _never_ going to be fine. It had been just over a week since it all happened; since Bella had disappeared in a literal cloud of smoke. We'd had to bury Charlie. Carlisle, the traitor, was already out of hospital because Renee's bullet had barely grazed him. I still didn't know why the pussy had fallen to the ground like he was dead or, you know, shot in the fucking stomach or something equally painful.

Jacob hadn't been my only visitor. But he was the only one that I didn't pretend to be asleep for. He was the one who was making the most effort to find her, see. The others _wanted_ to find her, but weren't as full-on with the searching as Jacob was – or as I would be if I wasn't stuck in the fucking hospital.

So Jacob didn't get the cold shoulder when he'd arrived. It wasn't until he told me that Renee's house in Phoenix had been sold as originally planned when they were moving back to Forks that my head had turned away from him. He'd hit a dead end. He didn't think there was much point in trying to find them – Renee didn't want to be found.

Fuck that.

Fuck them all.

I would find her myself.

**Two years earlier – January 7****th**

The giant slab of cake in front of me looked amazing. Alice had gone to such a huge effort with it and I really was appreciative of her efforts but I just knew that if I were to try any of it, I would just puke it right back up.

I shovelled a spoonful in and chewed anyway, relishing in the way everyone else's face lit up when I appeared to be enjoying my birthday cake. It was good, I guess. But still, the puking...

I waited until they were distracted by Emmett and Jasper's attempts at detonating the 'Confetti Bomb of Awesomeness' before spitting it out and swapping my plate with an empty one. I even put some crumbs on the empty plate for effect.

It had taken me an entire year, but I had done a hell of a lot of sleuthing and I had found out that the latest home Renee had bought for her and her daughter had been sold. As a deceased estate.

Bella was gone.

My light, my life, my heart.

Gone.

I went to the tattoo parlour that night.

**One year earlier – January 7****th**

"Are you sure?"

Esme's voice carried through the currently empty little house, her arms struggling under the moving box. I took it from her and carried it into the kitchen I would barely use.

"I can't live there anymore, mom," I told her for the millionth time. She sighed, nodding her understanding. I couldn't deny that I felt a little guilty – I was the only one left living with her after everything.

I cringed in remembrance of the previous year's events – it seemed like each year that Bella was gone, things just got worse and worse. There were times, of course, that it had started to look up. Like the day I found out that the house that was sold as a deceased estate had been sold as such because Renee's mother's name was on the deed. There was the slightest sliver of hope.

But then there was Carlisle. After being shot, he went mad looking for Cystemaco's headquarters and trying to locate James and Victoria. He was always turning up at our doorstep, his crazed mumblings becoming more and more frantic with each visit. It frightened Esme to see him that way, and she tried to rush the divorce proceedings so we could all move forward. He learned of Charlie's death and was admitted shortly after that.

So with Emmett and Rosalie married, and Jasper and Alice living together, it was just Esme and I at the old Cullen mansion.

And every nook, every space, every corner, every shadow... it all reminded me of Bella. I walked past her bedroom every night. On my way to breakfast I would pass the office and every time I did, I would look at my feet because I was still ashamed that things got as bad for her as they did in there. I didn't do enough to protect my Bella.

"I know you didn't want a gift but... I saw this while I was buying your groceries and, well..." Esme trailed off, holding something out to me. Her face was both wary and bashful. She was offering me a bag of gummi bears as a birthday gift. Instantly, my heart dropped into my stomach. I turned on my heel and walked away, ignoring her sincere apologies.

**Current year – January 7****th**

"Hey, it's your birthday!" Kristen chirped, noticing the date on my driver's license. I snatched the card from her, shoving it back into my wallet with unnecessary force. "Don't be like that... I hardly know anything about you, Edward..."

We passed through the aisles of the grocery store, picking up whatever was needed and throwing into the shopping cart. She held my hand as we walked and I checked things off on the list.

"Candy... are you serious?" I asked, noting the next item and ignoring her subtle request.

"We eat candy," she justified, leading us to the right aisle.

"_You_ eat candy," I corrected her in a mumble, rolling my eyes at her enthusiasm. Anyone watching might have thought the way she bounced over was cute. I didn't. I hated the way she bounced. It wasn't _right_. It wasn't _genuine_. She was _trying_ to be cute and innocent and it just didn't work for her.

"It might help you feel better. These past few weeks have been rough," Kristen sighed.

"I have plenty of alcohol to deal with that, thanks," I informed her. She shook her head and wandered off. I knew she meant well, but I sure as hell wasn't going to feel better about my father's suicide a few weeks earlier because of some fucking _candy_. Carlisle had been the first man I could really trust, and the first man who had ever really betrayed me. I watched him go slowly insane with guilt and grief, then when the divorce was finally official...

"I haven't had these in so long!" she cried, thrusting a pack of gummi bears gleefully in my face. I caught her wrist before she could place it in the cart and I flung it onto the ground.

"We are _not_ getting those," I growled.

"Jeez, throw a tantrum. All you have to say is that you don't like them," she muttered, not really fazed by my outburst. She continued to look for candy as I glared morosely at the bright packaging on the floor. It had torn open when I'd thrown it and gummi bears laid on the ground like slain soldiers. I hated each and every one of them. "Okay I'm done. Next is pasta."

We moved into the next aisle, where the pasta lived, and while Kristen perused the different sizes of spiral pasta something small and colourful caught my eye. I looked down at the floor and noticed two gummi bears that must have slid under the shelving. They appeared to be embracing. They were red and yellow.

I got my second tattoo as soon as we put the ice-cream away.

***

**Present**

"I don't really celebrate my birthday," I admitted in a low voice. Bella frowned.

"Is it, like... part of your religion or something?" she asked. I had to laugh at that, because it was so very like her to not even consider the fact that someone might not like their birthday.

"No, Bella... you weirdo," I chuckled, squeezing her hand a little tighter.

"Hey, I'm just trying to find your flaw here," she laughed in response. "You're the most perfect guy I've ever met... ever. So it would make sense for you to be part of some strange non-celebratory cult."

"I just don't like my birthday."

"Well... I wanna get you something for your birthday," Bella pressed and for the first time ever, I was kind of annoyed with her. There wasn't any chance in hell I would ever enjoy my birthday and I wished she would just drop it because I couldn't even explain it to her properly.

"I don't want anything, Bella. I really hate my birthday... besides, it was way back in January," I insisted, hoping I didn't sound too harsh. She didn't press the matter any further, but I could tell from her look that this was just other thing she was adding to her list of questions she never actually asked me.

***

**BPOV**

Things in Forks were getting stranger than ever.

Ever since James and Victoria had come to visit me there had been significant shifts in the behaviour of everyone around me. It felt like Edward and I were in a little bubble of happiness and content, just watching as everyone reeled around us. It was as though there was an invisible line separating my Phoenix friends from my new Forks friends. It wasn't a line that affected their relationships with each other, but it was enough for me to notice something distinct between the two groups. I hadn't been able to contact my mother since the visit, though she called a few times. She expressed her apologies for being so unreasonable, and encouraged me to have fun and take my time here in Forks. I remember the first time she told me that it might be a good idea to extend my stay – I had hung up the phone and stared at it in shock for a good minute before Natalie lost patience waiting to hear what she'd told me.

Jason, Nat and Chrissy had become determined to help me find my first family, but my contagious enthusiasm only extended to those from the Phoenix clan. I wouldn't say that the Forks crew were against me finding my family, but they weren't exactly being helpful about it and while my Phoenix friends seemed happier with the prospective meeting my Forks friends seemed hesitant and frankly a little frightened at the idea of me meeting them. It made me think that they knew more about this whole thing than they let on, but how could they possibly? And why would they keep anything from a girl that they barely knew?

"Why can't she just send your things?" Edward asked. He was behind me, arms around my waist as I chopped ingredients for the night's dinner. It was about time I helped Esme around with something – she was so accommodating. My friends and the film crew were taking up the entire inn – she'd had to turn away quite a few people – and I just knew she was letting us have the rooms for cheaper than she would have ever charged anyone else. Chrissy asked her why we were getting such a good deal one night, and she told her that she had 'just taken a shining to all of us'.

"And besides," she'd said, her cheeks rosy as she hung freshly washed sheets out on the line. "I like to support struggling artists... Jason has so much potential. And I heard that you're quite the singer," she added with an easy smile. Chrissy had fallen a little bit in love with Esme when she'd shown a genuine interest in her band, asking questions and making suggestions. She'd even requested that Chrissy send her a CD of their music 'whenever she had the chance'.

Right now, Edward was asking about my trip home. It was a sensitive subject to brooch with him, because neither of us wanted it to happen, but it needed talking about because I needed to leave in two days.

"I haven't been able to reach her, you know that. If she calls before I leave I'll ask her to send my stuff but other than that I don't really have another choice. I need to get my things so I can stay here longer," I shrugged, leaning back into him and scraping chopped zucchini into a bowl. He handed me a capsicum and kissed my ear.

"You have another choice," he purred, trying once again to convince me to let him buy new things. I was going home to retrieve my laptop and printer, more make-up, clothes, jewellery but most importantly I needed the laptop so I could print off and send out resumes to find a job. It was getting well past my birthday and I needed to start paying my own way. I'd had a job back home working in a toy store and had some money saved up but I would need much more than I had if I was going to stay here for the entire duration of the filmmaking process, which was the current plan. Besides, I needed to say a proper goodbye to my mom – we'd left on bad terms and I just wanted to hug her before I disappeared for another month or so.

"You're not buying me a laptop," I told him once more. He let me seed the capsicum without further argument, but I could tell he was formulating some other plot. In truth, I didn't mind. If he could find a way for me to be relatively self sufficient and _not_ go home then I would be happy to do that. I didn't want to leave him.

As I began chopping, Edward picked up a piece and munched on it. I stilled and placed the knife on the chopping board, turning to face him. He looked down at me questioningly. I didn't particularly want or need to say anything; I just wanted to look at him for a little while. My hands found his belt loops and I didn't even need to tug on them this time – he just knew I wanted him closer. He held me there, his fingers playing in my hair, my arms wrapping around his waist.

"Don't go, Bella," he begged. It was a request that I'd heard a million times before, but this time his voice was thick with emotion – his eyes were full of worry and pleading. It made me stop and think about what he was really asking me to do. I had a feeling that it didn't matter if I had needed to go one day after we'd met or if I wanted to leave five years from now – he would still have begged with the same emotion that he was begging me with now. It scared me that I would have begged him like this as well. It scared me that I wanted to find a way to stay in this place forever, whether or not any of my Phoenix friends chose to stay with me. It scared me because Edward was entirely the reason why I didn't want to go. After a few weeks, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.

"I don't _want_ to go, Edward," I sighed, willing him to understand that I wasn't going because I felt like it – I was going because I _had_ to go in order to stay.

"Fucking Beau!"

We both jumped at the sound of Emmett storming into the kitchen, throwing a piece of paper down on the bench. It was a letter of resignation signed by the new guy Edward had been training for the last month – the one who kept mixing up orders and dropping liquor bottles. I was surprised that Emmett wasn't glad to be rid of him. Edward scanned the letter, shaking his head and taking a deep breath.

"I take it you need me on staff tonight, then?" he droned.

"Fucking Beau," I muttered, realising why him quitting was more of a curse than a blessing. Edward chuckled and swiped another piece of capsicum.

"Yes, and because he quit so did Demi," Emmett growled, throwing down another letter of resignation.

"You've got to be joking!" I gasped, taking that letter and reading it, utterly gobsmacked.

"Those two were trouble right from the start. Beau didn't know a damn thing and Demi was more interested in talking to the patrons and flirting with Beau than doing any actual work." Emmett hopped onto the bench beside Edward and took a stick of the carrot I had just moved onto.

"Do you mind?"

"Sorry, Bells."

"I told you hiring Demi was a bad idea," Edward shrugged.

"You only said that because you were banging her at the time," Emmett retorted, crunching down on the carrot stick. I raised my eyebrow at the glare-off they were having. I obviously didn't like to hear about Edward 'banging' girls – especially because he was very skilled at avoiding that particular activity with me – but it wasn't a big deal. I'd never expected anything else from a guy as attractive as him who worked in a bar. He was constantly surrounded by gorgeous drunk girls – hell, if I were in his position I probably would have been even wilder than I'd heard he was.

"Do you want me to save you some dinner for when you get home?" I asked, searching in the cupboard for the flour. To me, _this_ was Edward's home. I knew he lived somewhere else, but for almost the entire time I'd been at the inn he'd been sleeping on the lounge. So many nights I'd wanted to invite him up with me – not for sex.... well, not _just_ for sex – but to be close to him. I often dreamt about being with him. I dreamt of him every night. The dreams were like an alternate reality where we'd known each other for as long as I could remember rather than just for a month. They were so vivid I would have regarded them as premonitions if they didn't always end with Edward being shot in the driveway.

I shuddered at the memory of my recurring nightmare, not having heard Edward's answer. I looked up at him. "Sorry?"

"Yeah, I'd love some."

"I might stop by. I know Chrissy wants to hit the bar again."

"Neither of us are gonna be able to talk or anything," Emmett warned, grinning as I slapped his hand away from the third carrot stick he was reaching for. "I've gotta put Rose in behind the bar as well. We need to start hiring again."

"What's wrong with the bar?" Chrissy demanded, taking up a spot next to Emmett and stealing some cheese from the bowl I'd set to the side. At this point, dinner wasn't even going to make it into the oven. Emmett casually slung his arm around Chrissy's shoulders – they'd become good friends in the month we'd been here. Rosalie hated it.

"Nothing, you booze hound, we're just a little short-staffed," Emmett told her, taking her cue and scooping up some grated cheese for himself. I slapped his hand and he grinned at me.

"I can work if you need me to," Chrissy piped up, explaining how she'd been working in a bar before she got into the band. She was a pro at mixing drinks, and she was sure she'd be able to keep up with everyone else. They slapped a victorious high five and started sharing bartending stories. I shook my head fondly and moved to the stove to melt some butter.

***

**EPOV**

She lifted the pot and tilted it in several directions, spreading the melted butter before adding some flour and stirring vigorously. I came up behind her and rested my chin on her shoulder. I saw her smile. She blew a piece of hair from her eyes and placed the pot back on the stove adding milk and stirring slower this time, watching the mixture bubble. She turned the heat down and sighed, still stirring. She reached a hand over and took my hand. The gesture was sad – she was thinking the same thing as I was; that this whole fiasco with Beau and Demi was just one other thing that we would have to overcome. It was one other thing that would keep us apart before she had to leave.

"I'll wait up," she whispered, reading my mind again.

"You don't have to."

"I _want_ to."

We watched the sauce thicken. She added the cheese to it, effectively ending snack time for Chrissy and Emmett. She let it simmer and reached for a pan. She melted some butter in that as well. Watching Bella do everyday things – like cooking – was probably my favourite thing to do. She was so self-sufficient. Even though she was small, she hardly asked for help. If something was too high, she would climb or get something to stand on in order to reach it instead of asking someone else. She was never too weak to open a jar or anything. I wondered if she had ever questioned her strength before, or if any of her friends had ever questioned it. She was much too strong to look the way she did – you couldn't see her muscles until she was using them. It was the strangest thing. She should have been more buff than Emmett, for all the strength she possessed, but she looked as delicate as a flower petal – like you could break her if you held her too tight.

Watching her do all of these things made me fall even deeper in love with her. I had wanted to tell her so many times how I feel about her – how I've felt for so many years about her – but I didn't want to scare her even thought part of me told me that she felt the same thing she felt for me before she left. We didn't really talk about our feelings ever, we just filled each other in on our respective lives. I didn't care that we never spoke about it. I could _feel_ it in the way she looked at me, the way her entire face lit up when I walked into a room and in the way she always sighed at our first touch – like she had been waiting for it for an eternity. She did love me, I was sure, but I didn't know if she knew it for herself yet. So I would keep my mouth shut and wait until I knew she was sure.

***

**BPOV**

Alice and I had been planning for days. Ever since Edward had told me that he didn't like his birthday, I had wanted to do something special for him. Something that would help him see that birthdays are only ever meant to be joyful celebrations of life and everything life can offer us.

So I had turned to Alice, because she knew him better than I did and she would had the necessary enthusiasm needed to help me with my difficult task. Once I had the go-ahead, I let Natalie – Alice's excitement-double – in on the secret and the three of us began planning an "Un-Birthday Birthday Party" for Edward.

Now the day was here and the boys were distracting Edward while Alice put all of the girls to work. We decorated the inn and made all of his favourite foods. I was in charge of the cake, which wasn't so much as it was a mass of cupcakes. I was on my fifth batch of cupcakes when Alice burst in, Natalie in tow. I could tell before I even looked at them that something was wrong. I whirled around.

"What is it?" I asked, thinking the worst. Edward was hurt, or he was already _here_, or the gummi bears for the cupcakes had gone missing or the presents were destroyed.

"We can't find the CDs you gave us!" Alice wailed, launching into a panicked rant about how the party was going to be ruined, Natalie patting her shoulder consolingly and assuring her that there had to be _something_ they could do. Surely, they could just hop on the computer and burn a new one. They stopped dead when they finally looked at me. I was holding the CDs up with a smile that was threatening hysterical laughter. They were such an awesome party-planning team, but Alice was prone to meltdowns over the smallest mishap. "Oh thank god!" she cried, taking the CDs and rushing off.

An hour later, I looked at my tower of cupcakes and grinned proudly. They were all iced red and yellow, with red gummi bears on the yellow icing and yellow ones on the red. The main room was decorated with pictures of his childhood birthdays, starting from when he was adopted by Esme. There was footage of him growing up projected on a sheet hanging down the far wall. Paper links and balloons were everywhere. There was a table set up with his gifts. The biggest box was my own, though I doubt my gift was the most extravagant. It was a big box filled with lots of little things.

When Alice, Natalie and Chrissy dragged me upstairs to 'make me gorgeous', I knew it was almost time.

***

**EPOV**

I wanted to go home. The guys were seriously pissing me off with their bullshit about wanting some 'man time' at the beach. I'd never heard of anything so fucking gay in my entire life. Yeah, let's spend some time half naked and wet. I wanted to be at home with Bella, seeing as she was leaving tomorrow. I just wanted to steal her away and hold her all day and all night and not let go until I finally had no other choice.

To top it all off, I was now starving as well as irritated. In their zeal, the guys had all forgotten about lunch. I hadn't. I frowned deeper as my stomach gurgled in protest of its emptiness. I patted it and shook my head. I cursed under my breath and got to my feet, heading over to the car. Emmett called after me. I knew they were coming up behind me to try and stop me from leaving, but I just couldn't be fucked to stop. I was going home to Bella and I was going _right now_.

"You know, maybe it _is_ time to get going," Jason suggested, trying to diffuse the situation. The others checked the time and were suddenly more than willing to come with me. They probably caught on to the fact that they hadn't eaten in several hours. Maybe hunger was a psychological thing.

My cell rang. It was the inn.

"Hey, mom," I greeted with a smile. "I'm just heading-"

"Kinky," Bella giggled on the other line. "I didn't realise you had an Edi... Edda... Um..."

"Oedipal complex?" I suggested.

"That's the one," she chirped. "I have some good news." I could practically hear her bouncing on the other end. I pictured her bright eyes as I settled into my seat and buckled in.

"Tell me."

"I don't have to go anywhere!" she squealed. Everyone in the jeep heard and we let out a collective cheer.

"Are you serious?" I asked, brimming over with happiness. She wasn't going to leave! She was going to stay and before the next few months was up, when Jason will have finished his masterpiece of film, I would convince her to stay with me forever.

"Remember how Demi and Beau quit?" she asked. How could I forget? "Well because _they_ quit, the chick at the family health clinic quit _her_ job!"

"Who, Samantha?" I asked, laughing. Samantha had to be the strangest girl in all of Forks, bar Emma. She had met Beau and Demi at the bar and ever since then it was like they were celebrities to her. She was thrilled when they even acknowledged her presence in a room, and if they didn't then she would make her presence known so that they would. She copied Demi's style and now she was followed both of their leads in quitting jobs. Whatever they did was clearly the coolest thing that could ever be done, so she probably quit with glee.

"Yes, and Esme went in there because she was passing and saw that they seemed to be having trouble. She suggested me to replace Samantha and Dr. Marsh said yes straight away! I start on Monday!"

"That's great!" I beamed. "I'm nearly home now. We'll celebrate."

"Definitely," she laughed. "See you in a few."

I snapped the phone shut and pocketed it. I couldn't wait to get home.

* * *

**So once again, Happy Birthday to Edward! (Gummiward? Awesomeward? I'm taking votes!)**

**And please feel free to follow me on Twitter! I'm MadamePlume, of course ;) And I regularly tweet about Human Nature progress, updates and I sometimes even hand out teasers ;)**

**Next chapter will be the party!**


	26. Into The Night

**I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!**

**First of all I just wanted to apologise for such a long hiatus. I've needed some time to get over a few very large events that have occurred since the beginning of the year. They're all quite private things that I don't want to publish on the internet for everyone to know about but I will tell you that a couple of weeks after my last update I found myself no longer engaged. **

**But I am finally back and I can just feel that things are about to come to a huge swell in this story. I've been dreaming about Gummiward a lot lately and he's been hassling me to get his Bella's memory back! So this chapter has been a very very long time coming, folks. I can tell you that it won't be long at all until the next chapter comes!**

**ENJOY!**

**And let me know what you think, of course ;)**

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**EPOV**

Small fingers untied the blindfold. I could smell jasmine, roses and Doritos mixed with raspberry shampoo. I reached out and rested my hands on Bella's hips, hearing the sigh that I lived for. She always seemed so relieved to have me back.

I opened my eyes slowly.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY NEW BIRTHDAY!" everyone cheered. I couldn't help but laugh at the banner across the room. Alice and the girls had been _very_ busy this morning. The entire room was covered in decorations and pictures of my past birthdays. There were balloons everywhere. There was a table covered in gifts and another with a large tower of gummi bear-topped cupcakes. The tallest tier had star-shaped candles on it. Everyone was here. Everyone from the bar, all of Jacob's crew from the reservation, my whole family, all the film crew and Bella's friends. And most importantly, there was Bella.

To say that Bella looked amazing would be a complete understatement. Her hair had been straightened for the event so it hung down her back, just touching her waist in the front. Her clothes weren't revealing, but she looked stunning in her long purple dress and silver sandals. The scarf in her hair matched the dress. I would have to thank Nat, Chrissy and Alice later – they were certainly the ones responsible.

Bella threw her arms around me, elated at my appropriately surprised response. I hugged her tightly, burying my nose in her hair and whispering my thanks. She kissed my shoulder and pulled back to grin at me.

"You said you didn't like your birthday, so I thought we'd give you a new one," she explained.

"Thank you," I smiled. "Thanks, everyone!" I called, looking around. They all cheered and before I knew it, Jasper was steering me to the pool table that had been set up for the occasion and my favourite songs were echoing off every wall of the inn.

**BPOV**

Everyone, even Esme, was feeling a little happier than usual thanks to Emmett and Chrissy tearing it up at the makeshift bar Jacob's friend Seth had built the day before. Everything was going well – Edward was having the time of his life playing the brand new guitar Esme had bought for him.

"It's a Fender Stratocaster..." he murmured reverently, caressing the cherry red body of the electric guitar. I'd never seen him so enamoured with an inanimate object before. It was adorable. "Jimi Hendrix, Santana, Kurt Cobain, John Mayer. They all played the Strat," he informed me, still staring down at the guitar and brushing his fingers over the strings.

"Don't you wanna open your other gifts?" I asked him. Maybe it was a bad idea to have let him open that one first, but there had been no way of keeping him from the obviously guitar-shaped gift when we'd taken him to the gift table.

"Can I hold her while I open?" he asked, his eyes not leaving the Fender. I laughed and plucked the guitar from his hands, eliciting a whine of protest from him. I had a feeling that if anyone had done that they would have been killed.

"You can hold her all night, Edward," I promised as he gazed longingly at the precious cargo in my arms. I placed it gently in its case and locked it. Once satisfied that his new love was safe and sound, he turned his attention to all of the other parcels on the table.

"You should open this one," Natalie told him, sliding over the gift from Alice and Jasper. I stifled a giggle, knowing that this particular gift was going to reawaken the guitar-lust I'd just had to reign in. He noticed my amusement and knelt down suspiciously, tugging at the ribbon while holding my gaze.

"Card first," I reminded him. He rolled his eyes and tore open the envelope attached to the side of the box.

**EPOV**

"Dear Edward," I read aloud. Alice shushed me and told me to read it to myself. She blushed as I finished reading the card, which was completely sappy and so totally Alice. I got up and hugged her and she turned her back to me, wiping a tear away as I knelt back down to open the gift.

"No. Fucking. Way!" I gasped, seeing that it was a brand new amplifier straight away.

"It's a Marshall," Jasper winked. I knew that he'd been the one to make the guitar choice for Esme, and I knew that he was responsible for picking such a fucking awesome amp to go with my heavenly new guitar. I know it's girly, but I got up and hugged the shit out of that motherfucker. Jacob and Leah presented me with a card. Inside the card were four tickets to see Kings of Leon.

"You should take Bella," Leah whispered. I laughed and patted her back as I hugged her awkwardly.

"I intend to," I whispered back with a wink. We smiled at each other for the first time in years.

Next I opened the gift from Emmett and Rosalie, which was a brand new game called Band Hero. It looked pretty awesome even though the songs looked quite pop-centred. Definitely good for some drunken entertainment later in the night. Emmett promised to set it up as soon as I was done.

Alice saved Bella's gift for last. There was a card attached to it and she warned me not to read it aloud. I arched an eyebrow at her as I pulled the card out of the envelope. The picture on the front of the card tugged at my heartstrings. There was a young man hiding behind a curtain while people in party hats looked everywhere for him. It reminded me of the time she'd decided to play hide and seek unbeknownst to the rest of us. I glanced up at her, but she didn't show any sign of knowing how much the card would mean to me. There was so much she could remember in the back of her mind – if only I had some way of bringing all to the forefront of her consciousness. The caption on the inside read 'You may think you're avoiding the party, but you're really just playing Hide And Seek'. I smiled and began reading what Bella had penned. The entire card was covered besides the small caption.

_Edward, _

_First of all I hope you aren't mad at me for throwing this party for you. I just really hated seeing you so sad about your real birthday. No one should be sad on their birthday, especially not you. _

_I want you to know that even though I'll eventually have to go back to Phoenix, you have made this place home for me. I have never really felt like I belonged anywhere before and when I met you I realised that wherever you are is where I want to be. I belong with you. _

_The past few weeks have been the best weeks of my life. I have you to thank for that. You've changed my entire world. You've made everything perfect._

_So I hope that today is one of the best days you've ever had because if I can give you even a fraction of what you've given me then it makes it all worth it. You deserve that kind of happiness. _

_Love Always, _

_Bella. _

I lifted my eyes from the paper and saw that Bella was wringing her hands shyly. I wordlessly tugged her to me and very gently pressed my lips to hers in a thank you that I wouldn't even have been able to word.

"You don't even know what it is yet," Bella giggled, knowing that my kiss was a thank you. I kissed the tip of her nose and told her my thanks was for the card. "Oh, then I'll get another kiss. Good."

I was laughing when I took the large parcel in my hands. I chose to sit down for this gift, feeling the weight and hearing a few things shift around in the box. I furrowed my brow at her as I tugged on the ribbon. She just smiled. Alice was taking picture after endless picture of me, of her, of the box, of the guitar.

I purposefully lifted the lid at an agonisingly slow rate. I kept my eyes on Bella the whole time, watching her nervous look morph into a glare as she caught onto the fact that I was playing with her. She folded her arms, trying not to laugh as I threw her my most innocent look. She lost the battle though, finally grinning and shaking her head at me. I peered into the box.

The box was filled with what would have appeared to be large plastic confetti to anyone who wasn't musically-inclined – but I knew that the box was filled with dozens upon dozens of guitar picks. But the guitar picks only served as filler – there were also several larger wrapped items.

A capo for the Fender.

Five bags of yellow gummi bears.

A blue music book for me to write songs.

What looked to be a hand-made notepad that was already written in. When I went to read it, she halted my movements and shook her head, blushing furiously.

A cigarette lighter that looked exactly like my new guitar.

A novelty phone in the shape of a guitar and amplifier that made everyone crack up laughing.

A brand new leather jacket.

"Bubbles?" I questioned, pulling out the last gift. She reached out and sheepishly took the bottle of bubble juice from me.

"Okay that one's more for me," she admitted, immediately dipping the wand in and blowing a plethora of bubbles my way.

**BPOV**

It was like I was right at home. I barely knew these people but I was more comfortable and _myself_ than I could ever remember when I was with them. It didn't only go for Edward, but for everyone in Forks. I didn't ever want to leave this place – it felt like this was where I was meant to be.

When Edward had laid eyes on the party – on everyone who had gathered because he meant something special to them – I had felt a wave of relief wash over me. He wasn't mad – he was _happy. _I had made Edward happy and it was all I had ever wanted to get out of the day. He loved everything from the paper links to the tower of gummi bear cupcakes I'd made him.

Now he was blissfully drunk, lazing on the lounge with the last of the partiers – Emmett and Jasper, of course – while Alice and I cleaned up around them.

"Bella!" he called. I could picture the lazy grin on his face, a bronze shock of hair covering his eyes. He wouldn't care; he'd leave it there and I'd sweep it away for him later.

"Edward!" I called back, mimicking his tone.

"Say that again!"

"Say what again?" I laughed, tossing the last of the streamers into the trash. I high-fived Alice and shuffled tiredly into the living room. No sooner was I in his arm's reach than I was being pulled onto the lounge with him. As predicted, his hair was in his eyes and I brushed it back as he sighed languidly. "Say what again?" I repeated, nestling into the crook of his neck.

"Say 'Edward'," he commanded, prodding me in the side and chuckling mischievously when my muscles seized.

**EPOV**

"Edward," she repeated, effectively sending my entire being soaring up to the stratosphere. She was the only one who could ever have that kind of effect on me. Drunk or not, I could listen to her speak all day. And not only for the fact that I was now able to have a completely coherent discussion with her, but also for the fact that everything she said sounded like music and meant the entire world to me. Because she was in my life. Because she _was_ my life and most importantly because the words were directed at me. She was talking to _me_.

"Kinky," Emmett slurred, eliciting a giggle from Jasper. I knew they were both thinking it, and I knew neither of them had been passed out like they were pretending to be – no, the fuckers were having too much fun listening in on my private conversations with my girlfriend. _My girlfriend..._ A new grin burst forth at the thought.

"Don't you two have something better to do with your time other than listen in on private conversations between a guy and his girlfriend?" Bella asked, launching a couple of cushions their way and once again proving her uncanny ability to know my thoughts. Or maybe it was just that I had influenced her so much while she was 'growing up' that we simply shared thought processes.

"They're not exactly private if you're speaking in a public area," Jasper challenged as he was being hoisted up under his arms by Alice.

"And if they're kinky they're _definitely_ not private," Emmett pointed, stumbling as he tried to make his way over to the stairwell.

"So you'll be sharing all of your future kinky conversations with your entire family, then?" Bella questioned, sidling over to help him to his room. I stretched out on the lounge, resting my hands behind my head; she would be back.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I will," Emmett answered defiantly, brushing her off and trying to look all indignant as he continued over to the stairwell.

"Well be sure to tell me when you plan on sharing all of that so that I can make myself scarce, okay Em?" I called, throwing a wink in his direction. Bella had made her way back over to him and was helping him up the stairs. I saw him go to brush her off again, but he caught her eye and something in him changed. He grinned and relaxed into her, letting her guide him. He whispered something in her ear, and then they were gone.

**BPOV**

There is a distinct difference between the sound of a guitar, and the sound of a piano. _No shit_, I can hear you thinking. Well you don't even know what I mean yet. Yes, there is the obvious difference in the sense that they are two completely different instruments. But the way the sound emanates through the air is different.

Piano music shimmers, flows, sparkles. I've always been reminded of lakes, rivers and moonlight when hearing piano music. I can see myself on a river bank staring into the shimmering water and seeing the moon and the millions of stars that would be sparkling in the sky if I could tear my eyes away from the ebbs and flows of their reflections.

Music from a guitar is different. While it shares that strange soothing effect as piano music, it doesn't sparkle or shimmer. The only way I can think to compare the difference is that while piano music make me think of a river in the moonlight, guitar music makes me think of a meadow in the sunlight. I often see myself laying in a field and watching the clouds float by. Then again, I can also see myself on the beach watching clouds of smoke from a bonfire, or by a pool on a hot summer day breathing in the scent of the BBQ.

Piano is water. Guitar is air. Both of them are as beautiful as they are essential – water and air, I mean. And I wouldn't know anything about either of them if it weren't for Edward.

"Would you like to have dinner at my place tonight?" Edward asked suddenly.

Well, it was sudden to me. I had gone into a daze listening to him play, but his new guitar was already back in its case when I opened my eyes and it made me wonder how long I had been lying there with my eyes closed before he had spoken to me.

He lowered himself to the ground beside me and scooped me up, waiting for my answer. Dinner at his place? I'd never been before, and he hardly spent any time there – probably because he spent almost all of his time here with me.

"Sure," I replied, trying to sound casual about it but if I was going to be honest with myself I was freaking out a little about the prospect of an even alone with Edward. Truly alone . Not alone in a room with several other people in several other rooms in the same house – but just him and I.

All of my Phoenix crew had left a couple of days ago. The film was done and ready for editing at a new place in Seattle that Jason had been lucky enough to be able to try out. They were leaving for home from there – I'd already said my goodbyes to them. I had a job here, I had my new life and I wasn't going back at any point in the foreseeable future.

Of course, I didn't tell them that. To them I was going to spend a few months here and then go home – start college and begin forging a career. But I had no intention of really doing that. I wanted to find out more about my family here in Washington, and I wasn't leaving until I had come into contact with them. And there was no way I was leaving Edward behind.

"Takeout or home-cooked?" he asked, his fingers finding mine just as I leaned back into his chest. I considered my options, both of them seeming equally appealing. Cooking gave us more time with each other in the kitchen, ordering in gave us more time wherever else...

"Let's order in," I answered quickly with a definitive nod of my head.

"Pizza?"

"Thai."

"This is Forks – there isn't any Thai," he chuckled, kissing my temple. I frowned and let out a huff, settling in the end for Chinese. "Okay and we'll get some movies as well. And plenty of gummi bears," Edward grinned, squeezing me tightly.

I thought about Nat and Chrissy, and all of my other Phoenix friends. I knew for sure that they would never have approved of me going to Edward's place all on my own. But that was the beauty of it all – they weren't here anymore and I was free to do whatever I pleased with whomever I pleased. And most of all, they weren't around to be all in my ear about finding my family. I knew I would find them when the time was right, no sooner and no later. It wasn't as if I wasn't making any effort – I was constantly trying to track down records. I thought I had come close one time when I found a newspaper article about hospital records in Forks that were found after the death of a doctor – records that didn't match any person in the area. The only thing they knew from the records was that it was a girl about the same age as I was. I had been falling asleep at the time that I found it and I wasn't able to find it again after that. I wasn't in as huge of a hurry now anyway . I knew that I had at least a few months to find them – hopefully more than that – and I wanted to use my current time to enjoy my relationship with Edward in a way that I hadn't been able to before.

It wasn't as if all I wanted to do was jump his bones – though the idea certainly _did_ appeal to me. I also wanted to be able to spend time with him, and only him, if that's what I wanted to do. The others were constantly finding ways to take me away from him, especially because he didn't seem to keen on me researching my family history.

He wasn't being unreasonable about it at all – I could honestly understand where he was coming from – but I wanted to find them regardless. He didn't understand what it was like to not remember. Couldn't possibly understand the frustration of not knowing what you were doing for a great majority of your life. But Edward was afraid that I wanted to find them for the wrong reasons. He was constantly reminding me that all that mattered was who I was now and how I felt about my life and myself now. He was always telling me that the past was in the past for a reason – which kind of made me think that he was a little hypocritical because he seemed to struggle letting go of his own past so much – and always went on to say that finding my family and remembering my past wouldn't change who I am.

But of course I already knew that. I just wanted to know who they were.

**EPOV**

"Do you know what we should do?" Bella piped up, spinning around to face me. She was so adorable that I just had to lean forward and kiss her.

"What should we do?" I asked, staying close and taking that gorgeous little face of hers in my hand.

"We should have a super awesome sleepover!" she chirped, giving jazz hands for effect. I chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose before I even realised what she'd suggested.

Bella wanted to stay the night.

"I don't have a spare bed," I apologised with a sigh. It would've been nice, but my lack of hospitable nature in the past led me to shut any potential visitors out.

"Well..." Bella pondered, her brow furrowing in concentration. She had a strange kind of look on her face, like she knew what she wanted to say but was having a hard time getting the words right. I'd seen that look so many times before when she would struggle to remember the right word for something, but Bella pretty much had a full working vocabulary now so it puzzled me to see her searching herself like that.

"What?"

Bella opened her mouth and shut it again, blushing a little as she shook her head furiously.

"No, nothing... nothing," she insisted when I pressed her.

"Say it," I laughed, amused by her sheepishness.

"I wasn't intending on sleeping in a spare bed..." she mumbled, phrasing it more as a question even though it was clearly a statement. She stared into her lap as the enormity of it all hit me. It reminded me of the time she was so determined to have me kiss her, all the times she didn't understand what she was asking of me when she wanted to be a couple. I thought of how I had to explain the importance of keeping our relationship as non-sexual as possible and of how it had been so black-and-white for her at the time.

Things were different now, of course, but I just naturally shied away from overly sexual activity with Bella because in a way I was still trying to protect her. I couldn't help it. It's not as if I didn't _want_ to take our relationship that little bit further – I mean really she was the most gorgeous thing on the planet and I'd thought about it a lot... and I mean _a lot_ – but I just didn't know if she was going to be ready for that kind of thing.

She was doing that mind reading thing again because when she looked up she got this knowing little smile on her face – the same smile she always got when she understood what was going on in the fucked up brain of mine.

"Bella..." I began. She held up her hand, signalling me to stop talking.

"I don't care if we don't, uh..." she trailed off, letting me finish that particular section in my head. "I wasn't really even thinking about that, to be honest," she admitted, blood rushing to her cheeks again in response to her own dishonesty. I knew Bella, and I knew that was _exactly_ what was on her mind. "I just thought that it would be more convenient, especially with movies and... well, I kind of like the idea of going to sleep with you," she added bashfully, sending me a pleading little smile.

With a sigh, I got to my feet and helped Bella to hers. I hadn't responded yet so she still had her puppy-dog eyes in full force. I gave her a disapproving frown and she simply upped the ante, her adorably desperate pout transforming into a mockingly innocent grin. I shook my head and acquiesced – just like always.

"Go get your clothes."

Really, how was I supposed to resist?

Oh god, how was I going to survive this night?


End file.
